Husbands, wives and other SO's
Replies
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My husband deserves honesty, my loyalty, support and love. My husband met me at my heaviest and despite him being fit and me being honest about my weight and me struggling with it., he still chose me. He chooses me everyday. I am not going to say he deserves a hot trophy wife because that just promises a figure that will fade in time. He DOES deserve someone who lives up to her vows and will grow old with him. He deserves to be happy and that happens to involve me growing old with him and being healthy. It also involves me being happy. That is my biggest motivation.0
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A jerk can't directly cause a gain, but depression can lead to eating in people prone to emotional binge.ok, but even if someone is a jerk...that person cant cause the weight gain. its a cop out
I gotcha. I agree with that. No cop out allowed. Jerks will most likely always be jerks regardless of someone's weight.
I'm not an emotional eater and can't pretend to know what that's like, but I imagine it's very difficult to get a handle on, especially in the midst of verbal abuse.
ill prepare for the flaming, but i think depression is a cop out too. Its for the weak. (unless its like post partum type stuff, which is real)
Not flaming, just asking: What makes you think that postpartum depression is any more or less real than any other form of depression? And, are you a mental health professional?
Because all the ppl ive seen who have depression (not postpartum) are just looking for an excuse to hide from tough realities. I blame FMLA.
wouldn't it be nice if life was really this black and white..... I'm not going to flame you but its completely obvious you have never dealt with depression, if only we were all that lucky!
Great way to make assumptions. PUmp your breaks junior.0 -
A jerk can't directly cause a gain, but depression can lead to eating in people prone to emotional binge.ok, but even if someone is a jerk...that person cant cause the weight gain. its a cop out
I gotcha. I agree with that. No cop out allowed. Jerks will most likely always be jerks regardless of someone's weight.
I'm not an emotional eater and can't pretend to know what that's like, but I imagine it's very difficult to get a handle on, especially in the midst of verbal abuse.
ill prepare for the flaming, but i think depression is a cop out too. Its for the weak. (unless its like post partum type stuff, which is real)
It's sad that there are still people in this world who don't understand that it's not just our bodies that can get sick, but so can our minds. Brain chemistry is extraordinarily complex.
Please remember that it takes a strong person to admit they need help. Depression doesn't just hurt the person who is experiencing--it affects relationships, jobs, friendships, parenting, and health.0 -
My wife did not lose all the weight she gained during pregnancy. Considering the fact that they were the three greatest gifts I have ever been given, I will spend what is left of my life honoring her.
When I met her, my life changed forever. All for the better.0 -
My husband deserves honesty, my loyalty, support and love. My husband met me at my heaviest and despite him being fit and me being honest about my weight and me struggling with it., he still chose me. He chooses me everyday. I am not going to say he deserves a hot trophy wife because that just promises a figure that will fade in time. He DOES deserve someone who lives up to her vows and will grow old with him. He deserves to be happy and that happens to involve me growing old with him and being healthy. It also involves me being happy. That is my biggest motivation.
I totally agree with this, marriage and a successful relationship should not be only based on physical attractiveness. At the end of the day you are not only a body. I also think to be successful in a marriage you need to be healthy and consider yourself deserving of love. Your husband deserves to have you on his side as a healthy, confident and loving partner and so he has to be supportive of you as a person.0 -
In for flames.0
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A jerk can't directly cause a gain, but depression can lead to eating in people prone to emotional binge.ok, but even if someone is a jerk...that person cant cause the weight gain. its a cop out
I gotcha. I agree with that. No cop out allowed. Jerks will most likely always be jerks regardless of someone's weight.
I'm not an emotional eater and can't pretend to know what that's like, but I imagine it's very difficult to get a handle on, especially in the midst of verbal abuse.
ill prepare for the flaming, but i think depression is a cop out too. Its for the weak. (unless its like post partum type stuff, which is real)
Not flaming, just asking: What makes you think that postpartum depression is any more or less real than any other form of depression? And, are you a mental health professional?
Because all the ppl ive seen who have depression (not postpartum) are just looking for an excuse to hide from tough realities. I blame FMLA.
wouldn't it be nice if life was really this black and white..... I'm not going to flame you but its completely obvious you have never dealt with depression, if only we were all that lucky!
Great way to make assumptions. PUmp your breaks junior.
Similar to the assumptions you made... "Because all the ppl ive seen who have depression (not postpartum) are just looking for an excuse to hide from tough realities. I blame FMLA."0 -
I think there are two ways to go about it telling your so they need to lose weight. They can be a jerk about it and say you're fat or have a serious talk about becoming more active and eating better together and why it is important.
Ive gained 10 pounds from when we started dating and have gotten incredibly lazy which is what he doesn't like not so much that I have gained. He told me that I really need to get on a consistent work out schedule for my health and my fitness goals (that ive been too lazy to attain). He was never a jerk about it and its not like its something I dont already know. I push him to do better and he pushes me to do better I can't complain!0 -
A jerk can't directly cause a gain, but depression can lead to eating in people prone to emotional binge.ok, but even if someone is a jerk...that person cant cause the weight gain. its a cop out
I gotcha. I agree with that. No cop out allowed. Jerks will most likely always be jerks regardless of someone's weight.
I'm not an emotional eater and can't pretend to know what that's like, but I imagine it's very difficult to get a handle on, especially in the midst of verbal abuse.
ill prepare for the flaming, but i think depression is a cop out too. Its for the weak. (unless its like post partum type stuff, which is real)
Not flaming, just asking: What makes you think that postpartum depression is any more or less real than any other form of depression? And, are you a mental health professional?
Because all the ppl ive seen who have depression (not postpartum) are just looking for an excuse to hide from tough realities. I blame FMLA.
wouldn't it be nice if life was really this black and white..... I'm not going to flame you but its completely obvious you have never dealt with depression, if only we were all that lucky!
Great way to make assumptions. PUmp your breaks junior.
Similar to the assumptions you made... "Because all the ppl ive seen who have depression (not postpartum) are just looking for an excuse to hide from tough realities. I blame FMLA."
This arent assumptions...those are my opinions on the literally THOUSANDS of ppl ive dealth with who've claimed depression.0 -
A jerk can't directly cause a gain, but depression can lead to eating in people prone to emotional binge.ok, but even if someone is a jerk...that person cant cause the weight gain. its a cop out
I gotcha. I agree with that. No cop out allowed. Jerks will most likely always be jerks regardless of someone's weight.
I'm not an emotional eater and can't pretend to know what that's like, but I imagine it's very difficult to get a handle on, especially in the midst of verbal abuse.
ill prepare for the flaming, but i think depression is a cop out too. Its for the weak. (unless its like post partum type stuff, which is real)
Depression isn't a cop out. It is a real illness. Just because it doesn't make anyone's face all scabby or make people walk with a limp doesn't make it pretend. There are many invisible illnesses. Saying that people who suffer from it are merely "weak" is pretty insulting to those people.0 -
My wife did not lose all the weight she gained during pregnancy. Considering the fact that they were the three greatest gifts I have ever been given, I will spend what is left of my life honoring her.
When I met her, my life changed forever. All for the better.
AWWW---and this is what a REAL man would say about his wife....just saying. If you believe it is okay to down your SO because of their weight than you need help!! If your SO is downing you about your weight than they need help!! If either of you can do this to the other than you don't need to be together......that simple!0 -
I just think a lot of people gain weight and act like the only impact it has is that their spouse or bf/gf just doesn't find them as hot as they used to. I can't say how being overweight affects a man's sense of self, but, as a woman, I can say that when I was overweight, I didn't even want to see myself naked, so I definitely didn't want to get naked in front of a guy. I didn't even want a guy touching me because I was so self-conscious about my body. I'm not sure a lot of women realize the toll that takes on a sexual relationship.
It's easy to say "He's just being a pig," or "All he cares about is how I look," and in some cases that may very well be true. But in many cases, it's not so much the weight itself as what the weight has done to your self-esteem and your willingness to be intimate with him. Any sane, healthy man would get tired of constantly being shot down over the fact that you think you're too fat, especially if you are not actively trying to solve that problem. You can't expect your husband to be satisfied with essentially just being your roommate.0 -
A jerk can't directly cause a gain, but depression can lead to eating in people prone to emotional binge.ok, but even if someone is a jerk...that person cant cause the weight gain. its a cop out
I gotcha. I agree with that. No cop out allowed. Jerks will most likely always be jerks regardless of someone's weight.
I'm not an emotional eater and can't pretend to know what that's like, but I imagine it's very difficult to get a handle on, especially in the midst of verbal abuse.
ill prepare for the flaming, but i think depression is a cop out too. Its for the weak. (unless its like post partum type stuff, which is real)
Depression isn't a cop out. It is a real illness. Just because it doesn't make anyone's face all scabby or make people walk with a limp doesn't make it pretend. There are many invisible illnesses. Saying that people who suffer from it are merely "weak" is pretty insulting to those people.
This0 -
A jerk can't directly cause a gain, but depression can lead to eating in people prone to emotional binge.ok, but even if someone is a jerk...that person cant cause the weight gain. its a cop out
I gotcha. I agree with that. No cop out allowed. Jerks will most likely always be jerks regardless of someone's weight.
I'm not an emotional eater and can't pretend to know what that's like, but I imagine it's very difficult to get a handle on, especially in the midst of verbal abuse.
ill prepare for the flaming, but i think depression is a cop out too. Its for the weak. (unless its like post partum type stuff, which is real)
Regular depression is just as valid as post-partum depression, and it can make weight loss extremely difficult. So can many other illnesses and conditions, both mental and physical.
But I strongly believe that anybody can lose weight if they are determined enough. Saying it's impossible because of "such and such" condition is a cop out.
Saying you can't do it because someone is being unsupportive is also a cop out. Plenty of people do it without any support at all.0 -
Why is a husband who tells his wife she's getting fat a jerk?
Perhaps said husband has done so subtly and it went over her head so the only way to actually get her to lose weight is the direct approach. If I was getting fat for what ever reason and my husband told me I was I wouldn't be mad and I wouldn't think he's a jerk. I would realize he was saying it because 1) when he married me I looked a certain way and, well, I should continue to look that way and 2) He's probably beginning to not be attracted to me any longer which is not cool.
Maybe I am in the minority here but whatever. I really don't care.0 -
A jerk can't directly cause a gain, but depression can lead to eating in people prone to emotional binge.ok, but even if someone is a jerk...that person cant cause the weight gain. its a cop out
I gotcha. I agree with that. No cop out allowed. Jerks will most likely always be jerks regardless of someone's weight.
I'm not an emotional eater and can't pretend to know what that's like, but I imagine it's very difficult to get a handle on, especially in the midst of verbal abuse.
ill prepare for the flaming, but i think depression is a cop out too. Its for the weak. (unless its like post partum type stuff, which is real)
Not flaming, just asking: What makes you think that postpartum depression is any more or less real than any other form of depression? And, are you a mental health professional?
Because all the ppl ive seen who have depression (not postpartum) are just looking for an excuse to hide from tough realities. I blame FMLA.
wouldn't it be nice if life was really this black and white..... I'm not going to flame you but its completely obvious you have never dealt with depression, if only we were all that lucky!
Great way to make assumptions. PUmp your breaks junior.
Similar to the assumptions you made... "Because all the ppl ive seen who have depression (not postpartum) are just looking for an excuse to hide from tough realities. I blame FMLA."
This arent assumptions...those are my opinions on the literally THOUSANDS of ppl ive dealth with who've claimed depression.
How do you know they weren't really depressed? Did they tell you in secret and ask you to help keep up the ruse?0 -
A jerk can't directly cause a gain, but depression can lead to eating in people prone to emotional binge.ok, but even if someone is a jerk...that person cant cause the weight gain. its a cop out
I gotcha. I agree with that. No cop out allowed. Jerks will most likely always be jerks regardless of someone's weight.
I'm not an emotional eater and can't pretend to know what that's like, but I imagine it's very difficult to get a handle on, especially in the midst of verbal abuse.
ill prepare for the flaming, but i think depression is a cop out too. Its for the weak. (unless its like post partum type stuff, which is real)
Depression isn't a cop out. It is a real illness. Just because it doesn't make anyone's face all scabby or make people walk with a limp doesn't make it pretend. There are many invisible illnesses. Saying that people who suffer from it are merely "weak" is pretty insulting to those people.
This
is a cop out.0 -
This arent assumptions...those are my opinions on the literally THOUSANDS of ppl ive dealth with who've claimed depression.
What kind of life are you living that you've met literally THOUSANDS of fake depressed people?0 -
This arent assumptions...those are my opinions on the literally THOUSANDS of ppl ive dealth with who've claimed depression.
What kind of life are you living that you've met literally THOUSANDS of fake depressed people?
Thru my occupation.0 -
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I think that it all comes down to respect both for your life partner and for yourself. As far as I am aware, we have one life to live. I want to be the most amazing partner I can be and have my life-mate proud to be with me not just for my dazzling outside appearance, but for the woman that I am as well. Similarly, I would hope that my partner wishes the same for me. When someone lets themselves go and expects the other person to just deal with it, it is selfish and hurtful. All of that said, I have chosen to spend my life with a man who loves me for how I am right now and prefers my body type rather than one I might never achieve (ie long lean and lanky). He also is excited to watch me get into shape and transform into a better me. His love for me is not conditional on that, but because I adore him, I want him to be proud of how I look. Not only does he compliment me at every size I have been at, he is delighted to eat what I eat, help prepare meals that support my lifestyle, and he goes to the gym with me to work on his body also. Win win.0
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This made me literally LOL in a meeting. OOOOOOOPS.
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A jerk can't directly cause a gain, but depression can lead to eating in people prone to emotional binge.ok, but even if someone is a jerk...that person cant cause the weight gain. its a cop out
I gotcha. I agree with that. No cop out allowed. Jerks will most likely always be jerks regardless of someone's weight.
I'm not an emotional eater and can't pretend to know what that's like, but I imagine it's very difficult to get a handle on, especially in the midst of verbal abuse.
ill prepare for the flaming, but i think depression is a cop out too. Its for the weak. (unless its like post partum type stuff, which is real)
Depression isn't a cop out. It is a real illness. Just because it doesn't make anyone's face all scabby or make people walk with a limp doesn't make it pretend. There are many invisible illnesses. Saying that people who suffer from it are merely "weak" is pretty insulting to those people.
This
is a cop out.
Thank you for that clever response. FMLA is only in your country. How do you account for depressed people in other countries? Are they just preparing for when they move to the USA, so they can live on easy street with their fake depression?
How have all these fakers been able to trick medical professionals into diagnosing them, and drug companies to conduct studies to constantly get new and better drugs approved to treat this phantom illness? Those depressed people sure seem to manage to get a lot done in a day.0 -
How have all these fakers been able to trick medical professionals into diagnosing them
Most doctors prefer to just hand their patient a pill and send them on their merry way without actually doing a real diagnosis. Case in point: I was having some insomnia issues many years ago. I went to my doctor about it hoping that maybe he could give me some insight or at the worst say "Go to the store and get some melatonin." What he did was prescribe me an anti-depressant. The only thing he told me was one or two of the side effects (at the time I didn't know it was an anti-depressant until I went home and did my research) He never told me what the pills were for. I never got the prescription filled (I went the natural route) and when I got back he asked me how the pills were working and I told him I never took them. He looked shocked and disappointed in me.
So while I realize that there are people who are depressed I think that all too often doctors push pills on people who don't necessarily need them. It's easier for them to just write out a prescription for what they think is wrong then to sit down with their patient, get to the root of the actual problem and try to fix it.
And as for the "new and better drugs" that the drug companies are coming out with I have a hard time believing that anything a drug company comes out with that is then later approved by the FDA is "better". Especially when I listen to all the side effects. Anything that has been known to cause a "fatal event" isn't worth taking regardless of how bad my issue is. There are better, natural ways to treat illnesses.0 -
A jerk can't directly cause a gain, but depression can lead to eating in people prone to emotional binge.ok, but even if someone is a jerk...that person cant cause the weight gain. its a cop out
I gotcha. I agree with that. No cop out allowed. Jerks will most likely always be jerks regardless of someone's weight.
I'm not an emotional eater and can't pretend to know what that's like, but I imagine it's very difficult to get a handle on, especially in the midst of verbal abuse.
ill prepare for the flaming, but i think depression is a cop out too. Its for the weak. (unless its like post partum type stuff, which is real)
Depression isn't a cop out. It is a real illness. Just because it doesn't make anyone's face all scabby or make people walk with a limp doesn't make it pretend. There are many invisible illnesses. Saying that people who suffer from it are merely "weak" is pretty insulting to those people.
This
is a cop out.
Thank you for that clever response. FMLA is only in your country. How do you account for depressed people in other countries? Are they just preparing for when they move to the USA, so they can live on easy street with their fake depression?
How have all these fakers been able to trick medical professionals into diagnosing them, and drug companies to conduct studies to constantly get new and better drugs approved to treat this phantom illness? Those depressed people sure seem to manage to get a lot done in a day.
im sure its a plot for them to come to the USA.0 -
A jerk can't directly cause a gain, but depression can lead to eating in people prone to emotional binge.ok, but even if someone is a jerk...that person cant cause the weight gain. its a cop out
I gotcha. I agree with that. No cop out allowed. Jerks will most likely always be jerks regardless of someone's weight.
I'm not an emotional eater and can't pretend to know what that's like, but I imagine it's very difficult to get a handle on, especially in the midst of verbal abuse.
ill prepare for the flaming, but i think depression is a cop out too. Its for the weak. (unless its like post partum type stuff, which is real)
Interesting.....
have you EVER suffered from depression??? If not please dont say *kitten*....
pft...cop out.0 -
How have all these fakers been able to trick medical professionals into diagnosing them
Most doctors prefer to just hand their patient a pill and send them on their merry way without actually doing a real diagnosis. Case in point: I was having some insomnia issues many years ago. I went to my doctor about it hoping that maybe he could give me some insight or at the worst say "Go to the store and get some melatonin." What he did was prescribe me an anti-depressant. The only thing he told me was one or two of the side effects (at the time I didn't know it was an anti-depressant until I went home and did my research) He never told me what the pills were for. I never got the prescription filled (I went the natural route) and when I got back he asked me how the pills were working and I told him I never took them. He looked shocked and disappointed in me.
So while I realize that there are people who are depressed I think that all too often doctors push pills on people who don't necessarily need them. It's easier for them to just write out a prescription for what they think is wrong then to sit down with their patient, get to the root of the actual problem and try to fix it.
And as for the "new and better drugs" that the drug companies are coming out with I have a hard time believing that anything a drug company comes out with that is then later approved by the FDA is "better". Especially when I listen to all the side effects. Anything that has been known to cause a "fatal event" isn't worth taking regardless of how bad my issue is. There are better, natural ways to treat illnesses.
I understand that this is a common perception, but I have not found my own doctor to be prescription happy at all. Quite the opposite, actually.0 -
How have all these fakers been able to trick medical professionals into diagnosing them
Most doctors prefer to just hand their patient a pill and send them on their merry way without actually doing a real diagnosis. Case in point: I was having some insomnia issues many years ago. I went to my doctor about it hoping that maybe he could give me some insight or at the worst say "Go to the store and get some melatonin." What he did was prescribe me an anti-depressant. The only thing he told me was one or two of the side effects (at the time I didn't know it was an anti-depressant until I went home and did my research) He never told me what the pills were for. I never got the prescription filled (I went the natural route) and when I got back he asked me how the pills were working and I told him I never took them. He looked shocked and disappointed in me.
So while I realize that there are people who are depressed I think that all too often doctors push pills on people who don't necessarily need them. It's easier for them to just write out a prescription for what they think is wrong then to sit down with their patient, get to the root of the actual problem and try to fix it.
And as for the "new and better drugs" that the drug companies are coming out with I have a hard time believing that anything a drug company comes out with that is then later approved by the FDA is "better". Especially when I listen to all the side effects. Anything that has been known to cause a "fatal event" isn't worth taking regardless of how bad my issue is. There are better, natural ways to treat illnesses.
I understand that this is a common perception, but I have not found my own doctor to be prescription happy at all. Quite the opposite, actually.
Then you are very lucky to have found a doctor like that. I have personally found most doctors to be prescription happy.
For the record I no longer see this doctor and I am currently looking for one who is not only NOT prescription happy but who believes in trying natural remedies first. This same doctor was also saying that vitamin E does nothing for you, spewing "research" that was deemed to be false.0 -
From personal experience, I guarantee depression is a very real thing.
Now, when I was 17 and in my junior year of high school, I ended up pregnant by a guy who took off, so I've been a single mom since then. I graduated high school, dated and LEFT an abusive creep, got a college degree, built a pretty decent career, picked up and moved my daughter and me 1,200 miles from my entire family eight years ago and many other things I could talk about but won't. I am anything but weak.
However, when I was in college, I was engaged to someone who broke my heart worse than anyone ever has. I couldn't sleep for weeks. I cried non-stop, day and night. Lucky for my figure, when I feel down, I lose my appetite. I literally did not eat a single bite for two weeks at a time (twice because he came back and then left again). I was taking a summer class on Shakespeare. It was a class that under any other circumstances, I could have phoned it in and gotten an A, but took an incomplete because I couldn't function well enough to do any of the homework.
It was hell. My mother made me see a psychologist because she was afraid I was suicidal (I wasn't).
Mine was situational depression, which is different from chronic in that once the situation changes, you're OK. But I have no doubt there are people who suffer through that daily. It's a black, scary, hopeless place. It is not a weakness.
Shame on you, Lone Wolf.0 -
Tom Cruise? Is that you???
A jerk can't directly cause a gain, but depression can lead to eating in people prone to emotional binge.ok, but even if someone is a jerk...that person cant cause the weight gain. its a cop out
I gotcha. I agree with that. No cop out allowed. Jerks will most likely always be jerks regardless of someone's weight.
I'm not an emotional eater and can't pretend to know what that's like, but I imagine it's very difficult to get a handle on, especially in the midst of verbal abuse.
ill prepare for the flaming, but i think depression is a cop out too. Its for the weak. (unless its like post partum type stuff, which is real)
:laugh: bwahahahahaha although I dont think Tom Cruise even allowed for that postpartum pregnancy thing.0
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