Register for my wedding??

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mariposa224
mariposa224 Posts: 1,269 Member
in Chit-Chat
I'm 40 years old, this is both of our second marriages, we've finally got the location secured and the date is now firmly set for September 14 (which has been our tentative date for 4 months). I had posted a status on Facebook with the date, time and location (we live in Ohio, are getting married on a beach in Florida, so we're not expecting a lot of people to be there). A friend of mine asked if we were registered anywhere.

The answer to that question is no. It never even really occurred to me to register. We live together, we have all the household items we need, it just didn't cross my mind.

Just wondering if other people registered for a second wedding, especially if they were all ready set up as far as traditional household type items which usually seem to come up on a registry. At this point, I'm going to say that it's not likely that I'll be registering anywhere, but I don't know... Maybe I should. Though I can't conceive of WHY I should at this point, so if people would enlighten me, share their opinions and whatnot, it would be appreciated. Thanks!
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Replies

  • avababy05
    avababy05 Posts: 930 Member
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    If you have everything you need I wouldn't.

    Maybe ask for donations to a charity you both like.
  • JustJennie1
    JustJennie1 Posts: 3,843 Member
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    When I got married it was my first and my husbands second. Aside from the fact that no one knew we were getting married (we wanted to just do it and then surprise the family) when we had our reception later that summer I didn't register any where and I made a point of stating "NO GIFTS" on the invites because we didn't need anything.

    In all honesty I find it rather silly that people who live together, regardless of whether or not it's their first or hundredth wedding, or those who don't live together but are on their own and are established and have their own things register and have showers. A shower was originally intended back when the brides and grooms did not co-habitate and lived at home until they were married so of course they were going to need the essentials and a shower was a great way to get them the majority of the items they needed.

    I'm personally not a fan of showers of any kind.
  • fannyfrost
    fannyfrost Posts: 756 Member
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    If people really push for a registry, you can choose unusual place or items. The things that you would like to have, just would never get for yourself.

    I also agree with the charitable donation.
  • mariposa224
    mariposa224 Posts: 1,269 Member
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    If you have everything you need I wouldn't.

    Maybe ask for donations to a charity you both like.
    That sounds like a good idea! Thanks!
  • mariposa224
    mariposa224 Posts: 1,269 Member
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    When I got married it was my first and my husbands second. Aside from the fact that no one knew we were getting married (we wanted to just do it and then surprise the family) when we had our reception later that summer I didn't register any where and I made a point of stating "NO GIFTS" on the invites because we didn't need anything.

    In all honesty I find it rather silly that people who live together, regardless of whether or not it's their first or hundredth wedding, or those who don't live together but are on their own and are established and have their own things register and have showers. A shower was originally intended back when the brides and grooms did not co-habitate and lived at home until they were married so of course they were going to need the essentials and a shower was a great way to get them the majority of the items they needed.

    I'm personally not a fan of showers of any kind.
    Yeah, see, that was kinda my line of thought as well. We don't need stuff, so why register? Thanks! :smile: I just wasn't sure, due to my friend's comment, if it was something that was *expected.* lol Not a big deal, just wondered. Again, thanks. :flowerforyou:
  • mariposa224
    mariposa224 Posts: 1,269 Member
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    If people really push for a registry, you can choose unusual place or items. The things that you would like to have, just would never get for yourself.

    I also agree with the charitable donation.
    That's an interesting idea as well. Pier One comes to mind, but I still doubt I'll do it. Hahaha Thank you!
  • JustJennie1
    JustJennie1 Posts: 3,843 Member
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    When I got married it was my first and my husbands second. Aside from the fact that no one knew we were getting married (we wanted to just do it and then surprise the family) when we had our reception later that summer I didn't register any where and I made a point of stating "NO GIFTS" on the invites because we didn't need anything.

    In all honesty I find it rather silly that people who live together, regardless of whether or not it's their first or hundredth wedding, or those who don't live together but are on their own and are established and have their own things register and have showers. A shower was originally intended back when the brides and grooms did not co-habitate and lived at home until they were married so of course they were going to need the essentials and a shower was a great way to get them the majority of the items they needed.

    I'm personally not a fan of showers of any kind.
    Yeah, see, that was kinda my line of thought as well. We don't need stuff, so why register? Thanks! :smile: I just wasn't sure, due to my friend's comment, if it was something that was *expected.* lol Not a big deal, just wondered. Again, thanks. :flowerforyou:

    I forgot to add that even though I stated "no gifts" we DID get a LOT of wine. Which of course I didn't say no to:laugh:
  • mariposa224
    mariposa224 Posts: 1,269 Member
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    When I got married it was my first and my husbands second. Aside from the fact that no one knew we were getting married (we wanted to just do it and then surprise the family) when we had our reception later that summer I didn't register any where and I made a point of stating "NO GIFTS" on the invites because we didn't need anything.

    In all honesty I find it rather silly that people who live together, regardless of whether or not it's their first or hundredth wedding, or those who don't live together but are on their own and are established and have their own things register and have showers. A shower was originally intended back when the brides and grooms did not co-habitate and lived at home until they were married so of course they were going to need the essentials and a shower was a great way to get them the majority of the items they needed.

    I'm personally not a fan of showers of any kind.
    Yeah, see, that was kinda my line of thought as well. We don't need stuff, so why register? Thanks! :smile: I just wasn't sure, due to my friend's comment, if it was something that was *expected.* lol Not a big deal, just wondered. Again, thanks. :flowerforyou:

    I forgot to add that even though I stated "no gifts" we DID get a LOT of wine. Which of course I didn't say no to:laugh:
    Hahaha That's awesome! Of course you didn't! I wouldn't either! :laugh:
  • crystalflame
    crystalflame Posts: 1,049 Member
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    When my coworker got remarried, we chipped in on a gift card from Home Depot because they were going to be doing some renovations to the house. I also knew a couple who lived together and had everything they needed, but they asked for Best Buy gift cards because they wanted to upgrade their electronics. If you can see a big expense of some kind in the not too distant future, maybe let people help out with that?

    I third the charity idea though.
  • tzig00
    tzig00 Posts: 875 Member
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    One of my coworkers is getting married this fall but she's been living with the guy for 7 years. She's registered to places but we thought along the same lines so we all chipped in and got them a weekend at a nice hotel around here for a weekend for a "honeymoon" since they didn't have enought money for one. I think that's a great idea.
  • smmorri
    smmorri Posts: 44 Member
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    Another idea is to make a note on the invitations that says a donation will be made at the reception, which could fund a -local- romantic honeymoon, (if you aren't already planning on taking one, seeing as how your wedding is already out of state).... OR the donation could go towards your already planned honeymoon. :happy: Just a thought!
  • vinylscratch
    vinylscratch Posts: 218 Member
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    I remember a Dear Prudence article on this one. Prudence's feelings were that stating "no gifts" is a faux pas because it implies that you were expecting gifts in the first place.

    What you could do, though, is register with a site that offers wedding vacation/honeymoon funds! Because who doesn't need a vacation?! You can break it up into small packages -- people can purchase 50$ toward your airfare, or 100$ for one night in a hotel, etc etc. It's generic and you can use the money any way you choose - it doesn't go to any travel agency or anything - but rather, it gives your guests an easy way to not stress over what to get you, helps them feel good about sending you on vacation, and gives them a print out they can include with a card to show who bought what! I think it might be a great idea for you!

    Here's a good one: http://www.honeyfund.com/
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,248 Member
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    We eloped, but our families still wanted to give us gifts, so we registered at Target and everything was around $20 or under. Stuff like throw pillows, wall art, a pizza stone (still one of my favorite kitchen tools!), and my husband scanned some bags of M&Ms, too. :laugh:
  • StrongAndHealthyMommy
    StrongAndHealthyMommy Posts: 1,255 Member
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    we had a destination wedding, so since they had to get there and get hotel room and stuffs we didn't expect a whole lot....

    we did registration because people would ask.....
    but we also said that we are remodeling the house, so any gift card from home depot or lowes would makes us happy...

    we only got 2 gifts from the register... we got a lot of gift cards from lowes and home depot
    and we also got A LOT, like A LOT of cash for our honeymoon.....
  • ladyjay71
    ladyjay71 Posts: 28 Member
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    I wouldn't register since you both are already living together. However, if someone wants to send you a gift then that's ok, why not? this is a celebratory moment in your life!!!
  • cakemewithyou
    cakemewithyou Posts: 132 Member
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    I'm 40 years old, this is both of our second marriages, we've finally got the location secured and the date is now firmly set for September 14 (which has been our tentative date for 4 months). I had posted a status on Facebook with the date, time and location (we live in Ohio, are getting married on a beach in Florida, so we're not expecting a lot of people to be there). A friend of mine asked if we were registered anywhere.

    The answer to that question is no. It never even really occurred to me to register. We live together, we have all the household items we need, it just didn't cross my mind.

    Just wondering if other people registered for a second wedding, especially if they were all ready set up as far as traditional household type items which usually seem to come up on a registry. At this point, I'm going to say that it's not likely that I'll be registering anywhere, but I don't know... Maybe I should. Though I can't conceive of WHY I should at this point, so if people would enlighten me, share their opinions and whatnot, it would be appreciated. Thanks!

    You know what you should do instead?
    Set up a 'Honeymoon Fund" at your wedding, and let people donate to your honeymoon festivities!! :) Congrats, btw!
  • amelia_atlantic
    amelia_atlantic Posts: 926 Member
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    Some people set up funds (like paypal) that goes towards their honeymoon fund. I think that's a nice idea! Everyone feels like they're contributing something but it's not just stuff off a boring registry. It's a happier present in my opinon!
  • fbmandy55
    fbmandy55 Posts: 5,263 Member
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    For our wedding, we are registering but I believe the proper etiquette is to NOT put on invites but allow your wedding party to spread info word of mouth...

    This is both our first so we are looking forward to having matching dishes, etc... :laugh:
  • kf4vkp
    kf4vkp Posts: 164 Member
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    I think people ask for the registery because they want to get you something but don't know what you need/want/would go with what you already have.

    If I were you, I'd do a dream kitchen list (with all the things in the kitchen that I lust after but can't always justify buying myself), a honey fund, and maybe a redecorating list if you had any things like that planned for the future... but mostly the honey fund.... subsidize the honey moon.
  • ancurtis
    ancurtis Posts: 68 Member
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    I am 42 and getting married for the second time next July (2014). It's a second for both of us and we don't need a thing! We plan to have a big 'ol party to celebrate our new lives together and don't want or expect gifts other than folks to come and party with us. I am still looking at how to deal with the 'where are you registered' question and hope it doesn't come up. If it does, I'll suggest some of the ideas stated here. Good luck to you both!

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