Depressed & Advice wanted

I can really relate to what your going through. There are various stressors in my daily life, triggers to me (being i'm bipolar); So very often i feel myself slipping into depression. At least 2-3 times a week for the past month people have been asking if i'm pregnant. I've gained nearly 50lbs in the past 5 months...

I understand how discouraging it can be to push forward, trying to lose the weight when others are so negative. When people ask if im pregnant, it honest to god; makes me want to cry. Im sure your thoughts are something like
Yea i am fat, why do they care... I want to lose weight (NOW).... Im fat, ill never lose the weight.
You end up agreeing with them..

I've learned just to be pissed about it... then get over it..

Think positive; Be pissed off (whatever motivates you) ... Think like this... If I do A: Then B ...and trust that it will happen.

(I have newly made **** list of people who think my weight is their problem-.. I will rub their faces in my weight loss... So, theyll feel fat and ****ty like i do- this motivates Me) What motivates you?

I find taking the smallest steps... just to get out the door to go for my walk prove to be my biggest accomplishments... If you can just get out that door with your workout gear ready. Then You've made it.

Day by day... with an ultimate goal.




P.S As for your marital problems.... If I was in your shoes sister.. I'd leave that sorry SOB.... Try gettin on match... just chat with a few people; See what your options are. You dont need a man who wont support your effort to be healthy and happy.

I hope this post helps! .. Cheer up hon .... Look up some funny *kitten* on Youtube (cute babies, funny puppies.. or drunk people dancing)

Note:

This snarky and/or thought provoking comment was moved to the Chit-chat, Fun & Games forum to protect innocent.

People can be so mean and hateful. I think it's worse coming from people who love you. Strangers don't know you and base their opinions of you on how you look. Your friends and family know you and shouldn't judge you by your weight. I think, sometimes, they think they are doing you a favor by telling you what you look like (like you don't know). Other times, I think by telling you how bad you look they feel better about themselves. Either way. nasty buggers.
I know it would be easy to say you need new friends but, that's not going to change the way you feel about yourself. And, they are your friends for a reason. I had a best friend for over 20 yrs. who could never say anything positive when something good happened to me. Once, when I lost 20 lbs., she told me, "Don't be so happy...it's just water." I finally told her that she was jealous (not about what I had but the fact that I was happy about it) and I told her she needed a new friend because I was through. I haven't talked to her in 7 years and I don't miss her negativity a bit.
I was always the type of person who never stood up for myself when friends/family said or did something that I didn't like. Now, I'm older and I don't let them get away with everything (I pick my battles) like I used to. They say old people are grumpy and say what ever they want. Now I understand why. After so many years (59 in my case) of the baloney, you just don't care anymore (although, I'm still tactful). It's not easy exercising that back bone but, maybe you should tell them how you feel. If you can't confront them face to face, write a letter or an email. Be honest, they didn't care about hurting your feelings, don't worry about theirs. Your own sister belittling and embarrassing you in public is the worst! She needs a good tongue lashing.
If you are going to lose weight, you have to do it for yourself, not for other people. Your opinion of you should be the one that matters most. You must think positively, make a commitment to do this, and do it. When your weight is back where you want it to be you will feel better about yourself and then you can make them all eat their words.

this reminds me of my ex. He would always make comments like; no one will want you. etc. Believe me, it seems like the end of the world. But It pissed me off so much, that I lost 20lbs and found a new husband. (been married 15 years)

Don't listen to them and remember that you are never alone.

Wow. That is a lot to take in. I am really sorry about all of the negative comments that people have been making about you. It's even more disheartening to hear it from the people that are closest to you. I can't tell you what to say to your husband or your sister to get them to stop making such awful comments, but I can tell you that if you want to lose weight, you can absolutely do it. You can really do whatever you want to do in your life. If you decide that losing weight is what's right, please do it for yourself. Don't allow the negativity from your family members dictate that decision. Depression is always so tricky to deal with, but it can be managed with a series of little things that will make you feel better. You can set plans for yourself to work on treating yourself with a little bit of kindness every single day. You can do things that will make you feel better, and help you to reach your weight loss goals. I think that getting on a weight loss plan and surrounding yourself with positive people is great, but I think self-love has to come first. Be willing to say, "I love me right now; at this size, and I'll love myself just the same at whatever size I am in the future". If you have that self-love, everything else will fall into place. I struggle with this sometimes, but things just feel so much better when I feel good about myself as I am, right now.

If you need any positive friends, please feel free to add me.

You are gorgeous btw.

Wonderful advise! Not much more I can add. You are worth so much more then the way they have treated you. As someone else stated here if someone was doing this to one of your friends, someone you cared about how would you react and what would you say to them and to the people mistreating them? You should defend yourself the same way. You can't change them. You can only treat yourself with respect and not accept their disrespect. When/if it starts again simply tell them quietly, calmly and with dignity that you do will not stay and listen to their negative, hatefilled comments, you do not accept their view of you and simply walk away. Even if you have to leave the house or resturant or close yourself in another room, find somewhere else to be other then in that toxic atmosphere. You are more then your weight. It is who you are inside and how you treat yourself and others that demonstrates your character, integrity and morals. What have theirs demonstrated? Good luck and if you need support and friendship you are more then welcome to add me.