Rant of jump rope RAGE

frenkinstein
frenkinstein Posts: 37 Member
in Chit-Chat
I HATE YOU SO MUCH JUMP ROPE. I decide to use you for fitness, to boost my healthy lifestyle into a new era, but I find that you're not as easy as you look. for the first week I barely contain myself as you wrap around my legs and head, catch the tread of my shoes, shoot out of my hand, and whatever the hell else you feel like pissing me off with. but i persevere, i keep working with you without a complaint. then the big day, am I about to get 200 consecutive jumps without tripping? NOPE. 196 and you catch the tip of my toe, then smash into the back of my head on the next swing around. stay calm. just try again.....then, the hair that broke the camels back....i go to start the first spin...AND YOU SNAG THE TREAD ON THE HEEL OF MY SHOE, RIPPING THE HANDLE OUT OF MY HAND, FIRING IT UPWARDS INTO MY FAN, WHICH THEN FIRES IT BACK INTO MY GOD DAMN FACE. I HATE YOU JUMP ROPE, I WILL ALWAYS HATE YOU.
«1

Replies

  • Joreanasaurous
    Joreanasaurous Posts: 1,384 Member
    I so feel your pain.
  • hookilau
    hookilau Posts: 3,134 Member
    :laugh: :noway: :laugh: :flowerforyou:
  • JustJennie1
    JustJennie1 Posts: 3,749 Member
    LMAO!!
  • Rays_Wife
    Rays_Wife Posts: 1,173 Member
    OMG this is the most epic thing I've ever read on here :laugh:
  • SDkitty
    SDkitty Posts: 446 Member
    HAHAHA best thread ever :laugh:
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    LOL...I hate the jump rope.
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    Man was not meant to jump rope
  • lightdiva1
    lightdiva1 Posts: 935 Member
    Here, I see this and want to throw my jump rope out my car door.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DyqLN3wtPTw
  • LauraMacNCheese
    LauraMacNCheese Posts: 7,173 Member
    hD90F2636
  • MyOwnSunshine
    MyOwnSunshine Posts: 1,312 Member
    Yes, the jump rope has robbed me of all the grown up dignity I ever thought I possessed. I, too, attempt to jump rope for my HIIT after my weight workouts, and end up doing some awkward third grade rendition of jumping rope in the middle of the gym. Sometimes, I get passed the third grade style and start seriously making some jumping progress, only to get tangled up 5 seconds from the end of my interval.
  • frenkinstein
    frenkinstein Posts: 37 Member
    Here, I see this and want to throw my jump rope out my car door.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DyqLN3wtPTw

    ...why would you show me this :(.... hahah
  • fitnh
    fitnh Posts: 238 Member
    I needed that laugh....sorry about your face.
  • megsi474
    megsi474 Posts: 370 Member
    Marry me.
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
    Having lashed myself this morning multiple times while attempting four rounds that included 50 double-unders each, I completely agree.

    And while we're ranting at the actual jump rope, let's not spare those who would post online videos making it look so easy from our wrath as well.
  • CrankMeUp
    CrankMeUp Posts: 2,860 Member
    I love this thread.

    i_love_this_thread.jpg?maxWidth=800&maxHeight=600
    tumblr_lhtbjczqB81qd432g.gif
  • downsizinghoss
    downsizinghoss Posts: 1,035 Member
    Give me a Ho! if you got your funky bus fare

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fK9hK82r-AM


    this will require a certain number of years to make the relevance obvious.
  • ladytinkerbell99
    ladytinkerbell99 Posts: 970 Member
    Thanks for the belly laugh. You have style.:drinker:
  • RobynLB83
    RobynLB83 Posts: 626 Member
    Maybe you have a defective (or possessed ) rope. Try different weights, styles of rope, or lengths.
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    It's too bad you weren't recording yourself for this..you know, so we could further sympathize with your pain >.>
  • _Timmeh_
    _Timmeh_ Posts: 2,096 Member
    dogs_jump_roping.gif
  • 3dogsrunning
    3dogsrunning Posts: 27,167 Member
    Last week I had whip marks on my arm and right now I am sporting two bruised knuckles (although that does allow for a far more colourful story) from trying to master double unders.
    I'm with you.
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    If 6 year old girls can do it, so can you. :wink:
  • BeachGingerOnTheRocks
    BeachGingerOnTheRocks Posts: 3,927 Member
    My husband recorded me jumping rope once. I thought it would be cute to watch. I imagined I was graceful and the bouncing would be kind of cute.





    Um, no. Awkward, wonky, and all the wrong parts jiggled. :noway:
  • BigBrunette
    BigBrunette Posts: 1,543 Member
    LMAO

    I :heart: this thread.
  • sc10985
    sc10985 Posts: 347 Member
    Omg lmao!
  • ShellyBell999
    ShellyBell999 Posts: 1,482 Member
    I don't like jump ropes for that exact reason :grumble:

    That is why I will never own or use one :noway:

    Sorry you got roughed up by it :flowerforyou:

    .
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    Even the ponies can do it :P

    14154__safe_pinkie-pie_apple-bloom_animated_a-friend-in-deed_jump-rope.gif
  • 3dogsrunning
    3dogsrunning Posts: 27,167 Member
    If 6 year old girls can do it, so can you. :wink:

    I thought that as well. I challenge you to try.
  • mockchoc
    mockchoc Posts: 6,573 Member
    Yeah I don't get why it was so easy to use and the hoola hoop and now I'm rubbish with them both!
  • ShellyBell999
    ShellyBell999 Posts: 1,482 Member
    Even the ponies can do it :P

    14154__safe_pinkie-pie_apple-bloom_animated_a-friend-in-deed_jump-rope.gif

    I sometimes wish I were a pony.

    .

Categories