Dealing with an unsupportive significant other
shaff1rm
Posts: 39 Member
A few months ago, I noticed cubicle life was starting to get to me and I was gaining more weight than I would like. So I immediately made some lifestyle changes- bought a yoga class punch card, started walking more, started biking to work, spent more time at the gym, etc.
I also made significant changes to my diet. More veggies and whole grains, no fast food, less processed junk, etc.
It's working perfectly. I'm back where I was in college and have way more energy than I've had before.
The only problem is my boyfriend. He has a naturally fast metabolism and is skinny as a stick no matter what he puts in his mouth, and oh does he take advantage of that. He treats his stomach like a trash can.
The problem I have is that I work so hard, and I've told him to help me encourage my healthy habits. But he just can't seem to catch on. Every time I have a bad day, he brings me a huge sugary cupcake or chocolate bar or something (don't get me wrong- he is a PHENOMENAL boyfriend), always sticks his fast food french fries in my face repeatedly, offers me all of his junk food even after I push it away and tries to get me to cancel my fitness classes or set-aside gym time to spend time watching movies or doing nothing with him.
Don't get me wrong, I love him to death and he's great. But how can I get the message across that I really need him to support me in my healthier lifestyle?
I also made significant changes to my diet. More veggies and whole grains, no fast food, less processed junk, etc.
It's working perfectly. I'm back where I was in college and have way more energy than I've had before.
The only problem is my boyfriend. He has a naturally fast metabolism and is skinny as a stick no matter what he puts in his mouth, and oh does he take advantage of that. He treats his stomach like a trash can.
The problem I have is that I work so hard, and I've told him to help me encourage my healthy habits. But he just can't seem to catch on. Every time I have a bad day, he brings me a huge sugary cupcake or chocolate bar or something (don't get me wrong- he is a PHENOMENAL boyfriend), always sticks his fast food french fries in my face repeatedly, offers me all of his junk food even after I push it away and tries to get me to cancel my fitness classes or set-aside gym time to spend time watching movies or doing nothing with him.
Don't get me wrong, I love him to death and he's great. But how can I get the message across that I really need him to support me in my healthier lifestyle?
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Replies
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Great job on your lifestyle changes!!! Congratulations!!! As for your boyfriend, it's important to note that you can't change people, you can only change how you react to them.
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i think you have to sit down with him and tell him, look i know you can eat and do what you want and that is your prerogative. But I don't want to eat that stuff and I enjoy working out. I love how you bring me treats when I have a bad day but could you maybe start bringing me a bag of baked chips or a frozen yogurt (whatever you want). I want to spend time with you but I also love what working out does for me. It makes me upset when you try to make me cancel my workout because it feels like you don't care about my health the way i am trying to.
Its hard but you just have to stick to your guns. Don't give in to the fries and sugary treats and he will stop offering. My husband used to get me ice cream and chips and dip, now he brings me frozen yogurt and chocolate covered fruit (not great but better).0 -
Oh and if you want some extra support along the way feel free to add me
I've been there with my husband and made it thru to the other side lol. he still doesn't have the motivation that i do and eats junk and when i have a weak day will give in with me but that is his choice to not workout. And he gives in now only because i claim pregnancy cravings 0 -
I WAS in this same position not too long ago. All you can do is sit down and TALK with him and spell it all out for him - no TV going, no radio, nothing else in the conversation, NO DISTRACTIONS. Tell him how important it is to you and, even if he chooses NOT to participate, you would appreciate his support by way of: dot, dot , dot. The only other choices you have are ignore him or ditch him. Best of luck to you :flowerforyou:0
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Tough one, I have to agree with ^^^. Married for 24 years here and I have come to the realization that my wonderful other half cant be EVERYTHING to me. is I need support in an area he doesn't "get" then I have to find what I need... like here is not a bad place to get that. He doesn't encourage me to exercise, but doesn't discourage me and he certainly does not exercise with me. I don't care if he wants to stop and eat fast food burgers, that is not something that tempts and even if it did, it is probably something I need to figure out how to deal with. The world is not going to stop the big drippy burger commercials just for me either.
I can say (just between us) ok and the rest of the world...... that I do find it encouraging when his reactions to me during intimate moments tell me he can tell a difference in the more "sportier" me and when I hear "dang honey, I don't know what you are doin, but you are looking mighty fine!". Biggest thing is I can tell a difference and I feel a difference, this is my motivation..0 -
With guys, they tend to be clueless, and a guy who can eat anything and get away with it will understand even less. Sometimes it can be hard to be on track when you have a major lifestyle incompatibility. Make him understand that his shoving fast food in front of you and taunting you and forcing distractions is supportive and disrespectful.
If he still refuses to listen to you and won't support you by not shoving food in your face, cut off the sex completely. When he asks why, tell him you don't sleep with men who aren't supportive. And if that doesn't work, then dump him. He is "Not" a phenomenal boyfriend if he is sabotaging both your health and happiness. Men always pull crap like this and it's not okay to be ignored as a partner in the relationship.
He's probably ignoring you because he's not taking you seriously because he doesn't respect you in the relationship and because it's a problem he can't personally relate to, and therefore doesn't have that problem, so he doesn't care. When it impacts him personally , then he will care. So like I said, if he continues to disrespect you, pull the plug on the sex and affection and put your needs first. If he won't change, then you can't make him. Leave him for a fit and fab workout guy.0 -
I'm guessing that until recently you and him shared a similar lifestyle and ate many of the same foods. It could be that he simply doesn't understand that you don't eat stuff like that anymore and you need to workout/go to the gym etc. If he has never struggled with his weight (lucky devil!) then he truly won't get it. It could also be that he is seeing you are finding stuff you love outside of your relationship and he finds that threatening. He might be (consciously or unconsciously) trying to bring you back to the relationship because he feels he might lose you to this 'new love' of healthy eating and working out.
You need to talk about this because the more he continues to do this, the more you may resent him/assume he's trying to sabotage you. Sit him down and have a chat - start by validating your relationship, explain how much you love him and how much you appreciate him trying to help by bringing you comfort food etc when you have a bad day. And that while his heart is in the right place, you don't eat stuff like that anymore and you would prefer to do a new thing when you feel bad (like work out, eat something healthier or something else). Don't accuse him of trying to sabotage you. Suggest that you make a 'date' night or regular time to sit down and watch a movie/veg out together (you need down time too!) but stress that this will not involve you eating junk food together. But stress that you will not cancel planned gym/workouts - that is YOUR time for yourself.0 -
^^ Whoa, Whoa, Whoa. If the guy's a PHENOMENAL boyfriend, as the OP stated, I doubt this is an evil-boyfriend sabotage attempt. Seems much more likely that he's trying, in what may be a ham-handed way, to send her a message that he loves her no matter what and thinks she's beautiful just the way she is. He thinks she's depriving herself of true chocolate-covered, deep-fried happiness all so she can be pretty and skinny for his sake. Betcha a buck on this.Make him understand that his shoving fast food in front of you and taunting you and forcing distractions is supportive and disrespectful.
If he still refuses to listen to you and won't support you by not shoving food in your face, cut off the sex completely. When he asks why, tell him you don't sleep with men who aren't supportive. And if that doesn't work, then dump him
OP, I agree with MrsRobertson and cwaters, and I would add this for your consideration: Tell him explicitly that you've made these lifestyle changes for YOU, because you feel better and healthier (and, ahem, sexier) this way. That you're not running yourself ragged out of insecurity about being "skinny enough" for him, but you just enjoy being fitter. That you love how he thinks of you and tries to make you feel happy, and you love spending time together with him, and none of what you're doing is BECAUSE of him (although you hope he enjoys the fringe benefits
. Tell him that if you're down, you'd love it if he could help you take your mind off stuff by pulling you into doing something together that's active but fun and goofy; e.g., it's a one-on-one basketball game or heck, paintball or laser tag. And then figure out a time together that you can do something he'd really enjoy doing together -- even if it's something sedentary, because relationships matter too. 0 -
^^ Whoa, Whoa, Whoa. If the guy's a PHENOMENAL boyfriend, as the OP stated, I doubt this is an evil-boyfriend sabotage attempt. Seems much more likely that he's trying, in what may be a ham-handed way, to send her a message that he loves her no matter what and thinks she's beautiful just the way she is. He thinks she's depriving herself of true chocolate-covered, deep-fried happiness all so she can be pretty and skinny for his sake. Betcha a buck on this.Make him understand that his shoving fast food in front of you and taunting you and forcing distractions is supportive and disrespectful.
If he still refuses to listen to you and won't support you by not shoving food in your face, cut off the sex completely. When he asks why, tell him you don't sleep with men who aren't supportive. And if that doesn't work, then dump him
OP, I agree with MrsRobertson and cwaters, and I would add this for your consideration: Tell him explicitly that you've made these lifestyle changes for YOU, because you feel better and healthier (and, ahem, sexier) this way. That you're not running yourself ragged out of insecurity about being "skinny enough" for him, but you just enjoy being fitter. That you love how he thinks of you and tries to make you feel happy, and you love spending time together with him, and none of what you're doing is BECAUSE of him (although you hope he enjoys the fringe benefits. Tell him that if you're down, you'd love it if he could help you take your mind off stuff by pulling you into doing something together that's active but fun and goofy; e.g., it's a one-on-one basketball game or heck, paintball or laser tag. And then figure out a time together that you can do something he'd really enjoy doing together -- even if it's something sedentary, because relationships matter too.
Yes! ^^0 -
IME, trying to get a man to change rarely works. Actually, women too! So I guess people in general, only change when THEY want to, not when someone else wants them to. There might be tweaks here and there that they'll listen to, but change is hard for everyone. My husband is kind of the same way. What I really put my energy into was turning myself into the person that I wanted be rather than count on him to encourage me. Eventually, he noticed the change in me and started acting the exact way I wanted him to act all on his own. It was really annoying because I spent all that time asking him to do it and he never did! But I found support online, through friends, co-workers, neighbors. This is a great way to get support. I know it's lovely to think that our partners will be able to know exactly what we need and how much we need it, but a lot of the times that's exactly what they think they're doing. I've only been with my guy 5 years, but that's what I've come to realize with trying to change him. But hey! We're here for you! SUPPORT! SUPPORT! SUPPORT! :flowerforyou:0
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IME, trying to get a man to change rarely works. Actually, women too! So I guess people in general, only change when THEY want to, not when someone else wants them to. There might be tweaks here and there that they'll listen to, but change is hard for everyone. My husband is kind of the same way. What I really put my energy into was turning myself into the person that I wanted be rather than count on him to encourage me. Eventually, he noticed the change in me and started acting the exact way I wanted him to act all on his own. It was really annoying because I spent all that time asking him to do it and he never did! But I found support online, through friends, co-workers, neighbors. This is a great way to get support. I know it's lovely to think that our partners will be able to know exactly what we need and how much we need it, but a lot of the times that's exactly what they think they're doing. I've only been with my guy 5 years, but that's what I've come to realize with trying to change him. But hey! We're here for you! SUPPORT! SUPPORT! SUPPORT! :flowerforyou:
^^^totally agree 0 -
I think you will have the last laugh when he eats himself into an early grave with all that crap he's shovelling down his neck.
Heart attacks are not confined to overweight people.
You only get one go on the ride so don't waste it.0 -
Phenomenal great boyfriends don't do what he is doing. Phenomenal great boyfriends will support their SO's efforts. he may be clueless and not mean, and I'll take your word for it that he is a "great guy" but frankly I dont' see it. it's easy to be a great guy when you are hanging around the house watching a movie and being cuddly but it's more difficult when faced with issues or moments likes this.A few months ago, I noticed cubicle life was starting to get to me and I was gaining more weight than I would like. So I immediately made some lifestyle changes- bought a yoga class punch card, started walking more, started biking to work, spent more time at the gym, etc.
I also made significant changes to my diet. More veggies and whole grains, no fast food, less processed junk, etc.
It's working perfectly. I'm back where I was in college and have way more energy than I've had before.
The only problem is my boyfriend. He has a naturally fast metabolism and is skinny as a stick no matter what he puts in his mouth, and oh does he take advantage of that. He treats his stomach like a trash can.
The problem I have is that I work so hard, and I've told him to help me encourage my healthy habits. But he just can't seem to catch on. Every time I have a bad day, he brings me a huge sugary cupcake or chocolate bar or something (don't get me wrong- he is a PHENOMENAL boyfriend), always sticks his fast food french fries in my face repeatedly, offers me all of his junk food even after I push it away and tries to get me to cancel my fitness classes or set-aside gym time to spend time watching movies or doing nothing with him.
Don't get me wrong, I love him to death and he's great. But how can I get the message across that I really need him to support me in my healthier lifestyle?
as for what to do - well, what do you do now when he shoves fries in your face? or brings you cupcakes? if you eat them, after repeatedly saying "no" then he (just like a toddler or a teen) has learned that if he pushes enough, you will do what he wants. If you don't eat the garbage, then he (eventually) get the message. If you tell him once, very very firmly "honey, i love you , and I think it's sweet that you want to bring me treats, but i am not eating these cupcakes/fries and don't want them in the house. If you bring them again, they are going in the trash". and then follow up (pour bleach or somethign over them so you won't be tempted to eat them).0 -
Don't get me wrong, but...if my husband behaved like your phenomenal boyfriend, we'd be having a discussion about what it means to be supportive. He needs to be more respectful of your priorities, just as you should be of his.
Waving food in your face when you've already made it clear you don't want it is just immature, jerk behavior. If he really is a great guy as you say, then he will probably respond well if you just sit him down and talk about the behavior and how it affects you. He might just think he's being funny or cute.
A great guy (or girl) will care enough about their partner to listen to their concerns and respect their needs. Good luck! :flowerforyou:0 -
OP, dont take to heart what some other members are saying about your boyfriend, I particularly raised my eyebrows at the word "sabotage". Seriously, this guy has probably always supplied sweet treats on bad days, its what he thinks a girl wants when they are having a lousy day, and lets be honest girls it usually is!
My other half does the same thing, he wants to share food with me thats he created (he's a chef), share secret bags of sweeties, chocolates and naughty cheeses and wines just because that is what we have always done. Like my other half, your BF is probably more than a little worried about your sudden interest in wanting to be healthier, well what he's actually thinking is "OH MY GOD WHY IS SHE CHANGING HERSELF WHEN I LOVE HER JUST AS SHE IS??!!". He's probably feeling a smidge insecure, they really are delicate little creatures sometime.
I made a point of involving my other half in physical activities without labeling it as exercise, we go out for "romantic walks" on the canal, bike riding, oh and of course a whole lot of :blushing:
Just explain you are doing this to be healthier and so he can have an awesome hot girlfriend, dont exclude him and he will slowly come round, my boy now makes a point of cooking healthier for me.
Good luck xx0 -
Let him read your post. Done.0
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With guys, they tend to be clueless, and a guy who can eat anything and get away with it will understand even less. Sometimes it can be hard to be on track when you have a major lifestyle incompatibility. Make him understand that his shoving fast food in front of you and taunting you and forcing distractions is supportive and disrespectful.
If he still refuses to listen to you and won't support you by not shoving food in your face, cut off the sex completely. When he asks why, tell him you don't sleep with men who aren't supportive. And if that doesn't work, then dump him. He is "Not" a phenomenal boyfriend if he is sabotaging both your health and happiness. Men always pull crap like this and it's not okay to be ignored as a partner in the relationship.
He's probably ignoring you because he's not taking you seriously because he doesn't respect you in the relationship and because it's a problem he can't personally relate to, and therefore doesn't have that problem, so he doesn't care. When it impacts him personally , then he will care. So like I said, if he continues to disrespect you, pull the plug on the sex and affection and put your needs first. If he won't change, then you can't make him. Leave him for a fit and fab workout guy.
@ Christina: Wow, what a shallow way to look at relationships. I truly hope for your sake it is a phase and you can date a man who is exactly that.0 -
My husband generally thinks I'm a bit crackers when it comes to eating. He's seen me go through ever diet, get seriously thin and put weight back on a little too. He never really worries about what he shoves in his mouth - daily crisps and chocolate bars? You bet. Mid-week large pizza dinner? Sure. It used to KILL me.
All I do is make sure the treats are out of my reach, we have seperate treat shelves in the cupboards now (as once I see it's not mine I don't want it, excellent psychological training on my part). I buy things and he buys me things and I just thank him and pop them on my shelf for when I have the calories spare to indulge. I make myelf really fancy dinners on nights when he has pizza (I can't and won't stop him, so I make something amazing just for me, so it's really special) and then I don't feel put out.
He knows my issues, he knows that I'm terrible with temptation and sometimes he calls me boring, but I just don't listen when he does that. He doesn't mean it, he loves me to bits, he just wants me to relax a little more sometimes as he thinks I look perfect.
In a way I'm glad he does it, he's my reality check, he stops me from calling myself fat and tells me that I look amazing. I need that balance in my life.0 -
If he's really wonderful, then probably either his mother, female relative or co-workers have said "if your SO is down in the dumps or feels she looks bad, its her hormones so she needs chocolate". You need to explain carefully that while you do love chocolate, you've found too much makes you feel bad.
If he's not someone who finds talking about feelings and stuff easy, just say "all that fast food and sugar really gives me bad "women problems" "and the subject won't come up again
As others have said, find ways to do fun activities together and arrange to watch TV/movies on your "rest days". if that's still not doing the job, find some nice lingerie in a catalogue and show him, saying "when I reach my goal I'm going to start wearing stuff like that ALL the time" - that should get him counting your crunches like a drill sergeant :laugh:0 -
Could he be feeling a bit left out if you're out if you're out of the house more at the gym and yoga? Maybe you could try to get him involved a bit by asking him to go the gym with you or skipping the gym and taking a nice walk together. How about getting some new foods to you both and experimenting with them by cooking a (fairly healthy) meal together? Might make him more interested if he gets to do something with you and gets his belly filled lol0
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To be honest, you should start trying to impact on how he currently eats and exercises! Just do it subtly.
Challenge him to log his food and exercise for a week and see if he thinks what he is doing is healthy at the end of it. Then explain that you do not want to mimic his calorie intake as you want to live a fit and healthy life.
Also, spending more time apart (such as more time in the gym) will help you cherish the time you spend together. But you could also persuade him to go to the gym too. It can be fun trying to beat each other or even your individual goals.
If he keeps shoving food in your face, just keep refusing it. With a bit of self respect and determination, it is not hard.
As others have said feel free to add me if you want some extra motivation. We all need it sometimes!0 -
A few months ago, I noticed cubicle life was starting to get to me and I was gaining more weight than I would like. So I immediately made some lifestyle changes- bought a yoga class punch card, started walking more, started biking to work, spent more time at the gym, etc.
I also made significant changes to my diet. More veggies and whole grains, no fast food, less processed junk, etc.
It's working perfectly. I'm back where I was in college and have way more energy than I've had before.
The only problem is my boyfriend. He has a naturally fast metabolism and is skinny as a stick no matter what he puts in his mouth, and oh does he take advantage of that. He treats his stomach like a trash can.
The problem I have is that I work so hard, and I've told him to help me encourage my healthy habits. But he just can't seem to catch on. Every time I have a bad day, he brings me a huge sugary cupcake or chocolate bar or something (don't get me wrong- he is a PHENOMENAL boyfriend), always sticks his fast food french fries in my face repeatedly, offers me all of his junk food even after I push it away and tries to get me to cancel my fitness classes or set-aside gym time to spend time watching movies or doing nothing with him.
Don't get me wrong, I love him to death and he's great. But how can I get the message across that I really need him to support me in my healthier lifestyle?
#1 talk to him about it, as a guy I can tell you that subtle hints do not work, Obvious hints do not work. you have to tell him that you do not want him to bring you sweets and junk. He is doing what he has always done to make you Happy. Stop reading too much into it.
#2 he was this way when you met him and you were fine with that, so the fact that you changed should not affect him in the slightest, He never said he wanted to change and it sounds like he is very content.
#3 which goes back to #1, you should talk to him about this instead of strangers on the internet.
Best of luck to you and him. Give the guy a break.0 -
QFT. Now let's read it again.#1 talk to him about it, as a guy I can tell you that subtle hints do not work, Obvious hints do not work. you have to tell him that you do not want him to bring you sweets and junk. He is doing what he has always done to make you Happy. Stop reading too much into it.
#2 he was this way when you met him and you were fine with that, so the fact that you changed should not affect him in the slightest, He never said he wanted to change and it sounds like he is very content.
#3 which goes back to #1, you should talk to him about this instead of strangers on the internet.
Best of luck to you and him. Give the guy a break.0 -
Great job on your lifestyle changes!!! Congratulations!!! As for your boyfriend, it's important to note that you can't change people, you can only change how you react to them.
^^ THIS!!!
it doesn't sound to me like you have a relationship problem at all, there really are some silly comments from people here! It sounds to me like a simple case of immaturity (fella's can be pre-disposed to this condition!)
You don't need his support, do this for yourself, simply say no to the junk, be clear about your gym class times, and make sure you make time to spend with him (very important!) - he'll get the message (eventually!)0 -
You don't need him to support you in your healthier lifestyle. You are here for you. What he does is up to him. Seize the day and run with it.0
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Fwiw, I think you need to come right out and tell him what you need. I think he's just messing around and doesn't realise how hard you find it.
My husband is the most supportive man (and another beanpole). When he knew I was losing weight, he raised an eyebrow when I bought some mini doughnuts (59 cals each, yum!) but I explained that I believe you can lose weight and still have a little of what you like. So, we went for a long hike and he bought some cherry cake. No problem, I knew I could have a little and fit it into my diary. On the hike, I was telling him about another lady on here whose husband was being a bit of a jerk and saying hurtful things about her weight loss and bringing home foods she didn't want to eat, like takeout, and how sorry I felt for her.
He just stopped and said, "quit sending me mixed messages! Should I not have bought the cake? After the doughnut thing... I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU WANT!" I just laughed and told him he was doing everything right, that I still wanted takeaways (once every couple of months) and that I would tell him if I needed something different from him.
OP, your honey sounds a sweetie, but everyone deals with their weight differently. Don't make him guess :-)0 -
You're not going to get him to eat as you do unless he wants to. However, not wanting him to bring home food for YOU that you don't want is a fair request. If he wants fast food, more power to him. But he needs to know that you are trying to change your relationship with food by not eating cake whenever you have a bad day. Figure out together what you can do for bad days. It sounds like he's just trying to do the best he can.
Also, him wanting to spend time with you isn't a bad thing, per se. If you're going into this whole hog, really look at how much time you're spending at the gym. Is he getting the short end of the stick? Now, if there's a thing every time you try to leave to the gym, there needs to be a conversation.0 -
With guys, they tend to be clueless, and a guy who can eat anything and get away with it will understand even less. Sometimes it can be hard to be on track when you have a major lifestyle incompatibility. Make him understand that his shoving fast food in front of you and taunting you and forcing distractions is supportive and disrespectful.
If he still refuses to listen to you and won't support you by not shoving food in your face, cut off the sex completely. When he asks why, tell him you don't sleep with men who aren't supportive. And if that doesn't work, then dump him. He is "Not" a phenomenal boyfriend if he is sabotaging both your health and happiness. Men always pull crap like this and it's not okay to be ignored as a partner in the relationship.
He's probably ignoring you because he's not taking you seriously because he doesn't respect you in the relationship and because it's a problem he can't personally relate to, and therefore doesn't have that problem, so he doesn't care. When it impacts him personally , then he will care. So like I said, if he continues to disrespect you, pull the plug on the sex and affection and put your needs first. If he won't change, then you can't make him. Leave him for a fit and fab workout guy.
@ Christina: Wow, what a shallow way to look at relationships. I truly hope for your sake it is a phase and you can date a man who is exactly that.
I don't think you understood what I wrote. My suggestion that she dump him for a fit fab workout guy wasn't in response to her need for a physical upgrade, it was in context to her emotional need for a spouse that would compliment and support her lifestyle vs a **** headed guy that thinks it's okay to ignore her, abuse her, (even if it's not on purpose).
Let me put it this way, once in awhile or once or twice if he comes home and offers her a goodie, that's kindhearted. That's sweet. But all the time, constantly? Even after she has said no stop, dozens of times? That's just blatant disrespect and sabotage. I can relate to this. I find this supposedly clueless action abusive despite the plausible ignorance. If he was in training for something and wanted to better himself on an exercise front, I doubt he would put up with her thrusting bad food in front of her. I don't look at relationships as shallow. I look at relationships like grenade filled fields. Sometimes a grenade goes off and you survive it and both partners better and sometimes the relationship doesn't make it. I don't how big a problem this really is for her. Maybe it's not a deal breaker, but I have gone through this and I know that it's frustrating as hell.
Sometimes when a person goes through personal transformation it tests the boundaries and limits of the emotional aspect of the relationship as well. Nobody is saying that he can't have junk food. But if he can't do this one thing after being asked over and over, to me it says that there are bigger problems than personal individual food clashes.0 -
Girl, you are NOT alone. My boyfriend does the same things -- he'll always bring me home cupcakes and cookies when I don't feel well or when I've had a bad day. It's a sweet gesture but irritating when I'm trying to avoid excess sugar/calories. I think you'll find that no matter how many times you tell him, it won't sink in 100%, or at least, that's my experience. The most you can do is reject the food he brings you; show that you are thankful but kindly explain you're trying to avoid those things and that he can eat it himself. Maybe you could create a gym schedule and give him a copy and say, "I'll hang out with you whenever you want, except this time and this time" so he won't be disappointed when he asks you to hang out but you're busy. Its good to spend apart especially when you have different lives and priorities.0
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My husband is the same way, he can pretty much eat whatever he wants and not gain...however over the last 15 years we've been together it's not quite as easy for him as it used to be. After aged 30 he gets a little spare tire if he doesn't watch it
However, he always knew that I have issues with my weight so he never did the things that your BF does like taunting me with food. I realize he probably doesn't see how much this bothers you but it's still a little disrespectful. I agree with what everyone else has said. You need to be firm and explain why this bothers you and ask him to please stop. Like I said, he probably is just joking around and doesn't really see how it effects you. If it continues you will begin to get more and more annoyed, though.
Another suggestion is to see if you guys can do some fun and active things together. See if instead of sitting around and watching TV he might go for a hike with you or something. Even if he doesn't have to watch is weight there are plenty of health benefits to eating right and exercizing. See if you can approach him from that way. Good luck!0
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