I am so frustrated

cwilliams080676
cwilliams080676 Posts: 118 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I am ready to cry. Seriously. I was down to 178. Then up to 184. Then up to 192 now up to 204. I cannot take it anymore. I am considering throwing in the towel and learning to love being a fatty.
I know my diet isn't the best. I live in a stressful environment. I am a writer and a mom to seven children.Deadlines are part of my life. I am eating too much processed food right now I know this but they are simple. I struggle with knowing the right amount of calories to eat. Should I be eating 1600 or less or 2000 and not counting exercise?
I also am a chronic migraine sufferer. I cannot eat cheese, caffeine, chocolate, whey, dairy, or hemp milks. I take 400 mg of topamax to control my migraines a day. I can't exercise for 7-14 days until I get used to my new topamax dosage.
I have lost 111 then gained 36 back now I have another 60 more to lose again:( I feel terrible today:(
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Replies

  • kjg1965297
    kjg1965297 Posts: 121
    Never throw in the towel. As hard as it gets keep on trudging along. I understand a busy schedule but I try to schedule my meals on the weekends. I find if you can find the time to even prepare some meals on the weekend or time off it makes a big difference. If you fall get your butt up and keep trying.
  • kellijauch
    kellijauch Posts: 379 Member
    It sounds like you know what you are doing that isn't helping. You said you are eating alot of processed foods - stop, that's gonna hurt you everytime. Your calories are dependant upon how much activity you have. With 7 kids, I imagine you are running around chasing them quite a bit. I'd say start at 1500 calories, and if you're still hungry, eat something healthy. And workout. Cardio is the best way to burn fat. Start jogging. If my doctor told me I couldn't workout because of a medication he put me on, I would tell him to put me on something else. Also, ask your doctor for advice with this (not pills, just expertise). They are usually pretty knowledgable and helpful.
  • akp4Him
    akp4Him Posts: 227
    I, too, have 7 children. I understand busy schedules. Find a time during the week (mine is the weekend), to make a meal plan. It really is helpful. As you are writing out the meal plan...write out how many calories each item has and write down how much of each you can have. That way during the crazy parts of the week...you know what you are eating, and how much you can have. Also, if your children are old enough...get them to help.
    Don't give up! You can do it!!! I lost 90 pounds.
  • mjkanaan
    mjkanaan Posts: 78 Member
    I too am on Topamax, although not that high of a dosage, along with Inderall, for my migraines, so I understand how frustrating it can be to feel like crap most of the time and try to feel well enough to exercise. I can tell you that drinking water is the best thing for my migraines, to wash all the toxins out of your system that may actually be causing your migraines. If I don't drink enough water, I tend to get worse migraines, and the vicious cycle starts all over again. And the water is great for weight loss and helping you to feel full as well. I've also found that exercise actually helps me to feel better, if I can make myself do it. Start with something as small as taking a walk, which is something that you can do and doesn't put a lot of pressure on your throbbing head. And you can do it with your kids.

    Best of luck!!!!
  • southerndream24
    southerndream24 Posts: 303 Member
    I'm so sorry you're frustrated at this point, but don't give up! I have dealt vicious migraines and being on Topamax while college, so I know the frustration.

    The best advice I can give you is this. Diet is always the key. I don't have children, but how about doing meal prep when you have free time? Go ahead and make your meals for the week and portion them out accordingly. That way when you're hungry and have zero time to cook you always have healthy food on hand.

    As far as calories, there are a number of sites that can calculate that amount for you. As you drop weight, recalculate your calorie intake for the new number. Keep doing this and you'll make it to your goal.

    Please don't give up, you've come too far to quit.
  • wanderingwest
    wanderingwest Posts: 42
    Don't give up. Focus on the success you have had. You have lost a tremendous amount already. I too have gained back some of the weight I lost. It is time to refocus and just do your best. Life gets in the way sometimes. Enjoy your kids, enjoy where you are right now. Find more support (for your weight loss journey and your migraines) either at home or in your community. A lot of us are in the same boat. You can do it!
  • Mija2010
    Mija2010 Posts: 11
    I only had five children but I'm going to 'weigh in' here. First I agree with all the above suggestions. Also, the fact that you are ready to throw in the towel reminds me of so many times in my life when I have said the same thing. Interestingly, though, that seems to have been when I had reached my lowest point because, the next thing I knew, I was back fighting harder and succeeding. So, let's say you have hit rock bottom for now and there is nowhere to go but up. Usually, my episodes of throwing in the towel were followed by a stronger commitment and sitting down to work out a plan of action. Sometimes we just need for somebody to give us a little road map to follow to get us started thinking on how we can succeed. I have come up with one for you but it may not be a perfect fit, so please do adjust it as needed. Based on the suggestions you have received here, maybe it would look something like this:

    1) Make an appointment with yourself to sit down and make a plan of action. I would advise going out by yourself, maybe having a salad while you just sit all by your lonesome and write down what you think you can do to get back on track.

    2) Set a short-term goal that is reasonable and doable.You likely know your weight loss pattern and habits and can come up with something that will show progress. Focus on that goal and don't think about the long-term goal yet. Repeat this step when you reach the short-term goal.

    3) Decide how many calories you will eat each day. I like the 1500 that was suggested and make calorie adjustments as needed.

    4) Track your food and progress diligently, no matter what.

    5) Try measuring your food for a while to see if that helps you gain control of how much you are eating.

    6) Remember that while exercise is useful, it is not the more important factor for weight loss. It's the calories you eat each day. You can lose weight if you don't go over your allotment, whether you exercise or not.

    7) Get your kids involved in helping you. They love that! Be sure not to give them policing powers though; nobody wants their child telling them every few minutes that they "can't eat that." Help them to understand that you can eat what you like (hopefully, making healthy choices most of the time), but you need to use portion control.

    I hope that this list of things to help yourself is useful for you. Please let us know how things are going with you.
  • freebirdjones
    freebirdjones Posts: 236 Member
    Look on pinterest for freezer cooking. You take 1 day to prep almost a months worth of food you just pop in the slow cooker. It's an easy way to eat well and save money!
    I bet once you change your diet and workout regularly you may have less migraines.

    On this page I have here there is a BMR calc on there, just figure it out on sedentary & eat back workout cals :)

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/983158-all-in-one-info-page-halp


    Also ask on mfp for motivational friends and keep your journal open =) keeps you accountable
  • nuttynanners
    nuttynanners Posts: 249 Member
    Don't give up! It sounds like you have so much love to give as a busy mother but you need to save a little of that love for yourself. Be proud of what you've accomplished thus far. You're putting far too much pressure on yourself. So you've gained back some weight, but statistically that happens to a LOT of people, myself included. Give yourself realistic goals, allow yourself small rewards, and find foods that you like eating that are also healthy/cost effective. It's certainly within your power to maintain a healthy lifestyle. Just because you have fallen into old habits doesn't mean all of your hard work has been for nothing! A healthy lifestyle is a lifetime commitment, not a quick fix. It sounds like you need to find a balance for yourself. Take it easy, make a plan and follow through with it, and trust that you are going to make progress...you will! You'll begin to feel better in no time.

    Have you asked your doctor about caloric intake and weight loss? I'm sure that he or she would be very willing to give you their advice. Keep looking for support and sources of inspiration. You can do it!
  • cwilliams080676
    cwilliams080676 Posts: 118 Member
    My doctor said no exercise while I get used to going from 100 mg to 400m mg Its a HUGE leap I feel it. I am light headed a lot. I have spent much of my days lying down.
    I want to be better about planning my meals. I cannot have caffeine, chocolate, sugar, art. Sweeteners, meat, dairy including whey, and soy. My dietitian had originally recommended I start eating vegan but I do NOT want to. I enjoy my chicken and pork. I am hoping to enjoy the ice cream again once my migraines get controllable.
    I know my weight gain happened when I stopped tracking my calories. I felt like I knew what I was doing:(
    I have had migraines for 30 years as long as I remember. They are getting worse. If in fact they don't get better my dear is recommending I quit my writing positions.
    I was lifting weights and jogging but I have felt pretty ill lately from migraines.
  • cwilliams080676
    cwilliams080676 Posts: 118 Member
    Yes my dr told me to eat 1000 calories a day to lose SERIOUsLY No thanks lol
  • allisonrinkel
    allisonrinkel Posts: 224 Member
    I only had five children but I'm going to 'weigh in' here. First I agree with all the above suggestions. Also, the fact that you are ready to throw in the towel reminds me of so many times in my life when I have said the same thing. Interestingly, though, that seems to have been when I had reached my lowest point because, the next thing I knew, I was back fighting harder and succeeding. So, let's say you have hit rock bottom for now and there is nowhere to go but up. Usually, my episodes of throwing in the towel were followed by a stronger commitment and sitting down to work out a plan of action. Sometimes we just need for somebody to give us a little road map to follow to get us started thinking on how we can succeed. I have come up with one for you but it may not be a perfect fit, so please do adjust it as needed. Based on the suggestions you have received here, maybe it would look something like this:

    1) Make an appointment with yourself to sit down and make a plan of action. I would advise going out by yourself, maybe having a salad while you just sit all by your lonesome and write down what you think you can do to get back on track.

    2) Set a short-term goal that is reasonable and doable.You likely know your weight loss pattern and habits and can come up with something that will show progress. Focus on that goal and don't think about the long-term goal yet. Repeat this step when you reach the short-term goal.

    3) Decide how many calories you will eat each day. I like the 1500 that was suggested and make calorie adjustments as needed.

    4) Track your food and progress diligently, no matter what.

    5) Try measuring your food for a while to see if that helps you gain control of how much you are eating.

    6) Remember that while exercise is useful, it is not the more important factor for weight loss. It's the calories you eat each day. You can lose weight if you don't go over your allotment, whether you exercise or not.

    7) Get your kids involved in helping you. They love that! Be sure not to give them policing powers though; nobody wants their child telling them every few minutes that they "can't eat that." Help them to understand that you can eat what you like (hopefully, making healthy choices most of the time), but you need to use portion control.

    I hope that this list of things to help yourself is useful for you. Please let us know how things are going with you.
    Yep!!
  • HerpDerp745
    HerpDerp745 Posts: 223 Member
    FYI, you're not burning a million calories doing house work.
  • cwilliams080676
    cwilliams080676 Posts: 118 Member
    FYI, you're not burning a million calories doing house work.
    [/quote

    Um, Where did I ever say that?]
  • HerpDerp745
    HerpDerp745 Posts: 223 Member
    Your exercise log.
  • cwilliams080676
    cwilliams080676 Posts: 118 Member
    I use a heart rate monitor at times to clean. So I know my cleaning burns are accurate. I even underestimate what my monitor tell me.
  • PurpleHAES
    PurpleHAES Posts: 8
    How much weight are you cleaning?
  • HerpDerp745
    HerpDerp745 Posts: 223 Member
    Unless you're cleaning the Sistine Chapel, it's not accurate.
  • barboryte1
    barboryte1 Posts: 13 Member
    I am stuck at 7 kids. I guess I cannot use my twins as an excuse anymore....You go girl. Keep it up. I started MFP at 145 few years ago, no I am almost 180...And I can eat everything and no meds. So what's my excuse?
    I only enter for my exercise specific things I did like treadmill, gym, running. I don't count house work. Just like you can't possibly count food calories accurately, let the house work to be like a bonus.
  • reneepugh
    reneepugh Posts: 522 Member
    We all go through our weight loss ruts. I am feeling the same way you do right now. But what I have learned is tomorrow or even next week, you will feel differently. You just have to give it time. You can do this!!!
  • Lizzy622
    Lizzy622 Posts: 3,705 Member
    Do the best with what you have but don't throw in the towel. I buy frozen boneless skinless chicken thighs which are quick and easy to prepare and much cheaper than fresh or breasts. Pair that with a quick salad of romaine, cucumber and tomatoes and sprinkle on some pumpkin seeds for zinc and fat. Also the crockpot is your friend, especially with seven children. You can make the cheaper cuts of meat tender and throw all your veggies in for a big pot of stew. With a hectic schedule I love dishes that can be reheated as different people are on different schedules in my house.
    Staying away from prepared foods may also help migraines.
  • cwilliams080676
    cwilliams080676 Posts: 118 Member
    Have you ever cleaned after 7 children? EVERY DAY???? Then you don't know. I mop and sweep my whole house 4 times a day MIN. I cooke 3 times a day usually. I do dishes 3 times a day and not just a few dishes a lot of dishes. I won't count them from now on but it is accurate plus I put my daughter in my ergo on my back while I do it. (She is 30 pounds. )
  • HerpDerp745
    HerpDerp745 Posts: 223 Member
    No. It's not accurate. I'm sure you do a lot of cleaning, but it's not 400+ calories per hour of exercise. Your heart rate needs to sustain pace for it to be accurate. Exercise is defined as performing physical effort to improve fitness, putting the dishes in the sink isn't. So unless that mop and those dishes are working up a sweat equivalent of a slow jog for an entire hour, it's not accurate.
  • cwilliams080676
    cwilliams080676 Posts: 118 Member
    Even so that is not enough to gain 14 pounds in 3 months. My TDEE is about 2400 calories. I didn't log 400 in housecleaning. It was 200 or so. I was logging 250 or so in Chalean Extreme as well.
  • HerpDerp745
    HerpDerp745 Posts: 223 Member
    You're underestimating your food and overestimating your exercise. It's a combination of this and water weight.

    There were entries where it was marked close to 400. June 20th for example. Twice.
  • Binkie1955
    Binkie1955 Posts: 329 Member
    Well, as you may know, I'm not a calorie counter but a carbs counter. Science has shown that you don't actually gain fat tissue eating excess calories. You only add fat (adipose tissue) by eating excess carbohydrates and triggering the insulin responses that cause the body to store energy as fat. So proper management of your carbohydrate intake is critical.

    but if this is all news to you by all means read 'Good Calories Bad Calories' by Gary Taubes and please do get the science right.

    After that reach out to me or others in the low carb forum and we can suggest ways to take the next few steps.

    and please like yourself. skinny or fat you are a worthwhile person. you're hanging in there and it sounds like you have your hands full. so like yourself as you are, as you've been and as you intend yourself to be. Please like all three 'you's.
  • HerpDerp745
    HerpDerp745 Posts: 223 Member
    Also, It's possible your TDEE might be off. What method are you using to calculate and are you applying it as a sedentary lifestyle?

    I don't know your physical stats, but it might be wiser to try staying under BMR instead of TDEE.
  • HerpDerp745
    HerpDerp745 Posts: 223 Member
    Well, as you may know, I'm not a calorie counter but a carbs counter. Science has shown that you don't actually gain fat tissue eating excess calories.

    No, actually it has.
  • LexiAtel
    LexiAtel Posts: 228 Member
    My doctor said no exercise while I get used to going from 100 mg to 400m mg Its a HUGE leap I feel it. I am light headed a lot. I have spent much of my days lying down.
    I want to be better about planning my meals. I cannot have caffeine, chocolate, sugar, art. Sweeteners, meat, dairy including whey, and soy. My dietitian had originally recommended I start eating vegan but I do NOT want to. I enjoy my chicken and pork. I am hoping to enjoy the ice cream again once my migraines get controllable.
    I know my weight gain happened when I stopped tracking my calories. I felt like I knew what I was doing:(
    I have had migraines for 30 years as long as I remember. They are getting worse. If in fact they don't get better my dear is recommending I quit my writing positions.
    I was lifting weights and jogging but I have felt pretty ill lately from migraines.

    How much water do you drink? Could it be possible that these headaches and your ill feelings are dehydration? I used to get headaches every night. I ate a lot of sodium rich foods (which sounds like you are too), and I surely didn't drink enough water to support that kind of "diet". I stopped a lot of the foods with high sodium, and I don't get headaches anymore.

    When lifting weights and exercising, you need to amp up your protein amounts. Normally a chick should have 40g a day. But when they are getting etiquette exercise, you need around 60-100g per day.

    There are many speedy meals you can make that do not require boxed stuff. For example, rice takes about the same length of time to make as the boxed pasta, so why not choose that instead? You can add pre-bought (no SALT added) frozen veggies (or buy veggies and freeze them), and a meat of your choice to it (I end up with pork and chicken a lot too, because I am poor), this meat could be cooking on the stove or in the oven while the rice is getting ready.

    Pretty much for a decent dinner, all you need is a slab of meat (baked, grilled, or pan fried), a side (veggie, rice, cottage cheese, or pasta), and a fruit is good to have too. This doesn't take much more than preparing an unhealthy boxed meal... You still gotta cook the boxed meal...

    I know you said you couldn't have a lot of food.... I am not sure what you can have after all what you listed... but I am sure the pre packaged foods are not helping you (or your children). I do not want to sound like a health fanatic here, nor am I trying to sound like I KNOW IT ALL, and that you are poisoning yourself, because I am not. I am letting you know my point of view... it took me just as long to make dinner with pre-packaged foods as it does now with healthier choices, but it took me about a year to realize this... seriously... we gotta learn to cook :P

    EDIT: I feed 2 people with $145 a month, I am not sure what you budget is, I am sure it's pretty low with 7 children. But it's possible to eat healthy and not hurt the wallet too.

    Maybe you can possible try growing a few things if you have a back yard.. like tomatoes, potatoes, squash, leafy lettuce ,and/or peppers. All these things I have grown and other than squash (because it's the most plant to get bug problems) they are EASY to grow and can produce a lot (10 - 50 POUNDS per plant).
  • TheRealParisLove
    TheRealParisLove Posts: 1,907 Member
    No. It's not accurate. I'm sure you do a lot of cleaning, but it's not 400+ calories per hour of exercise. Your heart rate needs to sustain pace for it to be accurate. Exercise is defined as performing physical effort to improve fitness, putting the dishes in the sink isn't. So unless that mop and those dishes are working up a sweat equivalent of a slow jog for an entire hour, it's not accurate.

    I'm guessing you don't do much housework. Of course, most men can't handle that kind of work load. That's why they go into easier professions like military or construction or computer coding. It is the rare man who can efficiently manage a household with only 1-2 children. Never heard of a stay at home dad of 7 kids. They just can't hack it.

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