Discouraged by tandem dieting

With regard to healthy meals, I make sure I add lots of veggies to anything (not deep fried ones). I won't buy crisps, biscuits etc as I will just eat them. I don't log religiously but I will come on here on say Monday morning and log for the last 3 or4 days. My lunches are largely the same every day.

I tend to go for nuts and fruit as snacks. And as long as I am in the right direction overall I don't stress for the sake of one meal or one day.

Hope this helps (feel free to have a look at my diary although it is all over the place so might not help too much)

It's like quitting smoking - you can't just make someone do it because they have to want it themselves. If they don't, then they will fail. As a guy, I can tell you that I can't deal with my pride being under a perceived attack, i.e., my significant other thinking I can't do something that she can (male pride thing). I know that's probably some bro psychology, but marriage codependency is the worst kind of codependency because you can't just walk away. You need to get him involved and challenge him. There is a plethora of healthy meals on the internets - try new things! Reward yourselves jointly for hitting goals.

I do the counting of calories and the planning of meals and snacks because the hubby hates that part.

I know it's not your fault and that it benefits both of you if he is healthier, but he is an adult (I assume) and it seems impractical and unsustainable that a lot of the work of his changing his own lifestyle should fall to you.
It would be like saying he won't exercise unless you hold his hand during the workout. The best thing you can do is to find a way to motivate him so that he wants to do it even if it is annoying. I highly highly doubt that many people, even on this site, enjoy calorie counting in and of itself. But those who have succeeded in reaching their goals owe in no small part to having gone through the process and having held themselves (and no one else) accountable. I think that's the only way not to quit, because the process itself will not change to help you by becoming easier/faster.

ETA: One idea would to suggest the idea that the part he seems to like, exercising hard after work, won't get to show as much if the food part is sabotaging it. I'll bet that many people prefer one side of the in/out equation to the other depending on their interests and personalities, but they do the complementary side because it would be a shame for the other effort to completely go to waste.

There is no "bad" food, only excessive portions (of some foods). Plan meals with foods that you like to eat, but maybe modify the relative amounts of components - double or triple quantities of vegetable, halve or quarter starches (to like a single portion for each of you - generally between 1/2 to 1 cup), reduce fatty meats, keep lean meats probably the same or substitute beans/lentils/legumes/vegetable proteins for meat sometimes. Preferred methods of cooking (meat) would be baking, stewing/slow cooker, followed by broiling and then pan frying. I'd try to stay away from deep fat frying (unless you really like that - then limit frequency to once or twice a month and portions about 300-400 calories per serving). Avoid desert or select "healthy" items - fruits, yogurt, etc

note: (I use "meat" to include beef, pork, poultry, fish, etc)

What I've found useful is making things you already like in a healthier way. Like pizza? Make tortilla or Flatout pizzas or quinoa pizza bites. Like Mexican? Bake shrimp/chicken in the oven with diced tomatoes, peppers, and onions with seasoning and eat in lettuce wraps. Like pasta? Give spaghetti squash a try.

There are so many more options besides just salads and grilled chilcken and veggies. Check out skinnytaste.com, Pinterest, and undressedskeleton.tumblr.com for ideas.

Are you trying to eat healthy by cutting out all the things you like? Eating a lot of lean chicken and broccoli type eating? There aren't good foods and bad foods. There's eating too much food though. Prepare the foods you like and eat them in proper portions so you stay in budget. If you're trying to live on foods you don't enjoy it is going to make this really hard and boring.

I'm just saying let him plan his meals on myfitnespal on the food logs so it is less stress for you.

I was doing the low calorie "diet" thing since Feb 2012. 20 lbs lost in 12 months. (yo-yoed a lot in that year)

Since joining MFP in April 2013, I have found what my calorie range is supposed to be and I have lost 12 lbs in the 9 weeks. I eat anything I want, just not as much of it. And yes, I make choices about food as I always try to get the most bang for my "calorie buck"

My fiance at first thought I was crazy for counting my calories and eating the way I do but he has seen the results. Now he is full on board. We both eat at or near our MFP goals set for our lives (sedentary - both have desk jobs) and try to get fitness in every day. Even a walk around the block at night just to help stay under the calorie goal. But the key is we eat what we want, so long as it fits into our goals. Just yesterday, we eat had a personal pan pizza from pizza hut. Normally, he would eat 1/2 of a large pepperoni pizza. Do we suffer? No because we worked to make sure the cals we eat fit our goal.

I dont know for you but my MFP goal is 1380 (500 cal a day deficit) and I try to burn about 500 extra cals a day. That puts me at 1880 cals a day. (Very close to my TDEE -20%) I can get a lot of great yummy tasty food in on for these cals.even fast food, take out, and m&m's AND STILL LOSE WEIGHT.

Find out what your TDEE and eat 20% less than that (google tdee calculator). Or use the MFP method (with a reasonable 1 lb a week weight loss goal) and eat back your exercise cals. If you will do it this way, you and your husband wont suffer, unless either of you have a medical condition that would prevent you from losing weight this way.

This is my first post so forgive any grammatical or procedural errors but after reading your post I wanted to respond. I'm a 42 year old, happily married, white male who works a pretty sedentary job and until recently didn't do much more than watch TV and read. March 15, this year I got on the scale and decided it was time to do something different. I weighed 248 pounds and couldn't do much of anything without losing my breath. I downloaded the MFP app on my iPhone and just started recording what I was eating. It took less than a week for me to cowboy up, look in the mirror and resolve to change. I did NOT change my diet substantially just the amounts of what I was eating. I am a fiend about recording every single thing that enters my mouth from a Claritin to soda to chocolate cake. More often than not at the end of the week I was over my calorie count sometimes by 10% sometimes a lot more. BUT I was losing weight and more importantly feeling a lot better. I was drinking regular Coke, eating fast food, and talking a 30 minute stroll 2-3x a week. The more I weight I lost the better I felt and the more motivated I was to try a 'heathy' option for breakfast, lunch, or dinner (Klondike 100calorie bars rock)! 3 months later I'm still eating pretty much normal foods, have almost totally cut out sodas, and exercise a lot more (because I want to). I'm not where I should be eating healthy or by weight but I'm motivated by constant improvement. 40lbs gone 30lbs to go!

Yes, it's a lifestyle change and we should all eat this and not that, blah blah blah... But for me, small changes at a time have lead to big changes. If he isn't wanting to work his life around "what are we allowed to eat" just let him make a small sacrifice. Maybe, drink all the soda or eat all the chocolate he wants but DON'T go over the calorie count. Eventually, he may start opting for more filling high protein lower sugar alternative snack vs the Milky Way. Good luck and remember no matter his choices we all have our own path to walk. You can work at improving no matter what's happening around you. I'm betting if he sees that improvement in you he'll be thinking about what he can do too.