do you consider this process to be healthy for your kids?

I absolutely think its a positive thing in you and your child's life. I have a 4 and 6 year old, I don't ever talk about being fat or unhappy with any part of my body, I don't weight myself or talk about weight with them, we talk about healthy food choices, how it makes you big and strong, how food can keep your teeth and bones strong, my 6 year old is always asking me about food, what's good and what's not, I love teaching them about the healthy lifestyle we live.

This is the "process" I'm doing too. It's not about neglecting myself or abusing myself or making chocolate bars naughty or bad or evil or poison.

I was eating thousands of calories of junk a day and it made me fatter than I wanted to be. I am eating a reasonable amount now of better food choices, still allowing for treats. I NEVER talk about what I "can't" have, just what I choose not to on occasion. If I don't get to my "goal" weight, I will never stand around and tell myself or my child I'm terrible. Sometimes, my brain offers that and I tell it to shut the heck up.

I am a single mother of twin 6 year old boys. They have seen my journey from the beginning. When they ask me why I get up early to work out, it's because I want to be healthier. When they ask me why I'm not having ice cream with them after dinner, I tell them that I am full from dinner and that dessert is not something we need to eat to be strong and healthy. I told them once that I was sick of being fat. They looked at me like I had six heads and one of them said "you aren't fat mommy, you're beautiful". I thanked him, hugged and kissed him. Then I told him "You're right, baby. Mommy's not fat. But she doesn't always make the healthy choice and she wants to try to make better choices" He related to that much better and while I still have negative thoughts about myself sometimes, I keep them to myself. I no longer talk negatively about myself, as I know that I do not like when someone I love talks negatively about themself.

When we grocery shop, I ask them to help me pick out healthy foods that they like. They LOVE all fruits and vegetables so it isn't hard. We don't buy a lot of cereal or packaged foods because I try to keep it clean as best as I can. They enjoy helping me bake or cook meals and that gives me an opportunity to discuss with them the benefits of the foods we eat. We talk about protein and fiber and fats and sugars. I don't deprive them of "treats"- we still drive thru McDonald's for a happy meal from time to time. They may not fully understand what I'm telling them, but I am honest and teaching my children valuable information to help them fuel their bodies properly.

I LOVE the Dear Mum letter, by the way. Thanks for sharing that!

Soda is poison.

Don't lie to your kids. Just tell them soda has lots of sugar and other ingredients that don't make it healthy if consumed in large quantities. But, don't tell them it's poison.

This...don't teach your kids to have a bad relationship with food. A little soda from time to time isn't killing anyone...drinking several 32 oz big gulps daily is another story...but I'm pretty sure that's explainable without food shaming.

diet pop is not poison. In my opinion, that type of talk undermines your credibility as a parent and as an adult.

When I found out that the stories my parents told were fiction, I then dismissed everything they told me as questionable.

You may dislike diet pop, you may choose not to stock your home with it. But calling it poison is a lie. Don't lie to your kids, or yourself.

This is absolutely how I feel about that.

Diet soda isn't "poison."

I stopped believing my mom when she told me that if I used tampons my future husband wouldn't believe I was a virgin. I read the box. Mom = liar. I think I was 11.

This is going to come from a very personal place.

My mom is and was a very loving person. Loving of everyone but herself. I grew up with the constant stream of she was gaining weight, she needed to exercise more, she needed to eat less, she needed to lose weight. It wasn't fun. It was not a healthy thing to grow up with.
I now have body issues, and I really can't blame anyone but myself. However, my mother's attitude toward herself has not in any way made me a healthier person. If anything, it's a detriment to my own growth and learning, because from such a young age I was taught that SIZE was important, not health.

You can teach your children to be healthy, without giving them food or body issues. Right now, with what you're doing... I would stop. Teach them moderation. Teach them about fresh fruits and veggies and good meats. Teach them to love themselves. To be strong and healthy. Teach them that exercise is good and fun, not a punishment.

So, to answer your question directly, no... it's not healthy for your kids. Or my kids. Or anyone's kids. And yes, it DOES have an effect on them, and normally its a bad one.

This. Several studies indicate that young children are more likely to become overweight later in life when their parents restricted them from "junk" food. A few years back researchers showed a study of almost 15000 boys and girls between 9 and 17 over 3 years. The kids "dieting" in the sample gained much more weight than the nondieters and were more likely to engage in binge eating.I believe it was a study done by Harvard and Stanford, directed by by Alison Field and Austin?

I think it's been healthy for my 15 year old. We are eating healthier. I've not made him alter what he eats because of my choices. He still eats pizza and ice cream even if I choose not to. I do make him try new foods that I make. He's not a picky eater and usually enjoys the new foods.

He is about 20 lbs overweight. He's 6 ft tall so it's not a huge amount. I've never told him to lose weight because I didn't think it was good for him to diet. He has finally decided on his own that he's ready to "get in shape". We went and bought him a new bike yesterday because he wants to ride with me. We had a great talk about changing his eating habits so that he's controlling portions better. He's very excited for Tuesday to get here so he can get his cast on his arm switched from a full cast to a short cast. I'm excited for him!

I know it's healthy for my kids. I don't really say things like "Can't have x, y or z". I still fit in my treats. My kids eat the same way I do, whether it's "splurge day" and we're having pizza or grilling some chicken and having veggies on the side. My 3 year old loves drinking water and having fruit/veggies. He will tell you "I have to drink my fresh water/eat broccoli so I grow big and strong!" But the kid can eat some ice cream if I give it to him! He also pays attention to what we are doing. He will exercise with me or go on walks. It's a great example I think.

I think if you frame it more positively, it doesn't have to have a negative impact. So...

From
"Soda is poison."

To:
"No thanks, I really feel like a glass of water. It is great for my body and I feel refreshed after."

From
"I wish I could have this, but I will have this instead."

To:
"I'm going to eat this healthy meal--not only will it fill me up, I'm getting all the nutrients I need and it tastes great.

Listen, I know that making dietary and health changes are frustrating, but if you continue to focus on what you can't do instead of all the benefits you're getting, you're going to fail. And your kids will definitely pick up on your negative feelings. Congratulate yourself on making healthy choices and also congratulate them when they follow in your footsteps.

I've tried to make it a positive experience for the family.

"Look, this bread has all sorts of grains and smells wonderful! I'll bet it tastes great too!" (It does)
"Don't you love dance class? It makes you stronger and gives you flexibility that could help you in your life. Then you won't look silly in Zumba like I do right now; I'm just now learning things you can do already."

"Isn't it so cool that you're only 6 and you walked a 5k race with me? Some people don't do these races until they're 20! Pioneers used to walk 20 miles a day by their wagons."

"See how happy the dog is that you walked him around the block an extra time today?" She was in the room when the vet said he needed to lose his middle-age pound. She's been very helpful in helping run the dog around extra times in a day.

Focus on the positive. She doesn't know how much weight I've lost, she does know how much she's gained but I try to put that into perspective with the fact she's growing taller and is very healthy on the internet chart I found for calculating kids' BMI.

My husband, on the other hand, complains that having low cal cheese, low fat yogurt and low carb bread is "turning him into a sissy." He hasn't complained around the kids yet, and I consoled him during his last complaint session by pointing out his taco had full fat cheese and hamburger on it, just for him. I do buy some of my foods for just me, and full fat versions for the family, but predictably they break into my food when they're done with their own snacks. So far, I hear that "my" food tastes pretty good.

It's all about perspective, I guess.

We do not talk about being "fat" in our house, we do not talk about calories, or logging food. We do talk about what is healthy vs. not so healthy for us, we talk about what food does to our body (both good and bad) we talk about why exercise is good for us and how its important to move lots. We make almost everything ourselves, not because I want to, but because we have no choice. Between the 5 people in our family we have some pretty serious allergies as well as Celiac and Crohns disease. Buying a box of pop tarts or making a frozen pizza for dinner will never be an option.

And all my kids - 10, 5 and 3, cook. They help in the kitchen and WILL know how to cook for themselves when they are grown up. My daughter is right now preparing a roast chicken to go into the oven, and she'll make corn and mashed potatoes to go with it. . (Her night to cook, she picked the menu) I think its incredibly important that kids know how to cook for themselves before becoming adults. I want them to have a brain full of cooking knowledge so they aren't relying on fast food and pre-packaged meals. If they choose that path anyway, then that is their choice but at least I will know I did what I could.

Our kids usually get 3 home cooked meals a day, but they do get treats,. Today after spending most of our morning cleaning all the water from our flooded basement, we had Wendys.

I don't disagree about aspertame. My kids won't drink it either. For me and my body, it actually is poison and genetics means it likely will be for them too.

I think it's important to get them thinking about all the ingredients we deem "safe" just because the FDA says so and they're everywhere. Cigs were once "safe" because everyone smoked. Even doctors. There are a lot of commonplace ingredients we eat everyday that are banned in the EU and elsewhere. Lobbyists spend ungodly amounts of time and energy trying to convince you their wonder ingredient is OK, even though it may or may not be.

Instead of associating it with poison, maybe there's a more positive way to get your kids thinking for themselves. I think learning about sugar would be a cool way to do it. How much is in food, how it affects your body, and the different ways we get sweeteners -- sugar canes, agave cactuses, and lab chemicals. You could do a 'hands-on' experiment where they could have just a tiny taste of each one and make note of what it looks like, tastes like, smells like -- be real scientists. Then you can learn what kind of sweetener is in different types of foods. Really blow their mind -- show them savory stuff that has sugar, too! Have little tastes of the foods and discuss how it affects your body. There's a lot of experiments you can do to pass an afternoon that would be really fun and teach them how to think about what's in food!

I am nearly 40 years old. I was an average sized kid that liked food. My mom pushed her food and weight issues on to me. I now realize I didn't have a weight problem...no issue....until I needed to lose weight after having a baby. I was normal and sometimes below average weight all of my life. However I will never feel that way. Even now she will do things like randomly ask me 'have you considered going to Jenny Craig'. Because she thinks being underweight is healthy and beautiful. Even though she tops 200 lbs. I have to brush these things off. But it has permanently damaged my psyche.

I try very hard to avoid self-hating talk, fat shaming, anything like that. We talk about food and exercise in terms of health -- how our bodies need to move regularly, how we need to keep our muscles strong. We talk about the nutritive value of food -- how protein and fat and carbs all have roles to play. We talk about vitamins and minerals.

No food is bad food, but we also talk about how some foods used to be rare, so people think of them as treats - and that those foods can be pleasurable, but if we eat them in large quantities our bodies don't do as well.

I am purposely not talking about logging foods with them, or calorie restriction, or anything like that. I *have* sometimes looked at the calorie totals on a "treat" food and said "That's as much as a grown person should eat all day!"

my siblings are 11 and 12 and are in desperate need of a health change. i set them up with an account, heavily monitored by me and my parents, and the elder one seems to love it. it helps him make better choices. the younger is really getting in the habit of recording what she eats and will soon start to "see the light". i think that this process can be very healthy for kids.

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