Hanging out with my husband at...a strip club?
Super ultra random, I know-- but I'm looking for some direction/advice on this.
My husband and I recently talked about going to a strip club together. We were out to dinner downtown at a nice restaurant that's near a famous stip club and he wanted to go there afterward. We ended up not going because we had to pick up our daughter by 10 p.m., but he keeps bringing up going back (apparently he's latched onto this! lol).
I'm super nervous. I've never been to a strip club and my main concern is that I have absolutely no clue how I'll react. My hubby said he wants to watch me get a lap dance, but the thought of one makes me kind of uncomfortable. I told him I'd need (not want-- absolutely, hands down need) to have a few drinks in me before I'd even be able to think about it. I'm pretty sure I'd feel completely awkward and i'd just end up laughing and embarrassing myself. I seriously have no idea how to act at a strip club. Do you smile? Do you talk? Do you stare blankly while puke builds up in your esophagus? Do you touch? Do you not touch? Do you look at all of her bits and parts? Do you attempt not to look at them? I'm seriously freaked out by this.
And then there's the fact that I'm sure my husband would want his own lap dance. That's a whole different ballgame. I admit I have a bit of a jealous streak in me, but I think I'd be OK with it. But again, what am I supposed to do while he's getting his dance? Do I like...watch? Check Facebook on my phone? Log the lap dance experience I just had onto my MFP exercise because I'm pretty sure by the time it's over it'll be as if I'd just run a marathon? Smile and giggle like I'm 10? Plot the ways I'm going to torture the chick for putting her bits and bobs in my hubby's face? Hahaha... no, but seriously. What the heck do you do? I'm super prone to feeling awkward, and this may as well be the most awkward thing ever for me.
Yes, the drinks will help, but I'm pretty sure I'll just end up laughing hysterically out of nervousness and get thrown out or something.
Anyone have any input here? I'm really trying to be supportive in this fantasy of his, and I appreciate that he wants me to go with him and isn't asking to head up there with his work friends or something, but I'm still completely and totally not sure how this is supposed to go down.
PS: If this somehow violates some MFP TOS, well, sorry.
My husband and I recently talked about going to a strip club together. We were out to dinner downtown at a nice restaurant that's near a famous stip club and he wanted to go there afterward. We ended up not going because we had to pick up our daughter by 10 p.m., but he keeps bringing up going back (apparently he's latched onto this! lol).
I'm super nervous. I've never been to a strip club and my main concern is that I have absolutely no clue how I'll react. My hubby said he wants to watch me get a lap dance, but the thought of one makes me kind of uncomfortable. I told him I'd need (not want-- absolutely, hands down need) to have a few drinks in me before I'd even be able to think about it. I'm pretty sure I'd feel completely awkward and i'd just end up laughing and embarrassing myself. I seriously have no idea how to act at a strip club. Do you smile? Do you talk? Do you stare blankly while puke builds up in your esophagus? Do you touch? Do you not touch? Do you look at all of her bits and parts? Do you attempt not to look at them? I'm seriously freaked out by this.
And then there's the fact that I'm sure my husband would want his own lap dance. That's a whole different ballgame. I admit I have a bit of a jealous streak in me, but I think I'd be OK with it. But again, what am I supposed to do while he's getting his dance? Do I like...watch? Check Facebook on my phone? Log the lap dance experience I just had onto my MFP exercise because I'm pretty sure by the time it's over it'll be as if I'd just run a marathon? Smile and giggle like I'm 10? Plot the ways I'm going to torture the chick for putting her bits and bobs in my hubby's face? Hahaha... no, but seriously. What the heck do you do? I'm super prone to feeling awkward, and this may as well be the most awkward thing ever for me.
Yes, the drinks will help, but I'm pretty sure I'll just end up laughing hysterically out of nervousness and get thrown out or something.
Anyone have any input here? I'm really trying to be supportive in this fantasy of his, and I appreciate that he wants me to go with him and isn't asking to head up there with his work friends or something, but I'm still completely and totally not sure how this is supposed to go down.
PS: If this somehow violates some MFP TOS, well, sorry.
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Replies
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I applaud you for being so open minded and considerate. Lucky hubby you have there.
Don't over think it.. just go have some fun. I bet you will wonder why you were so worried. Let us know how it goes 0 -
I would say go if your curious,but don't jump right into the lap dances. Just tip the dancers on the stage and see how you react to that first.0
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I would say go if your curious,but don't jump right into the lap dances. Just tip the dancers on the stage and see how you react to that first.
This is a good idea. This way I can kind of watch other people and see how they react. My main concern is that I don't know what to do with myself. LOL. Thanks! 0 -
I applaud you for being so open minded and considerate. Lucky hubby you have there. Don't over think it.. just go have some fun. I bet you will wonder why you were so worried. Let us know how it goes
Awww thanks. I try to be supportive and open, and NOT uptight. I just seriously don't know strip club etiquette. 0 -
I agree with Poison...just be upfront with hubby and tell him you'll go (if you really want to)---see how it goes from there!0
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I would say go if your curious,but don't jump right into the lap dances. Just tip the dancers on the stage and see how you react to that first.
Solid advice.0 -
Girlllllllllllllllllllllll, just go and have a great time! They don't let you touch, but you surely can look. I love to go to female strip clubs. And a few drinks in your system don't hurt either. Either way, I am sure you'll have a great time. :drinker:0
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I would say go if your curious,but don't jump right into the lap dances. Just tip the dancers on the stage and see how you react to that first.
This is a good idea. This way I can kind of watch other people and see how they react. My main concern is that I don't know what to do with myself. LOL. Thanks!
its also a good way to see how you will react to a stripper shoving her bits in your husbands face without having to commit to a lap dance that would last longer.0 -
Go. It's fun, but if you're uncomfortable with the lap dance part just save that for the next time (assuming there is a next time).0
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Well done for being so open to the idea. Seems you (/your husband?) are putting a lot of pressure on yourself to go even though it seems you don't really want to.
If you have no interest, suggest to hubby he goes with some friends. He's lucky you're so happy with the idea of him going.0 -
They don't let you touch
You're going to the wrong strip clubs.0 -
You're considerate for wanting to fulfill his wish.
I agree with observe first, but I'd skip the drinks this time around. Save the cals for next time when you might really need them. 0 -
Whoa. Take like 50 deep breaths. Have drinks. It really will be fine. You're over thinking this to death. Just go, watch what's happening, and when you're ready, just remember no touching. Relax a little and you might even have some fun.0
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Can this be a double date with another couple you know? I think if I had a female friend there for moral support, I'd be more relaxed and comfortable in that kind of environment. Just a thought!0
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If it was a male lap dancer then sure I'd go for it.
Me, I'm really not interesting in watching another female shake her bits in my face.0 -
I applaud you for being so open minded and considerate. Lucky hubby you have there. Don't over think it.. just go have some fun. I bet you will wonder why you were so worried. Let us know how it goes
^^Agreed! You should go at least once. You may surprise yourself and actually have a good time!
Speaking from past experiences 0 -
After a few drinks you will probably relax and not even think about "etiquette".! You will probably have fin.
However, you do sound a bit uncomfortable so let you husband know this. So go, try to have fun but hopefully he understands if you feel weird in anyway he is okay with just leaving. It is great you are so open for sure. However, if you don't have any real interest don't do anything that makes you feel uncomfy just to please your husband.0 -
I've been in a similar situation - I've been to 3 or 4 strip clubs with my hubby and/or a group of friends. It wasn't awkward at all unless you are uncomfortable with seeing women nude. The women in ALL of the clubs we went to were super cool/nice to me and the other female in our group. We got free lap dances and special attention, which my hubby thought was so entertaining.
It was a fun time for everyone, and it really wasn't scary or too weird. It's not something I'd do on the regular but for the couple times we went it was interesting to see what goes on. Then again, my hubby really wasn't "into" strip clubs, it was just sort of a novelty to go at the time.
We got to see some amazing dancers and some of these women are just so flexible - like they are doing gymnastics on the pole, no joke...I went and tipped quite a few of the girls. I also got a chance to chat with a few of them and you'd be surprised, some had PhD's, in college, etc - and then there were some who simply said I have a Corvette payment to pay for. All in all, not a creepy experience.
Now, the strip club we went to in Tijuana...well, that was creepy as all get out, I don't recommend that! lol0 -
First thing to realize, as a woman you will get all kinds of attention at most strip clubs. Girl on girl gets the guys going even if it's a lap dance, so they will focus on you in order to increase their own tips. If you're with a group, it's going to be even more since they will try to get the crowd around you going.
Since you're this nervous before even going in I'd suggest doing something prior to arrival to relax yourself, whether it be pre-gaming or something else. Just relax and try to enjoy yourself. Most strippers are pretty good judges of people's comfort level and personality. It's a learned behavior, and really in their best interest as it helps them make better money. If you're nervous or not feeling it just tell them and they should leave you alone.0 -
I dint think i would in the uk bit were booking vegas next year and i would happily get a dance of a women hahah i plan to go with him he has to experience it some time or the other with me hehe iust ,means he has to book a spa weekend and come with me yayayyy0
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They don't let you touch
You're going to the wrong strip clubs.
Maybe, I am but It's all good. I still enjoy myself :drinker:0 -
I've been to a strip club several times with DH and a few of his friends. The rule is I tip the girls when they walk by the table. It's funny because the strippers all know how much guys like girls on girl..so they will flirt with YOU before they'll flirt with your husband.
As for the lap dance...my husband was going to pay a girl to do that for me, but they wouldn't allow him in the room, so we didn't do it. I was okay with it if we had. Mainly because it would turn my husband on, and it turns me on to know he's turned on. LOL
I have a good time. But I can understand why someone might be more nervous. My husband and I have a very, very secure relationship and totally trust each other. He doesn't even want to go to a strip club without me. And we only go because he has one friend who, until he got a girlfriend, really wouldn't go out unless we joined him there.0 -
They don't let you touch
You're going to the wrong strip clubs.
Come to Canada!0 -
It's not as bad as it seems.
I've been to the local one a few times with the ex husband and then again with a boyfriend.
I felt totally out of place, but no more so than I did at Hooters, initially. Once in...piece of cake. What was FUN was when the ex hubs got a little ticked that I was getting more attention than the guys, bwahaha. That, and like Hooters, women are treated really well in there. Or at least that's been my experience.
I agree with the poster that said go, but don't jump right into the lap dances. Let YOUR comfort level be your guide.
I think it's cool that you are open to this. Your hubs is a lucky guy! 0 -
Being confident helps. Nothing wrong with looking, staring even(they're used to it). I admired their beauty more then anything. Dont touch them tho. My boyfrnd and I went to a few of them. A few of them might come to the table to try to get you to agree to a private dance, or a threesome even. That's where it gets expensive. Just don't bring too much money, be yourself, laugh of you want to. Lapdances can be fun, but its ok if you don't like it because the stripper just cares about getting the money. If you dont want a lapdance say ao. And dont worry too much about it and try to have fun.0
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OK, so say I say "honey, let's do this. But let's skip out on the lap dances for the first time so that I can get a feel for the place."
I think he'll be OK with that. I think. That is, until some chick with giant chesticles (I sound like I'm 5, but I'm trying to keep this PG... lol) is all like "hey, baby, you like these?" Then he's going to look at me like "please, mommy? can i pleaseeeee have the candy?" Haha....
OK, let's say that doesn't happen. How do you tip? I thought you put money in their underwear or something? And how do you tip? Is it like... here's a dollar? Here's a five. Here's a ten. Like... is there a percentage or something? LOL... What's considered to be an average tip for a non-lap dance? What about for a lap dance? How much is a lap dance?
If I WERE to get a lap dance, am I supposed to like... stare at the chick? Look at my husband? Am I supposed to be all looking at him like, "look, honey, a threesome! imagine yourself with us!" Or am I supposed to be like, "Well golly gee, ma'am, you sure do have some pretty long acrylic nails. And those clear shoes are just gorg--where did you get them?"
I'm realizing right now at this very moment that I sound like I've been quarantined in a church bell tower for the last 29 years of my life.0 -
Strip clubs are not as awkward as you might imagine. The girls are usually pretty nice... as long as you are tipping them... just make sure you are always tipping them. The dancing itself is pretty hot and entertaining... some of those girls are straight up acrobats, and you can appreciate that even if you don't get the sex appeal (which... how could you not?). Think of it as a research expedition... to get some ideas of your own.
If you don't want a lap dance, and that's where I think I'd draw the line too (because I really don't like lots of touching from anyone I don't know) then just let your husband get one. You might be more comfortable if you pick the girl out. They go around, and they chat with the guests, and you might chat with someone who makes you feel comfortable... like this is just entertainment, she doesn't want to sleep with your dude, she's just a broke pretty college kid with nice boobs and loads of body confidence who would rather work at DejaVu than Denny's.0 -
strip clubs are AWESOME for women. everyone there is happy to see you, especially the dancers. look but don't touch, UNLESS you are explicitely directed to do so (and you probably will--dancers seem to like hamming it up with girl patrons: it's a good show). if you're not comfortable leave, or find another place to sit. DON'T make yourself stay there if you are not comfortable. you may get a lot of looks and smiles from the other patrons, and from the dancers too. i think dancers like M-F couples because 1) the male is very UNLIKELY to be a (grabby, inappropriate, mouthy, etc.) problem and 2) the female is a potential source of a good girl-on-girl display, which is highly popular (in addition to the fact that a F is ALSO highly unlikely to be a problem).
+ your man gets to look at gorgeous naked women
+ your man gets to SHOW OFF HIS OWN gorgeous, STEADY woman (to the jealousy of the other male patrons: ego boost for him)
+ you get to see other men completely enraptured by other women
+ you get to see your man get excited
+ you get to BE the entertainment for a few minutes, maybe, if you (and the dancers) want to
+ you get to be admired by other men just for showing up
+ you both get the chance to stoke the fires, so to speak, for yourselves for later
if any one of the above gives you a sick feeling, DON'T DO IT. if any of the above gives you a nervous feeling, go about it with an open mind and don't feel obligated to stick with it if you get creeped out. it's not for everyone.
i like strip clubs. but then again i'm a girl, so they're not intended for me and it's a completely different experience.0 -
Strip clubs are not as awkward as you might imagine. The girls are usually pretty nice... as long as you are tipping them... just make sure you are always tipping them. The dancing itself is pretty hot and entertaining... some of those girls are straight up acrobats, and you can appreciate that even if you don't get the sex appeal (which... how could you not?). Think of it as a research expedition... to get some ideas of your own.
If you don't want a lap dance, and that's where I think I'd draw the line too (because I really don't like lots of touching from anyone I don't know) then just let your husband get one. You might be more comfortable if you pick the girl out. They go around, and they chat with the guests, and you might chat with someone who makes you feel comfortable... like this is just entertainment, she doesn't want to sleep with your dude, she's just a broke pretty college kid with nice boobs and loads of body confidence who would rather work at DejaVu than Denny's.
QFT!
ETA: I chose the wrong road...when I was young enough to pull something like that off, I got manhandled by old men at Denny's. :bigsmile:0 -
OK, so say I say "honey, let's do this. But let's skip out on the lap dances for the first time so that I can get a feel for the place."
I think he'll be OK with that. I think. That is, until some chick with giant chesticles (I sound like I'm 5, but I'm trying to keep this PG... lol) is all like "hey, baby, you like these?" Then he's going to look at me like "please, mommy? can i pleaseeeee have the candy?" Haha....
OK, let's say that doesn't happen. How do you tip? I thought you put money in their underwear or something? And how do you tip? Is it like... here's a dollar? Here's a five. Here's a ten. Like... is there a percentage or something? LOL... What's considered to be an average tip for a non-lap dance? What about for a lap dance? How much is a lap dance?
If I WERE to get a lap dance, am I supposed to like... stare at the chick? Look at my husband? Am I supposed to be all looking at him like, "look, honey, a threesome! imagine yourself with us!" Or am I supposed to be like, "Well golly gee, ma'am, you sure do have some pretty long acrylic nails. And those clear shoes are just gorg--where did you get them?"
I'm realizing right now at this very moment that I sound like I've been quarantined in a church bell tower for the last 29 years of my life.
You're wayyyyy over thinking this.
Go, have fun...if you don't have fun, don't go again.0
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