Hanging out with my husband at...a strip club?
Replies
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2ndI just don't see this ending well.
3rd, you sound really uncomfortable with this and the fact that you think you'll have to get drunk to tolerate it just screams disaster
she also sounds really interested. Of course she might be nervous going in having never been to one the only ideas she probably has about them come from tv ect.
That really is it. In general, I'm not an uptight person-- but I really feel like I'm going to stick out like a sore thumb. I just want to know the ropes before I dive in. I think I'm going to take multiple peoples' advice and just visit for the first time and get a feel for the place and how things work. I'm only uncomfortable when I don't understand how things work. Observing will help to make that all better. Then, if I feel like it, I'll go in a second time. I really think I just have first time jitters.
just don't throw loose change at the strippers,and you will be fine.
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lol at u guys cheering her on. i bet her husband is thinking "we're gonna go have fun looking at hot girls" not "my wife is gonna get shtty drunk and yell at girls trying to sell me lap dances "0
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I should also add that a lot of what I was saying had an intentional humorous, dramatic spin to it. No, I'm not going to pull out my cellphone. I'm not that dumb. LOL
Also, I'm kidding about the being so drunk I'll be unconscious thing. I was being silly. I mean I will need a few drinks to calm my nerves. I don't really think I'm going to get arrested for being drunk in public. I was just joking.
Clarifying for those who needed clarification. lol0 -
2ndI just don't see this ending well.
ROFL... I kind of see this with me ending up getting arrested for public intoxication as I run down the road with a bottle still in my hand screaming and crying for some reasons that I really can't put my finger on. Bahahaha...
I'll be OK. I think I'll just have to be really drunk. Alcohol will be an integral part of my stripper induction evening.
I'm certain this is not going to end well.0 -
lol at u guys cheering her on. i bet her husband is thinking "we're gonna go have fun looking at hot girls" not "my wife is gonna get shtty drunk and yell at girls trying to sell me lap dances "
I'm not going to get ****ty drunk. I plan on being completely passed out by the time lap dances occur. Hopefully I won't choke on my own vomit. Thanks!0 -
2ndI just don't see this ending well.
ROFL... I kind of see this with me ending up getting arrested for public intoxication as I run down the road with a bottle still in my hand screaming and crying for some reasons that I really can't put my finger on. Bahahaha...
I'll be OK. I think I'll just have to be really drunk. Alcohol will be an integral part of my stripper induction evening.
I'm certain this is not going to end well.
It will end just fine. Hopefully my husband won't get the stripper pregnant. I hate it when that happens.0 -
how funny you posted this topic ;D My bf and I have been playing with the same idea for ever now. I really rehhheheheally wana go to one, I'm just afraid that instead of having a good time I'll start feeling all insecure and get sad lol. Just go and have some fun I think it'd be an awesome experience, some pretty girls, special attention, and a cool experience for you both. And at the very least you'll have a funny story to tell people ;D Let us know how it went 0
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how funny you posted this topic ;D My bf and I have been playing with the same idea for ever now. I really rehhheheheally wana go to one, I'm just afraid that instead of having a good time I'll start feeling all insecure and get sad lol. Just go and have some fun I think it'd be an awesome experience, some pretty girls, special attention, and a cool experience for you both. And at the very least you'll have a funny story to tell people ;D Let us know how it went
Thanks! It'll be a learning experience, that's for sure. 0 -
2ndI just don't see this ending well.
ROFL... I kind of see this with me ending up getting arrested for public intoxication as I run down the road with a bottle still in my hand screaming and crying for some reasons that I really can't put my finger on. Bahahaha...
I'll be OK. I think I'll just have to be really drunk. Alcohol will be an integral part of my stripper induction evening.
I'm certain this is not going to end well.
It will end just fine. Hopefully my husband won't get the stripper pregnant. I hate it when that happens.
:laugh:0 -
2ndI just don't see this ending well.
ROFL... I kind of see this with me ending up getting arrested for public intoxication as I run down the road with a bottle still in my hand screaming and crying for some reasons that I really can't put my finger on. Bahahaha...
I'll be OK. I think I'll just have to be really drunk. Alcohol will be an integral part of my stripper induction evening.
I'm certain this is not going to end well.
It will end just fine. Hopefully my husband won't get the stripper pregnant. I hate it when that happens.
:laugh: too funny0 -
Just relax! Have a couple of drinks beforehand and all will be fine. My first time I was reallllly nervous, so I just ended up critquing their performances on stage and trying to decide which one looked the most bored! Some of the ladies are pretty impressive dancers...focus on that instead of the nekkidness and you'll be fine!
As for the lapdances thing....I giggled EVERY time. The dancers were cool with it. I think they think it's endearing or something. They also direct you what to do, just let them know it's your first one! Or, just try to have an actual conversation with them while they are giving you the dance. It gets the attention off of you, and you might learn something interesting. I've learned quite a few tricks of the trade that way. They LOVE talking about themselves, or about a made-up version of themselves.
A word of caution though....you will probably get a bit of attention. I don't know how many times I have had my chesticles (as you called them) grabbed as the dancer is just randomly walking by...just don't sit in an aisle and I think you will be ok! This may happen while tipping, too, so be prepared!0 -
I love going to stripclubs! The girls I usually point out are usually the fun ones and have a great attitude. I haven't gone with my husband yet but I have with previous relationships and male friends. Going to them never had any effect on our relationship. Relax and have fun and don't do anything you don't want to do. And YOU pick the girls for dances. Don't let him. He should be glad that you are agreeing and going along with it if you are a bit uneasy.
And laughing is alright! It is supposed to be fun. The only time I had a bad time at a strip club was some weird meth head stripper was telling me she would give us half off dances because her house burned down and needed money. WTF? I declined and we skedaddled the hell out of there.0 -
I have been to male and female strip clubs and I will take the females any day of the week. I was more uncomfortable with the male lap dance than I was with the female lap dance. The men actually put your hands on their bodies. That was uncomfortable. The females (at least in the clubs I have been to) ask you to sit on your hands so that helps with the touching aspect. And the woman who danced for me actually told me that SHE was uncomfortable. That put me at ease a lot. I think you should go. You might like it.0
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Jeez, if you are so uptight about going, why don't you just stay home and leave the strippers for the people who want to be there?
Fixed.0 -
OK, so say I say "honey, let's do this. But let's skip out on the lap dances for the first time so that I can get a feel for the place."
I think he'll be OK with that. I think. That is, until some chick with giant chesticles (I sound like I'm 5, but I'm trying to keep this PG... lol) is all like "hey, baby, you like these?" Then he's going to look at me like "please, mommy? can i pleaseeeee have the candy?" Haha....
OK, let's say that doesn't happen. How do you tip? I thought you put money in their underwear or something? And how do you tip? Is it like... here's a dollar? Here's a five. Here's a ten. Like... is there a percentage or something? LOL... What's considered to be an average tip for a non-lap dance? What about for a lap dance? How much is a lap dance?
If I WERE to get a lap dance, am I supposed to like... stare at the chick? Look at my husband? Am I supposed to be all looking at him like, "look, honey, a threesome! imagine yourself with us!" Or am I supposed to be like, "Well golly gee, ma'am, you sure do have some pretty long acrylic nails. And those clear shoes are just gorg--where did you get them?"
I'm realizing right now at this very moment that I sound like I've been quarantined in a church bell tower for the last 29 years of my life.
I'd personally put the money in my cleavage and make the stripper take it out with her teeth, make them work for it, but that is just me :drinker:
Go have some fun, don't over think **** 0 -
1. Why is he pressuring you to do something you are OBVIOUSLY very uncomfortable with...what kind of love is that?
2. If you are that uncomfortable about it, DON'T GO...NEVER DO ANYTHING because you feel pressured into it.
3. What kind of advice would you give your daughter if she asked you the same question? Give that same advice to yourself.
4. I dated a guy once that was into that...I actually went with him and DID NOT enjoy it at all..afterward, he began to try to pressure me into a THREESOME....I WAS DONE!!0 -
I went with my Ex Husband and we always had a great time. Dont knock it till you try it!0
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Interesting...he's your EX-HUSBAND.0
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Me and my girl just went last night for the first time. It was different at first for her but my friend had his girlfriend there too so she helped her get adjusted. She liked it. Don't worry about anything, just go and have fun. They might put their titties in your face or whatever so just be cool and have fun. I was gonna buy my girlfriend a lap dance but ran outta money, but she wants one next time we go. As long as your husbands respectful, just go have fun that's what it's all about. Maybe have a girlfriend there with you for your first time.0
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Interesting...he's your EX-HUSBAND.
How incredibly judgmental of you. You have NO idea why they broke up. Just because you're a prude doesn't mean you have to talk down to others, sweetie.0 -
So call me a prude, but I don't see it ending well either.
Ask yourself WHY are you considering this?
To please your husband?
Because things are getting boring in the bedroom?
Does he not give you the attention you need, so you are feeling like you aren't enough for him?
Do you have an attraction to the opposite sex?
What are your fears of going?
Are you afraid your husband will like the other girls better? Compare you to them?
Are you afraid you might like it and it make you question your sexuality?
Are you afraid that your husband might take it a step further and want to bring a girl into your bed with you?
Are you afraid your husband might want to take it further WITHOUT you, but just another girl?
By agreeing to go with him, you are giving your husband permission to look at other women, mostly naked, and get excited over them. That is a very big line to cross.
It is a very short trip for him to go without you, then you don't know what he is doing while you are not there.
It is a short trip for him to suggest bringing another woman into your bed. Are you ok with that?
The next step is having another woman in his bed without you. Are you ok with that?
If you are this nervous, and feel you can only do this with alcohol, then you know in your heart that this is not for you.
Listen to your heart, not others on here who are telling you that it is ok.
Have an open conversation with your husband about WHY he feels the need to do this, and how it makes you feel.
My opinion may not be the 'cool' answer, but I have been in a marriage where I compromised my principles just to please my husband, and it did not go well at all. That line keeps getting pushed further and further.
It took years for me to get out of that relationship and to repair my shattered self-esteem.
Now I have been married for 15 yrs to a man who respects me and our marriage. We have an amazing intimate life that grows better every day. Neither of us has to worry about the other one wanting something different, or needing something to 'shake things up'. He would never disrespect me by taking me to a strip club.
This may sound judgmental to some of you, but it is just MY experience and views on marriage. 'Forsaking all others' means something to us.
Once you cross that line, it cannot be uncrossed.0 -
lol, this makes my dayjeez if u are so uptight abt going why dont u just stay home and leave the strippers for the ppl who want to be there
*about
*don't
*people
You should make more duck faces.0 -
Disaster waiting to happen
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So call me a prude, but I don't see it ending well either.
Ask yourself WHY are you considering this?
To please your husband?
Because things are getting boring in the bedroom?
Does he not give you the attention you need, so you are feeling like you aren't enough for him?
Do you have an attraction to the opposite sex?
What are your fears of going?
Are you afraid your husband will like the other girls better? Compare you to them?
Are you afraid you might like it and it make you question your sexuality?
Are you afraid that your husband might take it a step further and want to bring a girl into your bed with you?
Are you afraid your husband might want to take it further WITHOUT you, but just another girl?
By agreeing to go with him, you are giving your husband permission to look at other women, mostly naked, and get excited over them. That is a very big line to cross.
It is a very short trip for him to go without you, then you don't know what he is doing while you are not there.
It is a short trip for him to suggest bringing another woman into your bed. Are you ok with that?
The next step is having another woman in his bed without you. Are you ok with that?
If you are this nervous, and feel you can only do this with alcohol, then you know in your heart that this is not for you.
Listen to your heart, not others on here who are telling you that it is ok.
Have an open conversation with your husband about WHY he feels the need to do this, and how it makes you feel.
My opinion may not be the 'cool' answer, but I have been in a marriage where I compromised my principles just to please my husband, and it did not go well at all. That line keeps getting pushed further and further.
It took years for me to get out of that relationship and to repair my shattered self-esteem.
Now I have been married for 15 yrs to a man who respects me and our marriage. We have an amazing intimate life that grows better every day. Neither of us has to worry about the other one wanting something different, or needing something to 'shake things up'. He would never disrespect me by taking me to a strip club.
This may sound judgmental to some of you, but it is just MY experience and views on marriage. 'Forsaking all others' means something to us.
Once you cross that line, it cannot be uncrossed.
it's different for everyone. don't get me wrong, i agree with you. and yes this can be complicated for some0 -
2ndI just don't see this ending well.
ROFL... I kind of see this with me ending up getting arrested for public intoxication as I run down the road with a bottle still in my hand screaming and crying for some reasons that I really can't put my finger on. Bahahaha...
I'll be OK. I think I'll just have to be really drunk. Alcohol will be an integral part of my stripper induction evening.
This last post gives you your answer. You are trying too hard to talk yourself into something you really don't want to do.0 -
I've been once before with my boyfriend and some friends, and I had a blast! We actually might go for a second time tonight
However, there are a couple of rules that I have:
I don't care about him looking or tipping, or even putting cash in a g-string. But lap dances for him are a no-go.
He also can't go to a strip club without me being there.
That's about it. Other than that, we drink and have a great time.
Going into a strip club can be nerve wracking at first, so that's normal. However, if it is something that really unsettles/frightens you, then you shouldn't force yourself to do it. Trying new things is great, but you have to do what's right for you.
Best of luck!0 -
Strip clubs are a fine couples activity. Everyone is nervous the first time. It's something you won't know how you'll react until you're there. Just stick together, maintain open and HONEST communication, and enjoy the moment. You're there as a couple, you leave as a couple. It's basically a bar with half-naked people walking around.
And, kudos to you for being open to new experiences. Even if you hate it, you'll be able to say you tried it. :flowerforyou: 0 -
I have only been to a strip club once, with my then-husband and some friends. It was completely spur of the moment, we had been to a hockey game and the arena was right near the strip club where our friends had been several times. I was kinda freaked out initially, I mean, I was raised in a very strict Baptist home and I figured lightning was gonna strike me for sure...
BUT it was fun! Our friends knew some of the girls, and arranged for a lap dance for my husband by one girl they knew and liked. For me it was hilarious because my husband was so obviously uncomfortable because I was there LOL! I was fascinated by the girls, their incredible bodies, their grace and athleticism, and all while wearing 5" stilletos...
I personally was enthralled by the girl in the lobby, she was in a huge champagne glass doing all kinds of moves, she was beautiful and had amazing tattoos. I tipped her well on the way out the door. I don't remember what any of the other girls specifically looked like, including the one who gave husband a lap dance, but I can still clearly picture the girl in the champagne glass. I didn't feel a sexual attraction to her, she was just so beautiful, like exquisite art.
My only regret about the whole night?? Considering we had just come from a hockey game, I felt quite overdressed in a turtleneck, jeans and boots LOL!!! Wished I at least had a blouse on so I could unbutton a little!!
I probably would not go again, this was several years ago and my life is different now and I am far more committed to my Christianity and I don't think a strip club is where I want to be for entertainment,** but I enjoyed the experience at the time and I don't ever look back and go "I wish I could unsee that".
(**I would however, go see Thunder Down Under in a heartbeat and deal with the hypocrisy of this statement later..... :laugh: )0 -
I am going to a strip club with my hubby tonight and have been several times in the past. I am not sure what state you are in, but here the girls have to wear bikinis while they are giving lap dances, which helps, to not make things so uncomfortable about bits and pieces.... hehe. I enjoy it, the girls are always really nice, I mean, they are working for tips! And if they see a couple they are usually going to lavish much more attention on the female- so be prepared for that! Laughing is fine, I think giggling is a normal nervous reaction, I know I spend a lot of the night doing it. I don't get jealous about lap dances for him, because I know these girls surely aren't going home with him :-) But just make sure you're comfortable, you are going out to have some drinks and have a great time- not to feel jealous or upset with your spouse. Plus if you start to make convo with the girls its usually really interesting conversation. I personally would recommend it! Go tonight and we'll be in the same place "virtually" lol0
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