Someone help me :'(

The most important thing is realizing that you're not going to change your body overnight. It will take a good amount of time, and hard work, and a lifestyle change. Don't view your new diet as a short term thing to get the weight off, this has to be the new way you eat now. Good luck

Feel free to add me. I feel your pain. I've gained substantial weight since especially since getting married. It just kinda creeps up on you so fast! Keep strong and take it day by day. Its hard but we can do it.

I felt EXACTLY like this when I started... I woke up one morning, wanted to use some jeans I hadn't touched for ages and they didn't fit. I couldn't believe it. Though about it all day and cried so much.
Got home and cried even more and my fiance was a star, saying he'd loved me no matter what, but I just couldn't believe I'd let myself get to that point. And so I decided. I HAD to change, I DESERVED a better body. So I started working towards it. Had bad times, specially when I was having exams in uni it was all about chocolate and redbull and for three weeks it was just bad choices and not caring, because I needed to deal with the stress from exams. But as soon as they were over, I picked it up right where I left it and now I'm fully back at it. I also allow myself the occasional treat that usually comes in the form of a beer, a slice of the fiance's pizza, or a sort of healthy chocolatey treat in moderation when I'm really craving it.
But that's ok, it's slow but steady. Last night I went for a run with my fiance and we were out for 55min! (sure, we walked some of it, but still!), and today I'm treating myself to a tofu burguer (:

that's how it goes, slow, we learn to make better choices, and one day, soon, you'll think "I never want to give up this lifestyle". I started this as a "let's get rid of the fat so I can be ready for the bikini" kind of thing, and now I'm full on "let's be healthy" (: You'll get there too, just hang in there and keep at it! Don't ever stop and remember that NO FOOD tastes better than the feeling of accomplishment (: STAY STRONG!

I relate to your post so much, Cassie, it's so easy to let things slide a little bit and before you know it you've got used to being bigger than you were and it's then like steering a cruise ship to turn things around, by which time you're a little bit bigger again.

Of course we want things to move quickly once we've made the decision to change. I used to get so miserable when my body wouldn't co-operate to drop pounds just like that. You know that it can't do that but still you expect it. I know exactly how that feels. It's nice to read that you're feeling better already. I do too - even after a couple of days of keeping at it, I feel so much better and I use that as my motivation - that and my fab MFP friends here.

In reality, you wouldn't want to drop all the weight you want to in a drastic way because it would tell on your skin, your 'wellness' and the way you feel when you look in the mirror. You might not see the changes but your body is making them just the same. Keep going in the direction you are and you can't fail to achieve the results you want.

:flowerforyou: ... it's hard. Being fat is hard. Pick your hard.

(that's not my quotation, it's the best one I've ever read though).

You can do this!

A couple of thoughts. Everybody that's overweight feels that way....disgusted with themselves. You've got the right mindset and motivation to succeed. People only make changes with their lives when they reach that "I'VE HAD IT!" moment. When you get sick and tired of being sick and tired - you're where you need to be to make changes. So don't beat yourself up. I would make this suggestion, the weight gain and lack of care about what you were eating doesn't seem to me like it's the cause, but rather the symptom of something. I would do some reflection and find what the impetus was that made you compensate with food. Another thought, your fiancé is marrying you - the person - not you the number on a scale or a body image. He fell in love with you as a person. You haven't changed; your body image did. You're still the same person he fell in love with and you still deserve to be loved. If he left you because you gained 40 lbs. then I'd say you were better off without him. Serious weight gain is no different, in my opinion, than a serious medical issue. You wouldn't expect him to leave you if you got cancer (God forbid). Those marriage vows are in sickness and in health. I'd say his continued devotion is a good sign. My suggestion would be to get him to be a part of the transition back to a healthier you. My wife and I are currently overweight and we both decided together that we were going to get back into shape. We have been rather like each other's accountability partners with helping to make sure we eat well, stay motivated, etc. In the end, your experience and your emotions sound very similar to mine so I completely empathize with you. The fact that you had the courage to post this is a huge step towards making a chance. Simply put, I got tired of being in a prison of flesh and I'm breaking out! Turn your disgust into fuel and use it to keep the motivational fires going. And when you experience hiccups along the way, because you will, don't relent. Be dogged in your determination and you'll succeed! :happy:

I have used this program in the past but fell off the bandwagon and gained 40 pounds over a year. I can't believe I have damaged my body this much. I didn't care about what I ate and NEVER worked out. I stepped on the scale three weeks ago and saw the highest number ever: 208. I have never been over 200. I still can't believe it.

It's probably worth taking some time to reflect on why you did this to yourself. Not caring about yourself, not exercising etc. 40 pounds in one year is a staggering amount of weight and I'm sure it didn't all pile on one day. Your body must have felt terrible at times but you didn't respect it.

I think it's the only real way that you can really begin to accept yourself and your body, move on and lose the weight and get fitter for good. The feelings of disgust, disappointment etc can motivate you this time round to lose the weight again, but what's to stop you from 'falling off the wagon' again in the future?

Yo-yo dieting is a strong feature on this site with people coming back two/three/four times and everyone saying 'don't worry, start again', without addressing why these diets fail so often.

Your body is a temple. Listen to it and respect it instead of loathing it. It doesn't mean you can't eat sweets or icecream, just treat it with the respect that you have for a treasured object.

First, take some body measurements. Sounds silly, I know! But, weight is only one metric to use to measure success. As lean muscle is around 5x denser than fat, at some point your weight loss may "plateau" while your body continues to change. I did not take body measurements when I started and I regret it! I suggest weighing yourself and taking measurements once per week. Same day & time every week. Your weight will go up and down during the day and week. By comparing a week to week value from the same day & time you will be able to track your progress.

Second, make a commitment to a life style change. The commitment is to yourself, no one else! From the moment you make that promise to yourself, LIVE IT EVERY DAY! There will be challenges and there will be times when you stumble. These are just moments to reflect, adapt adjust and re-commit! Too often I see on this sight people who say that have a goal them premise that goal with things like "As long as I can still have my cola" or "How much beer can I have and still meet my calories?" If you are truly committed, forget about what and how you lived before you made the choice to change. That life style is what got you to this point in your life.

Now, make a plan. Start simple, include exercise to your ability 3x + per week. Start with walking if that is all you are able. Include a change in what you eat. My first step was to cut out soft drinks (pop). Now follow you plan for at least 3 weeks. Until it becomes a habit. Then adjust with another change, increase the duration, frequency and or intensity of your exercise. And further adapt your food. Remove another poor choice and add in a healthy choice. Keep repeating this process every 3-4 weeks.

Drink lots of water! I cannot explain why this works! But it does! Take a drink as soon as you get up and more before every time you eat. along with lots while you exercise!

Lastly, log your eating every day! Keep this private if you want, but log everything, everyday! Studies have shown that the success rate for people who count calories is much higher than for those who don't. I found that logging my food gave me a sense of the cost of my food choices. It helped me slowly curve my food consumption down to a healthy and sustainable volume. Without any major pain or suffering.

If you want, send me a friend request. I will add.

Note: I am further down the road than you are. My goals have changed from weight loss to fitness. So, we are not in the same place at the same time. But, I have been where you are at! At one point I stepped on my home scale and it spun around to past the max of 275lbs. At that time, I dreaded power failures because I would be out of breath and sweaty walking up 3 flights of stairs to my office. Today, I weigh 190lbs and I am training for my first marathon. Weight loss, health and fitness are possible! You can get there!

All the best on your journey!

I know how you feel. I feel like our stories have some similarities. I lost 120 lbs 12 years ago and 2 years ago, I allowed myself to regain 30ish lbs. I was so depressed/in denial/and then really upset when I realized how far I let myself slip. I went from a size 10 pants size at goal(I'm a pear shape) to a super tight size 16W pants. I was so ashamed having to shop in the plus size section as I knew I had let myself. January 2nd I found mfp and started exercising and I'm now within 5-10 lbs of my goal! I'm wearing size 10 shorts now that I wore at my goal. They are not as loose on me (yet). You can do it! If I can, you can. Take it slow. Don't expect to lose it all at once. Celebrate as you go. What helped me is to concentrate on increments like maybe every 5 lbs or even pants sizes in between your goal weight.