help me write a weightloss book so i can become filthy rich!
Options
BrainyBurro
Posts: 6,129 Member
in Chit-Chat
i think i'll need to focus on things nobody else has focused on... so i need your help and suggestions.
1) fruit or vegetable that has never previously been used as the central "super food" of any other diet.
2) some unusual or bizarre physical movement/effort which can be hailed as miraculously putting a person into their "prime fat burning zone". (note - no suggestions of prancing + walking, since that has recently been taken by another weight loss expert. :grumble: )
3) i will need some food or food group to blame fo society's obesity issue. again, this must be something nobody else has previously blamed, so gluten, carbs, dietary fat, foods that cavemen don't eat, etc. are all off the table.
4) finally, i need a catchy name for my plan. something that sounds vaguely "science-y".
i'd really like to get this book written and sent off to a publisher this week, since i'm not getting any younger and i really, really want a malibu beach house.
here's what i'm working with so far, but i can change any of these if i get a better suggestion:
1) pumpkin
2) one-handed somersaults (this is good because it implies a tie-in with crossfit!)
3) green foods (perhaps because of the chlorophyll, but i can use any other vaguely confusing reason that most people won't understand)
4) ???
here's what's in it for you. 5% off on my book and you'll get to namedrop my name at cocktail parties and claim to have known me before i got famous.
also, does anyone here know Dr. Oz personally? because he will be a critical part of my marketing strategy and i'll need to contact either he or his TV show producers very soon.
note to the moderators - this thread is totally NOT sarcasm. absolutely not even slightly sarcastic. it's totally legit. true story.
1) fruit or vegetable that has never previously been used as the central "super food" of any other diet.
2) some unusual or bizarre physical movement/effort which can be hailed as miraculously putting a person into their "prime fat burning zone". (note - no suggestions of prancing + walking, since that has recently been taken by another weight loss expert. :grumble: )
3) i will need some food or food group to blame fo society's obesity issue. again, this must be something nobody else has previously blamed, so gluten, carbs, dietary fat, foods that cavemen don't eat, etc. are all off the table.
4) finally, i need a catchy name for my plan. something that sounds vaguely "science-y".
i'd really like to get this book written and sent off to a publisher this week, since i'm not getting any younger and i really, really want a malibu beach house.
here's what i'm working with so far, but i can change any of these if i get a better suggestion:
1) pumpkin
2) one-handed somersaults (this is good because it implies a tie-in with crossfit!)
3) green foods (perhaps because of the chlorophyll, but i can use any other vaguely confusing reason that most people won't understand)
4) ???
here's what's in it for you. 5% off on my book and you'll get to namedrop my name at cocktail parties and claim to have known me before i got famous.
also, does anyone here know Dr. Oz personally? because he will be a critical part of my marketing strategy and i'll need to contact either he or his TV show producers very soon.
note to the moderators - this thread is totally NOT sarcasm. absolutely not even slightly sarcastic. it's totally legit. true story.
0
Replies
-
for the name, what about the 31 Day Shred by Hillian Michaels?0
-
1. Jicama
2. Squatting for every restroom break
3. Water is to blame because of all the minerals that build up in our bodies and need to be detoxed out
4. "Everything You Know is Wrong: the Science of how Water Keeps Us Fat"0 -
1. Jicama
2. Squatting for every restroom break
3. Water is to blame because of all the minerals that build up in our bodies and need to be detoxed out
4. "Everything You Know is Wrong: the Science of how Water Keeps Us Fat"
promising... but i think dihydrogen monoxide sounds more confusing than water, thus more credible.0 -
for the name, what about the 31 Day Shred by Hillian Michaels?
or maybe.. "4.4285 Week Shred"
numbers with decimal places sound more "science-y".0 -
promising... but i think dihydrogen monoxide sounds more confusing than water, thus more credible.
I happen to know that squatting while releasing dihydrogen monoxide assists in moving the fluids and thus the toxins more efficiently through our bodies.0 -
You better get an agent, I feel like Dr. Oz might be contacting you soon.0
-
1. Grapes. And wine counts.
2. Sleeping. There is enough science indicating that sleep is very necessary. And there is research showing that Americans do not get enough sleep.
3. Mexican food in general.
4. The Lean Mean Sleep Burning Machine0 -
In reference to the fat burning zone:
Since we know the slower we move the more fat percentage we burn, why don't you advocate staying in bed? Perhaps some dreams of calisthenics would work well, or crossfit dreams? You could release a companion audiobook that you listen to at bedtime that helps you dream about exercise. Then sell a special line of Brainy Burro Apparel that helps you stay immobilized for maximum fat burning. I'm thinking a straitjacket in an array of colors. You should promote the green one as environmentally friendly.0 -
In reference to the fat burning zone:
Since we know the slower we move the more fat percentage we burn, why don't you advocate staying in bed? Perhaps some dreams of calisthenics would work well, or crossfit dreams? You could release a companion audiobook that you listen to at bedtime that helps you dream about exercise. Then sell a special line of Brainy Burro Apparel that helps you stay immobilized for maximum fat burning. I'm thinking a straitjacket in an array of colors. You should promote the green one as environmentally friendly.
how about, "Sleep Away Obesity: The Scientific Benefits of Self-Induced Comas".
i could sell millions of books with a title like that.
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ ka-ching!0 -
The human race developed as a bunch of scavengers. We thrived by stealing from and outsmarting other more fierce predators. All of our diet problems can be linked back (very vaguely) to us deviating from that hereditary model. So the most healthy diet for humans is to eat whatever you can steal from others. If neighbor is grilling a steak, you pop over the fence, grab the piece of meat and make a run for it. The running and fence climbing alone will make you fit and lean. Tell your friend that he should buy you lunch and you will return the favor, and then end that friendship.
The best part of this diet is that it is practically free. Save the money you would normally spend on food for a few emergency room visits and the occasional bail bondsman. But other than that, your wallet will get fat as you get lean.
I call it the Anthropological Diet. Of course plagiarizing my research fits perfectly in with this philosophy.0 -
The human race developed as a bunch of scavengers. We thrived by stealing from and outsmarting other more fierce predators. All of our diet problems can be linked back (very vaguely) to us deviating from that hereditary model. So the most healthy diet for humans is to eat whatever you can steal from others. If neighbor is grilling a steak, you pop over the fence, grab the piece of meat and make a run for it. The running and fence climbing alone will make you fit and lean. Tell your friend that he should buy you lunch and you will return the favor, and then end that friendship.
The best part of this diet is that it is practically free. Save the money you would normally spend on food for a few emergency room visits and the occasional bail bondsman. But other than that, your wallet will get fat as you get lean.
I call it the Anthropological Diet. Of course plagiarizing my research fits perfectly in with this philosophy.
"Stealing Your Way To The Perfect Six Pack"
i could sell that book.0 -
The human race developed as a bunch of scavengers. We thrived by stealing from and outsmarting other more fierce predators. All of our diet problems can be linked back (very vaguely) to us deviating from that hereditary model. So the most healthy diet for humans is to eat whatever you can steal from others. If neighbor is grilling a steak, you pop over the fence, grab the piece of meat and make a run for it. The running and fence climbing alone will make you fit and lean. Tell your friend that he should buy you lunch and you will return the favor, and then end that friendship.
The best part of this diet is that it is practically free. Save the money you would normally spend on food for a few emergency room visits and the occasional bail bondsman. But other than that, your wallet will get fat as you get lean.
I call it the Anthropological Diet. Of course plagiarizing my research fits perfectly in with this philosophy.
Since it's free, they can afford to pay a monthly subscription to your "proven system". Make it one of those contractual subscription that is practically impossible to get out of.0 -
The human race developed as a bunch of scavengers. We thrived by stealing from and outsmarting other more fierce predators. All of our diet problems can be linked back (very vaguely) to us deviating from that hereditary model. So the most healthy diet for humans is to eat whatever you can steal from others. If neighbor is grilling a steak, you pop over the fence, grab the piece of meat and make a run for it. The running and fence climbing alone will make you fit and lean. Tell your friend that he should buy you lunch and you will return the favor, and then end that friendship.
The best part of this diet is that it is practically free. Save the money you would normally spend on food for a few emergency room visits and the occasional bail bondsman. But other than that, your wallet will get fat as you get lean.
I call it the Anthropological Diet. Of course plagiarizing my research fits perfectly in with this philosophy.
Since it's free, they can afford to pay a monthly subscription to your "proven system". Make it one of those contractual subscription that is practically impossible to get out of.
Make it to where you have to call to cancel, but don't put a contact number on the website.
0 -
The human race developed as a bunch of scavengers. We thrived by stealing from and outsmarting other more fierce predators. All of our diet problems can be linked back (very vaguely) to us deviating from that hereditary model. So the most healthy diet for humans is to eat whatever you can steal from others. If neighbor is grilling a steak, you pop over the fence, grab the piece of meat and make a run for it. The running and fence climbing alone will make you fit and lean. Tell your friend that he should buy you lunch and you will return the favor, and then end that friendship.
The best part of this diet is that it is practically free. Save the money you would normally spend on food for a few emergency room visits and the occasional bail bondsman. But other than that, your wallet will get fat as you get lean.
I call it the Anthropological Diet. Of course plagiarizing my research fits perfectly in with this philosophy.
Since it's free, they can afford to pay a monthly subscription to your "proven system". Make it one of those contractual subscription that is practically impossible to get out of.
ooh! oooh! ...you could team up with one of those gym chains that force people into 1-year membership contracts even though most people stop going by mid-February.0 -
The human race developed as a bunch of scavengers. We thrived by stealing from and outsmarting other more fierce predators. All of our diet problems can be linked back (very vaguely) to us deviating from that hereditary model. So the most healthy diet for humans is to eat whatever you can steal from others. If neighbor is grilling a steak, you pop over the fence, grab the piece of meat and make a run for it. The running and fence climbing alone will make you fit and lean. Tell your friend that he should buy you lunch and you will return the favor, and then end that friendship.
The best part of this diet is that it is practically free. Save the money you would normally spend on food for a few emergency room visits and the occasional bail bondsman. But other than that, your wallet will get fat as you get lean.
I call it the Anthropological Diet. Of course plagiarizing my research fits perfectly in with this philosophy.
Since it's free, they can afford to pay a monthly subscription to your "proven system". Make it one of those contractual subscription that is practically impossible to get out of.
ooh! oooh! ...you could team up with one of those gym chains that force people into 1-year membership contracts even though most people stop going by mid-February.
Hellooooo Golds Gym!0 -
You should probably have a celebrity on the payroll so you can say they owe all their success to your book. Since you aren't rich (yet), perhaps a celebrity impersonator would be more in your budget. In Las Vegas there's a troupe of celebrity impersonators consisting of all drag queens. Perhaps one of them would be willing to work with you.0
-
You should probably have a celebrity on the payroll so you can say they owe all their success to your book. Since you aren't rich (yet), perhaps a celebrity impersonator would be more in your budget. In Las Vegas there's a troupe of celebrity impersonators consisting of all drag queens. Perhaps one of them would be willing to work with you.
i think a Jean-Claude Van Damme impersonator would be more in my price range. he's still A list, right?0 -
I can do a pretty good Sean Connery if that can help.
"Buy thish diet plan or you are a big fat shishy."0 -
The Most Interesting Man in the World could endorse your book!
"I don't always follow diets. But when I do...I do Brainy Burro's"0 -
I would buy it0
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 391.9K Introduce Yourself
- 43.5K Getting Started
- 259.8K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.7K Food and Nutrition
- 47.3K Recipes
- 232.3K Fitness and Exercise
- 398 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.4K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 152.8K Motivation and Support
- 7.9K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.4K MyFitnessPal Information
- 23 News and Announcements
- 976 Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.4K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions