Hanging out with my husband at...a strip club?

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  • NoeHead
    NoeHead Posts: 516 Member
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    have a great time :) some strip clubs have laws not to touch the strippers and usually you cant help but laugh just because...if he wants to get a lap dance you can either watch or look around, no biggie. props to you for being awesome btw!!
  • shadowkat57
    shadowkat57 Posts: 151 Member
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    I'd be so embarrassed the whole time, but I'd love to go to a strip club with my OH. A friend of ours is a stripper, she's one of the smartest, most feminist people I know, has a degree in philosophy - got paid $500 to talk philosophy instead of giving a lap dance to a dude once.
    I know I'd get all inspired and do some very dorky versions of sexy strip dances once I got home...
  • onwarddownward
    onwarddownward Posts: 1,683 Member
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    I guess my question would be: how open would he be to go to a male strip club, have a lap dance by a male stripper and watch you get one by a man?
  • rosemaryhon
    rosemaryhon Posts: 507 Member
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    I guess my question would be: how open would he be to go to a male strip club, have a lap dance by a male stripper and watch you get one by a man?


    This ^^.

    And too I've been wondering how her husband would feel if she wanted HIM to get a lap dance by a male dancer? Would us wives just expect our husbands to have a few drinks and let another man gyrate on him for our pleasure?

    Cool if one wants to do it, not cool if one feels they need to get drunk to engage in behavior they're just not into (such as a straight spouse egged on to homosexual play). I just don't see any straight guys I've known going along with "just relax, have a few drinks, it'll be fun to have another man rub on you" ;)

    Strikes me this wouldn't be considered so much fun in reverse and thus is a double standard.
  • MexicanOsmosis
    MexicanOsmosis Posts: 382 Member
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    By agreeing to go with him, you are giving your husband permission to look at other women, mostly naked, and get excited over them. That is a very big line to cross.

    Newsflash, he will do it with or without permission, but go ahead and keep thinking that people can fight biology.

    Oh no, don't look at the naked wimmens!!!
    Now I have been married for 15 yrs to a man who respects me and our marriage. We have an amazing intimate life that grows better every day. Neither of us has to worry about the other one wanting something different, or needing something to 'shake things up'. He would never disrespect me by taking me to a strip club.

    Disrespect? It's entertainment, just that.
    This may sound judgmental to some of you, but it is just MY experience and views on marriage. 'Forsaking all others' means something to us.
    Once you cross that line, it cannot be uncrossed.

    No, it doesn't sound judgmental, it IS judgmental.

    That said, it wouldn't be something for you, so you don't go. Those that would go, will go. If she's curious about it, then who cares if she goes.
  • LATeagno
    LATeagno Posts: 620 Member
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    Sorry to bring up an old post, but I just want to say I was never against the idea of doing this. LOL. I never said I didn't want to-- I totally want to. I'm just not comfortable with the atmosphere and have no idea what is expected of me there. I also don't want it to become a "thing" where he wants to do it every weekend. That's the only issue I have with this-- I have no problems otherwise.

    Thanks to everyone for the supportive comments! :)
  • maecrocker
    maecrocker Posts: 56
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    Okay, in New Orleans, I made my husband take me to a strip club because I wanted to see what it was all about. He was shocked but you only live once. I went, I saw, I tipped, I responded to the girl who asked me if I wanted to watch her give my husband a lap dance "No thank you but here is a $10 bill for your efforts." My husband looked relieved (at least I think it was relief). Then we went back to our hotel and ..... I don't need to go again but it was interesting to say the least.
  • LATeagno
    LATeagno Posts: 620 Member
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    PS: I just realized the post WAS actually still going. Whoops. ;)

    Oh, and re: disrespect, my hubby and I have a great relationship. He wouldn't pressure me into this if I told him I was absolutely against it. I'm NOT absolutely against it. I'm a little scared of it, but I'm not against it. I love trying new things. I've got no problem with this.

    That said, we talk about girls he thinks are attractive all the time. It doesn't bother me at all. I'm just not sure how I'll feel if they reciprocate his "omg she's hot" feelings--even if, OBVIOUSLY, the feelings are completely fake. LOL. I've just never ventured down that road is all I'm saying, and I'm not sure what the etiquette is. :)
  • rosemaryhon
    rosemaryhon Posts: 507 Member
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    Sorry to bring up an old post, but I just want to say I was never against the idea of doing this. LOL. I never said I didn't want to-- I totally want to. I'm just not comfortable with the atmosphere and have no idea what is expected of me there. I also don't want it to become a "thing" where he wants to do it every weekend. That's the only issue I have with this-- I have no problems otherwise.

    Thanks to everyone for the supportive comments! :)

    Oh okay, different story if you want to :). It just seemed to me many replies assumed women are bi-curious, and that if a woman doesn't want a girl lap dance she's just too uptight. I don't need to relax or have a drink because bottom line is I'm truly only turned on to men. I mean, I think women are beautiful, just not sexually exciting *to me*. But if they are to you, cool!

    Though yea, I do think your concern it could become a 'thing' is realistic. Your wise to give pause for thought IMO.
  • MexicanOsmosis
    MexicanOsmosis Posts: 382 Member
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    I guess my question would be: how open would he be to go to a male strip club, have a lap dance by a male stripper and watch you get one by a man?

    I would say no to that if my wife wanted to me to go with her, I don't like men like that, she knows that. I have no problem if she wants to go with her friends (though she has said she would rather go see and has seen women). Granted, I wouldn't try to force her to go to a strip club with me either, if she didn't want to go, she wouldn't go.
  • MexicanOsmosis
    MexicanOsmosis Posts: 382 Member
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    Though yea, I do think your concern it could become a 'thing' is realistic. Your wise to give pause for thought IMO.

    Then money along with other deeper issues come into play, and it could get messy. Once in a blue moon though, not a big deal.
  • AndiGirl70
    AndiGirl70 Posts: 542 Member
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    It can be a great experience as a couple and a whole lotta fun! IMO you need to be secure in your relationship to even consider going together. You should also be trusting, open and honest with each other before you go to the club. Make a list of do's and don'ts for your fist time visiting together and just enjoy the experience. It can be entertaining or erotic or both for the two of you. Personally, I enjoy watching the women dance more than the men as they are more sensual and erotic. Another option would be go to a burlesque show as opposed to a strip club. Still fun but not as interactive, I like these too. If you go, have a fantastic time!
  • SemperAnticus1643
    SemperAnticus1643 Posts: 703 Member
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    PS: I just realized the post WAS actually still going. Whoops. ;)

    Oh, and re: disrespect, my hubby and I have a great relationship. He wouldn't pressure me into this if I told him I was absolutely against it. I'm NOT absolutely against it. I'm a little scared of it, but I'm not against it. I love trying new things. I've got no problem with this.

    That said, we talk about girls he thinks are attractive all the time. It doesn't bother me at all. I'm just not sure how I'll feel if they reciprocate his "omg she's hot" feelings--even if, OBVIOUSLY, the feelings are completely fake. LOL. I've just never ventured down that road is all I'm saying, and I'm not sure what the etiquette is. :)

    OMG she's hot is a lot different than watching my husband get a lap dance. My husband and I discuss who is good looking all the time. Actually, it's mainly me that says hey that guy is hott but who's keeping score? And it's not random guys off the street, it's normally men from television or movies. I have actually seen my husband get hit on right in front of me and was about to punch our waitress in the face. :)
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
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    I didn't read the comments, so I want to just say that: Yes, you can look all you want (that is the whole point, to be able to look and enjoy as much as you want). But, No, you do not touch! ..except for giving the money.
  • LATeagno
    LATeagno Posts: 620 Member
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    PS: I just realized the post WAS actually still going. Whoops. ;)

    Oh, and re: disrespect, my hubby and I have a great relationship. He wouldn't pressure me into this if I told him I was absolutely against it. I'm NOT absolutely against it. I'm a little scared of it, but I'm not against it. I love trying new things. I've got no problem with this.

    That said, we talk about girls he thinks are attractive all the time. It doesn't bother me at all. I'm just not sure how I'll feel if they reciprocate his "omg she's hot" feelings--even if, OBVIOUSLY, the feelings are completely fake. LOL. I've just never ventured down that road is all I'm saying, and I'm not sure what the etiquette is. :)

    OMG she's hot is a lot different than watching my husband get a lap dance. My husband and I discuss who is good looking all the time. Actually, it's mainly me that says hey that guy is hott but who's keeping score? And it's not random guys off the street, it's normally men from television or movies. I have actually seen my husband get hit on right in front of me and was about to punch our waitress in the face. :)

    I agree it's a lot different, which is why I have SOME trepidation. LOL. I don't think of myself as the jealous type, but I know there's a streak in there somewhere. The thing is I think that women view this type of thing much different than men do. To me, it's lighthearted and playful--even a little funny-- whereas with him, it's all about the T&A and the girl and the thoughts of doing the girl. Women are just different creatures than men. I DO trust my husband (lucky for me, he's not very suave...lol), so I'm not like...worried he'll run off with a stripper or anything. I'm just not sure how I feel about actually watching another woman pretend she's interested in him. That said, aside from the strip club etiquette, that's pretty much it as far as insecurities go. It's just fear of the unknown.
  • shadowkat57
    shadowkat57 Posts: 151 Member
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    I guess my question would be: how open would he be to go to a male strip club, have a lap dance by a male stripper and watch you get one by a man?


    This ^^.

    And too I've been wondering how her husband would feel if she wanted HIM to get a lap dance by a male dancer? Would us wives just expect our husbands to have a few drinks and let another man gyrate on him for our pleasure?

    Cool if one wants to do it, not cool if one feels they need to get drunk to engage in behavior they're just not into (such as a straight spouse egged on to homosexual play). I just don't see any straight guys I've known going along with "just relax, have a few drinks, it'll be fun to have another man rub on you" ;)

    Strikes me this wouldn't be considered so much fun in reverse and thus is a double standard.

    My OH would be fine with me having a lapdance with a guy, and would possibly have one himself. He is mostly straight...but definitely finds some guys attractive. And it might be a bit hot, watching 2 goodlookin' dudes together :)
  • JessicaBR13
    JessicaBR13 Posts: 294 Member
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    Go! The strippers are so nice and friendly to other women! You'll have a great time.

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