harrassment

GrnEyz
GrnEyz Posts: 360
edited September 19 in Health and Weight Loss
Ok, so this has NOTHING to do with weight loss, or MFP or anything like that. But I am SO upset right now and I know if I don't vent or talk to someone about this I'm going to drown myself in food!

My brother is going through some really tough spots right now, and unfortunately it has been in the paper. Our next door neighbor, who used to be my mothers friend until this all came out, and now her true colors are shining through!, has been harassing my mother. Sending her vicious emails and text messages. These comments are SO horrible that my mother starts shaking and crying and locks herself in her room for pretty much the rest of the day. This ordeal with my brother has been hard on all of us as is, without this added hatred.

Does anyone know if there's any legal action we can take to protect my mother from this abuse? Such as restraining orders? Or would that not work since she's right across the street from us?

I know this has nothing to do with what this site is about, but I've seen you guys be so caring and supportive to other people, I just thought I'd put this out there.

Thank you.

Replies

  • GrnEyz
    GrnEyz Posts: 360
    Ok, so this has NOTHING to do with weight loss, or MFP or anything like that. But I am SO upset right now and I know if I don't vent or talk to someone about this I'm going to drown myself in food!

    My brother is going through some really tough spots right now, and unfortunately it has been in the paper. Our next door neighbor, who used to be my mothers friend until this all came out, and now her true colors are shining through!, has been harassing my mother. Sending her vicious emails and text messages. These comments are SO horrible that my mother starts shaking and crying and locks herself in her room for pretty much the rest of the day. This ordeal with my brother has been hard on all of us as is, without this added hatred.

    Does anyone know if there's any legal action we can take to protect my mother from this abuse? Such as restraining orders? Or would that not work since she's right across the street from us?

    I know this has nothing to do with what this site is about, but I've seen you guys be so caring and supportive to other people, I just thought I'd put this out there.

    Thank you.
  • shorerider
    shorerider Posts: 3,817 Member
    I am sure that your mother can get an order to force the woman to have no contact with her whatsoever.

    I'm so sorry your family is having such problems and hope it all works out. Try to find some other way to take your mind off it rather than food though. I can't imagine how hard this must be for you but also hope it won't sabotage your weight loss goals.

    :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
  • rosabella
    rosabella Posts: 194 Member
    *hug*

    I think that you can get a restraining order so she doesn't contact your mother. We'll all keep you in our thoughts and prayers. :heart:
  • vldowd
    vldowd Posts: 74 Member
    Most cities will have a statute about harassment by phone or in person. Generally, the person needs to be notified to stop then if it continues possible criminal charges may be pursued.

    Restraining orders are very specific as to who can apply and receive them. This will be regulated by the individual state. In Idaho there are 2 types one is issued through the courts between a suspect and a victim of a physical crime. The other is applied for through the civil courts and there has to be a familial or intimate relationship involved.

    The best thing is to contact the local authorities and courts to find out what options are available to your family.

    Sorry about the difficult times that you are going through. Unfortunately, we don't get to pick our family like we do our friends on MFP.
  • BrenNew
    BrenNew Posts: 3,420 Member
    I'm sorry about your troubles too!
    Do you think it would be possible for you to go across the street and "as calmly" as you can, tell the woman that she's really hurting your mother and needs to stop or you'll be forced to get a restraining order?
  • lotusfromthemud
    lotusfromthemud Posts: 5,335 Member
    The first thing to do is to document and report, and then seek legal help. The police should be able to answer your questions as far as harassment goes.

    Don't hesitate to report it! Also, save copies of everything that is sent. This is important if you end up in court.

    :heart: :flowerforyou: :heart:
  • GrnEyz
    GrnEyz Posts: 360
    I'm sorry about your troubles too!
    Do you think it would be possible for you to go across the street and "as calmly" as you can, tell the woman that she's really hurting your mother and needs to stop or you'll be forced to get a restraining order?

    unfortunately no....this woman is vicious. She's the type of person who gets JOY out of seeing others suffer. My mother has already sent her a message (twice, now) asking her to leave her alone. And she just keeps it going.

    I'm so frustrated with my grandma and step-father too....they just keep telling her "oh just ignore her, she just wants to get you riled up" I understand that people suck and sometimes in life you just have to learn to ignore people.....but am I wrong in thinking that there also comes a point where you have a RIGHT to stick up for yourself??
  • blondeheat
    blondeheat Posts: 254 Member
    Every contact needs to be documented, time, date what was said, type of contact, witnesses. Contact your local law enforcement to see how much is needed before they can act.
  • GrnEyz
    GrnEyz Posts: 360
    thanks guys! It's good to know that there are still some good hearted people out there!
  • sgtinvincible
    sgtinvincible Posts: 2,559
    Oregon State Statute 166.065 Harassment. (1) A person commits the crime of harassment if the person intentionally:

    (a) Harasses or annoys another person by:

    (A) Subjecting such other person to offensive physical contact; or

    (B) Publicly insulting such other person by abusive words or gestures in a manner intended and likely to provoke a violent response;

    (b) Subjects another to alarm by conveying a false report, known by the conveyor to be false, concerning death or serious physical injury to a person, which report reasonably would be expected to cause alarm; or

    (c) Subjects another to alarm by conveying a telephonic, electronic or written threat to inflict serious physical injury on that person or to commit a felony involving the person or property of that person or any member of that person’s family, which threat reasonably would be expected to cause alarm.

    (2) A person is criminally liable for harassment if the person knowingly permits any telephone or electronic device under the person’s control to be used in violation of subsection (1) of this section.

    (3) Harassment is a Class B misdemeanor.

    (4) Notwithstanding subsection (3) of this section, harassment is a Class A misdemeanor if a person violates subsection (1) of this section by subjecting another person to offensive physical contact and the offensive physical contact consists of touching the sexual or other intimate parts of the other person. [1971 c.743 §223; 1981 c.468 §1; 1985 c.498 §1; 1987 c.806 §3; 1995 c.802 §1; 2001 c.870 §2]


    Looks like if she doesn't stop, a warrant could be in her future. :wink:
  • CyclingDiva
    CyclingDiva Posts: 492 Member
    Oregon State Statute 166.065 Harassment. (1) A person commits the crime of harassment if the person intentionally:

    (a) Harasses or annoys another person by:

    (A) Subjecting such other person to offensive physical contact; or

    (B) Publicly insulting such other person by abusive words or gestures in a manner intended and likely to provoke a violent response;

    (b) Subjects another to alarm by conveying a false report, known by the conveyor to be false, concerning death or serious physical injury to a person, which report reasonably would be expected to cause alarm; or

    (c) Subjects another to alarm by conveying a telephonic, electronic or written threat to inflict serious physical injury on that person or to commit a felony involving the person or property of that person or any member of that person’s family, which threat reasonably would be expected to cause alarm.

    (2) A person is criminally liable for harassment if the person knowingly permits any telephone or electronic device under the person’s control to be used in violation of subsection (1) of this section.

    (3) Harassment is a Class B misdemeanor.

    (4) Notwithstanding subsection (3) of this section, harassment is a Class A misdemeanor if a person violates subsection (1) of this section by subjecting another person to offensive physical contact and the offensive physical contact consists of touching the sexual or other intimate parts of the other person. [1971 c.743 §223; 1981 c.468 §1; 1985 c.498 §1; 1987 c.806 §3; 1995 c.802 §1; 2001 c.870 §2]


    Looks like if she doesn't stop, a warrant could be in her future. :wink:



    I think you need to contact someone about this, but you really shouldn't have any contact with this person at all. Things you might say in the heat of the moment could back fire against your family!
    I strongly believe in standing up for yourself, but sometimes with irrational people that may not be the best idea.
    Like others have already mentioned you should contact law enforcement, document , print the emails, have no contact with that person what so ever!
    It's sad some people have to be so ignorant and unable to mind their own business!
    Stay strong for your mom. I hope all this ends for you soon.
    Kelly
  • Carrie6o6
    Carrie6o6 Posts: 1,443 Member
    I had this happen to me. My best friend turned out to be a control freak when I was in high school so i told her I didn't want to be her friend anymore and it sucked cause all my classes were with her. But she would always call and harass me, text me, email me, and in class made my life living hell. I would almost always be crying about it and her family was crazy so I was scared to call the cops. I just took it. I changed my email, changed my phone number everything. Eventually she just stopped. That was a horrible time.

    I agree with the rest though you should call someone!
  • peej76
    peej76 Posts: 1,250 Member
    I'm sorry your family is going through tough times, and I hope things get better. I don't know why som people can't just leave well enough alone, it takes all kinds. I would think that something could be done about the harrassment. I would start a journal and log the times she calls and emails, and what they entail. Thoughts and prayers:flowerforyou:
  • coldhound
    coldhound Posts: 26 Member
    Yes, you can do something about it.

    1. Call the police and file a complaint.
    2. Call a lawyer and find out your avenues of recourse under state law.
  • StrawberryMargarita
    StrawberryMargarita Posts: 442
    You know, I believe that is she got a restraining order and he lives too close, he still can't go home. It is like people who live in the same, if you get a restraining order, the other person can't come home.
  • GrnEyz
    GrnEyz Posts: 360
    Thanks for all the suggestions! I've told my mom that if she continues to save everything (up until now she's deleted it all not wanting that hatred around reminding her), and to first talk to her husband and see if he can "control" his wife and express to be left alone again, and if she still continues call the cops. they always work on a couple boards together and volunteer at the same place together so I told her to tell her "boss" so they are aware of the situation.

    Thanks again for all of your great advice and support...and thank you for looking up Oregon law! You guys are great! I'm so glad I found this site. Not only are you guys supportive, but very caring.

    :flowerforyou:
  • TNTPete
    TNTPete Posts: 701 Member
    My neighbor did some harassing a while back when I was younger; we called the police many times and they did put a restraining order on her after a couple complaints. This was in NY and I imagine each State has their regulations but NO it is not okay for her to continue what she is doing...

    Your poor mom, and your family - my heart goes to you.
  • GinaB30
    GinaB30 Posts: 725 Member
    Ok, so this has NOTHING to do with weight loss, or MFP or anything like that. But I am SO upset right now and I know if I don't vent or talk to someone about this I'm going to drown myself in food!

    My brother is going through some really tough spots right now, and unfortunately it has been in the paper. Our next door neighbor, who used to be my mothers friend until this all came out, and now her true colors are shining through!, has been harassing my mother. Sending her vicious emails and text messages. These comments are SO horrible that my mother starts shaking and crying and locks herself in her room for pretty much the rest of the day. This ordeal with my brother has been hard on all of us as is, without this added hatred.

    Does anyone know if there's any legal action we can take to protect my mother from this abuse? Such as restraining orders? Or would that not work since she's right across the street from us?

    I know this has nothing to do with what this site is about, but I've seen you guys be so caring and supportive to other people, I just thought I'd put this out there.

    Thank you.

    I think she should show the email and text's to the police and file a restraining order against that woman...that's horrible. =o/
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