Why some relationships fail...

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HisEminence
HisEminence Posts: 55
in Chit-Chat
Do you think that many relationships fail because people don't produce in the relationship what they sell in courtship? Also, along those same lines, would you agree or disagree with the following statement: The one who loves least, controls the relationship? Why or why not?

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  • SoViLicious
    SoViLicious Posts: 2,633 Member
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    Huh?
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,119 Member
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    Do you think that many relationships fail because people don't produce in the relationship what they sell in courtship? Also, along those same lines, would you agree or disagree with the following statement: The one who loves least, controls the relationship? Why or why not?

    Well, now we know why YOUR relationships fail :laugh:
  • Ocarina
    Ocarina Posts: 1,550 Member
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    Can you look past the flaws?

    I think your statements are potentially true... but if you aren't married why waste your time?
  • Ramberta
    Ramberta Posts: 1,312 Member
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    I didn't have a "courtship" phase before my current relationship... we were FWBs first, but that's hardly 'courting'. I think you're thinking about relationships in a more dated fashion :tongue:

    In regards to your second statement, I think that the person who loves the "least" does have an impact, but they don't necessarily have to "control" the relationship. Any successful relationship won't have an element of control about it, at least not outside of sexual roleplay.
  • anthonymannon
    anthonymannon Posts: 21
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    spend less time thinking about why it failed, and more time looking for the next one.

    when it's right, it'll work. and you wont have to worry about who "loves less" or whatever
  • JasonT1973
    JasonT1973 Posts: 229 Member
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    I absolutely think people "sell" themselves to get that guy/girl they want. The problem is that "SOME" people can't maintain that level of deception and the real person creeps out eventually. AND... I really don't want to read 5 pages of people arguing with me. EVERYONE's experiences are different... I know that not everyone is a phony... but there do seem to be a lot of phonies.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
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    The one who loves least, controls the relationship---and pines for some old lover.

    Where are you getting this relationship wisdom? A magic 8 ball? Going into a relationship with demands & expectations and wishing for leverage seems like a set up for disappointment. And resentment.
  • heatherloveslifting
    heatherloveslifting Posts: 1,428 Member
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    Suspect the reasons for failure are as diverse as the relationships are. I think perhaps some people may put less effort into a relationship that feels more secure. And I disagree that the one who "loves less" always has more power.
  • TheEffort
    TheEffort Posts: 1,028 Member
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    The one who loves least, controls the relationship---and pines for some old lover.

    Where are you getting this relationship wisdom? A magic 8 ball? Going into a relationship with demands & expectations and wishing for leverage seems like a set up for disappointment. And resentment.

    This.

    8488541.png
  • Stump_Likker
    Stump_Likker Posts: 2,059 Member
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    Sometimes people just suck.
  • NormInv
    NormInv Posts: 3,303 Member
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    money
  • JasonT1973
    JasonT1973 Posts: 229 Member
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    Sometimes people just suck.
    ^5 that
  • DalekBrittany
    DalekBrittany Posts: 1,748 Member
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    lol@courtship. I don't like to do things the normal way. I knew my fiance for an entire 2 days before we started our relationship! So IDK what that is like. I do agree that if there is a person who cares less in the relationship, that person would probably control said relationship. But there is not necessarily a person who cares less than the other in every relationship.
  • betteringmyselfeachday
    betteringmyselfeachday Posts: 99
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    In dating you attempt so much to please the other person. You go out of your way to make them like you. Once you are in a long term relationship, then they just start being more themselves again. We all get comfortable in relationships, sometimes too much. You start not dressing nice, you may start doing gross things in front of the other.

    Relationships, especially long term, take lots of efforts. It is something you need to work at. You need to continue to try to please the other person, make them happy.

    If you are wanting to fix things then maybe you should go out of your way, relive your first date. Do something major romantic like a candle light dinner.

    I think that if you are in a relationship, you should both majorly care about the outcome of the relationship.

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