NSV: I had a dream

The other day I fell asleep in my loose white shorts for a nap. I was feeling down and out about eating more cals in an effort to get more protein and also forgetting about my iron and winding up with dizzy spells. I was beleiving I hadn't really lost weight and that maybe I had even gained some of it back with my oops over cals streak in trying to get enough protein.

Suddenly in that half asleep, half awake state between here, dream state, and the bermuda triangle I felt the weirdest sensation. It was the tight squeeze those shorts had not too long ago when I would stare at them suspiciously, dare to try them on, hope the plasticky zipper wouldn't break, struggle and hold my breath to do the not one but two hook and bar latches and walk around with the worse muffin top in the world which should more accurately have been called a cake top. That with so much squish coming out the bottom as to be seriously concerning. But I would put a loose top over it all blousy and some sandals and see if it could fly. Some days I'd even get brave to ask husband if he thought it looked alright and he'd say the same thing "If that's how you want to look" but not before getting an eyefull of the goods. LOL. I felt them for a split second as tight and squeezy pinchy and unabletobreathy as they had been before. Only now when my eyes opened in shock they were all loosey goosey. I literally shoved both hands down them just to prove that I can now.

So all at once it hit me. I've come a long way. I realized I am wearing those same exact shorts and now I'm swimming in them. A little confusion or delay or whatever has not put me back to square one. It was a big huge reality check and one I really needed a lot since I'd been feeling give uppy lately. It's amazing I had forgotten but clearly not completely and I guess it's just lucky I was wearing such a good barometer piece of clothing at the moment. My plan lying down had been to nap and then wake up and announce my not "dieting" anymore to hubby to an audience of fanfare and confetti and probably a night out to a very off limits dinner. Instead I just fell back asleep and focused on remembering that "dream".

And I'm now currently wearing a pair of shorts as tight as those used to be that I dug out of the closet in a smaller size only now when I wear them out of the house without feeling the need to ask anyone, I get unsolicited opinions from men I pass down the street. They make it obvious they look good and I can't wait until these jean shorts feel as loose as those white one's once did. Currently they feel like this.

although to be honest neither pair ever looked quite that insanely small.

LOL. but that's certainly how the white one's and now these jean one's feel. Apparently it takes time for one's mind to catch up with one's body. I can be patient.

I can't wait until they look more like this.

And I can wait even longer until I actually feel it.



BTW...
My white shorts that I can't show a picture of how tight they were cause....pornal are now currently this loose.


just imagine them a little shorter and on a curvier girl. Still though super comfy in hot summer. Yay for that!