Nasty Things People Say and How We Can Overcome

You let it go. Time heals all. Success and happiness are the best revenge.

I lived with an uncle who called me a sumo wrestler and said no man would ever want to sleep with me because they would be afraid I'd roll over on them. Many mean nasty comments.

He's a miserable old single man still living with my Grandma, and will probably die alone. I have a good relationship and a child on the way, and I have my own place and nice vehicles.

I always tell myself I am better than them. If it makes you feel better think about how you feel sorry for that guy and his tiny member or his tiny brain whatever makes you feel better.

I believe in karma. He will feel what he did to you a thousands time over.

Oh and on another note. Seeing how he attacked for now apparent reason I can imagine he has some fetish for large girls but is repressing it due to him buying into sterotypes. Sometimes when a person attacks someone so strongly it's usually because they have latent desires. I compare it to men who are gay bashers usually they have homoerotic tendencies. I imagine he has a chubby cuckold fetish.

I have too many experiences of people saying crap like that to name them all. I'll go into just a couple though.

My uncle, for one, who won't even speak to me or my mom (his sister), wrote her a letter (his last contact with her) telling her how horrible she is. And, no, he couldn't just leave it at that... but he had to proceed to tell her how she had "ruined" me by cooking so much for me and having me also take care of her (financially) that I was now so "fat" and ugly that I would never have anyone. Yeah... this is family. It hurts when it's a complete stranger. It's like a knife going in though when it comes from "family".

Background... yes, I take care of my mother financially because she is physically disabled with Fibromyalgia, Degenerative Spinal Disease, COPD, and Chronic Asthma. My dad left us when I was 14... and since then (for the past 15 years) I have had to do the majority of working. My wonderful and beautiful mother, though, does help out by doing things around the house and by baking / catering here and there (small orders) during the holidays to bring in a little extra money. It's never much... but it does help. She has far from "ruined" me. She can't help being disabled. I have never blamed her. It's not easy, I admit. I do want to be out on my own. Yes. BUT... she hasn't ruined me. And, she doesn't control me.

Secondly... I was working at Cracker Barrel a few years ago as a cashier. Before the end of each transaction, I had a little target item that our manager wanted us to try and add on to each ticket. I think this particular item was a Hershey's bar. When I asked the lady in my line, she couldn't just say "yes" or "no". She had to attack me for my weight and my looks. Telling me that "obviously" that was my problem. That I had ate too many Hershey's bars. And, that I needed to quit trying to push my problems on everyone else.

So yeah... those are two of my experiences with stuff like this.

My dad is the worst for saying cruel things about my weight. If he's around me, he criticizes every bite I put into my mouth. One time I grabbed a carrot for a snack and he told me that it was too fattening and I'd be better off not eating anything. He's told me on numerous occasions that my weight is the reason I'm single because, according to him, no man wants a fat woman. He's encouraged me to abuse laxatives to lose weight - and I'm in kidney failure so that would actually be extremely dangerous for me. He even bought me a pack of laxatives and told me to take double the regular dosage. He tells me we weigh the same (he's 70 lbs heavier) and once gave me a man's shirt in his size for Christmas figuring I needed the extra room. I haven't even told him I'm trying to lose because I know he'll say what he always does, which is that I might as well give up because I'll never be able to stick to any diet.

I know I shouldn't listen to him, but it still really hurts coming from my dad.

As someone in customer service, I know what it's like to have people come through who are complete *kitten*. I hate it, because you can't defend yourself! You just have to take it and keep your true thoughts to yourself. I fantasize about seeing those people outside of work so I can tell them off!

a strong roundhouse to the face would solve most of the above

My dad is the worst for saying cruel things about my weight. If he's around me, he criticizes every bite I put into my mouth. One time I grabbed a carrot for a snack and he told me that it was too fattening and I'd be better off not eating anything. He's told me on numerous occasions that my weight is the reason I'm single because, according to him, no man wants a fat woman. He's encouraged me to abuse laxatives to lose weight - and I'm in kidney failure so that would actually be extremely dangerous for me. He even bought me a pack of laxatives and told me to take double the regular dosage. He tells me we weigh the same (he's 70 lbs heavier) and once gave me a man's shirt in his size for Christmas figuring I needed the extra room. I haven't even told him I'm trying to lose because I know he'll say what he always does, which is that I might as well give up because I'll never be able to stick to any diet.

I know I shouldn't listen to him, but it still really hurts coming from my dad.

I had a prick like that of a dad too- just stay away from him and when you can just cut him out of your life. You are a very worthwhile person and don't need anyone that abusive to tell you who and what you are.

you have the right to defend your self you just do it in a professional manner if you are at work. if you don't say anything he will keep on let him know you are not the one to mess with in a professional manner ask him would he appreciate someone talking the way he does to his mom like that or daughter make it personal

I am replying based on the hershey comment. She must have had a mental problem to say that kind of thing to you. Either that or some government bum that has never worked in the public. Enough said. People like that make me mad.

Worst things that happen to me were in elementary school, but I remember one thing that happen a few years ago. I was walking at the park, trying to exercise, and this teen girl was with her friends. She started making remarks that I stunk every time I walked around the lap where her house was. I finally got mad, and said "You would stink too if you were exercising, but all your doing is running your mouth." She would also whisper to her friends when I walked by. She only did this a couple days, and this was the last day because I spoke up. Well its probably been 3 years, and she looks a lot heavier now. She doesn't say those kinds of things to me anymore. Karma is a biotch!

My dad is the worst for saying cruel things about my weight. If he's around me, he criticizes every bite I put into my mouth. One time I grabbed a carrot for a snack and he told me that it was too fattening and I'd be better off not eating anything. He's told me on numerous occasions that my weight is the reason I'm single because, according to him, no man wants a fat woman. He's encouraged me to abuse laxatives to lose weight - and I'm in kidney failure so that would actually be extremely dangerous for me. He even bought me a pack of laxatives and told me to take double the regular dosage. He tells me we weigh the same (he's 70 lbs heavier) and once gave me a man's shirt in his size for Christmas figuring I needed the extra room. I haven't even told him I'm trying to lose because I know he'll say what he always does, which is that I might as well give up because I'll never be able to stick to any diet.

I know I shouldn't listen to him, but it still really hurts coming from my dad.

Tell your dad he is an A-Hole and most likely the reason you must now work so hard to get healthy and feel better.

Oh how I want to smash (Hulk Smash!) people like that!!!!!! Most often those of us who have eaten too much for too long do so for reasons like which you describe and while I WILL NOT use an excuse for my own weight gain -- I did it, no one else -- I also know that fathers who abuse their children cause much of the problems they later face.

So @##@#!@ Him.

Sorry for the rant, but you can overcome it!!! To hell with him and everyone else (say it! Repeat after me: scr*w them!). You're the better person and always will be.

Keep up the good work!
Erik

I have been a big girl all my life . . so I probably could fill 2 books with insults I have received over the years. I think what hurt me most, is my grandma would tell me people were always making fun of me. That I was being laughed at all the time. If we went out to eat, she would make sure to tell me that. It made me not want to eat, but then I'd binge when I got home.

Sad that even though she hurt me deeply and messed with my head, I still love her and miss her.

I have been a big girl all my life . . so I probably could fill 2 books with insults I have received over the years. I think what hurt me most, is my grandma would tell me people were always making fun of me. That I was being laughed at all the time. If we went out to eat, she would make sure to tell me that. It made me not want to eat, but then I'd binge when I got home.

Sad that even though she hurt me deeply and messed with my head, I still love her and miss her.

Hurtful comments from people we love are the hardest. Usually they think they are helping, but no.

I have been a big girl all my life . . so I probably could fill 2 books with insults I have received over the years. I think what hurt me most, is my grandma would tell me people were always making fun of me. That I was being laughed at all the time. If we went out to eat, she would make sure to tell me that. It made me not want to eat, but then I'd binge when I got home.

Sad that even though she hurt me deeply and messed with my head, I still love her and miss her.

Hurtful comments from people we love are the hardest. Usually they think they are helping, but no.

True. What sucks is when someone tells you, you should do the world a favor and die. Its like.... 'what are you smokin? No one should DIE because they don't fit someones view of perfection.'

Forget that punk, think about the dumb look on his face next time you workout, i do that when punching and kicking it helps haha

Yesterday, I was shopping for a pair of shorts because 1) I only own one pair, and 2) the size I have is too big (yay!). So I grabbed a pair to try on in the fitting room. Well, I didn't know the lock was broken and that no one could see anyone was in the room. As I was trying on a pair (which were a size smaller, but I couldn't zip them )-- struggling a little complete with my gut hanging out a bit-- an older gentleman pushes up my door and sees my struggle before seeing my chubby tummy. He looks at me and goes "oh..." and shuts the door and walks out. I change back into my clothes and head back into the store. The guy finds me to talk to me. He didn't apologize for not knocking or anything, but he tells me "next time, please shop the plus-size section. You might have better luck there, or better yet, Catherine's Plus SIze is across the street, their clothes may be more fitting." :sad: I felt so crushed, especially since I've been working hard (he should have seen me when I weighed 230 pounds)!

Then I felt terrible for ordering a smoothie 10 minutes prior and drinking it. I wanted to curl up, die, starve myself... I went and jogged on the trail and cried...