Nasty Things People Say and How We Can Overcome
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penrbrown
Posts: 2,685 Member
Right, so I had a bit of a discouraging experience the other day and while I've ranted to my friends list I thought this is an opportunity for us all to air those little hurts that pile up. This is the thread to come and share those nasty, mean things that people say that end up sticking.
My hurt of the week:
Had a customer come through my till at work. The lady before him was talking about her husband who cooks and I teasingly commented: I need one of those!
This guy overheard and decided to lay into me.
1) Apparently I'm lazy and stupid and I don't know how to cook.
2) Clearly all I eat is pizza pops and microwave meals (judging by my size)
3) What man would want ME (seriously... can't believe he went that route)
As I was at work I was unable to defend myself. My only recourse was to ignore his nastiness. The lady, thankfully, did not join in his nasty little tirade. Instead she looked at him like he was nuts and then walked away.
The guy in question was built like a freaking tank. All muscle. Clearly he takes care of himself. And yes, I AM fat. I didn't freaking get fat eating junk food. I got fat eating too much good food (yes, I know how to freaking cook AND bake. That's the freaking problem).
Phew. Feels good to get that off my chest.
Your turn. Go ahead. Let it all out and let's all have a good b**** fest together!
My hurt of the week:
Had a customer come through my till at work. The lady before him was talking about her husband who cooks and I teasingly commented: I need one of those!
This guy overheard and decided to lay into me.
1) Apparently I'm lazy and stupid and I don't know how to cook.
2) Clearly all I eat is pizza pops and microwave meals (judging by my size)
3) What man would want ME (seriously... can't believe he went that route)
As I was at work I was unable to defend myself. My only recourse was to ignore his nastiness. The lady, thankfully, did not join in his nasty little tirade. Instead she looked at him like he was nuts and then walked away.
The guy in question was built like a freaking tank. All muscle. Clearly he takes care of himself. And yes, I AM fat. I didn't freaking get fat eating junk food. I got fat eating too much good food (yes, I know how to freaking cook AND bake. That's the freaking problem).
Phew. Feels good to get that off my chest.
Your turn. Go ahead. Let it all out and let's all have a good b**** fest together!
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Replies
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I am sick of people trying to Push s*** on me. It's not so much What they say, but everyone in my office knows I eat healthy. And I don't go downstairs to street vendors for lunch every day. When it was free ice cream day, 6 of my co-workers were taunting me with their ice cream and asking me Why I wasn't down there enjoying as well. I'm just sick of people trying to push food on me, especially when they know I don't eat those things on a regular basis.0
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You let it go. Time heals all. Success and happiness are the best revenge.
I lived with an uncle who called me a sumo wrestler and said no man would ever want to sleep with me because they would be afraid I'd roll over on them. Many mean nasty comments.
He's a miserable old single man still living with my Grandma, and will probably die alone. I have a good relationship and a child on the way, and I have my own place and nice vehicles.
I always tell myself I am better than them. If it makes you feel better think about how you feel sorry for that guy and his tiny member or his tiny brain whatever makes you feel better.
I believe in karma. He will feel what he did to you a thousands time over.
Oh and on another note. Seeing how he attacked for now apparent reason I can imagine he has some fetish for large girls but is repressing it due to him buying into sterotypes. Sometimes when a person attacks someone so strongly it's usually because they have latent desires. I compare it to men who are gay bashers usually they have homoerotic tendencies. I imagine he has a chubby cuckold fetish.0 -
The one that gets me is supposed "friends" that tell my husband I getting ready to get rid of him and find a new man because I have lost weight and cut my hair. It hurts because they are suppose to be friends. I just tell them that my husband has trained me well has I would not want another man even if I got rid of him.0
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I have too many experiences of people saying crap like that to name them all. I'll go into just a couple though.
My uncle, for one, who won't even speak to me or my mom (his sister), wrote her a letter (his last contact with her) telling her how horrible she is. And, no, he couldn't just leave it at that... but he had to proceed to tell her how she had "ruined" me by cooking so much for me and having me also take care of her (financially) that I was now so "fat" and ugly that I would never have anyone. Yeah... this is family. It hurts when it's a complete stranger. It's like a knife going in though when it comes from "family".
Background... yes, I take care of my mother financially because she is physically disabled with Fibromyalgia, Degenerative Spinal Disease, COPD, and Chronic Asthma. My dad left us when I was 14... and since then (for the past 15 years) I have had to do the majority of working. My wonderful and beautiful mother, though, does help out by doing things around the house and by baking / catering here and there (small orders) during the holidays to bring in a little extra money. It's never much... but it does help. She has far from "ruined" me. She can't help being disabled. I have never blamed her. It's not easy, I admit. I do want to be out on my own. Yes. BUT... she hasn't ruined me. And, she doesn't control me.
Secondly... I was working at Cracker Barrel a few years ago as a cashier. Before the end of each transaction, I had a little target item that our manager wanted us to try and add on to each ticket. I think this particular item was a Hershey's bar. When I asked the lady in my line, she couldn't just say "yes" or "no". She had to attack me for my weight and my looks. Telling me that "obviously" that was my problem. That I had ate too many Hershey's bars. And, that I needed to quit trying to push my problems on everyone else.
So yeah... those are two of my experiences with stuff like this.0 -
I love how a woman's worth is chalked up to her ability to attract a man. Geez Louise. I am sorry that this happened to you. Creeps like that contribute NOTHING to society. In this instance, rely on karma.0
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My dad is the worst for saying cruel things about my weight. If he's around me, he criticizes every bite I put into my mouth. One time I grabbed a carrot for a snack and he told me that it was too fattening and I'd be better off not eating anything. He's told me on numerous occasions that my weight is the reason I'm single because, according to him, no man wants a fat woman. He's encouraged me to abuse laxatives to lose weight - and I'm in kidney failure so that would actually be extremely dangerous for me. He even bought me a pack of laxatives and told me to take double the regular dosage. He tells me we weigh the same (he's 70 lbs heavier) and once gave me a man's shirt in his size for Christmas figuring I needed the extra room. I haven't even told him I'm trying to lose because I know he'll say what he always does, which is that I might as well give up because I'll never be able to stick to any diet.
I know I shouldn't listen to him, but it still really hurts coming from my dad.0 -
I've never had anyone be outright mean to me because of my weight. And it will probably pale in comparison to other peoples story....
But...
Back in April of this year, my mother and I had back to back appointments with the same doctor. For whatever reason, my mom decided that she was going to go back with me and attend my doctors appointment. (I'm 47 and still don't get why that happened.)
At the time, I was the heaviest I've ever been in my life, including while I was 9 months pregnant. When it was time for me to be weighed, I stepped on the scale and I could see my Mom out of the corner of my eye, literally running to see the numbers on the scale. I swear, if there had been people standing between her and the scale, she would have knocked them down.
When she saw that I weighed 160 lbs, she said (kinda like she just saw a UFO), very loudly, "Woooooow".
I think that's the only time I actually wanted to slap her.
Anyway, she spent the rest of the day, and a couple following days apologizing. And trying to make me feel better by saying "you just don't look 160 lbs..."
Every time I think of that, it still annoys me.0 -
As someone in customer service, I know what it's like to have people come through who are complete *kitten*. I hate it, because you can't defend yourself! You just have to take it and keep your true thoughts to yourself. I fantasize about seeing those people outside of work so I can tell them off!0
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I have a stock reply to people like this:
'I'd rather be as fat as a pig than as ignorant as one!'
Usually shuts them up.....0 -
a strong roundhouse to the face would solve most of the above0
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As someone in customer service, I know what it's like to have people come through who are complete *kitten*. I hate it, because you can't defend yourself! You just have to take it and keep your true thoughts to yourself. I fantasize about seeing those people outside of work so I can tell them off!
He's so lucky this DID happen while I was at work. As it was I kept my silence and let him go on his tirade. But oh boy was I angry. Couldn't even look at him by the end of it because I seriously wanted to punch him.
The next customer in line made up for it though. He was a sweetheart and clearly didn't approve of what he'd just witnessed.0 -
I had a prick like that of a dad too- just stay away from him and when you can just cut him out of your life. You are a very worthwhile person and don't need anyone that abusive to tell you who and what you are.My dad is the worst for saying cruel things about my weight. If he's around me, he criticizes every bite I put into my mouth. One time I grabbed a carrot for a snack and he told me that it was too fattening and I'd be better off not eating anything. He's told me on numerous occasions that my weight is the reason I'm single because, according to him, no man wants a fat woman. He's encouraged me to abuse laxatives to lose weight - and I'm in kidney failure so that would actually be extremely dangerous for me. He even bought me a pack of laxatives and told me to take double the regular dosage. He tells me we weigh the same (he's 70 lbs heavier) and once gave me a man's shirt in his size for Christmas figuring I needed the extra room. I haven't even told him I'm trying to lose because I know he'll say what he always does, which is that I might as well give up because I'll never be able to stick to any diet.
I know I shouldn't listen to him, but it still really hurts coming from my dad.0 -
It sounds like someone has a small penix to me. :laugh: He had to over compensate with big talk.
I don't think I would have been able to keep silent though if a person in front of me started abusing an employee like that (knowing you can't talk back to him).... I think I might have wound up arrested for assault....0 -
you have the right to defend your self you just do it in a professional manner if you are at work. if you don't say anything he will keep on let him know you are not the one to mess with in a professional manner
ask him would he appreciate someone talking the way he does to his mom like that or daughter make it personal 0 -
I had a prick like that of a dad too- just stay away from him and when you can just cut him out of your life. You are a very worthwhile person and don't need anyone that abusive to tell you who and what you are.My dad is the worst for saying cruel things about my weight. If he's around me, he criticizes every bite I put into my mouth. One time I grabbed a carrot for a snack and he told me that it was too fattening and I'd be better off not eating anything. He's told me on numerous occasions that my weight is the reason I'm single because, according to him, no man wants a fat woman. He's encouraged me to abuse laxatives to lose weight - and I'm in kidney failure so that would actually be extremely dangerous for me. He even bought me a pack of laxatives and told me to take double the regular dosage. He tells me we weigh the same (he's 70 lbs heavier) and once gave me a man's shirt in his size for Christmas figuring I needed the extra room. I haven't even told him I'm trying to lose because I know he'll say what he always does, which is that I might as well give up because I'll never be able to stick to any diet.
I know I shouldn't listen to him, but it still really hurts coming from my dad.
Me three. My dad was JUST like that. Agreed, cut him out of your life when you are able. He may very well see the light when he's forbidden from seeing/spending time with his (eventual) grandchildren and is all alone.0 -
I am replying based on the hershey comment. She must have had a mental problem to say that kind of thing to you. Either that or some government bum that has never worked in the public. Enough said. People like that make me mad.0
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Right, so I had a bit of a discouraging experience the other day and while I've ranted to my friends list I thought this is an opportunity for us all to air those little hurts that pile up. This is the thread to come and share those nasty, mean things that people say that end up sticking.
My hurt of the week:
Had a customer come through my till at work. The lady before him was talking about her husband who cooks and I teasingly commented: I need one of those!
This guy overheard and decided to lay into me.
1) Apparently I'm lazy and stupid and I don't know how to cook.
2) Clearly all I eat is pizza pops and microwave meals (judging by my size)
3) What man would want ME (seriously... can't believe he went that route)
As I was at work I was unable to defend myself. My only recourse was to ignore his nastiness. The lady, thankfully, did not join in his nasty little tirade. Instead she looked at him like he was nuts and then walked away.
The guy in question was built like a freaking tank. All muscle. Clearly he takes care of himself. And yes, I AM fat. I didn't freaking get fat eating junk food. I got fat eating too much good food (yes, I know how to freaking cook AND bake. That's the freaking problem).
Phew. Feels good to get that off my chest.
Your turn. Go ahead. Let it all out and let's all have a good b**** fest together!
At penrbrown ...
What a piece of stinky poop, that man is! :grumble:
Sorry you had to endure that kind of ****e, luv.
Karma can be ruthless, and he will get his day. :bigsmile:
Nana
Xx0 -
Worst things that happen to me were in elementary school, but I remember one thing that happen a few years ago. I was walking at the park, trying to exercise, and this teen girl was with her friends. She started making remarks that I stunk every time I walked around the lap where her house was. I finally got mad, and said "You would stink too if you were exercising, but all your doing is running your mouth." She would also whisper to her friends when I walked by. She only did this a couple days, and this was the last day because I spoke up. Well its probably been 3 years, and she looks a lot heavier now. She doesn't say those kinds of things to me anymore. Karma is a biotch!0
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My partner says I would look better more ripped, as he doesn't like the overly big muscled look on a woman....To say this made me feel like **** is an understatement. This is what pissed me off massively today. I'm sure I can report back tomorrow with something else. No doubt someone else will have something to say about either my diet, my body, my workout etc etc, someone usually does. If I was a man no one would bat an eyelid, but if youre female, you are fair game to comment on. GGRRRR!!!0
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My dad is the worst for saying cruel things about my weight. If he's around me, he criticizes every bite I put into my mouth. One time I grabbed a carrot for a snack and he told me that it was too fattening and I'd be better off not eating anything. He's told me on numerous occasions that my weight is the reason I'm single because, according to him, no man wants a fat woman. He's encouraged me to abuse laxatives to lose weight - and I'm in kidney failure so that would actually be extremely dangerous for me. He even bought me a pack of laxatives and told me to take double the regular dosage. He tells me we weigh the same (he's 70 lbs heavier) and once gave me a man's shirt in his size for Christmas figuring I needed the extra room. I haven't even told him I'm trying to lose because I know he'll say what he always does, which is that I might as well give up because I'll never be able to stick to any diet.
I know I shouldn't listen to him, but it still really hurts coming from my dad.
Tell your dad he is an A-Hole and most likely the reason you must now work so hard to get healthy and feel better.
Oh how I want to smash (Hulk Smash!) people like that!!!!!! Most often those of us who have eaten too much for too long do so for reasons like which you describe and while I WILL NOT use an excuse for my own weight gain -- I did it, no one else -- I also know that fathers who abuse their children cause much of the problems they later face.
So @##@#!@ Him.
Sorry for the rant, but you can overcome it!!! To hell with him and everyone else (say it! Repeat after me: scr*w them!). You're the better person and always will be.
Keep up the good work!
Erik0
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