Alcohol & Smoking: Advice?

Hey all,

I'm embarking on a fairly comprehensive rethinking of my lifestyle. I've started working out regularly and am joining a gym tomorrow so I can have access to everything I need to get healthy. That being said, I feel there are two major barriers to my future success and I was wondering if anyone has advice on how to deal with them.

Alcohol and smoking are the two main issues I'm concerned with. Although I don't intend to quit drinking altogether, I fully intend to stop smoking. My partner smokes though and it is very difficult after a difficult day (who am I kidding, any day) to resist the nicotine craving when someone is smoking 2 meters away on the balcony. Has anyone dealt with similar problems and does anyone have some suggestions; how have those of you who have smoked approached quitting or going cold turkey?

The second issue, as mentioned, is alcohol. I don't want to give it up as I enjoy it, its good for your health in moderation, and my culture (I'm Irish) is intertwined with some degree of drinking. I believe I could easily cut back on my own, but my friends drink quite heavily and I feel a bit awkward if I don't participate. Its not that I capitulate to peer pressure, its just when I don't drink out I feel like I'm not fully in on the action or fun. How have you guys dealt with drinking in group contexts without compromising your enjoyment of the night out/activity?

Sorry for the long text! Thanks for any help!

Cheers,

James

Replies

  • naterciarodrigues58
    naterciarodrigues58 Posts: 105 Member
    Hey,

    I think for both alcohol and smoking it goes the same way as with food - will power. If you really want to quit, you will.

    Now, about the smoking, I can understand that it must be difficult to quit the addiction. I do smoke every now and then but I am fortunate enough that never in my life did I ever feel the NEED to smoke, I'm absolutely fine without it. However, I've seen my dad struggle to quit for YEARS, and so many times he has done so, but then he goes back to it. On the other hand, my grandfather once came home saying "I'll never smoke again" - and he never did. From two 20 packs a day to zero just like that. My dad tried substitute it with gum, or even started collecting the money of a pack everytime he felt like buying one and after a couple of years, he bough a car with it !!! (after a few months of having the car he went back to smoking, though). So what I'm saying is - find either a substitute or a mechanism that rewards you for not doing it. Or just go brave and just STOP.

    As for drinking - I do drink too, and no way I'm giving it up all together, I enjoy it every now and then. The way I see it, though, even if I'm with friends, is that I don't need to be falling on my face to enjoy the party (been there, done that, not anymore lol). I do drink quite a bit on ocasion, and do enjoy myself but, in fact, I go out so rarely that I believe it doesn't harm me to let myself go a bit when I do. Just go out less, maybe? Once a week, or once every two weeks keeps your social life intact and makes you drink much less than if you go out more regularly.

    Hope this helps, sorry for the big text!
  • JustPeachy044
    JustPeachy044 Posts: 770 Member
    Smoking is not something i have ever done besides a bit of sampling when I was sowing my wild oats. But I'd say definitely do everything you can to give it up. Maybe you will inspire your partner? In the meantime, I know there are all kinds of things, from patches to gum to fake cigarettes to help you kick the habit. Few things worth doing are easy.

    As for the drinking, I don't see the need to give it up completely. You are in control of when and how much you drink. You can declare yourself the designated driver also, that is a valid and commendable reason not to drink. I say decide how much you are going to have before you party, then quit at your limit or before. You can drink NA beers, or find an alternate beverage to be holding in your hand if you feel the need to. I have personally come to view food and drink as fuel...beer is loaded with empty calories you might come to detest. Hopefully your friends are man enough to let you be...maybe think of some snappy one liners to come back with if and when they comment on your lighter drinking. You can have almost more fun watching others anyway.

    Good luck!
  • James_Bergin
    James_Bergin Posts: 84 Member
    Thanks for then big message! I really appreciate the advice on the smoking; I'm going to try to quit outright. As for drinking I'm already down to once a week or biweekly, it just feels so hard on my body! Thanks for the pep though :)
  • James_Bergin
    James_Bergin Posts: 84 Member
    Haha, I like the idea of snappy one-liner retorts! Got any ideas? As for watching my friends get drunk, I don't think that's a recipe for success as it just makes me either want to drink more or mother them. I agree that most things worth doing don't come easy though; I think I'm going to have to really bite the bullet on the smoking. The e-cigarrets and gum have never worked for me, so I'm hoping my physical at the gym tomorrow will show me just how out of breathe the smoking has made me and give me the impetus to go cold turkey. I'll have to wait and see. On the bright side I just flushed my pack; and I've never done that before. Here's hoping it was $10 well spent toward a healthier life! Thanks for the tips and advice guys!

    Cheers,

    James
  • I love my vaporizer..I use 24 mg oil and there are dozens of flavors! So many people have quit using this method! Although it's still nicotine, it's far less harmful than smoking. About alcohol-I don't exactly know what to say because for me it's all or nothing. I'm not just your average drinker or even a heavy drinker-I'm an alcoholic. I haven't had a drink in 7 1/2 years now. I get how you feel when you're sober and everyone around you is drunk! It's as if everyone is having fun and connecting and I've missed the joke..good luck with your goals!
  • aquarabbit
    aquarabbit Posts: 1,622 Member
    I definitely think that smoking is worse than the drinking. The way that I quit was to kind of hypnotize myself. I'd think of kid's covered in spit and toenail clippings the entire time I was smoking. Eventually I would get grossed out by even lighting up. As far as drinking, I refuse to not enjoy my beer, whiskey, or vodka. I love cooking with wine too. Maybe try to go for the clear stuff. Ron Swanson says it's for rich women on diets. And they look pretty good! I do find that the darker the liquid, the worse it tends to be for you. Shame, because I love dark, bitter beer and my husband is a big scotch drinker. Just limit it, don't cut it out. I find that's the quickest way to really crave something.
  • grimendale
    grimendale Posts: 2,153 Member
    As a Scotch-Irishman, I hear you on the alcohol front. I'm friends with a lot of ex-punks, all of whom drink heavily. I usually try to set aside a day or two a month to go out with friends and drink without concern about the calories (my Irish cheat day) so as to not feel excluded. Otherwise, I usually content myself with a very good beer or two so that I can justify to myself slowing down and savoring the beer rather than throwing back shots. That way, I still get to participate in the social event, but I don't blow my calories out of the water.
  • James_Bergin
    James_Bergin Posts: 84 Member
    Thanks!

    It should be easy enough to switch to clear as gin, vodka, and pale ales are my favourites already! As for smoking, it already grosses me out but I've still had major trouble quitting. I feel like I'll be going nowhere with the smoking unless I simplvy stop. I don't think gradually cutting back is going to work for me. Just hoping I have the will to stop at this point...

    As for the calories, alcohol isn't really s concern for me, though perhaps it should be. Its more about me wanting to look after my general health and in feel alcohol consumption is interfering with that. I suppose it amounts to the same thing though; cutting back. Again the major problem is that only drinking a couple of beers kind of leaves me out of the crowd when they're knocking back drinks with impunity :(
    Thanks for feedback everyone, again!

    Cheers,

    James
  • BeTheFire
    BeTheFire Posts: 102 Member
    Thank you for not using the word "journey" anywhere in your text. Pet peeve of mine.
  • TheFitnessTutor
    TheFitnessTutor Posts: 356 Member
    Well I wish you the best. I would say don't be afraid to seek professional help. Try nicotine gums/patches alternatives, anything besides puffing. E cig...something. I don't smoke, except the super occasional cigar. I do drink about every weekend. But I don't subscribe to the idea that alcohol is good for the body in moderation. That's just complete nonsense bred in the industry. The body does enough fermenting and by this logic, one is saying that all else equal, the human body runs at it's most optimal level when alcohol is consumed. This is just nonsense some lobbyists helped get into the minds of people to help the alcohol industry. Complete with half assed and biased "research data." Complete rubbish.

    With that being said, again. Good luck.
  • Donners185
    Donners185 Posts: 329 Member
    You should definitely try an electronic cigarette. I quit in Jan 12 and I used one of these. You can get them all over Ireland so it should be easy enough to find. I was a really heavy smoker and it really helps when you are around other smokers because you can still join in. You can slowly reduce the strength and stop completely when you are ready. Doing some really heavy cardio made me realise just how out of breath I was due to smoking. A spin class nearly killed me when I joined the gym. I just couldn't breathe!!! Good luck!!!

    As for drinking I have just cut back. I still go out every week but I just don't have a carry out and try not to go too mad when I go out. I try to stick to cider and west coast cooler rose, etc. By the end of the night I'm still rightly and have good craic but I'm not too hungover and can still make good food choices and work out the next day. Plus the more drunk I get the more I want to party and I just end up drinking all night! Which is never good :(
  • ron2e
    ron2e Posts: 606
    I gave up smoking 20+ years ago, and is the principal reason I put on so much weight, food just tasted so damned good! I still enjoy my alcohol, though I've given up the Guinness (I'm of Irish extraction though born in Scotland!) and moved to malt whisky/whiskey. 200 calories for a pint as against 65ish for a shot is no contest!

    Good luck with giving up smoking, it can be done, I am living proof!!
  • bobf279
    bobf279 Posts: 342 Member
    Go to a smoking cessation clinic (usually free) and take their advice. I went along used patches for 3 weeks then found they weren't really helping much so stopped them too, that was 3 and half years ago. May not be that easy for everyone but I really wanted to stop and that gave me the determination.

    I have had a few drinks in my time but these days I just drink occasionally, I have never been a addicted to the drink so practicing moderation is easy.

    Apart from smoking I haven't deprived myself of anything during my weight loss journey and am slimmer and fitter as a result, this week I moved from obese to overweight in the BMI charts so it is working. Set your goals realistically and don't expect too much too soon. You may have to concentrate at changing 1 thing at a time which could be smoking then weight loss or if you are really fortunate you can combine both elements with some degree of success. Whatever improvements you make it will be worth it
  • anemoneprose
    anemoneprose Posts: 1,805 Member
    Oof, not drinking in Ireland.. um. Move? I kid. But, it's hard enough in North America... I think it might mean spending less time with your buds, and more time with different people, honestly. People who are into waking up at 5 am to do something sporty.

    I'm with you completely on the smoking problem. I'm a smoker, living with smokers. I actually think it's almost impossible to quit in this situation. Studies have shown that smokers are HIGHLY sensitive to cues. Lighters, ashtrays, definitely the sight of someone else smoking are massive triggers.

    I think you might need to have a discussion & get agreement from your gf to smoke outdoors. Charm/nag offensive, w/e you have to do. And be FIRM with it - no backsliding.

    And it helps if her agreement syncs up with your motivation. (I lost mine when I finally got agreement from my smokers :/ Working up to it again.)

    Yes, read Alan Carr, or use the patch (plus gum/lozenge, the combo's best) to help. But living with someone who smokes in the house, you're handicapping yourself, big time.

    Something I will do, when I'm ready, is redecorate. Hoping changing the environment as much as possible will help.

    Best of luck!

    ***
    If you're not drinking as much as the others, it will be hard to not feel alienated from that kind of fun, unfortunately. Maybe go, hang out for a bit, & leave early. That's what I do when I'm not drinking. It's ok, really :)
  • annakow
    annakow Posts: 385 Member
    I gave up smoking 4 years ago, never regreted, the best thing I have done in my life. I was a chain smoker for nearly 16 years. I do my wine fridays, I have a bottle of red wine 650 calories, I make sure I eat less on that day or exercise.
  • bobf279
    bobf279 Posts: 342 Member

    I'm with you completely on the smoking problem. I'm a smoker, living with smokers. I actually think it's almost impossible to quit in this situation. Studies have shown that smokers are HIGHLY sensitive to cues. Lighters, ashtrays, definitely the sight of someone else smoking are massive triggers.

    My wife has continued to smoke around me she is still on 40 a day and whilst it was hard while initially stopping it is still possible to quit with a smoking partner (you do notice how smoking smells on someone though).
  • TheVimFuego
    TheVimFuego Posts: 2,412 Member
    I can recommend Allan Carr's Easy Way book for the smokes.

    No advice to give on the booze :)
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  • anemoneprose
    anemoneprose Posts: 1,805 Member

    I'm with you completely on the smoking problem. I'm a smoker, living with smokers. I actually think it's almost impossible to quit in this situation. Studies have shown that smokers are HIGHLY sensitive to cues. Lighters, ashtrays, definitely the sight of someone else smoking are massive triggers.

    My wife has continued to smoke around me she is still on 40 a day and whilst it was hard while initially stopping it is still possible to quit with a smoking partner (you do notice how smoking smells on someone though).

    That's wonderful! Good to know it can be done.

    I have done well in the past - had quit for 1.5 yrs; then for 5 months; another time, for 6 - but only when in supportive environments. Or, when the place I lived in was a non-smoking place from the start. Finding it v hard now, since I've smoked in this place from the first day.

    @k9education: that's terrible, about your dog :(
  • James_Bergin
    James_Bergin Posts: 84 Member
    Hey again everyone,

    Thanks for all the advice, feedback, and inspiration! Looks like I need to give the patch a go and see if it works our better than the nicotine gum. As for the electronic cigarettes, they simply don't do it for me I'm afraid.

    I'm really looking forward to the gym tomorrow. I know its gonna be a scary wake up call in terms of how smoking has affected me but from the sounds of things, those of you who have struggled and succeeded in quitting are happy to have done so. Hopefully ill be able to pull through as well!

    Good point on the triggers as well. I feel like a major problem for me is going to be getting past those. Every day for the last three years I've had a smoke with my morning coffee and I feel like it will be getting past those little hurdles that will be most difficult. Anyone got any advice on how they have or would deal with such smoking inducing cues? Also, so sorry for your dog, that's terrible. I'm glad he/she helped you get to an point where you could quit though. Its actually quite a heart warming story to be honest
    Thanks again everyone.

    PS: I'm glad this has stimulated some discussion, a lot of my friends who don't smoke underwrite how difficult it is too stop; its really great to have some discussion with people who have gone through it and know the pitfalls. Thanks again everyone.

    Cheers
  • Sagefemme76
    Sagefemme76 Posts: 45 Member
    Best of luck with your mission. It certainly sounds as though you're in the right head space to be doing this, so you're already on the path to success :)
    I quit in Jan 2012, Cold Turkey....just decided that I was going to do it this time. I used a phone app called Quit Now which really helped...I still have it on my phone and sometimes still check it to see how much healthier and richer I am now ;) My husband was also a smoker. I didn't ask him to quit with me, I just decided that I wanted to do it regardless of what those around me were up to. However, he switched to the e-cig and now only uses it occasionally (apparently he was worried that I'd be turned off by him smelling of smoke.....clever guy). So, now we breathe a lot easier and finances are way better.....it's such an expensive habit.
    We also hit the booze pretty hard (he's Irish too) but I'm tackling that habit now. I decided to go completely dry for 3 months and then see if I could limit drinking to weekends, social occasions etc. It has been easier than I thought....first week was pretty tough, though. I was so used to coming home and pouring a large glass of wine lol. I'm now 11 weeks in and, to be honest, not fussed about going back to drinking. I think I might even leave it a bit longer
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  • KANGOOJUMPS
    KANGOOJUMPS Posts: 6,474 Member
    I quit smoking and am now a runner.
    But, I will NOT quit drinking.
  • Mismis28
    Mismis28 Posts: 36 Member
    Hey James!

    I am contemplating making the same changes you are going to. I live in Finland, if you look it up we have the highest alcohol consumption in universities and that's where I am, or will be again in fall. I've tried quitting smokes many times, I think my record was 2 months and then I just felt like "whatever" and started again..
    Feel free to add me, I would love to hear about your progress with this!!
  • James_Bergin
    James_Bergin Posts: 84 Member
    Thanks again everyone,

    I'll do my best to change my habits in the mean time and see how that plays out. I'm a bit worried that certain people in my life are triggers themselves. Hopefully they'll work with me rather than against but time will tell.

    Thanks for the tip on walking; I've started walking pretty much everywhere and its been great. I've seen so many parts of Toronto that I didn't even know existed! Its been a real eye opener and I feel like I might really be able to make this work!

    Cheers James

    PS: I get where your coming from being in university. I studied architecture and all my classmates smoked like chimneys. Loved the people and the course but I'm really glad I'm out now. Its made it much easier to even contemplate quitting. I think the best you can do is talk to the people you regularly smoke with and try and get them on board with what you're doing and to not enable you. I hope it works out :D