Keep getting off the wagon. How do I stay on?

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I was good on MFP for about 2 weeks. Lost 4 pounds and regained it all back in a week just before I got my monthly visit.
I feel so miserable, hopeless and helpless. I've been trying to lose 30 pounds that I've accumulated after my 4th child. I'm 5'3" so any pound gained really shows. I've tried all diets from Jenny, weight watchers, the Duncan diet and I still can't get a grip on it. I'm starting to think that I really can't do it but I can't give up because I know I will just keep packing on the pounds. Feel so down. Any suggestions, advice will be really appreciated. Thx

Replies

  • stardancer7
    stardancer7 Posts: 276 Member
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    Think of this as a lifestyle change to improve your health. Make accurately tracking every bite that you eat your first priority. Get a scale to weigh your food and enter everything, no matter what sort of decisions you make in a day around eating. I found that making small goals--eating five servings of fruits and veggies before anything else in a day, for example, was one that really helped me. Exercise will make you feel better, but you will see a lot of results just with adjusting your eating. Don't eat anything that you don't love--I stopped adding cream to my coffee, because I didn't figure it was worth the calories. Even when you have a 'bad' day--scarfing down a 200gr bag of chips was something I regularly did--enter every calorie--it's actually never as bad as you fear it was. Good luck!
  • stardancer7
    stardancer7 Posts: 276 Member
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    And don't be dejected about not consistently losing with big numbers...it's not always a linear process! I plateaued for about six weeks at one point, and finally took my measurements and realized that I'd lost 5 3/4 inches from my waist. Just focus on your health, one little choice at a time, and trust the math. You will do it!
  • 150tif
    150tif Posts: 22 Member
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    Think of this as a lifestyle change to improve your health. Make accurately tracking every bite that you eat your first priority. Get a scale to weigh your food and enter everything, no matter what sort of decisions you make in a day around eating. I found that making small goals--eating five servings of fruits and veggies before anything else in a day, for example, was one that really helped me. Exercise will make you feel better, but you will see a lot of results just with adjusting your eating. Don't eat anything that you don't love--I stopped adding cream to my coffee, because I didn't figure it was worth the calories. Even when you have a 'bad' day--scarfing down a 200gr bag of chips was something I regularly did--enter every calorie--it's actually never as bad as you fear it was. Good luck!

    Yes, this!!! Through the research I've done everything tells me to make choices that fit your lifestyle. If you struggle with maintaining a "diet" (hate that word, makes it seem short term and this process is NOT short term) then it doesn't fit your lifestyle. Never deprive yourself, just don't go overboard and binge. Good luck :-)
  • Amid123
    Amid123 Posts: 5
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    Thank you so much. I need some support right now to keep me going :)
  • swbabe33
    swbabe33 Posts: 21 Member
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    Change one thing at a time. Live with it for a few days, then add something to it. If you want to lose the 30 lbs, you have to do something. I sabotaged myself last week and I didn't like how I felt. It is hard and it is work, but you can do it. There are great stories on MFP that are really helping me stay focused. I'm not perfect, but I accepting progress away from where I was towards where I want to be.
  • rcirlin
    rcirlin Posts: 1
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    I fell for all the stuff people other than the dietician was telling me. It's not her responsibility. She gave me the tools. The fact that she had to drive herself crazy meeting her "responsibility" to me was foolish. I have to accept the responsibility for a poorly trained childhood.
  • lcyama
    lcyama Posts: 209 Member
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    It has only been a few weeks. It took a long time to put on the weight -- it will take time for it to come off. It takes three weeks of consistency to gain new habits. Stick with it, and don't beat yourself up over every little setback. You can do this!
  • airforcewife1007
    airforcewife1007 Posts: 35 Member
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    What's helped me is knowing and coming to terms with the fact that it is going to take me a long time to get where I want to be. It helps a lot to have friends on MFP that log consistently and are commenting, messaging, etc...just being supportive. But with that being said, you have to return the favor AND be sure to log consistently as well. I didn't use the message boards or anything in the past when using MFP, but for the past month I've been utilizing the tools they offer, and I've now got a bunch of great supportive friends. They really do make the difference. I spend more time on here than on Facebook now. Feel free to add me! I'm always looking for new friends.
  • alisagriff
    alisagriff Posts: 3 Member
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    So sorry, I know how that is. Three weeks of hard work out the window with one week of PMS. A couple of things that worked for me was to first of all forgive yourself. allow yourself a few days to just eat whatever you are craving but journal it. You will notice the patterns Then try to manage the cravings. Like if chocolate is your thing, stock up on fat free/sugar free jello pudding. You can eat a whole bowl and the calories hit is less than half of a candy bar. I used to add fat free cool whip and it seemed decadent. If you like salty snacks, switch out the chips for the lower calories options like popcorn or non fat pringles. Then, when it's over, feel good about the fact that you stayed in control and still were able to satisfy your cravings. Get a good work out in and get back on your regular program. I found that I still lost weight Good luck
    A
  • callas444
    callas444 Posts: 261 Member
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    One thing I am working on is changing my attitude. I have to remember that one doughnut doesn't mean I am off track for the day. I am trying to not say " I screwed up so I may as well eat everything in sight today. Well, it's Friday and I have blown it so I may as well forget it and start new on Monday!" Maybe you can relate? It takes time to build habits, good or bad.

    Another thing that has helped me is getting a walk in most days. It makes me think twice about what I am eating so I don't negate the exercise. Above all we just have to want healthy more than we want the binge. I am in the same boat.
  • strawberrysweettea
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    Don't get discouraged. Eating right takes practice. Some of us just happen to need more practice than others. If you know what you should be eating, try to only keep those things readily available. If you find yourself struggling, try to write it down and analyze where you went wrong and try to come up with ways that you can correct it. Just keep working at it until you find something that works for you.
  • 628462
    628462 Posts: 58 Member
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    I was good on MFP for about 2 weeks. Lost 4 pounds and regained it all back in a week just before I got my monthly visit.
    I feel so miserable, hopeless and helpless. I've been trying to lose 30 pounds that I've accumulated after my 4th child. I'm 5'3" so any pound gained really shows. I've tried all diets from Jenny, weight watchers, the Duncan diet and I still can't get a grip on it. I'm starting to think that I really can't do it but I can't give up because I know I will just keep packing on the pounds. Feel so down. Any suggestions, advice will be really appreciated. Thx

    Same here. I know what I need to do, but I can't seem to stay on track!
  • aliasbee
    aliasbee Posts: 27
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    Don't try to trick yourself! It's important to keep things in perspective. We females get bloaty around "that time of the month" that includes more weight. Take a bigger sample of time to understand your weight trend. See if the same thing happens next month. Treat it like a science experiment. And remember it's not good to lose weight too fast.

    (I've dropped 20lbs in an extremely short amount of time through bad habits and overwork, believe me you just gain it back plus some in the next months)

    Here are things I use to keep myself on track.

    -changing your diet takes time and effort and counting calories to lose weight is a temporary solution. After you drop those pounds you will need to maintain a healthy diet. If you want to eat more you just have to decide to be active enough to do it.

    -making a mistake doesn't automatically make you fail, so be careful about saying "I already messed up so an extra cake slice isn't any worse"

    -Pretend it's not possible to eat more than your target calories. Haggle with yourself until you are happier with the decisions you've made. "Do I want this slice of cake or do I want dinner? Can I be happy eating 10% of this dessert and 80% of dinner?"

    -Try to be aware of the amount of nutrients your getting, are you crabby because you're low on something? Do you need to take vitamins with your meals or do you get enough?

    -Pick a day every week to not worry about it. Over time you'll get so used to the amounts you eat most of the time that you will start to eat more modestly even when you splurge.

    -KNOW that you will succeed. Maybe you won't do it in the exact time-frame you would like, but it doesn't matter that much because you are going to succeed.

    -Understand that there is no shame in asking friends and family members to help you out, or in having a close relationship with your doctor as you work on this. It's easier to get things done if you include other people in your plan (without pressuring them to change their lifestyle I hope!)

    -Find something you really like to eat/drink that has zero to very little calories. For me it's tea, sometimes with a little flavor or stevia When you feel bad, treat yourself to some of this and focus on how much you enjoy it, and isn't it great you could drink this all day?

    -If you find yourself obsessing over food, you could tell yourself "If I have time to worry, I have time to [thing that I've been procrastinating]" For me it's usually daily chores, but it could be anything, you're just changing the subject for a few minutes. It's usually long enough for me to forget whatever it was I was obsessing over.

    -If you really want something, don't deny yourself, plan it out. "Well if I have x minutes of exercise and reduce each meal by bla or substitute bla for bla, then I can afford to fit in this something or other" Chances are you'll either appreciate the food more, or you'll find you don't really want it that bad after all.

    Remember that any activity can count as exercise. You could start carrying your groceries around instead of pushing a cart (if you don't shop in bulk) You could walk to the store, you could make a point of pacing while you talk on the phone, you could take out the trash or sort things into recycling. Organizing shelves or clothes or rooms also is a good way to exercise. Just because something isn't in the database doesn't mean it doesn't count. Try to think about some things you'd like to do but couldn't get the motivation to do, know think about how much that thing might contribute towards your health goals and maybe it will be a lot easier.
  • Amid123
    Amid123 Posts: 5
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    Thank you sooo much. Knowing that there's caring and supportive people out there makes me feel like I'm not alone in this. Bless you for all your advice
  • horsewhisper91
    horsewhisper91 Posts: 456 Member
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    I've been down that road with the being annoyed over not seeing the weight coming off. And after the first 10 to 15 lbs it got really hard. But once I really put my mind to it, I got on track with healthier eating. Two main ways I did it, no more soda and replace one meal with a full bowl of fruit. In less than two months, I've seen double as many lbs coming off in a short time as I did to lose the first ten in like four months.

    As my doctor put it, it's all about will power. As long as you really want it, the determination will kick in. And support is definitely a big part of it. That and really keeping yourself on track.

    Once you start yourself on a diet of healthy foods and train you mind to a new set of what you want to eat and how you workout, you will find it being a habit of eating and buying the healthier foods. And the exercising won't feel like work.

    We are here to support you!! If I can lose almost 30 lbs in under a year, you can too!! :)
  • candylilacs
    candylilacs Posts: 614 Member
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    My therapist says that if you "fall off the wagon" at least enjoy it. Don't beat yourself up over it, and move on. Start again.

    I'm hitting a rough patch after three weeks. I'm losing weight, but I'm just tired of it all. It's also a week before my period, so it could be that I'm just cranky.

    Secondly, realize that you can retain 5 pounds of water during your period, so I wouldn't weigh myself around then. I frequently would retain water (and I also ate salty foods!) so I learned to just take that into account. Try to stay away from salty foods around that time to keep retaining to a minimum.

    Good luck!
  • joetalk
    joetalk Posts: 37 Member
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    i dont know what more i can add to the already awesome suggestions, but the one that i had to make, after getting just plain angry was the choice to actually DO SOMETHING

    i spent 3 years on the up and down rollocoster from diet to diet as well, then realized that the moment i stopped it all came back

    the only way i have successfully lost any weight to date is by moving my body, and for a lazy sod like me that was hard

    once i found the determination and true desire to change.... i started with a few minute walk at the end of every day, even if it was only a walk around the block taking 10 mins

    doing that daily till it was habit, after a month of daily movement, i wanted more....

    your body craves the endorphin's that are created from high amounts of physical stress... "exercise" so give it .. and reap the benefits, as it feels great once accustom...

    i wish i had nicer or softer words but if you want it, show yourself your determination by sacrificing the time and making the effort..

    get that body moving and before you know it, you will want more... I PROMISE :)

    mix that movement with well tracked and informed eating habits and the weight will take care of itself...
  • Ragazza_Rachel
    Ragazza_Rachel Posts: 2 Member
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    One of the ways I keep motivated is Pinterest. At times, looking at all the skinny jeans and cute short dresses is only depressing as it is a reminder of how far I have to go. But, that is when I type in "exercise inspiration" or "fitness motivation" and all the positivity starts kicking into gear. I also found friends, both "real" and online who I am accountable to. We encourage each other and celebrate success together. For example, we will go out to dinner by going grocery shopping to make the best, low cal salad the world has ever seen. My point is, find stimulating, fun things. Seek out motivation and don't expect it to come to you. Lastly, be accountable to a person who is going through this process too. Good luck! You have me cheering for you.
  • beautifulasib
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    i struggle with the same thing. it is all about willpower and let me tell you i have none. i just refuse to waist anymore money on fad diets ie:weight wathcers la weightloss. i am doing the work outs zumba 2x a week walking and running on the track 3x a week. the scale is showing me slow results by i am down 2 pants sizes.
  • DocMarr
    DocMarr Posts: 132 Member
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    I agree with all of the above. Thinking on this as a 'diet' dooms you to failure, because if you 'go on a diet' then you can 'come off a diet' -and as soon as you do, you immediately start to 'reward' yourself (usually by bingeing on all the foods you denied yourself while 'on a diet') and put the weight back on.

    I spent 14 years of my life on a diet/binge cycle and always ended up bigger than before I started the diet. It wasn't until I stopped dieting and decided that 'this is the way I eat all the time' that I managed to gain long term control of my weight.

    A couple of more suggestions to the already excellent ones above:

    Think 'long term sustainability' and not just in the 'short term'. This is a lifestyle change and it won't happen overnight. Suggestions above, to change one thing at a time, will soon all add up to a healthier lifestyle that you can keep on forever more.

    Don't cut your calories too low. I found that eating just under maintenance levels was the place where I drifted down. Keeping your calories too low will mean that you will deprive yourself and make yourself hungry, which will make you more likely to obsess and more likely to push you to binge.

    In line with that, I have found the 80/20 rule invaluable. 80% of my food intake is wholesome and healthy but I allow up to 20% of my calories to be slightly more indulgent. This means I learn to moderate my intake of unhealthy food but it doesn't dominate my food intake. It means you can still have the occasional McDonalds, cake, candy (or whatever you crave) but you learn to keep it within tighter boundaries (Caveat: if there are some foods you can't handle in moderation at all, then best eliminate them for a while - for me it['s crisps (potato chips) so those I do without altogether as I can't handle them in moderation).

    Also realise the importance of exercise in weight loss and keeping a healthy body. The more you exercise, the more calories you have to eat :-)

    Finally - scales are a very rough tool of progress - they really are only useful for monitoring long term trends rather than short term because so many things can affect what you weigh on a daily basis (salt, TOM, quantity of food, whether you've been to the loo etc etc)- so use other measure of success, like fat % and the tape measure and you are more likely to see progress.

    Good luck on your lifestyle change - it really is not until you get your head round that idea that you will have long term success - but keep going. Even if you take two steps forward and one step back, you will still be making forward progress if you keep pushing in that direction. Eventually you can look back and see just how far you've come!