Is it okay to give up on a goal?

TaureanWoman · July 2013

Hello MFP friends,

This morning I decided that I'm giving up my weight loss goal. After losing 10lbs over the course of 6 months, I gained back 4lbs within a month. I realize I may not have it in me to reach my goal, my lifestyle and motivation level doesn't lend itself to staying focused. I will just focus on maintaining my current weight, exercising three times a week and eating healthier. If weight loss happens, then okay but it's been 5 years and I can't seem to lose the weight. I'm disappointed but I'm feeling like coming to terms with giving up that goal. I've even began cleaning out my closets and drawers to give away clothes I've been hoping to get into, to make room for bigger clothes that fit. Does this make sense or am I just making excuses? Anyone else have this experience?

Sheila_KI · July 2013

Since the scale is a discouragement for you, don't focus on the number. Focus on your measurements. Continue to monitor and log your food and exercise. I know from experience that when I don't log my "old" habits gradually creep back in. My weight is about the same as it was this time last year, but I am in a size smaller. If you need support, please send me a friend request.

SpleenThief · July 2013

Short answer - it depends.

Not all goals are reachable, nor should they be. Goals should be right on the edge of our limits, sometimes just outside. Throw yourself at it, bang your head against the mountain and see what collapses first.

If it's just not doable (not everyone can run a 6:00 mile no matter how hard they try), can you look back and say you gave it your all? Do you look back and say you pushed at it for a while, but it wasn't fun anymore so you stopped?

Ultimately, this is about your relationship with yourself. what do you want and what are you willing to do to get it? It all boils down to being comfortable with your decisions.

jkirby79 · July 2013

I think it's really important that we set goals in many aspects of our lives and do everything we can to achieve them. I would encourage you to keep persevering and don't give up. With that said, sometimes goals need revising. Maybe you can create some short term goals in addition to your long term goals to make it a little easier to see what you are actually achieving. I think you will be glad you did!

nuriah711 · July 2013

Get a pen and paper, get a measuring tap and write down your measurements once a week, same time and day each week!

You need to remember that muscle weighs more than fat so you could weigh the same but your body shape would have changed.
It'll be more motivating for you to take down your measurements because that's the place you'll see more visible results than standing on the scales.

Don't give up! No pain no gain!

luvinna · July 2013

Get a pen and paper, get a measuring tap and write down your measurements once a week, same time and day each week!

You need to remember that muscle weighs more than fat so you could weigh the same but your body shape would have changed.
It'll be more motivating for you to take down your measurements because that's the place you'll see more visible results than standing on the scales.

Don't give up! No pain no gain!

Exactly! From June 1 to July 5 I only lost 3 pounds. But, I lost 1/2" on my waist, 3/4" on my hips, 1/4" on my thighs and 1/2" on my calves.

And you don't even need a pen and paper. You can set up MFP to track the measurements for you. (My Home -> Check-in -> Track Additional Measurements)

I hope you don't give up. Maybe your goal just needs to be tweaked. :flowerforyou:

bookworm_847 · July 2013

Since the scale is a discouragement for you, don't focus on the number. Focus on your measurements. Continue to monitor and log your food and exercise. I know from experience that when I don't log my "old" habits gradually creep back in. My weight is about the same as it was this time last year, but I am in a size smaller. If you need support, please send me a friend request.

So very much this.

Though the scale doesn't say what I'd like it to by this time, I look and feel a lot better than I did the last time I was at this weight. What really counts (IMO) are the measurements, how your clothes fit, and most important, how you feel.

It's just part of my personality, but I don't give up on goals. That doesn't mean I won't change them though if it seems like it's the right thing to do. It sounds like you're just modifying your goal as opposed to giving up altogether. Giving up would mean forgetting everything you've learned and done here and letting your hard work be undone. You said you'd like to maintain and keep exercising. I think that is a great and very realistic goal. I wish you luck!

wbandel · July 2013

"Give up" sounds wrong, I think you mean alter. Which is totally fine. It sounds like you have a great plan put together to keep staying healthy and taking care of yourself. It's your life, if you feel like you're living it the way you want, then don't worry about it. You'd know if you were betraying yourself by "giving up".

Maybe try writing down a list of what you'd like to be in five years, or be able to do. If weight isn't related to those goals, then it's probably not that important to focus on.

healthyKYgirl · July 2013

Sometimes our goals change. It sounds like your goal is changing from losing weight to maintaining. There's nothing wrong with that. You know yourself best. If you feel like right now is not the time for the goal of weight loss, then focus on what's important for you now. Eating healthier and maintaining are just as good of a goal for you and something you want to accomplish. Don't worry about changing goals; things in life change, and goals change all the time. I wouldn't call it giving up, just a change in direction of where you want to go. Good luck on whatever goals you decide to pursue.

RHSheetz · July 2013

Hello MFP friends,

This morning I decided that I'm giving up my weight loss goal. After losing 10lbs over the course of 6 months, I gained back 4lbs within a month. I realize I may not have it in me to reach my goal, my lifestyle and motivation level doesn't lend itself to staying focused. I will just focus on maintaining my current weight, exercising three times a week and eating healthier. If weight loss happens, then okay but it's been 5 years and I can't seem to lose the weight. I'm disappointed but I'm feeling like coming to terms with giving up that goal. I've even began cleaning out my closets and drawers to give away clothes I've been hoping to get into, to make room for bigger clothes that fit. Does this make sense or am I just making excuses? Anyone else have this experience?

So, are you doing your best but not seeing results, or are you struggling with sticking to your plan? It is unclear to me which is the issue. If you are having trouble sticking to your plan, start looking at a Long term goal and set small steps to reach it. Maybe focus on eating less processed foods, and do it for a month. Maybe you have a trigger food, and you set a goal to stop eating it. Personally, I don't think you should ever give up on your goal, maybe you just need to adjust your actions to get to your goal.

TaureanWoman · July 2013

Wow, this is amazing feedback, thank you so much, friends!

My issues is that I have been struggling with sticking to my plan. I've tried different things, I may make gains but then I go back to square one. So I am thinking that altering the goal to something I think is more attainable might be the best way to go. Funny thing is, though I am mostly disappointed in myself, part of me feels at peace after I had this thought. I don't know maybe it's out of frustration, but I have looked back on my goals every year (I have notebooks and journals that I keep with my yearly goals) and it's the same thing: reach 138lbs, which is a healthy weight for my height and size. I have not even been close. Have I given it my all...at times, yes - I go hard, but for the most part no, because I just don't feel like it sometimes. Sigh...Now as I write this I am beginning to feel like I am accepting defeat.

What I am hearing from you all is that I should at least try to give it my all before altering my goal, maybe change the strategy a bit. But that it is okay to alter/change (not give up :-) my goal even if it's just maintaining my weight.

Thank you again for your feedback. I will definitely refer back to this post. I will try to take it one day at a time and get back on track.

Is it okay to give up on a goal?

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