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Shortening my sprinter's femurs?
LiftAllThePizzas
Posts: 17,857 Member
Don't get me wrong, I like being fast and if I had to choose between being too fast or being too slow, just call me Usain Bolt. However, since I'm not a world-class tennis sprinter, I 'd like to shorten my femurs and look more manly.
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Replies
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All you need is a chainsaw and a sewing kit.0
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What if you just lengthened the rest of your body to match?
Like do pilates, but not with your legs. Only arm and core pilates? Don't work your legs at all during your workout.....then your arms and torso will get lengthened but your legs will stay proportional?0 -
I'm sure you can get put on a Femur Transplant list for people that don't need theirs anymore or desire to have longer ones.0
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Definitely don't do yoga, pilates or take up swimming. Those all make your legs longer.0
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Just do squats. Isn't that why they're called "squats". Because they make you squat?
squat·tersquat·test
Definition of SQUAT
1
: sitting with the haunches close above the heels
2
a : low to the ground
b : marked by disproportionate shortness or thickness0 -
C4 works best0
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You need to eat more white carbs. Rice, potato, breads.0
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Or glue. Krazy Glue.All you need is a chainsaw and a sewing kit.0 -
Just do squats. Isn't that why they're called "squats". Because they make you squat?
squat·tersquat·test
Definition of SQUAT
1
: sitting with the haunches close above the heels
2
a : low to the ground
b : marked by disproportionate shortness or thickness
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I'm honestly not sure if this post is serious...
Just in case it is - OP, you're using the wrong terminology. Your femur is your thigh bone and there is no way to shorten (or lengthen) it once you're a full grown adult. Unless, as others have suggested, you use some sort of explosive of cutting tool or get surgery.
Do you mean you want your thighs to be bulkier? In that case, the squat suggestion is spot on.
P.S. However, you won't build muscle on a calorie deficit, or at least no more than a bit of newbie gains. You're pretty close to goal now so maybe look into doing some bulk/cut cycles?0 -
I'm honestly not sure if this post is serious...
Just in case it is - OP, you're using the wrong terminology. Your femur is your thigh bone and there is no way to shorten (or lengthen) it once you're a full grown adult. Unless, as others have suggested, you use some sort of explosive of cutting tool or get surgery.
Do you mean you want your thighs to be bulkier? In that case, the squat suggestion is spot on.
P.S. However, you won't build muscle on a calorie deficit, or at least no more than a bit of newbie gains. You're pretty close to goal now so maybe look into doing some bulk/cut cycles?
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1040979-de-bulking-athletic-butt-thighs0 -
Don't get me wrong, I like being fast and if I had to choose between being too fast or being too slow, just call me Usain Bolt. However, since I'm not a world-class tennis sprinter, I 'd like to shorten my femurs and look more manly.
I-I love you.
No homo.0 -
The key is maintaining a consistent calcium deficit, but not going too low, or you'll go into brittle mode.0
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All you need is a chainsaw and a sewing kit.
And a world class surgeon like I had to shorten my left leg!!
I basically had the choice of having 1.5" removed or
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aRpkpyd_ZW4
My surgeon actually studied at this guy's (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gavriil_Abramovich_Ilizarov) clinic in Serbia!!0 -
Can I have what you manage to lose? Cause I could use an inch of two; I'm not saying being short is awful but honestly it's kind of disgusting and makes me lack grace, you know? Also I can't see the top of my refrigerator.0
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Compact the hell out of your muscle...I mean muscles. I hear that will lengthen other parts so your femurs won't look so long.Don't get me wrong, I like being fast and if I had to choose between being too fast or being too slow, just call me Usain Bolt. However, since I'm not a world-class tennis sprinter, I 'd like to shorten my femurs and look more manly.0 -
Can I have what you manage to lose? Cause I could use an inch of two; I'm not saying being short is awful but honestly it's kind of disgusting and makes me lack grace, you know? Also I can't see the top of my refrigerator.
It's not your legs that are making you lack grace.....it's your butt
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Can I have what you manage to lose? Cause I could use an inch of two; I'm not saying being short is awful but honestly it's kind of disgusting and makes me lack grace, you know? Also I can't see the top of my refrigerator.
You don't want to see the top of your refrigerator. Unless you are a 50s stay-at-home-wife and you actually clean up there.
Wait. I'm confused. Which thread is this?0 -
Can I have what you manage to lose? Cause I could use an inch of two; I'm not saying being short is awful but honestly it's kind of disgusting and makes me lack grace, you know? Also I can't see the top of my refrigerator.
It's not your legs that are making you lack grace.....it's your butt
This makes sense; my butt is considerable AND I'm very clumsy. The logic seems to check out. I'm going to go find my mom and make her take these genes backs right now.Can I have what you manage to lose? Cause I could use an inch of two; I'm not saying being short is awful but honestly it's kind of disgusting and makes me lack grace, you know? Also I can't see the top of my refrigerator.
You don't want to see the top of your refrigerator. Unless you are a 50s stay-at-home-wife and you actually clean up there.
Wait. I'm confused. Which thread is this?
But my husband hides my allowance up there!0 -
The key is maintaining a consistent calcium deficit, but not going too low, or you'll go into brittle mode.
FTW0 -
Can I have what you manage to lose? Cause I could use an inch of two; I'm not saying being short is awful but honestly it's kind of disgusting and makes me lack grace, you know? Also I can't see the top of my refrigerator.
It's not your legs that are making you lack grace.....it's your butt
This makes sense; my butt is considerable AND I'm very clumsy. The logic seems to check out. I'm going to go find my mom and make her take these genes backs right now.Can I have what you manage to lose? Cause I could use an inch of two; I'm not saying being short is awful but honestly it's kind of disgusting and makes me lack grace, you know? Also I can't see the top of my refrigerator.
You don't want to see the top of your refrigerator. Unless you are a 50s stay-at-home-wife and you actually clean up there.
Wait. I'm confused. Which thread is this?
But my husband hides my allowance up there!
Well, ask him to hide it in the bread drawer. Then, you'll find it when you're making him a sammich.0 -
The key is maintaining a consistent calcium deficit, but not going too low, or you'll go into brittle mode.
Pssssh. It's called "osteoporosis mode."
Amateur.0 -
I wish my femurs would grow like that, but I can’t get there even eating 3,467 calories a day. You desire a different body type than I, and that enrages me.0
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Can I have what you manage to lose? Cause I could use an inch of two; I'm not saying being short is awful but honestly it's kind of disgusting and makes me lack grace, you know? Also I can't see the top of my refrigerator.
It's not your legs that are making you lack grace.....it's your butt
This makes sense; my butt is considerable AND I'm very clumsy. The logic seems to check out. I'm going to go find my mom and make her take these genes backs right now.Can I have what you manage to lose? Cause I could use an inch of two; I'm not saying being short is awful but honestly it's kind of disgusting and makes me lack grace, you know? Also I can't see the top of my refrigerator.
You don't want to see the top of your refrigerator. Unless you are a 50s stay-at-home-wife and you actually clean up there.
Wait. I'm confused. Which thread is this?
But my husband hides my allowance up there!
Well, ask him to hide it in the bread drawer. Then, you'll find it when you're making him a sammich.
a sammich? REALLY!?! He needs a hot meal prepared by the time he gets home from work, and don't forget to remove his shoes for him!0 -
Can I have what you manage to lose? Cause I could use an inch of two; I'm not saying being short is awful but honestly it's kind of disgusting and makes me lack grace, you know? Also I can't see the top of my refrigerator.
It's not your legs that are making you lack grace.....it's your butt
This makes sense; my butt is considerable AND I'm very clumsy. The logic seems to check out. I'm going to go find my mom and make her take these genes backs right now.Can I have what you manage to lose? Cause I could use an inch of two; I'm not saying being short is awful but honestly it's kind of disgusting and makes me lack grace, you know? Also I can't see the top of my refrigerator.
You don't want to see the top of your refrigerator. Unless you are a 50s stay-at-home-wife and you actually clean up there.
Wait. I'm confused. Which thread is this?
But my husband hides my allowance up there!
Well, ask him to hide it in the bread drawer. Then, you'll find it when you're making him a sammich.
a sammich? REALLY!?! He needs a hot meal prepared by the time he gets home from work, and don't forget to remove his shoes for him!
And the house should be cleaned, all distractions removed, and in the winter a fire ready for him to relax. Also, let him do whatever he wants and never question it - know your place as a wife. :flowerforyou:0 -
I'm honestly not sure if this post is serious...
Just in case it is - OP, you're using the wrong terminology. Your femur is your thigh bone and there is no way to shorten (or lengthen) it once you're a full grown adult. Unless, as others have suggested, you use some sort of explosive of cutting tool or get surgery.
Do you mean you want your thighs to be bulkier? In that case, the squat suggestion is spot on.
P.S. However, you won't build muscle on a calorie deficit, or at least no more than a bit of newbie gains. You're pretty close to goal now so maybe look into doing some bulk/cut cycles?
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1040979-de-bulking-athletic-butt-thighs
Phew! Thanks for the link!
0 -
Can I have what you manage to lose? Cause I could use an inch of two; I'm not saying being short is awful but honestly it's kind of disgusting and makes me lack grace, you know? Also I can't see the top of my refrigerator.
It's not your legs that are making you lack grace.....it's your butt
This makes sense; my butt is considerable AND I'm very clumsy. The logic seems to check out. I'm going to go find my mom and make her take these genes backs right now.Can I have what you manage to lose? Cause I could use an inch of two; I'm not saying being short is awful but honestly it's kind of disgusting and makes me lack grace, you know? Also I can't see the top of my refrigerator.
You don't want to see the top of your refrigerator. Unless you are a 50s stay-at-home-wife and you actually clean up there.
Wait. I'm confused. Which thread is this?
But my husband hides my allowance up there!
Well, ask him to hide it in the bread drawer. Then, you'll find it when you're making him a sammich.
a sammich? REALLY!?! He needs a hot meal prepared by the time he gets home from work, and don't forget to remove his shoes for him!
And the house should be cleaned, all distractions removed, and in the winter a fire ready for him to relax. Also, let him do whatever he wants and never question it - know your place as a wife. :flowerforyou:
The sammich is his after dinner snack....obviously. He needs something to eat while he's drinking a beer in his recliner. Dinner is on the table promptly when he walks in the door. It's hard work taking care of a man, but I try to keep my stamina up by lifting 2.5lb dumbbells. They're pink, of course.0 -
Can I have what you manage to lose? Cause I could use an inch of two; I'm not saying being short is awful but honestly it's kind of disgusting and makes me lack grace, you know? Also I can't see the top of my refrigerator.
It's not your legs that are making you lack grace.....it's your butt
This makes sense; my butt is considerable AND I'm very clumsy. The logic seems to check out. I'm going to go find my mom and make her take these genes backs right now.Can I have what you manage to lose? Cause I could use an inch of two; I'm not saying being short is awful but honestly it's kind of disgusting and makes me lack grace, you know? Also I can't see the top of my refrigerator.
You don't want to see the top of your refrigerator. Unless you are a 50s stay-at-home-wife and you actually clean up there.
Wait. I'm confused. Which thread is this?
But my husband hides my allowance up there!
Well, ask him to hide it in the bread drawer. Then, you'll find it when you're making him a sammich.
a sammich? REALLY!?! He needs a hot meal prepared by the time he gets home from work, and don't forget to remove his shoes for him!
Somewhere my husband is staring longingly at the sky and wondering 'why not me...' Poor man, married a woman who's skills don't go much beyond "Put it on the grill! Can't go on grill? ...well I'm outta ideas."
Also he's been wearing the same Navy issued boots since basic. He's in the middle of his second 4 year contract. Let that sink in.0 -
Also he's been wearing the same Navy issued boots since basic. He's in the middle of his second 4 year contract. Let that sink in.
Well, if you were a good wife you would be cleaning and deodorizing them regularly. Maybe after you clean up after dinner while he's relaxing in front of the fire?0 -
Also he's been wearing the same Navy issued boots since basic. He's in the middle of his second 4 year contract. Let that sink in.
Well, if you were a good wife you would be cleaning and deodorizing them regularly. Maybe after you clean up after dinner while he's relaxing in front of the fire?
yeah... pull it together already.0
This discussion has been closed.
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