Don't beat yourself up, but DO learn from it!
Options
Mindful_Trent
Posts: 3,954 Member
This is a little tough love that I've told myself, and decided that others may benefit from it, so I'm sharing.
So I've made some mistakes the last few days - my eating got out of hand on Sunday afternoon, and then yesterday I ate some cookies at the office not because I was hungry or even that I thought they'd be good, but because I was bored and they were there. I did salvage both days by exercising, but that doesn't make it better - I don't WANT to constantly be having to "make up" for my food mistakes by doing extra exercise. I want to eat healthy and exercise because it makes me feel good to do so! I felt bad after eating the cookies - they were loaded with sugar and gave me a headache. I'm very much a believer in allowing yourself the occasional treat, but if I'm going to give myself a treat, I want it to be something I really enjoy and that is worth the extra calories!
The point of the post is that I've heard time and time again people saying that you shouldn't beat yourself up over mistakes - log them and move on. The problem with this mentality, is that's exactly how I got fat in the first place. I didn't let it bother me when I ate poorly. I figured - that's in the past, why dwell on it? I made a few half-hearted attempts to change my eating habits, but nothing did change, and essentially I just ate what I wanted to ate and didn't worry about it.
Yes, it's good that people are logging what they eat, but we can still get fat (or maintain our too-high-weight) while logging our food. Logging is supposed to make us aware, and that awareness is supposed to lead to changes. If we continue to engage in the same bad habits that got us here in the first place, and make no efforts (or only half-hearted efforts) to change, then this isn't going to do us any good in the long run. One of my bad habits is mindless eating out of boredom. That's GOT to stop if I want to be successful in the long term. I need to train my "Saying No" muscle.
I agree that it doesn't help to beat yourself up over a bad food day - that just makes you feel bad about yourself and isn't productive. However, there are two non-beating-yourself-up ways to deal with a bad food day: 1) Log it and Forget about it, and 2) Log it, reflecting on why you made those choices, and decide how you would do it differently next time, then let go of your frustration and put your energy into making the changes you've identified that you need. The former will likely lead to more of the same behavior that got you here in the first place, while the latter is more likely to lead to a permanent lifestyle change.
So, going forward, I won't start beating myself up, but I won't just be logging and moving on - I'll be logging and learning!
So I've made some mistakes the last few days - my eating got out of hand on Sunday afternoon, and then yesterday I ate some cookies at the office not because I was hungry or even that I thought they'd be good, but because I was bored and they were there. I did salvage both days by exercising, but that doesn't make it better - I don't WANT to constantly be having to "make up" for my food mistakes by doing extra exercise. I want to eat healthy and exercise because it makes me feel good to do so! I felt bad after eating the cookies - they were loaded with sugar and gave me a headache. I'm very much a believer in allowing yourself the occasional treat, but if I'm going to give myself a treat, I want it to be something I really enjoy and that is worth the extra calories!
The point of the post is that I've heard time and time again people saying that you shouldn't beat yourself up over mistakes - log them and move on. The problem with this mentality, is that's exactly how I got fat in the first place. I didn't let it bother me when I ate poorly. I figured - that's in the past, why dwell on it? I made a few half-hearted attempts to change my eating habits, but nothing did change, and essentially I just ate what I wanted to ate and didn't worry about it.
Yes, it's good that people are logging what they eat, but we can still get fat (or maintain our too-high-weight) while logging our food. Logging is supposed to make us aware, and that awareness is supposed to lead to changes. If we continue to engage in the same bad habits that got us here in the first place, and make no efforts (or only half-hearted efforts) to change, then this isn't going to do us any good in the long run. One of my bad habits is mindless eating out of boredom. That's GOT to stop if I want to be successful in the long term. I need to train my "Saying No" muscle.
I agree that it doesn't help to beat yourself up over a bad food day - that just makes you feel bad about yourself and isn't productive. However, there are two non-beating-yourself-up ways to deal with a bad food day: 1) Log it and Forget about it, and 2) Log it, reflecting on why you made those choices, and decide how you would do it differently next time, then let go of your frustration and put your energy into making the changes you've identified that you need. The former will likely lead to more of the same behavior that got you here in the first place, while the latter is more likely to lead to a permanent lifestyle change.
So, going forward, I won't start beating myself up, but I won't just be logging and moving on - I'll be logging and learning!
0
Replies
-
Great post!!0
-
BRAVO! You GO Boy! :bigsmile: :drinker:
Some really good thoughts here, thanks for sharing! :flowerforyou:
Awareness is the key. We have to keep awake & aware of how our actions today will affect the outcome tomorrow. True, it's not good to beat ourselves up too much. Instead, use that moment to say Ah HA! Don't keep doing the same old thing! Be it justifying a bad habit or not taking necessary action to change it.0 -
So, going forward, I won't start beating myself up, but I won't just be logging and moving on - I'll be logging and learning!
Amen, brother! I use the little note area on the food log just for this purpose.
I managed to ignore the cookies today that I didn't have the willpower to ignore yesterday. :happy:0 -
Thanks for the insight...makes perfect sense!0
-
Bravo!!! This is a brilliant post. I feel the same way about my "bad" days.0
-
Log it, reflecting on why you made those choices, and decide how you would do it differently next time, then let go of your frustration and put your energy into making the changes you've identified that you need. The former will likely lead to more of the same behavior that got you here in the first place, while the latter is more likely to lead to a permanent lifestyle change.
So, going forward, I won't start beating myself up, but I won't just be logging and moving on - I'll be logging and learning!
Great post btw! I believe this portion to be true in ALL aspects of life.0 -
very well said!0
-
I guess it depends on what you want. I'm totally okay with doing extra workouts to earn the extra treats. I just plan ahead what I'm going to eat and then do the workout based on that. I got fat because I ate too many extra treats without working them off. I love food, and I want to enjoy it, and I'm willing to put in the work to "make up" for it.0
-
Great post! We all are in a learning and changing process and it is going to take us time to get it down. Thanks!0
-
I guess it depends on what you want. I'm totally okay with doing extra workouts to earn the extra treats. I just plan ahead what I'm going to eat and then do the workout based on that. I got fat because I ate too many extra treats without working them off. I love food, and I want to enjoy it, and I'm willing to put in the work to "make up" for it.
I totally agree that treats are important - I regularly have them! However, I'm trying to learn to plan my treats and work them into my goals. I could never go forever without eating a cookie or ice cream again ... but my problem has historically been 'impulse' eating. This is what I need to change - whether it's impulsively eating cookies or impulsively eating way too much of a "good" thing. I can log everything and use my workout calories to make up for my impulsive eating, but until I change that habit, I will always be struggling. I forsee a much better future where I do eat treats (along with an overall healthy diet) - but I don't eat impulsively.
There's a difference between exercising because you need to fix a mistake, and eating because you've earned it. I want the latter to be my attitude, and that's what I need to change.0 -
Thx for this post! I agree with you - you can take responsibility (by reflecting and learning) without beating yourself up. Being responsible for our choices instead of pretending that our choices happen to us will take us a very long way in life, all across the board.
Here are some ideas about taking responsibility from "Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway" - by Susan Jeffers:
1. Taking responsibility means never blaming anyone else for anything you are being, doing, having or feeling. *Until you fully understand that you, and no one else, create what goes on in your head, you will never be in control of your life.... When you blame any outside force for any of your experience of life (i.e. "they put cookies on my desk, they KNOW I'm trying to lose weight. It's their fault") you are literally giving away all your power and thus creating pain, paralysis and depression.
2. Taking responsibility means not blaming yourself. *Anything that takes away your power or pleasure makes you a victim. Don't make yourself a victim of yourself. It is important to understand that you have always done the best you possibly could, given the person you were at any particular time. Now that you are learning a new way of thinking, you can begin to perceive things differently and possibly change many of your actions. You must be patient with yourself. There is NEVER any need to be down on yourself.
3. Taking responsibility means being aware of where and when you are NOT taking responsibility so that you can eventually change. One clue that you are truly taking responsibility is where you feel little or no anger toward others when things go wrong. Anger is your clue that you are not taking responsibility.
4. Taking responsibility means handling the (internal/mental) Chatterbox - the little voice inside that tries to drive you crazy and often succeeds. Simply notice that your chatterbox is making you a victim and commit yourself to replacing it with a loving voice. You don't have to hang out with enemies, even if they are within yourself.
5. Taking responsibility means being aware of the payoffs that keep you stuck. * Payofffs explain what we don't want in our lives. Once you understand the payoffs, your behavior will make much more sense to you. As soon as you realize that you are choosing the payoff vs. choosing a different payoff, you are free to take new action.
6. Taking responsibility means figuring out what you want in life and acting on it. *Set your goals and go out and work toward them. Most of us do not sculpt our lives. We accept what comes our way.. then we grip about it. There is no need to wait for anyone to give you anything in your life. You have the power to create what you need. Given commitment, clear goals and action, it's just a matter of time.
7. Taking responsibility means being aware of the multitude of choices you have in any given situation.*As you go through the day, it is important to realize that at every moment you are choosing the way you feel. It is possible to tune in to your mind and say "Okay, choose".0 -
Thx for this post! I agree with you - you can take responsibility (by reflecting and learning) without beating yourself up. Being responsible for our choices instead of pretending that our choices happen to us will take us a very long way in life, all across the board.
Here are some ideas about taking responsibility from "Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway" - by Susan Jeffers:
These are great - I'm going to print them out and really take the time to read them later tonight. Thanks for posting them!0 -
There is much truth in what you said, my friend! We are two peas in a like-minded pod on this. I, too, try to figure out why I made a bad choice in the first place. Was it boredom? Self-defeat? Geniune hunger? Did a memory of another (long-ago) event trigger a craving for a particular food? Like popcorn at the movies - it just seems automatic, doesn't it? How about Christmas cookies? I never crave those nasty little sugar sprinkle things except in December!
Define it, own it, and press on. You're doing it right! :drinker:0 -
I just LOVE this! Thank you so much!!0
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 392.1K Introduce Yourself
- 43.6K Getting Started
- 259.9K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.7K Food and Nutrition
- 47.4K Recipes
- 232.4K Fitness and Exercise
- 403 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.4K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 152.8K Motivation and Support
- 7.9K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.4K MyFitnessPal Information
- 23 News and Announcements
- 1K Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.4K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions