Reasons Why You're Not Losing Weight

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  • runningagainstmyself
    runningagainstmyself Posts: 616 Member
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    *Your scale is passive-aggressive.

    I KNEW IT!!!
  • marcon125
    marcon125 Posts: 259 Member
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    Your magnetic personality is attracting extra weight....
  • dym123
    dym123 Posts: 1,670 Member
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    Your magnetic personality is attracting extra weight....

    Favorite so far. Will have to remember this one when I do my bi-weekly weigh in tomorrow.
  • zyxst
    zyxst Posts: 9,136 Member
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    All those murders weighing down your soul.

    I go to confession and do the penance the priest assigns. My soul is squeaky clean. :drinker:

    Just do be a downer: I ate more than I burned.
  • 3foldchord
    3foldchord Posts: 2,918 Member
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    The scale is messing with you.

    It's not the scale you have to watch out for. It's the fairies that are messing with your scale at night that you have to watch out for.
    fairies in cahoots with the gmones.
  • jlapey
    jlapey Posts: 1,850 Member
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    As soon as you step on the scale, your cat walks circles back and forth around your legs.

    That darn cat of mine is actually losing weight. He's down to 14.5 from 18. It's funny when I catch him sitting on the scale. (True story)
  • Sedna_51
    Sedna_51 Posts: 277 Member
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    I love these. Keep it up, all!

    * Digital readout on scale is upside-down

    * Fat being converted not into muscle, but super-dense metal alloy

    * Mercury in retrograde

    * Scale has been getting drunk at night and showing up hungover for morning weigh-in

    * Remaining body fat plotting elaborate revenge scheme

    * Friend of friend told you to pirouette on the scale for truly accurate measurement

    * Stared at mouthwatering hamburger so long that it was broken down into its component molecules and absorbed through your eyes

    * Overhydrated; now have camel hump

    * "All-Spam Diet" not living up to hype
  • ryry_
    ryry_ Posts: 4,966 Member
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    * Could never understand why I wasn't losing, then I ended up on the show "I didn't know I was pregnant".
  • DVaughan1975
    DVaughan1975 Posts: 158 Member
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    It's not you putting on weight: it's your clothes, which have had a pizza addiction for years.
    this
  • chandanista
    chandanista Posts: 986 Member
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    *You're possessed by an overweight demon.
  • karenertl
    karenertl Posts: 271 Member
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    *It turned out to be a bad idea to wear all your heavy sweaters, hoodies, and sweatpants at the same time while weighing in on the passive-aggressive scale.

    *Forgot to remove ankle weights before stepping on the scale.
  • lporter229
    lporter229 Posts: 4,907 Member
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    *The fat-free frozen yogurt isn't fat free after all!
  • _NautiBuoy_
    _NautiBuoy_ Posts: 55 Member
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    * somebody taped a stack of pennies under your scale so it wont compress down so you've not realized that you gained weight over the past three months, but the scale keeps telling you your doing great.
  • Hunnib23
    Hunnib23 Posts: 61 Member
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    *On your low carb diet you decide that toast is no longer considered bread because it burns off the carbs
  • tennileb
    tennileb Posts: 265 Member
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    * fluctuations in earth's gravitational pull. I'm sure the doomsday preppers would agree with me that this is the first sign of the
    coming apocalypse
  • CAME1
    CAME1 Posts: 21 Member
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    * You use shampoo for "for more volume & extra body".



    I'm gonna switch to Dawn dishwashing liquid. It says it "dissolves fat that is otherwise difficult to remove."
    HEHHEHEHEHE HMMMM SO AM I!!!!! EXCELENT FINDING!!!!

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