How to NOT look slimmer with make up. [PIC HEAVY]

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  • BathtubBadger
    BathtubBadger Posts: 217 Member
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    @ SRH7 It's Ruby Woo by MAC :flowerforyou:
  • fullofquirks
    fullofquirks Posts: 182 Member
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    @ SRH7 It's Ruby Woo by MAC :flowerforyou:

    Thanks for this, red lips are my fav. :heart:
  • BathtubBadger
    BathtubBadger Posts: 217 Member
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    I :heart: Bia Would buy a beer or dozen.

    Funny how many girls I've heard say they don't want pores to show, and you embrace your pores. I think you look great :flowerforyou:

    Awwh :heart: :heart:

    Who DOESN'T have pores? Some things about females that I'll never understand :laugh:
  • FriscoChet
    FriscoChet Posts: 57
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    HoneyBia, a couple of things: 1) NEVER go out with a guy who is only superficial (ok, maybe if you want a one night thing, then grab it and play it), reality is that he will never treat you as you should be treated. And if he does for the first three months, he probably won't three years later. 2) This was just Fuxxing hilarious! I read it all the way through and just loved the commentary. I really am lucky to be one of your friends on MFP.
  • bernied262
    bernied262 Posts: 882 Member
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    great post, you have a great sense of humour! You look great, just the way you are.
  • SRH7
    SRH7 Posts: 2,037 Member
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    @ SRH7 It's Ruby Woo by MAC :flowerforyou:

    :flowerforyou: *Rushes off to buy it*
  • LishieFruit89
    LishieFruit89 Posts: 1,956 Member
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    Pretty and funny!
    Youre fab!
  • cmeade20
    cmeade20 Posts: 1,238 Member
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    Ah good ole booze, without it I don't think half of us would be here :-P
  • BathtubBadger
    BathtubBadger Posts: 217 Member
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    HoneyBia, a couple of things: 1) NEVER go out with a guy who is only superficial (ok, maybe if you want a one night thing, then grab it and play it), reality is that he will never treat you as you should be treated. And if he does for the first three months, he probably won't three years later. 2) This was just Fuxxing hilarious! I read it all the way through and just loved the commentary. I really am lucky to be one of your friends on MFP.

    You are GREAT, Chet! First friend in here :-) :heart: :heart: We need to go and grab a few doses together sometime
  • Laura80111
    Laura80111 Posts: 958 Member
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    Loved your post:drinker: everyone looks better with a couple of drinks in hand.:wink:
  • sarahkatara
    sarahkatara Posts: 826 Member
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    DISCLAIMER: I know this is not EGO magazine. Please have some sense of humor if you want to continue reading :-)

    So I had a date.
    I am the former hot kid who suddenly got punched by life and gained --a lot-- of weight, just like that. This guy had seen me when I was still the hot kid. We were going out after 4 years and well... I wanted to look good.
    I am addicted to cosmetics. Call me vain, but the first thing I did was looking online for tips on how to look slimmer without chopping off the flabs hanging from my arms (as much as I'd LOVE to do that) and hiding that obnoxious double chin that sometimes shows up in pictures -- HELL, I never see you, double chin, where the F*** did you come from??!

    Anyway. I found this:

    contouring-diagram-smashbox1.jpg

    I already had a sense it wouldn't work since well... The model is already slim and she is WHITE.
    This is me, trying the same technique:

    176zw9.jpg
    "Am I pretty yet?"


    The duck face and V are to complement the atmosphere. I rarely feel this stupid. Especially when sober.

    Okay. Maybe I should blend all this plaster covering my face and see where it leads.

    2m6r2pl.jpg

    Alright. Let's stop right here.
    I wanted to look skinny. Yes.
    The only way I could possibly get lucky with this look was hoping the guy had a fetish for wax dolls. WHERE THE HELL DID MY PORES GO? And man, come on, after blending... It doesn't even look like I changed anything other than covering every spot of my face with some sort of sticky mortar.
    So I read that you could get a similar effect without carrying so much on sticky concealers. Instead, you would use a bronzer powder or dark blusher. Sounded alright.
    But no. When it comes to me, it can't just be that easy.

    iqc8ci.jpg

    Not satisfied with all the mortar, I had to ALSO make it look like someone hit me in the face with a brick. Beautiful, except that the guy I wanted to date wasn't a construction worker. So I washed it all off. And I decided to do it my way:

    2e67qk1.jpg

    Just a little bit of a matte brown eyeshadow under the jawline and right under the cheekbones. Then a little bit of a brighter one under the eyebrow and on top of the cheekbone, and blended it all together:

    9kmgc0.jpg

    The final thing looked something like this:

    o9o22p.jpg

    I actually think I look good with pores AND acne AND make up. Because I am not a wax doll. And you know what? I am working my *kitten* off to get fit again, so if this guy has something against the fact I gained a few (dozens of) pounds, maybe he doesn't deserve me, right? Heh, I wish my self esteem were that high. One way or another, there's always plan B:

    2qlub8h.jpg

    THIS baby. With this baby, I'll look just fine, no matter what.

    You.Are.Awesome.

    That is all.
  • BathtubBadger
    BathtubBadger Posts: 217 Member
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    Thanks for all the positive comments and love :-)
    I love laughing at my own struggles as well...
  • nuemmedigg
    nuemmedigg Posts: 220 Member
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    Hahahahaha.

    What double chin???
    You look fab and keep trusting your own make-up tips.
  • aquarabbit
    aquarabbit Posts: 1,622 Member
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    Oh man. I remember when Kevyn Aucoin really put this whole thing into fashion (barely, since I was really young, but I remember!). I actually do a version of this except with sheer creams. I never understood the whole layering with thick white and brown. Looks like you're going to WAR! Good gym makeup.
  • BathtubBadger
    BathtubBadger Posts: 217 Member
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    Hahahahaha.

    What double chin???
    You look fab and keep trusting your own make-up tips.


    You know how you NEVER see it, but any time someone takes a picture of you and you're unaware, it shows up? Mine is like that. Taking selfies or looking at the mirror, the sneaky *kitten* will just hide. It waits until a public picture is taken in order to show its glory.
  • BeachGingerOnTheRocks
    BeachGingerOnTheRocks Posts: 3,927 Member
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    Best thing I've read all day! Have fun with your meet-up! :laugh:
  • knitwit0704
    knitwit0704 Posts: 376
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    Love this! I'll try that makeup!
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
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    Me like em make up!

    176zw9.jpg
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
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    I've always wondered what those tutorials really look like done. Now I don't have to try it on myself. :laugh:

    You look great OP, and you've got a good sense of humor, which is even better. :flowerforyou:
  • Angdie
    Angdie Posts: 7 Member
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    Great read...funny post- thanks for the laugh!

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