My daughter needs some motivation.

AshleyLea1991
AshleyLea1991 Posts: 8
edited January 29 in Motivation and Support
So basically my daughter thinks shes fat and I keep telling her shes not (she says she has a stomach and wants to be healthier). She wants to start exercising and going out more too (but has a busy schedule, summer school etc..). She recently tried a healthy diet. But now she really needs some motivation and tips, I can't seem to tell her what to do. She recently ate 600 calories worth of junk food the other day (so she thought her diet was ruined).

I read off her schedule of what she ate on that "sorta binged day" (I also want help from you guys a good meal plan for her, so I can cook the food. She can't seem to go over 1200 calories any tips on that would help.)

Breakfast - 1 egg 2 egg whites and whole wheat pita bread 300 calories
Lunch - turkey burger , whole wheat bread, lettuce 300 calories
snack - activia yogurt 60
junk - 4 granola bars 600

other information -
age - 16
height - 4'10
weight - 110 lbs

Replies

  • SpleenThief
    SpleenThief Posts: 293 Member
    What kind of motivation do you think she needs? If you're looking for critique on her nutrition, there's zero veg. More emphasis on plant based nutrition is going to go a long way towards a healthier person.

    Her weight seems decent for her size. I didn't specifically look up ranges, but it seems like she's in a healthy range.

    Weight is just one component of health. In addition to better nutrition, being active is going to help as well.

    Or is it possible she just wants to be skinny? It's a common desire.
  • Motivation on what a binge day won't do to you, get back on track (healthy meal plans). She won't listen to me and I told her over over again she is in a healthy weight. I think she wants to be skinnier.
  • I don't want to scare you - but that's exactly how my eating disorder started and I've been avoiding those feelings since I recovered.

    Maybe try helping her balance out her meals?
    If she has a busy schedule, it's something she's used to correct? Maybe add her into a kickboxing, swim team, karate, etc program. It'll help.
    I'm not a psychiatrist, but taking her weight and age into consideration and adding that she wants to lose even more weight could be a sign of a possible eating disorder. Again, I'm not saying she has one, it's possible she wants to lose one or two pounds, but if you put her on healthy meal plans and maybe get her to see a dietitian or a doctor for weightloss might be a good idea.
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    www.sparkteens.com
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    Maybe you should consider working with a registered dietitian and psychologist.
  • BeachIron
    BeachIron Posts: 6,490 Member
    Her diet isn't so good and she's far from fat. What is she doing as far as exercise? Push her into being athletic and loving her body rather than encouraging a calorie cutting diet for a 16 year old girl with body image issues, which could definitely end up backfiring into an ED.

    Specifically as to nutrition she is missing fruit, vegetables and fats. Start working those in and definitely don't be encouraging her to cut calories.
  • Oh I am not encouraging to cut, she just recently showed me her journal, I thought she was eating more (but she wasn't). For exercise she uses the treadmill 30 minutes a day and does push ups and crunches. (she wants to get rid of fat and not much weight). When I saw her journal she told me she didn't know how to get her calories up to 1500 or more (I tried to give more food to help her, but sometimes she just doesn't want to eat) I need some help with a good meal plan for her.
  • Kudos to her - tell her to keep up her toning exercises. If she tones she'll lose inches.
    For meal plans, if you search it in any search engine you can find whatever you want.
  • BeachIron
    BeachIron Posts: 6,490 Member
    Oh I am not encouraging to cut, she just recently showed me her journal, I thought she was eating more (but she wasn't). For exercise she uses the treadmill 30 minutes a day and does push ups and crunches. (she wants to get rid of fat and not much weight). When I saw her journal she told me she didn't know how to get her calories up to 1500 or more (I tried to give more food to help her, but sometimes she just doesn't want to eat) I need some help with a good meal plan for her.

    This honestly terrifies me. I have two young daughters and my 7 y.o. is already hearing messages about calorie cutting from friends in school. I've gotten her into MMA, surfing and strength training as well as running with me. My 16 year old niece gains and loses quite a bit from one soccer season to the next. Encourage your daughter to get into sports. Any sports. Individual, team, whathaveyou. Get her focus off being skinny and onto being fit.

    I'd also say get her some training in nutrition so she's not afraid of food. Kids that age need to be eating fats and she needs proteins. Cheese, whole eggs, whole (or 1-2%) milk, avocados, almonds and other nuts, and Greek yogurt for protein and healthy fats, and broccoli, tomatoes, cantaloupe, bell peppers, blueberries, bananas, spinach, etc. for the vitamins and fiber. Also add in some grains with pasta, bread, quinoa, and rice.
  • Wow thank you so much with the great information. I'll try to get her into sports next school year (she already wants to join track, so I'm happy to hear that.) I will be shopping later next week and buy lots of healthy foods for her. I also searched online about a "6 meals a day" plan, is that healthy or really bad?
  • BeachIron
    BeachIron Posts: 6,490 Member
    She's 16. Encourage her to eat when she's hungry and provide her with healthy foods by stocking your refrigerator and pantry with plenty of the above. If you really are having trouble getting her to eat though and she is cutting her calories low then fixed meal times might help. I would stay away from Dr. Oz and anything the man promotes though. He seems to have moved from being a very good surgeon to become a shill for product promotion.
  • Thank you so much, I think you really helped me and her. I will be sure to stock on healthy foods from now on and encourage her more.
  • kippo033
    kippo033 Posts: 3
    I had a trainer who once said that "your metabolism is like a fire." "If you stop feeding the fire, it goes out." His theory was that eating smaller meals more frequently was a good thing. Personally, I think it depends on your schedule and convenience. I like to pack small, healthy snacks to eat throughout the day, e.g. baby carrots, almonds, greek yogurt, etc. But overall, I think the metaphor my trainer was using is a good way to think about eating. If your daughter doesn't eat enough calories, she will not lose weight because her metabolism will not function properly. I don't think she needs to lose weight based on the numbers you posted. I agree with the other posters who suggested athletics because that might correct a lot of her eating. You may also want to have her see a therapist or nutritionist because eating disorders develop around that age and there is a lot of pressure in the high school environment to be thin rather than healthy.
  • Railr0aderTony
    Railr0aderTony Posts: 6,803 Member
    Maybe you should consider working with a registered dietitian and psychologist.

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    Please talk to someone professional.
  • Ang108
    Ang108 Posts: 1,706 Member
    So basically my daughter thinks shes fat and I keep telling her shes not (she says she has a stomach and wants to be healthier). She wants to start exercising and going out more too (but has a busy schedule, summer school etc..). She recently tried a healthy diet. But now she really needs some motivation and tips, I can't seem to tell her what to do. She recently ate 600 calories worth of junk food the other day (so she thought her diet was ruined).

    I read off her schedule of what she ate on that "sorta binged day" (I also want help from you guys a good meal plan for her, so I can cook the food. She can't seem to go over 1200 calories any tips on that would help.)

    Breakfast - 1 egg 2 egg whites and whole wheat pita bread 300 calories
    Lunch - turkey burger , whole wheat bread, lettuce 300 calories
    snack - activia yogurt 60
    junk - 4 granola bars 600

    other information -
    age - 16
    height - 4'10
    weight - 110 lbs

    In terms of a healthier diet; how about fruit, vegetables and dinner ? For a 16 year old girl she needs to eat a wide variety of healthy food to finish her physical maturation process. For her height she is in the higher limit and might want to maybe get active in athletic activities instead of full on trying to lose weight. I am 5 feet tall and 110 pounds is my ideal weight. You are welcome to check my diary. I eat 1200 calories a day and have not gone over in three month and eat naturally and healthfully. I am not saying your daughter should do the same, but maybe you would find some ideas to provide her with a wider variety of nutrients at that calorie level. Good Luck !
  • Wouldn't eating 1200 calories everyday + exercise (due to exercise might be 300 calories) make her calorie deficiency lower. Which means she would be eating only 900 calories a day. Do you eat them back?
  • BeachIron
    BeachIron Posts: 6,490 Member
    Wouldn't eating 1200 calories everyday + exercise (due to exercise might be 300 calories) make her calorie deficiency lower. Which means she would be eating only 900 calories a day. Do you eat them back?

    A 16 year old shouldn't be on a calorie restricted diet unless it has been ordered by a M.D. and your daughter is certainly not overweight or obese.
  • Yeah I agree with that, I was replying to Ang108 because she was eating only 1200, and I thought wouldn't that be bad if my daughter exercises while eating that much.
  • bridgelene
    bridgelene Posts: 358 Member
    Dinner?

    Please be aware of her. It makes me leery of her starting an eating disorder as well. Once someone falls to that demon it's a HARD road to escape it. I hope she has a healthy perspective/goals/etc. Just want to second that awareness -- for anyone -- is important.
  • Dinner?

    Please be aware of her. It makes me leery of her starting an eating disorder as well. Once someone falls to that demon it's a HARD road to escape it. I hope she has a healthy perspective/goals/etc. Just want to second that awareness -- for anyone -- is important.
    Thank you for the warning. I will be more aware.
  • mmouse90
    mmouse90 Posts: 83
    I would add in dinner that included fish for Omega3 the fatty acids you need and other lean meats with veggies. Also add in a better snack than activa (don't get me wrong I like activia) but I am thinking more of like apple slices with peanut butter or even celery with peanut butter. Berries (raspberry and blueberries are very good for you). Also get the good fats in there that you get from avocados and nuts. As far as the 1200 calories goes it not even good for an adult to go below that (and yes take into account any exercising she does) as the body tends to go into starvation mode and will hold onto everything. Be very aware of eating disorders and there are more out there than you think. I read about one where girls are trying to make sure they have thigh gap (you can read about it here http://www.ydr.com/living/ci_22963809/thigh-gap-whats-behind-dangerous-teen-body-image). Teach her how to eat healthy and to take care of her body through exercise and not focus on the scale, cloth sizes, etc.
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