How Many Days Does It Take?

Every once in a while...(Be honest, Sue.) Okay. Nearly every day, I get some crazy thought or question in my head that I feel compelled to follow through to some conclusion.

Today's random thought was "How many days have I been on this current weight loss journey?" I knew that the idea of losing this weight didn't start with me. At this time last year, I would have been content to stay fat forever. I had no delusions about going on any diet...EVER AGAIN. I didn't like my weight, but I didn't think I had it in me to tackle another 'diet'. I still hate that word.

The first day that I had to even think about losing weight was October 31st of last year, when Dr. Kermanshahi (aka Dr. K) told me I had to lose 70 pounds to get new knees. I weighed 270.9 pounds, and that was 234 days ago.

Did I do anything about it? No. I just spent most of November thinking about it and debating whether I wanted to have gastric surgery. It was until the day before Thanksgiving that I even made any effort to lose any part of that 70 pounds.

Ed and I were at his sister Vivian's home for the big feast day, and I knew that she would be putting out a massive spread fit for her 'queen size' sister-in-law. Vivian is a lovely lady who loves me, but she is also a person who loves to feed people, until they can eat no more. I didn't tell anyone that I had made the mental choice to 'limit what I was going to eat' on Thanksgiving Day. That would sound too much like I was on a 'diet', and I had not made up my mind that I really wanted to do that.

When Vivian noticed my very small plate of food which did not contain at least one large helping of every delicious item on that huge buffet, she said something to Ed. I think that she was worried about me feeling sick or something. That's when I heard my darling hubbie tell his sister, "Sue is trying to lose weight so that she can get new knees."

He spoke those words, before I could even acknowledge to myself what I was doing. It was Ed who knew that I had finally made the decision to change how I ate...that I had voluntarily chosen to do something about my weight...not just think about it. That was 233 days ago. I lost 3.4 pounds over that holiday weekend, according to the scale at Vivian's house; and my sister-in-law praised me for my success. Vivian has been my supporter ever since; and now, she is always trying out new low calorie recipes, when we come for a visit.

It wasn't until January 6th that I came to MFP...just to count calories...nothing more. That was 188 days ago. I weighed 251.9 pounds on that day. I had already lost 19 pounds since Thanksgiving, but I wasn't eating 'normal food'. I had only been consuming meal replacement shakes and bars. My doctor wanted me on regular food. So, that's how I got here...just to count calories and nothing more.

I have had lots of landmark events since then. On April 3rd, I hit the half way mark to my surgeon's goal with 35 pounds lost; and that same month, my under pants started falling down. In May, I discovered that I had already lost more than 4 clothing sizes and would not be able to buy my pants at Lane Bryant's much longer, because I was in their smallest size. That was also the month that I gave away most of my old clothes. Yep. I cleared out my closet and bought all new, smaller size clothes for my new body. In June, I got my first swimsuit in more than 50 years and rediscovered my love of swimming. That was also the month that I had my hubbie take some very revealing photos of my body to share with my friends on MFP. That was the day that I got to really see what I had been hiding for so long from the world and myself.

Today, I am 68 years, 5 months and 7 days old. That is 24,994 days of life. It has only taken me a brief 233 days to lose 57.5 pounds; but it has taken me a lifetime to love myself like I do now.

Thanks to MFP and my wonderful MFP sisters, I no longer feel like I must stay fat forever. I have learned to love my body which embarrassed me for most of my long life. I can see my future with goals that are far beyond new knees and my surgeon's weight loss goal of 70 pounds. Onederland is not the end of the road for me anymore.

Today, I have decided to set new goals for myself...beginning with that number on my MFP ticker. It is time for me to acknowledge where I am really heading. 199.9 pounds is NOT the right number for me anymore. That was last year's goal.

My new goal (paraphrasing Buzz Lightyear) is "To ONEDERLAND and BEYOND!"

How many days have you been on this weight loss journey, and what is your goal? Has your attitude changed about who you are and what you truly want from that first day, when you made a choice to just lose some weight?