Opinions please

Agreed. I wouldn't say anything unless I was 100% sure, and even then I'm not sure if I would. I've been through this sort of situation with a friend of mine who confessed she messed around with another guy. Her hubs was a good friend of mine too so I felt bad for him and was mad at her for betraying his trust but at the same time I'd promised her I wouldn't tell so I couldn't. When I finally called her to tell her I couldn't be friends with her anymore (after weeks of agonizing about the situation), she told me the whole things was none of my business. At first that ticked me off because she made it my business by telling me but after a fashion, I realized she was right. What goes on between spouses in any marriage is between them and really no one else's business. There are lots of unknown things that go on behind the closed doors in a marriage and even if they're made public, that doesn't necessarily mean it's ok to stick your nose in or gossip about it.

The only exception I'd make to that is spousal abuse - no one should put up with that and a good friend would, of course, try to convince their friend to leave that harmful toxic situation. But even then there's only so much you can do...

I'm amazed that so many people wouldn't tell their friends :noway:. Isn't that what friends are for?

I would rather tell my friend that I had reasons to believe/evidence that her partner was cheating and risk our friendship being damaged. Rather than her finding out later that not only was her partner having an affair but her friend knew about it! Surely that's more damaging to any friendship?!

It's obvious you have never been the person that goes and tells your friend that you have SUSPICIONS about their SO cheating. It was then found out that you were wrong. So not only did you ruin their relationship, but you lost your best friend.

I would immediately try to hide a pic on my phone of my wife's *kitten* in panties if sent to me when I was with other people too...has nothing to do with being faithful and everything to do with some things are private.

It cannot be that bad of a relationship if you are sending him butt shots, just saying.

I'm amazed that so many people wouldn't tell their friends :noway:. Isn't that what friends are for?

I would rather tell my friend that I had reasons to believe/evidence that her partner was cheating and risk our friendship being damaged. Rather than her finding out later that not only was her partner having an affair but her friend knew about it! Surely that's more damaging to any friendship?!

It's obvious you have never been the person that goes and tells your friend that you have SUSPICIONS about their SO cheating. It was then found out that you were wrong. So not only did you ruin their relationship, but you lost your best friend.

Incorrect, but thanks for the wild assumption. I have been the person on both ends. I have had to inform a friend that her other half was cheating (we're still close friends and he's gone) and I have also been the one cheated on. Unfortunately no-one thought to tell me and I found out 9 months later. Perhaps I have friends like the people in this thread who wouldn't think to inform me. I honestly wish they had.

Saying all of that, I can completely understand how it can ruin friendships if false accusations are made. I'd still rather risk it.

bringing up things that you aren't sure of can create problems that aren't there.

I agree with this. I would tell my friend if I was 100% sure her husband was cheating, but that is IT.

My husband and I were having problems about a year ago. Serious problems, and we were on the verge of divorce. I stuck it out (mainly for the kids), but my husband caused a rift in my relationship with my parents by talking to them about OUR problems for 6 months behind my back. He told them I was CHEATING (I was not), and he told them I wasn't there for our kids (I WAS). He painted himself as the victim and me as the one ruining the relationship. All during this time, he was struggling with major addiction problems (which my parents knew). They chose to support him over me, and that HURT me. My Dad thinks that cheating is the WORST thing in the world, and because of what my husband put into his head he does not think of me the same.

So UNLESS you are 100% sure then NO. You are getting in other people's business and there could be serious repercussions.

bringing up things that you aren't sure of can create problems that aren't there.

I agree with this. I would tell my friend if I was 100% sure her husband was cheating, but that is IT.

My husband and I were having problems about a year ago. Serious problems, and we were on the verge of divorce. I stuck it out (mainly for the kids), but my husband caused a rift in my relationship with my parents by talking to them about OUR problems for 6 months behind my back. He told them I was CHEATING (I was not), and he told them I wasn't there for our kids (I WAS). He painted himself as the victim and me as the one ruining the relationship. All during this time, he was struggling with major addiction problems (which my parents knew). They chose to support him over me, and that HURT me. My Dad thinks that cheating is the WORST thing in the world, and because of what my husband put into his head he does not think of me the same.

So UNLESS you are 100% sure then NO. You are getting in other people's business and there could be serious repercussions.

SHAME on your parents. They should have known better since you are their daughter. At least they could have quietly talked to you about what he was saying. You're a strong woman. Keep smiling! :flowerforyou:

I am slowly re-building my relationship with them. I have a very close sister who supported me the whole time.

I told my parents I didn't want to talk to them about my relationship, because my husband I needed to talk it through.

My husband and I have come SO far in the last three months. We've really rebuilt things. He changed a lot for the better, just by finding out he was self medicating and not facing up to his problems. I'm super proud of him, and I'm happy I stuck through the bad times. Sometimes such horrible things happen, and you get through them and things are better than they've ever been on the other side!

I agree with other posts. Only if I was absolutely certain and had proof.

I truly hope that as he recovers he admits to your parents that he lied and made up stories about you. I come from a *****y back stabbing family (I've disowned them all because of this, it's vicious) and it does so much harm. Virtual hug to you.

Thanks. He is not the type to say he is sorry. I realize this, and there's nothing I can do to change him (people can only change themselves). Luckily, I know I'm not guilty and all I can do is live my life and show my parents through my actions that I'm not that type of person. They'll come around. I'm lucky to have a great sister and brother who really supported me and did not feed into my husband's manipulation. We were both to blame in the disintegration of our relationship, and both of us have to put it back together right now. We're doing it, and we're learning how to communicate, to live and love again, despite each of our flaws.