Your prayers have been answered, cauliflower hot dogs

Literally just busted out laughing when I saw this at work.

Me too. LOL

You are risking your food porn king crown.

Never

Ice cream slider, ice cream, white choc bar, raspberry sauce between a split donut. Had another later in the day with vanilla, white choc and caramel as well

But how does it TASTE?

Over the weekend I was thinking myself, self if you were ignorant and illogical about nutrition and wanted to totally bastardize an “unhealthy” food item, what item and how would you do it? The answer was making a cauliflower hot dog. Low fat and low cals, mmmmm

The recipe scales as follows;

Cauliflower – 100%
Salt – 1%
Gelatin – 1%
Transglutaminase – 1.5%
MSG - .5%

Spices to taste

1. Roast cauliflower

2. Bloom gelatin then melt for 20 sec in the microwave

3. Puree roasted cauliflower with all the other ingredients



4. Take puree and roll it in plastic wrap, forming a hot dog shape, twisting both ends tight



5. Refrigerate 5+ hrs to let transglutaminase set (If super hungry, you could pop the plastic wrapped cauli dogs into a 130 degree water bath for 15 min to set the transglutaminase)

6. Sear both sides and plate




This was served on a potato roll with whole grain mustard and cauliflower “cheese”

Note: Please no pointing out how unhealthy it still is, I understand it’s made of evil white carbs, but still it’s better than nitrate riddled franken meat

Over the weekend I was thinking myself, self if you were ignorant and illogical about nutrition and wanted to totally bastardize an “unhealthy” food item, what item and how would you do it? The answer was making a cauliflower hot dog. Low fat and low cals, mmmmm

The recipe scales as follows;

Cauliflower – 100%
Salt – 1%
Gelatin – 1%
Transglutaminase – 1.5%
MSG - .5%

Spices to taste

1. Roast cauliflower

2. Bloom gelatin then melt for 20 sec in the microwave

3. Puree roasted cauliflower with all the other ingredients



4. Take puree and roll it in plastic wrap, forming a hot dog shape, twisting both ends tight



5. Refrigerate 5+ hrs to let transglutaminase set (If super hungry, you could pop the plastic wrapped cauli dogs into a 130 degree water bath for 15 min to set the transglutaminase)

6. Sear both sides and plate




This was served on a potato roll with whole grain mustard and cauliflower “cheese”

Note: Please no pointing out how unhealthy it still is, I understand it’s made of evil white carbs, but still it’s better than nitrate riddled franken meat

America called, and is asking that you leave this country. On your way out, please take mashed cauliflower, cauliflower pizza crust, and tofu dogs with you.
Never speak about this abomination again.

I am very content with the cutting room floor remnants, combined with other carcinogens and poisons, that make up my all-American hotdog. All hail our Gods, Oscar Meyer and Joey Chestnut, and may they be merciful upon you for this wretched blasphemy.