:( Need some major encourgment
jessidenn3
Posts: 34
:brokenheart: :sad: So I have been doing realy good but I've hit a bump... My b/f decided he was moving out yesterday. No notice at all. I am now responsable for three kids on my own. I have this problem thou that I eat when I get depressed and I have been crying my eyes out for over 24hrs. I am dieing inside and don't feel as if I can do it any more. I thought I was changing but I havn't at all he even told me that looking at makes him sick b/c of how fat I've gotten. He says 33lbs not enough b/c he can't see any difference. So I am giving up ty for all ur help
:brokenheart: :sad:
:brokenheart: :sad:
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Replies
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:brokenheart: :sad: So I have been doing realy good but I've hit a bump... My b/f decided he was moving out yesterday. No notice at all. I am now responsable for three kids on my own. I have this problem thou that I eat when I get depressed and I have been crying my eyes out for over 24hrs. I am dieing inside and don't feel as if I can do it any more. I thought I was changing but I havn't at all he even told me that looking at makes him sick b/c of how fat I've gotten. He says 33lbs not enough b/c he can't see any difference. So I am giving up ty for all ur help
:brokenheart: :sad:0 -
:brokenheart: :sad: So I have been doing realy good but I've hit a bump... My b/f decided he was moving out yesterday. No notice at all. I am now responsable for three kids on my own. I have this problem thou that I eat when I get depressed and I have been crying my eyes out for over 24hrs. I am dieing inside and don't feel as if I can do it any more. I thought I was changing but I havn't at all he even told me that looking at makes him sick b/c of how fat I've gotten. He says 33lbs not enough b/c he can't see any difference. So I am giving up ty for all ur help
:brokenheart: :sad:
Girlie!!! Lose that baggage because I can TOTALLY see in your photos that you have been losing weight! I had clicked through your photos earlier today and thought GREAT JOB! So I'm sorry I can't help you with knocking sense into your man, but girlie, you look fantabulous! It so shows! YOU GO GIRL!!! Turn that bad energy into working out to PROVE that you can do this for YOU and nobody else! :flowerforyou:
YOU CAN DO IT!!!0 -
:brokenheart: :sad: So I have been doing realy good but I've hit a bump... My b/f decided he was moving out yesterday. No notice at all. I am now responsable for three kids on my own. I have this problem thou that I eat when I get depressed and I have been crying my eyes out for over 24hrs. I am dieing inside and don't feel as if I can do it any more. I thought I was changing but I havn't at all he even told me that looking at makes him sick b/c of how fat I've gotten. He says 33lbs not enough b/c he can't see any difference. So I am giving up ty for all ur help
:brokenheart: :sad:
Girlie!!! Lose that baggage because I can TOTALLY see in your photos that you have been losing weight! I had clicked through your photos earlier today and thought GREAT JOB! So I'm sorry I can't help you with knocking sense into your man, but girlie, you look fantabulous! It so shows! YOU GO GIRL!!! Turn that bad energy into working out to PROVE that you can do this for YOU and nobody else! :flowerforyou:
YOU CAN DO IT!!!
I am with Princess I had looked at your pictures earlier and was hoping I would look that good soon. Just remember that guys will come and go but you body is with you forever! so treat it right, everything else will fall into place.0 -
It must be really tough for you right now, and I'm sending you tons of prayers and encouragement. I know I don't know anything about your situation except what you wrote, but I think you could really do better than someone who puts you down and says that looking at you makes him sick. That's not acceptable...ever...at all. Please don't give up on yourself because that gives him all the power. You need to stay strong for those beautiful babies. Is there anyone that can come and be with you during this tough time and help you with the kids? I'm thinking about you. :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:0
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I'm so sorry to hear of this... I have gone through a similar thing 5 months ago, when out of the blue my wife left me for someone else.
I would love to tell you its gonna be fine, but it is going to take time.
This will take alot of healing, you must try and keep as much normallity as you can. You must try and keep a hold of your eating.
When this happened to me I lost my appitite, and it took 6 weeks to return, I was forcing myself to eat as i knew i should but just had no hunger. I also join the gym just to occupy my mind, I had support friends and family but still felt alone. I know there is nothing anyone can say to make you feel better, and being honist the next few months are gonna be tough. You will get though this you just need to try and be logical at this emotionally charged stage just to get your self through...
I hope you heal quickly and you can always come here to vent and ask questions, we're always here...
Al
:flowerforyou:0 -
I know it may seem like the end of the world but you have been doing so well. Don't give up. Do this for you. You deserve a man who will appreciate you. Be strong and make your life better than it has ever been. You and your kids deserve that happiness and even though it may seem impossible now it can happen.
We are here for you but don't give up on yourself.:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:0 -
I AM REALLY SORRY THAT HAPPENED TO YOU. I WOULD NOT WISH THAT KIND OF PAIN ON ANYONE. :brokenheart:
ALL I CAN SAY IS, HANG IN THERE, BE STRONG AND REMEMBER THAT YOU HAVE TO SHOW THE CHILDREN A GOOD EXAMPLE ON HOW YOU ARE CAPABLE OF TAKING CARE OF THEM AND YOU. BELIEVE ME, IT AFFECTS THEM TOO!
GOD BLESS YOU! :flowerforyou: 0 -
Oh hun! First I am sorry that he left and was being a total jerk. You have accomplished wonderful things! Giving up now won't make you feel better about yourself, in reality it make even make it worse.
Don't let some shallow guy tell you what is acceptable for you. That is your right to decide. I think that 33 lbs is amazing! I hope for such luck!
Stay...0 -
SWEETIE...I don't know you ...but I want to try to offer encouragement to you !!!!!!!!! YOU are more important than ANYONE except of course the kids...BUT YOU ARE PRIORITY and you have to get to your goal FOR YOU ...sounds like you have been doing great...KEEP GOING !! If it makes you feel any better I have twins age 4 and a 12 year old and recently divorced and have NO FAMILY within 3400 miles....WE CAN DO IT! STAY STRONG ! HUGSSSSS 0 -
I think we are all in agreement on this one.....this website is about doing something for YOURSELF. I am so sorry you have to go through it. I read a post similar to this the other night and decided to read it to my husband for his 2 cents. His comment was..... "that guy is being a jerk and calling her fat because he knows that is what will hurt the most right now. He really is just scared that she is doing well and is going to loose a ton of weight and leave his *kitten*!" This coming from a man that had the same fears when I dropped weight after our second baby.
You need to stay the course. YOU are worth it. Your health is worth it. And those 3 babies are sure worth it. Anyone that tells you other wise is NOT worth it.
Good luck!! Stay strong....
Ali0 -
It must be really tough for you right now, and I'm sending you tons of prayers and encouragement. I know I don't know anything about your situation except what you wrote, but I think you could really do better than someone who puts you down and says that looking at you makes him sick. That's not acceptable...ever...at all. Please don't give up on yourself because that gives him all the power. You need to stay strong for those beautiful babies. Is there anyone that can come and be with you during this tough time and help you with the kids? I'm thinking about you. :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
Ditto!
Remember to Breathe, Breathe, Breathe ....
Take one day at a time.
(((hugs))))0 -
THANK YOU EVERYONE!!! I wanna stay at this for my kids and myself. right now I am just trying to make the tears stop. An try to exspin to my baby y his daddy couldn't put him to sleep. Every night for almost a year he has put our baby to bed and tucked him now he is not here. My baby wont stop crying dada. He is 10 1/2 months old. My 2yr and 5 yr old keep asking me if they did something wrong and if they told daddy they would be better would he come home... How do you tell them he is not comming back. How do u exsplan to baby daddy dosn't want to be a part of the family any more and that mommy will have to put him to bed. They cry which makes me wanna cry more. I have no family near by and my bestfriend moved to FL last year... LOST IN PAIN TEARS ROLLING DOWN MY FACE.:sad: :sad:0
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This is one SMART woman, you should listen to her!!!I think we are all in agreement on this one.....this website is about doing something for YOURSELF. I am so sorry you have to go through it. I read a post similar to this the other night and decided to read it to my husband for his 2 cents. His comment was..... "that guy is being a jerk and calling her fat because he knows that is what will hurt the most right now. He really is just scared that she is doing well and is going to loose a ton of weight and leave his *kitten*!" This coming from a man that had the same fears when I dropped weight after our second baby.
You need to stay the course. YOU are worth it. Your health is worth it. And those 3 babies are sure worth it. Anyone that tells you other wise is NOT worth it.
Good luck!! Stay strong....
Ali
He was mean because he is afraid, you are worth it and will find the person who recognizes it!! It's not going to be overnight, but nothing worth having is!!
Ali-Love ya girl!!0 -
I am new to this site and have not posted before, however I feel compelled to reply to your post...
This morning I decided I wanted my boyfriend to move out. We have been together for almost seven years and own a beautiful house together. When we bought this house three years I go, I thought we had decided to have children. I went through all those wonderful fertility exams only to be told I was fine. The next step was to examine him...think it's ever happened? No. Three years later here I sit, waiting for answers. I approached him about adopting or fostering a baby. The only response I get is, "can't we have our own?" Hmm...It takes two, doesn't it? After working only one day last week (he makes his own schedule), he decided he didn't want to go to work today. So that means again I am forced to cover all expenses for the house. Not an easy task for a Seattle area home. In the past three years his income has gone from twice as much as mine to just over mine. Not that money should matter, but the boy only works 2 to 3 days a week and we are struggling because of it.
So you see, you and I have something in common. We deserve better. We deserve a man who won't run or avoid his responsibilities. A man who will be supportive emotionally and who will understand the relationship's needs, weather they be emotional or financial or anything else. It's not asking too much. I plan on making that happen for me...what about you?0 -
Don't let anyone tell you that 33 lbs is nothing...thats 2 dress sizes. Its 33 lbs worth of more energy you have with your children. its 33 lbs toward a new and healthier you. My ex husband was very unsupportive of my desire to lose weight, told me every day how ugly and fat I was...even though I gained it from carrying his child. I went from 140 lb to 225 from a pregnancy that landed me on bed rest for 4 months...all I was allowed to do was eat, sit and go to the bathroom.
I'm sorry for this speed bump in your road. But you will find the will to cross it. I left my ex husband years ago...and my new husband is the best thing that has ever happened to me and my kids. You will get thru this. But don't sacrifice your health for that. Do it for your kids girl. You are doing great, you have come along way. Keep going. And if you ever need support, thats what we are all here for.
I'm praying for you, and I have faith in you. Good Luck.0 -
Girl if you lose your extra baggage you will lose approx. 180 lbs. in one day. I say throw him to the curb and get back on your diet. Life is not easy and three kids are a chore, I remember I have 3 with only one left at home. It is horrible he has not support for you. You are worth more than that, especially to yourself and your kids. Tell him good bye and start a new you.0
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THANK YOU EVERYONE!!! I wanna stay at this for my kids and myself. right now I am just trying to make the tears stop. An try to exspin to my baby y his daddy couldn't put him to sleep. Every night for almost a year he has put our baby to bed and tucked him now he is not here. My baby wont stop crying dada. He is 10 1/2 months old. My 2yr and 5 yr old keep asking me if they did something wrong and if they told daddy they would be better would he come home... How do you tell them he is not comming back. How do u exsplan to baby daddy dosn't want to be a part of the family any more and that mommy will have to put him to bed. They cry which makes me wanna cry more. I have no family near by and my bestfriend moved to FL last year... LOST IN PAIN TEARS ROLLING DOWN MY FACE.:sad: :sad:
Im so sorry to hear all this. It hurts a lot. If he left you because of your weight he wasnt worth it. You should keep taking care of yourself and show your kids that even though you have fallen on hard times you can still keep strong. I think your looking great! Keep up the good work! You CAN do this!! Don't let this stop you! I will be praying for you and your children! :flowerforyou: 0 -
I am deeply sorry and I hurt for you and your babies! Cry it out and then get back up on your feet. Your babies need you. Hug each other a lot, you are not alone. You have each other and we are here. I am praying for you.
You have come a LONG way with your weight loss, do not give up!0 -
I know it's hard, but remember you are amazing and we are all here to support you!0
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I am so sorry he is such an *kitten* (sorry about the language) you should have popped him right in the head when those words came out of his mouth thats what I would have done- I am so sorry again- Just remember everything happens for a reason- Obviously he wasn't meant to join you in this journey of a better life- and you don't need that negativity in your life you may not see that now because you are hurt and upset but in time you will realize that its a blessing in disguise. Stay strong, focused, and determined and work your butt off so when you do see him months down the road you are lookin fine as ever so he can eat his nasty words and he can watch you walk away and smile-0
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Hey Jessidenn! I'm sorry that your situation has taken it's toll on you.. But I must point out that you are certainly better off. It's hard enough to try to better ourselves without the negativity. Although it really hurts right now.. try to focus on the following things:
1. You are most important. You can't take care of any babies if you can't take care of yourself. Use this sight to becoming the best 'you' possible.
2. When kids are involved, it's still important to validate their feelings.. ie, their sad and confused. Just try to speak positive to them about the situation. Tell them that "daddy needs some time for himself".. Or daddy is having a "time-out". Be careful telling them you don't know why he left.. etc, because u don't want them to think that he left them. I agree with mrsyac2, he's an *kitten*! However, you don't want any lasting effects on your kids.
3. Check in here daily! You will have all the support we can give.... Not to mention.. Men get confused sometimes.. (sorry guys').. if it's in God's will, he will be back. But he certainly didn't leave you because of the weight... that's a given... maybe the weightloss??. Be true to yourself and your kids.. They love you in ways he can't!0 -
BTW.. great job with replacing his pic so quickly! Your kids are beautiful!0
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:brokenheart: :sad: So I have been doing realy good but I've hit a bump... My b/f decided he was moving out yesterday. No notice at all. I am now responsable for three kids on my own. I have this problem thou that I eat when I get depressed and I have been crying my eyes out for over 24hrs. I am dieing inside and don't feel as if I can do it any more. I thought I was changing but I havn't at all he even told me that looking at makes him sick b/c of how fat I've gotten. He says 33lbs not enough b/c he can't see any difference. So I am giving up ty for all ur help
:brokenheart: :sad:
don't give up this is for you, for your health, for your three beautiful children. You have the power and control to be who you want to be and... don't give him the control over your weight, or your happiness... this is YOUR LIFE. If someone doesn't love you it is their problem not yours. Take the time you need but run out that anger don't swallow it.... we are all here to help.
My prayers are with you.0 -
This is such a hard time. But when you're REALLY feeling down and you are at risk of falling off your path, think of things this way: In 5 years this is long in the past. What do you want to look back on? Do you want to look back and see that some jerk had the power to make you miserable and derail life-changing goals and accomplishments? Or do you want to look back with the pride of knowing that DESPITE such a hurtful, bitter man causing pain to you and your beautiful children you accomplished your goal, became a healthier you, and taught your children how to be strong for themselves in the toughest of times?
You CAN do this. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger. Don't let this kill you!!! We're here to support you!!! :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:0 -
breakups are hard- but just because it didn't work for the two of you remember that it doesn't mean he doesn't want to be in the kids lives (unless he is a deadbeat no offense)-- You also need to stay strong for your kids- so put on a brave face in front of them if possible which would also make you feel better and keep your mind off of it-You can do this we all go through our low points in life but in the end they just make us that much stronger-- best of luck and 33lbs is too alot--THANK YOU EVERYONE!!! I wanna stay at this for my kids and myself. right now I am just trying to make the tears stop. An try to exspin to my baby y his daddy couldn't put him to sleep. Every night for almost a year he has put our baby to bed and tucked him now he is not here. My baby wont stop crying dada. He is 10 1/2 months old. My 2yr and 5 yr old keep asking me if they did something wrong and if they told daddy they would be better would he come home... How do you tell them he is not comming back. How do u exsplan to baby daddy dosn't want to be a part of the family any more and that mommy will have to put him to bed. They cry which makes me wanna cry more. I have no family near by and my bestfriend moved to FL last year... LOST IN PAIN TEARS ROLLING DOWN MY FACE.:sad: :sad:0 -
Never sure what to say in times like this but here is a saying that I try to live by
"No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry. "
Forget about him, he sounds like a jerk. You deserve better/0 -
THANK YOU EVERYONE!!! I wanna stay at this for my kids and myself. right now I am just trying to make the tears stop. An try to exspin to my baby y his daddy couldn't put him to sleep. Every night for almost a year he has put our baby to bed and tucked him now he is not here. My baby wont stop crying dada. He is 10 1/2 months old. My 2yr and 5 yr old keep asking me if they did something wrong and if they told daddy they would be better would he come home... How do you tell them he is not comming back. How do u exsplan to baby daddy dosn't want to be a part of the family any more and that mommy will have to put him to bed. They cry which makes me wanna cry more. I have no family near by and my bestfriend moved to FL last year... LOST IN PAIN TEARS ROLLING DOWN MY FACE.:sad: :sad:
I remember when I got divorced, I channeled all the hurt and pain into exercise (mainly just walking). Doing this gave me time to think and contemplate. It must be so difficult to have someone be such a huge part of your childrens lives then be gone. The big thing for them is to let them know that it has nothing to do with them. Just that their daddy is going through a tough time right now. Because in reality his tissy fit is all about him and not about you at all. It will take them a little bit of time to get used to whats going on. The key is to create stability (try not to let you boyfriend yo-yo in and out of their life), create new routines (like bedtime), etc.
I know that you can do this and the key that you mentioned is that you are doing it for you. No one else should have a say in your personal goals. Heck I've been off the wagon for 2 months, but I am still here, just starting back on using the resources and it's sooo much easier just to stay with it then to constantly start and stop,0 -
I am so sorry to hear about your pain. A man that talks to you the way he has is not worth it at all. And if he does not take responisbilty for his children then they will be better off being surrounded by your love. Chin up!!
Don't let him take your accomplishment away from you. You have done great!0 -
Aw hun...if a man can't love you after having kids and having your body change (I am assuming they are his kids??) than he is NOT a man!
You are better than that and can find someone to love you for your inside first, and your outside will change as you do this for yourself and your kids!
Good luck!!0 -
Girl if he is going to talk to you like that you don't need him. Their are other men out their that would treat you like a queen. If he cant support you in your weight loss than its good he got loss. I know it is going to be hard with the kids in all but you can get so much help out their. Their are good men out their so don't dwell on him. 33 pounds that great. Just remember this is just a bump in the road and things will get better. :brokenheart:0
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