By way of introduction and a NSV

I have been active on MFP since April, quietly scouring success stories and creeping profiles and being totally inspired by all of you... I have commented on a few peoples posts here and there, So I thought it's high time for an introduction. I wrote a post on my FB page back on June 7, 2013 which I think sums it up and I would like to share that with you here.

"True confession - It's hard for me to believe (and even harder to admit) that I let myself gain 46 lbs since 2009. Yes that is right - I said it - 46!! LBS!! Sure I can easily blame the fact that I had turned forty or the injury that I had to my back/hip/groin/whatever else or the unexpected emotional affect loosing my dad had on me or I could blame the first year of my relationship with Steven. The traveling back and forth to VA and the constant dining out. The indulgences due to us always feeling like we were on a mini vacation when we were together for the weekends. Then we moved in together and I started cooking for the first time in a long time and I remembered I loved it, I am very good at it and I love food and of course I ate. More than I should have. And so there it is, I have no one to blame but myself.

I looked at myself in the mirror everyday. I saw the weight piling on. I berated myself for it and got depressed over it and ate some more to soothe and comfort myself. I convinced myself it was 'not that bad' and that I could always 'fix it'. (you know that 'I can quit any time' attitude). I said 'starting tomorrow' a lot and "I really have to get a handle on this' even more.

Then two years ago, I saw a picture of my cousin where he posted his before and after pictures, I was impressed. At the same time I was at my all time high of (gulp) 216 lbs and I was seeing the pictures taken of me. I didn't like what I saw, I cried, I said now is the time! I have to do it. To hell with the fact that I have difficulty working out due to pain. To hell with berating myself, feeling bad about my weight gain, to hell with feeling uncomfortable in my own skin. So I did a 7 day cleanse (cabbage soup) to kick start things and I lost 14 lbs. It felt great! I looked good! And it was so easy! Well, a little too easy... I gained 7 of that back in no time. However, it did show me that I could eat better and make better choices. I don't know why I forgot that in the first place. I have for the most part in my adult life made the healthier choices, I have exercised and strived for fitness - hell, I injured myself while exercising. That's not to say I was always perfect at it. I gained 52 lbs when I was pregnant. After I got all that weight off, 8 years later I gained again when I was in a really bad relationship. When I was free of that and on my own again, I was able to get back to my healthy self and managed to maintain it for 10 years. So letting all the excuses take over was a bad decision. But I did it.

After I gained the 7 lbs back from the cleanse I started to worry that I was going in the WRONG direction. And it was back on 'the wagon' for me. No more cleansing though, this time it was no bread, no eating after 7 and smaller portioning. Okay I was down 9 lbs by January of 2013. Yay Me! I hit the 200 mark! Then I went to the UK in March. Two weeks and 9 lbs later, I was back... Sigh, time to start over. How can I gain 9 lbs in two weeks??? A lot of eating, a lot of high fat foods. Dining out almost everyday, The Kit Kats didn't help!! When I returned from the UK, I made a decision that by the end of 2013 I was going to be back at my 'fighting weight' of 170. I know that sounds high actually and I guess it could be considered still a high number, but I have been comfortable there. When I graduated from high school I weighed 164. I also did a lot of weight training (body building) back then. I am 5'7" and have a 'large frame' (based on the standard measurement of height and wrist size - http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/imagepages/17182.htm) When I returned from the UK, I lost 2 lbs just by getting back to my 'normal' eating.

At the beginning of April I logged back into MFP and determined my goals, entered my starting weight of 207 and my goal weight of 170. I entered how much exercise I thought I would do (to be honest - moderate, I do still have my injury to deal with after all) and that I wanted to loose 1 lb per week. It calculated for me how many calories I should be eating daily and broke it down by how much should be carbs, protein, fat, sugar and I like to know the sodium content as well (high blood pressure and all). Now all I have to do is make better choices everyday, I weigh and measure, I hardly ever eat bread or sweets, (except chocolate! I eat chocolate EVERYDAY) but I do eat them. I just make sure there is an allowance for it in my calories for the day. Like I said I love food (Especially baked goods = Sweets!) I have to allow for it. And I have to log it all. I have to be honest, and honestly, I love it! I have made better choices, I now know what 2 oz of meat is or 4 oz of sweet potatoes and what a serving size really looks like. I am more realistic and I know what my end goal is = a closet full of clothes I haven't been able to wear for over 3 years! I am down 12 lbs from starting MFP in April and by November I plan to be 170! I plan to be wearing the clothes in that closet this winter! More importantly, I plan to wear those clothes for a long time and never have to buy the sizes I have been in for these last three plus years again.

The best thing is that Steven is on board and he is doing it with me. We encourage each other, we work out together. He has lost 8 lbs himself and says he hasn't been this weight in 18 years! How cool is that?"


Sorry that was long... but now for the NSV. That goal bucket (of size 12) clothes that I tucked away in the back of my closet, is out - it's almost emptied because I have moved most of the clothes back onto hangers in my closet and I have gotten rid of ALL of my size 16 clothes. I am only half way to my goal weight but I am more than half way through having the clothes in that bucket FIT ME!! Last summer I was wearing Size 16 white linen pants (with Shapewear and still feeling uncomfortable) today I am wearing size 12 white linen pants (w/ NO Shapewear). I have been going to the gym (second week now)

I have also lost 29 lbs total from my HW and 19 from my SW here. My BF is also down 12 lbs now!

(Sorry no photos posted here you can see the pants comparison in my profile photos along with some before and now's - I won't say AFTER because I am not done yet)

I don't know exactly where I will end up but at this rate I feel as though I am going to blow through that bucket of clothes and be wearing even smaller sizes in my future!

Thanks for listening. If anyone wants to add me please do. Support is a nice thing - so is accountability and I am good for both!