So confused

I stopped reading at "wore it to bed"

HRMs are not meant to be used that way. Monitoring your average HR is fine, but calorie burns during non-steady state exercise will be wildly inaccurate.

I stopped reading at "wore it to bed"

To track calories burned over the course of time you should use something like a Fit Bit or Body Media device. They are designed to be worn all day and night and will give you reports of average calories burned per day, sleep patterns, etc. and mosts sync with MFP as well. I have a Body Media and it has been a huge help in understanding my calorie burn and needs.

Your heart rate is not the only reason you lose weight. It is figured by a very large complicated blend of factors. HRM are a good tool to estimate your burn while your HR is INCREASED significantly above your average resting rate. When your HR goes up significantly, then the HRM is assuming that you are working your muscles and other organs hard as well.

As i stated its new i have been using it at different times just too see how my body reacts to different things.
I figured by doing this i could figure out my BMR (it might not be the right way to do it) but obviously i need help figuring out how to best get results for me or else i wouldnt have tried this "experiment". I can use calculators online obviously like everyone else but if my heart rate is different then the average person my results would vary.

If anyone can add something that may help me it would be great.

Thanks,

I have a very high resting HR as well, and unfortunately it does NOT result in a higher BMR.
At your weight, you would do better to figure your BMR using the Katch-Mcardle calculator which takes your BF% into account.
Here is a good link

http://www.cordianet.com/calculator.htm

But even then, calculators only give you an average based on other people around your weight, height, age, BF%.
Your actual BMR can be higher or lower. Only thru accurate logging and time tracking your progress, can you figure out what your TDEE is (maintenance level calories), which is really the only number you actually need to figure your deficit.

No need to be rude, sport. I think that if you can't say something in a nice manner, then you should keep your thoughts to yourself.

Nice is relative.

Thank you all for your advice its not that i didnt not want to accept it..i did not realize that the HRM only accurately measures during active state. I was using it throughout the night as an experiment to see what my resting heartrate was just because while i was active i couldnt get an accurate reading i have a toddler and every time i tried resting to get a reading i would hear "mommy come here, mommy do this".
Then someone suggested if i my calories were that high during rest there is something not adding up. As per my title i am confused
So i just calculated my tdee-25% and it is 2158 .
Maybe i need to increase my calories again.

Let's uncomplicate this for you.

You have about 80ish pounds to lose.

You can have a very large deficit at that weight. (More than 25% off TDEE is fine at this point.) You bought a HRM, you may as well use it for your Exercise cals, not much use for it if you are using the TDEE minus 25%.

Keep it Simple. Use the site here to calculate. Those TDEE minus a percentage calculators work a lot better when you are closer to Goal Weight. You are a bit outside the effective parameters right now due to your weight. Use MFP.

Set your Goals here at "Lose two pounds a week" (for now - not forever).

Set your Activity level to Lightly Active or the next step up - You have a child, you are NOT Sedentary.

Just eat the amount this site gives you, add back in the Exercise calories only by using your HRM.

Every time this site says, "Do you want to recalculate" (due to weight loss) Say, Yes. Your calories will be adjusted for you.

WHEN you hit plateau of a month, then reevaluate. At that time, lower your Goal to "Lose one pound a week."

Rinse and repeat.

Meadowsmummy, I think you should talk to your doctor about your concerns with your heartrate. And, utilize your community resources to get nutritional guidance. Even a one-time consultation with a nutritionist can help you evaluate where you are and how you are going to move forward to your goals. Or, I used one of the many free calulators mentioned in another post. Fitness magazine has some great ones on-line. They are not completely accurate as another member posted, but they are helpful for you to establish some sort of baseline. And, with regard to food, I know was gulilty of being a white liar when it came to the foods I was putting in my body. It has taken me years to finally admit that my idea of a healthy diet was not correct. Remember Atkins? At a quick glance, it made people believe that you could eat hamburgers and lose weight. A hamburger may have proetin in it, but also has a lot of fat and calories. And, what about those chicken wings- protein, but lots of fat. This year I had a few health scares that woke me up. With the help of my doctor and MFP, I have started to look at the value of the things I am putting into my body. And, everyone's needs are different. Hard core runners or weight lifters are going to need more calories than the average office desk jockey. Get personal guidance tailored to you by a professional to start instead of guessing or self-diagnosing. Best wishes!

Thank you all for your advice its not that i didnt not want to accept it..i did not realize that the HRM only accurately measures during active state. I was using it throughout the night as an experiment to see what my resting heartrate was just because while i was active i couldnt get an accurate reading i have a toddler and every time i tried resting to get a reading i would hear "mommy come here, mommy do this".
Then someone suggested if i my calories were that high during rest there is something not adding up. As per my title i am confused
So i just calculated my tdee-25% and it is 2158 .
Maybe i need to increase my calories again.

What calorie level were you eating at before you started restricting calories? Unless you were eating more than 2158 cals a day, you will not lose on that amount. As I stated before, because of your high BF%, your BMR will not be as high as most calculators say it is. Unless you are VERY active thruout the day, You probably wont lose much, if any on that calorie level. But go ahead and give it a try if you want. Then if your weight increases, take it back down.