I was just called the DUFF-designated ugly fat friend!:(

I would be offended is someone called me a DUFF because it's unnecessarily rude.

but I wouldn't let it get to me too much, because there's always going to be someone more attractive and slimmer than I am.

DUFF??? Who says that??? The guy is obviously very immature(he has his own problems)...you shouldn't give 2 sh!ts about what him or anyone else says. The only thing that you should care about is what YOU think and any constructive criticism/advice from a trusted source that will help you for the better(Edit: and will help you succeed) .

Also, shame on your "friend."

Agreed on this friend. If someone said that about my bestie I would never tell her knowing it would make her sad and I would
Also lose that guys number.

i think the problem here is not so much the guy as it is your "friend".

I think she is the one that called you a DUFF in the first place, not K. and if im wrong, in any case, she didn't stand up for you so she is of that opinion too. surround yourself with more supportive friends, not ones that make you feel inferior!

^^THIS^^.. Frankly, I think your friend considered his insult in regards to you a compliment to her. Lots of my "friends" in the past were much smaller than I was, and the few that used me to make themselves look better are no longer the type of people I surround myself with. I remember walking down the street, on different occasions, and my best friend and I would get honked at, waved at, etc. I was always bigger than her, and she used to say, "they're honking at US!" It made me feel so good to get included. Nowadays though, I would have grabbed that phone and had a few choice comments for K. Then, I likely would have flushed her phone down the toilet and left her home, never to return.

You're beautiful NOW. You don't have to change for ANYONE ever. If you want to change for you, or look better and use this as motivation to get there, too cool. But don't change for them, or waste your time trying to please someone EXCEPT YOURSELF!

Everyone's a DUFF at some point - get over it or get uglier friends :laugh:

Possibilities:
a) you were going through your friends phone= you bad friend
b) you're friend was repeating to you the mean things someone else texted=she bad friend
c) this never happened, you wanted to hear you're so pretty but ppl are bashing on the guy=we bad friends

Time to get new friends. Tick tock.

I just don't get the point of criticizing the OP like that. What did THAT add to the conversation? "B" was okay, but you can't expect her to not get defensive about the other 2. Then you'll call her out on being too sensitive when she does, amirite?

That's harsh.... But screw him...live your life

If your friend was texting there was no real reason for her to even tell you what the a$$hat said in the first place... you might need to reevaluate that 'friendship'....

Don't worry I am definitely going to keep pushing myself and working hard to lose weight! But it really did bring me down since I don't consider myself ugly OR fat; I am chubby, but not fat.

Maybe one day I'll get super hot and then those boys will be into me and then I could be like "Oh I'm sorry I thought you said I was the DUFF!" :bigsmile:

Use whatever you can for motivation. But don't get too hung up on this. No matter how hot you get, there will always be someone that thinks you are not attractive. People have different tastes. Hot, beautiful, ugly, even fat to some degree, are opinions. Don't let the opinions of others define you.

I won't write exactly what it was, because it still stings to see it written out for some reason, but one of my childhood nicknames that followed me into young adulthood had something to do with a pig. My mom always told me success is the best revenge. Focus on yourself, not them. So that's what I did. Not to brag too much, but I consider myself a successful adult.

So, what did I do? I went and got a pig tattoo on the back of my ankle. It motivates me. Ever hear the story of Yankee Doodle? Yankee Doodle was used as an insult by Confederate soldiers against Union soldiers. When the Union won, they marched through southern towns singing Yankee Doodle Dandy. This tattoo is my Yankee Doodle.

Let your past empower your future.

:flowerforyou:

I was definitely the DUFF in college! My bestie was the most petite, cute girl. The type that guys are always having sit on their laps, or picking up for giant hugs. Needless to say, no one was asking me to sit on their lap :laugh:

Anyway - she was my BEST FRIEND. She never would have let any of her guy friends say something hurtful about me, and she never made me feel like I was anything less than she was. She was/is the positive voice in my head when I felt down on myself. We are still close today, though we live many miles apart.

I would definitely have a talk with your friend and let her know that you were hurt. If she comes around, great. She'll know better next time. If she gets defensive, start looking for a new best friend. The type you could trust for the rest of your life.

the problem here is not so much the guy as it is your "friend".

I think she is the one that called you a DUFF in the first place, not K. and if im wrong, in any case, she didn't stand up for you so she is of that opinion too. surround yourself with more supportive friends, not ones that make you feel inferior!

That's not necessarily true. The friend did stand up for her friend, although we can all agree that a stronger reaction would have been preferred.

When I was in high school, a friend of a boy I had a crush on called me "ugly." The boy told me, and of course I was very upset. I don't know why he told me, it was a stupid thing that people sometimes do without thinking. I don't think he wanted to hurt me, but maybe he was tired of my having a crush on him and wanted to get rid of me, I don't know. (He turned out to be gay, by the way, so it's not like he was destined to be my soul mate. But he was a very cute, smart, interesting guy of whom I'll always be fond.)

Some time after, I mentioned his remark and he didn't remember. This was baffling to me, as of course it was something that was seared into my memory, but I don't think he was lying.

Even at that age, I wasn't in the habit of casually making cruel fun of other people's looks, in part because I felt so insecure about my own, but I've come to realize that nasty remarks weren't always as seriously and finally meant as I took them. It was a momentary attempt by someone to make themselves feel good. I'M NOT EXCUSING IT, OR SAYING MY REACTION WASN'T COMPLETELY JUSTIFIED. I'm not justifying taking bullying, but some people are going to make nasty remarks no matter what you do. It's always worse when there's some basis for the negative comment; someone calls you ugly and you already feel unattractive.

If I were the OP I would calmly say something like: "If you consistently allow your friends or friends of friends to insult me I have a problem with that. " If she's wishy-washy in her response I would consider ending the friendship.

I find that when you throat punch certain people, they have a hard time saying awful things.

Whats with all this texting? Can't your hot friend just talk on the phone?

I know that younger people text all the time, but texting when you're having a conversation with a friend is rude.

You have a right to feel hurt about a comment like that, it's degrading! I once had a friend that had the same first name as me (we're no longer friends due to other circumstances that have nothing to do with this post), I was talking to one of my guy friends about something we had done together and he interrupts me mid sentence and says "Wait, you mean the hot one?" I immediately responded with "Gee thanks a lot, so I'm chopped liver?" he was mortified and never made reference to her in that way again