Am I trying too hard?

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  • Morninglory81
    Morninglory81 Posts: 1,190 Member
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    Yes. You need to develop a healthier relationship with food where you have control over it, not the other way around.

    It's pretty sad that your boyfriend wanted to celebrate a big thing and couldn't because you can't handle one slice of pizza. Now that life has shown you how unworkable your "wipe out entire foods" plan is, you can change it. There will be lots of celebrations in life. You and he should be able to partake.

    Having such a good BF means you should probably make it up to him in some way. Balloon bouquet. Send him some delivery pizza. Show up with a small pizza and a big salad and drink to share and say sorry for screwing up your celebration and being so wacky about my own goals that I lost sight of you.

    You are right... I was just really scared that it would all turn up to be a 3000++ too much calories and that it would make me fall off the wagon and made such a big drama out of the whole thing... He was a perfect star, did not judge my decision and wouldn't have done so even if I had decided otherwise.
    Ordering take outs terrifies me because I feel I cannot control what I eat then :sad:

    Do it online. Order a small or personal sized pizza that you wouldn't be hurt by eating half. You would HAVE to leave half for him, wouldn't you? I mean you arent' so out of control that you'd grab it out of his hands and eat his half? Then get the salad that seems right to your amount of calories and a drink. Diet coke if you want. OR iced tea. Or whatever fits your calorie goals.

    Then light some candles and sprinkle some confetti or something and wait for him and the food to show up. Trust me if that's all the pizza that shows up you will not die and immediately turn into the blueberry girl from charlie and the chocolate factory.
    This is a smart woman!

    Fear is paralyzing, it is the fear you need to remove from food.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
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    ^^^34163386_6381.jpg
  • CrankMeUp
    CrankMeUp Posts: 2,860 Member
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    ^^^34163386_6381.jpg

    I love this.
  • j724mecham
    j724mecham Posts: 102 Member
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    My husband wanted pizza last night because he wasn't in the mood to cook. So I ordered the large and had 1 slice and some breadsticks. Pizza is certainly easy to go through very quickly, you just have to remember to talk to yourself. No distractions. So don't eat pizza while say watching TV. Drink plenty of water before it arrives. Then take small bites. You could even ask him to take it away after 2 slices or put it away. You can do it! But yes, I don't think you should feel like it's going to spin you out of control.
  • jgarrett731
    jgarrett731 Posts: 36 Member
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    I have days like this too. Yesterday I ate some gelato and my stomach started to hurt afterwards, so I guess I'm getting used to not having fatty/sweet things. When my husband wants to go out to eat, which is often I either have to tell him no (mostly because we don't have money for it at the time due to our budget) or I just eat half of my meal. When we get pizza I'll order a big salad and just eat one slice of pizza or have a bit of his to get my pizza fix. If I were to binge, I would just try my best to get back on track with my food intake and exercise to burn off some of those calories. That's about all you can do. It's really hard to resist the urge to eat the things we used to 'binge' on so often.
  • Bigjuicyhog
    Bigjuicyhog Posts: 61 Member
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    Yes. You need to develop a healthier relationship with food where you have control over it, not the other way around.

    It's pretty sad that your boyfriend wanted to celebrate a big thing and couldn't because you can't handle one slice of pizza. Now that life has shown you how unworkable your "wipe out entire foods" plan is, you can change it. There will be lots of celebrations in life. You and he should be able to partake.

    Having such a good BF means you should probably make it up to him in some way. Balloon bouquet. Send him some delivery pizza. Show up with a small pizza and a big salad and drink to share and say sorry for screwing up your celebration and being so wacky about my own goals that I lost sight of you.

    This quote is full of win. You can have to foods you love. It is just not good to binge on it. Track those calories like everything else, and eat it slowly to enjoy it. I have a bad habit of inhaling food, so slowing down really helps you enjoy it.
  • toutmonpossible
    toutmonpossible Posts: 1,580 Member
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    You did good. It seems like overkill, but if you haven't gotten to your goal weight and developed a proven record of maintenance you're right to avoid foods that will prompt a lot of bad eating.
  • ForumLurker
    ForumLurker Posts: 36
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    You have been too restrictive with what foods you've been eating for too long, you're placing foods in categories of "good" and "bad." I drove myself insane and fell off the weight loss wagon many times before I just formed a healthy relationship with food and stopped trying to cut things out because they were "bad."

    My suggestion, make your own pizzas, together. Pizza can actually be quite a complete meal, when made properly. Add low sodium pizza sauce (or make your own), a whole wheat crust, a sliced chicken breast, veggies you like, whatever cheese you want and you can measure every single thing on the pizza to log accurately. Your BF can do the same, he can put whatever meat and cheese he wants on there. You'll both be happy.
  • sevsmom
    sevsmom Posts: 1,172 Member
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    Food, and it's inherent calories, has too much control over you. I find that being militant about ANYthing is detrimental. You have to learn to be healthy while still living life. And, for most of us, that life will include pizza, birthday cake, office cookies, holiday meals, etc. Going over on calories one day does not a failure make. Chalk it up for what it was and move right back to mindful eating.

    Thinking we can totally control any aspect of our lives is a complete myth and one that drives people batty trying to acheive. Manage the things you can as well as you can. When the pizzas in life show up. . .find joy in that pizza and then move on.
  • ihad
    ihad Posts: 7,462 Member
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    Yes. You need to develop a healthier relationship with food where you have control over it, not the other way around.

    It's pretty sad that your boyfriend wanted to celebrate a big thing and couldn't because you can't handle one slice of pizza. Now that life has shown you how unworkable your "wipe out entire foods" plan is, you can change it. There will be lots of celebrations in life. You and he should be able to partake.

    Having such a good BF means you should probably make it up to him in some way. Balloon bouquet. Send him some delivery pizza. Show up with a small pizza and a big salad and drink to share and say sorry for screwing up your celebration and being so wacky about my own goals that I lost sight of you.

    You are right... I was just really scared that it would all turn up to be a 3000++ too much calories and that it would make me fall off the wagon and made such a big drama out of the whole thing... He was a perfect star, did not judge my decision and wouldn't have done so even if I had decided otherwise.
    Ordering take outs terrifies me because I feel I cannot control what I eat then :sad:

    Lots of good advice in this thread. At some point, you'll need to learn to eat trigger foods in moderation. So you might as well start planning for it. Practice under ideal circumstances. Change your relationship with it, and when it becomes a reasonable part of your diet, it can lose its power over you.
  • naterciarodrigues58
    naterciarodrigues58 Posts: 105 Member
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    Thanks for all the replies. I always said that I didn't want to go on a "diet" this time, and found myself completely terrified of something I used to love so much. Did not like the feeling.

    I will work on this in the future :flowerforyou:
  • mercurysfire
    mercurysfire Posts: 144 Member
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    i know how you feel and i did the same for a while. :) it's hard to get used to when you go from eating whatever whenever to counting everything and strict control. but you have to let loose every once in a while, and i promise as long as you tighten back up the next day or two you'll be fine. if he wants pizza, maybe lay a few ground rules like no extra large carnivore nightmares with extra extra cheese. just enough for the both of you to enjoy the pizza goodness and maybe enough for him to take to work for lunch the next day. he orders, NO extras like garlic bread or whatever. or go to a pizza by the slice shop and celebrate out of the house.

    you have to learn how to eat and live at the same time. :) which means like any other skill, you have to practice. and you might fail sometimes. as long as you get back at it instead of letting it beat you into submission you win. it does get easier. it gets more natural. it becomes habit rather than an obstacle. it's awesome that he didn't get pouty about it. and it's sooo hard because food is so ingrained in our psyche as a means of celebration.

    BUT you have to take this at a pace that makes sense to you and that you are comfortable. with. i gave myself panic attacks for a while when we had to eat out. especially if it was a local place that didn't have nutritional data. eventually i was able to relax, not panic, and pick out the most reasonable thing on the menu (FYI- beware of Chili's. seriously...) take your time. do what you feel like you need to but realize that there's only failure if you throw in the towel completely. if you have a bad day you have one. but you're never going to not need to eat and there's more occasions to eat than not. baby steps. :) so what you have to until you can trust yourself to do it without fear. and forgive yourself for those times when you screw up.
  • jackjackattck
    jackjackattck Posts: 117 Member
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    Like many people on this post have already said, you need to find a diet that fits into your lifestyle. It is impractical for most people to cut out ALL junk food, no pizza, chocolate, cake at a party, wings and beer on game night, for all eternity! The trick that I have found is that when situations come up or I have a craving, I eat it, just in moderation. If you cut out pizza for the rest of your life, yes someday you are bound to binge and eat 3000+ calories. However, if you eat a salad first and then 1-2 slices of pizza on a special occasion, the next time pizza comes up, you won't be salivating at the thought. I allow myself one glass of wine a night as well as a small piece of chocolate, and this saves me from drinking an entire bottle of wine or having 15 pieces of chocolate in one sitting. Balance is a large part of life and a healthy diet. You need to develop a healthier relationship with food, and allow yourself to give in to those special moments, just not over do it. What would a baseball game be without beer and a hot dog? Or a birthday party without one slice of cake? I honestly can't imagine a life without those indulgences! To me, it would be a boring and deprived life, not a healthy and happy one.

    Good luck!
  • prattiger65
    prattiger65 Posts: 1,657 Member
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    You did good. It seems like overkill, but if you haven't gotten to your goal weight and developed a proven record of maintenance you're right to avoid foods that will prompt a lot of bad eating.

    Nonsense
  • jackjackattck
    jackjackattck Posts: 117 Member
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    You did good. It seems like overkill, but if you haven't gotten to your goal weight and developed a proven record of maintenance you're right to avoid foods that will prompt a lot of bad eating.

    Nonsense

    ^^This! What good is a "diet" of restricting going to do once she DOES achieve her goal weight and then goes back to eating NORMAL again? She will gain the weight right back. Never do anything while trying to lose weight that you cannot continue in maintenance.
  • mirrinias
    mirrinias Posts: 80 Member
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    In this situation I would have tried to make some kind of compromise. Luckily, pizza isn't a trigger food for me, although I do want it sometimes. A few options would have been to let him order his own pizza but order a personal pizza for you, or buy a lean cuisine pizza (surprisingly good). A third option would have been to order a thin-crust pizza, which drastically reduces the calories per slice. I ordered a thin crust veggie pizza and ended up eating four pieces each day for two days and still lost weight. It's about management. And, if your calories are still under maintenance, you won't gain weight from it. At the worst you'll stay the same or gain a little water weight which is temporary.

    That being said, I have to turn down all chocolate ice cream. I still can't handle it. Although I did eat chocolate yesterday for the first time in a couple weeks and it didn't trigger cravings!

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