Avoiding Others While Working Out
jljshoe1979
Posts: 325 Member
Two days ago, I went for my walk/run way earlier than usual. While at the park, I ran into my father-in-law. He stopped and chatted, but cut the conversation fairly short (at least for him). Later on that night, he called and made a point to tell me he's at the park now every morning around that time. It was as if implying he wanted me to walk with him. This may sound rude to some, but that's not going to happen. Working out is not exactly a social event for me. I like to go at my own pace. Plus, it's not my favorite thing to do, so when I do it I just want to get it done, and one thing I do like about working out is alone time. The only person in the world I would even consider doing this with is my husband and the truth is I don't push him into working out because of "the alone time factor”. I mean, I know some people workout together and they like that support system, but it just doesn't seem to be my thing. I wondered if anyone else did the same thing or maybe avoid people at the gym for the same reason.
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Your decision. I also work out alone. I like setting my own schedule and pushing as hard as I can. I don't have time to chit chat - even with my hubby. I enjoy the alone in my brain time too. Do your thing.0
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I completely understand where you're coming from. My friends tend to have different goals than me, so I feel held back if I workout with them. The only person I've been able to workout with and still feel like I got a "good one in" is with my sister. But yeah, I would probably do the same as you and avoid walking with my father-in-law, lol.0
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I prefer working out alone. It is my time to "do me" and not have to talk, be polite, or consider someone else's time. If I'm burnt out early, i can leave early. If I'm really getting it in, I can stay longer if I want. If working out alone is what you enjoy, do. Put YOU first and do good things for your body.0
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When I run I want to be alone. I want to be able to set my own pace. I don't want to have to try to talk or make conversation. I'll go for fitness walks with friends but I consider those more social than workout (even though we're being active). I strength train with a personal trainer so obviously I'm there with him, but I don't want to share that time with anyone else either - like have a workout buddy. It's just in the past several months that I've discovered I like working out, and I'm very selfish with that time.0
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Two days ago, I went for my walk/run way earlier than usual. While at the park, I ran into my father-in-law. He stopped and chatted, but cut the conversation fairly short (at least for him). Later on that night, he called and made a point to tell me he's at the park now every morning around that time. It was as if implying he wanted me to walk with him. This may sound rude to some, but that's not going to happen. Working out is not exactly a social event for me. I like to go at my own pace. Plus, it's not my favorite thing to do, so when I do it I just want to get it done, and one thing I do like about working out is alone time. The only person in the world I would even consider doing this with is my husband and the truth is I don't push him into working out because of "the alone time factor”. I mean, I know some people workout together and they like that support system, but it just doesn't seem to be my thing. I wondered if anyone else did the same thing or maybe avoid people at the gym for the same reason.
I am completely the same as you, my husband would be the only person I would want to work out with, other than that, as much as I love my friends, I prefer training on my own.
I use my running time as "me" time, I do not take my phone, I plug in my i-pod and away I go for around an hour, it is so peaceful and nobody will bother me as I am running and I keep running and listening to my i-pod :happy: - no phone calls, no hassle, no arguments, nothing, just me and my running.
Bloody saves my sanity I tell you :laugh:0 -
Perhaps he's just lonely? Everyone wants to do their own thing, (including me) that is completely understandable. If it were me I might make time for my family by perhaps offering to meet once or twice a week for a "social" walk and making up for exercise at another time.0
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Don't feel weird about it at all! And I would just tell your father in law that you really look forward to spending that time alone if he asks again.
I have tried over and over again to get people to come workout with me or be "gym buddies" if you will, I finally gave up because 98% of the time they would flake out on me and then when they did show up all they would do is complain throughout the whole workout. I'm a personal trainer and a fitness instructor so the majority of my day is spent working out other people's fitness goals and programs, encouraging them, dealing with the moaning and the groaning, I don't want or need to listen to it while I'm getting my workout in too. I also feel like when I workout with someone that I'm not pushing myself the way I normally do as I tend to unintentionally/unconsciously switch into trainer mode (the only people that I've been able to workout with are not at the same fitness level... mostly beginners).
It's also frustrating for me to nail down a time that works for both of us. I work 6am-2pm monday through friday and so I'm up at 4:30 every morning, a lot of people don't get out until 5:30pm and want to meet up around 6 or 7.... which means that I won't be done and home until 8 or 8:30, after dinner, shower and night time wind down routine, it's already 10:00! Waaaaay too late for me!! haha.0 -
He was either implying he wanted to walk with you OR he was making a point of telling you that so you change your time because he's like you and doesn't want to be bothered when he's there LOL.0
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I prefer working out alone. It is my time to "do me" and not have to talk, be polite, or consider someone else's time. If I'm burnt out early, i can leave early. If I'm really getting it in, I can stay longer if I want. If working out alone is what you enjoy, do. Put YOU first and do good things for your body.
Yep, I find the prospect of having to talk to someone else while exercising VERY off putting!0 -
I like to workout alone also. If he is looking for socializing, just tell him you need to focus on your exercise but maybe once ot twice a month you could do it together. OR get there earlier than him and spend a few minutes with him before you leave.0
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I TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOU. I SET MY PACE AND HATE IF SOMEONE SLOWS ME DOWN OR TOTALLY GETS OFF TRACK FOR TOO MUCH TALKING. THATS TIME TO FOCUS ON ME AND MY THOUGHTS. SO, NO, YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY ENTITLED TO FEEL THIS WAY ABOUT YOUR WORKOUTS. I JUST STARTED BACK RUNNING AFTER 2YRS FROM HAVING A BABY, FOR ME IT IS TAKING A LOT OF DISCIPLINE TO GET BACK ON TRACK. LUCKILY MY OLDEST SON IS TRAINING FOR SCHOOL AND HE GOT ME MOTIVATED TO GET BACK ON THE TRACK. HE GOES AT HIS OWN PACE AND DOESN'T BOTHER ME.0
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I totally get where you are coming from. I have one friend that wants to walk with me but she is able to go much faster than I can. When I try to walk with her, I end up getting muscle cramps and shin splints...not good. I have another friend that likes to walk with me but she moves a lot slower, so I don't feel like I get my heart rate up enough and its not doing me any good. I much rather go by myself at my own pace.
It might be harder to avoid a family member, maybe you need to scout out a different location. Good luck to you in your weight loss journey!!0 -
I prefer doing it on my own -- so don't feel bad0
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I wear headphones -- half the time I'm not even listening to anything, I just have them on for appearance since most people won't try to talk to you if they assume you can't hear them. Granted I also don't live near anybody I know.
In regards to your father in law -- maybe it would help him to have you to occasionally walk with. Nothing wrong with setting aside one or two mornings a week to go walk with him and just enjoy the company. Maybe HE just wants some company when he goes to the park. Nothing wrong with doing one or two days with him and then the rest on your own; maybe set something up so that he expects it certain days and then you can have your alone time the rest of the week.0 -
When I am running I prefer to be alone. Listening to my footsteps and getting lost in my head is almost theraputic, and running with someone else just doesn't give me that same feeling.
However, when I'm at the gym I like the work out with my friends occassionally. Especially when I am feeling lazy because when someone is there watching me I feel like I have to push myself harder even when I don't feel like it.
Perhaps he is just wanting to spend more time with you. Maybe call him up and say how nice it was to run into him and make plans to invite him over for dinner or something
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For me it depends. If I'm doing a class, honestly it would be fun with friends/family. But if I'm in the park or on the equipment in the gym, I want to be able to do my thing and be in my zone, headphones on.0
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Ha I don't really have to avoid people. I mostly run between 10 PM and 12.30 AM, through the forest, so I hardly see any people at all while running, let alone people I know. But I live in a small city of about 40.000 inhabitants, so there's lot of quiet green areas around.0
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I like to work out alone too. Let's me focus and relax. (If those two things can be done at the same time.) You've gotten some good advice here. You're not off base.
That being said. If you don't enjoy your workout, maybe it's time to look around for something new? It's a whole lot easier to stick to it when it is something you look forward to rather than something you dread. :flowerforyou:0 -
I'm like that when I go to the gym. I just want to drop my little man off at the playroom and have an hour or two to myself. When Hubby comes along I find feel distracted and rushed. We have two very different workouts and I'm always trying to guess how far he is in his because once he's done I always feel bad about taking 'so long'. He doesn't mind at all and encourages me to take my time, but..... I don't know. That never happens. lol I welcome their company for other activities. For example, we have recently started going for a brisk walk in the evenings with our son (in the stroller) and we all enjoy spending that time together. Swimming with the family is a lot of fun too.
I guess, somewhere along the way, 'gym time' became 'me time'. I really don't want to worry about anyone else for that hour (or two). :happy:0 -
Like pretty much everyone else, I like to workout alone. If it is that father in law just wants to be friendly and chat and you don't mind that, possibly time your run at the park once a week so you are done when he gets there. Then you can do a little cool down walk with him, have a nice chat and then go home. It wouldn't have to be a long walk as you can truthfully say that you've already put in a good workout and want to go home and shower and relax.0
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If I'm walking the dog I like having someone to chat with. If I'm in the weight room the world can buzz off.0
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I am totally with you. I like to do things in my own pace and this is the reason I avoid group classes at gym. I like to go to gym with my husband though (don't remeber when we did it last time) . As for walking/jogging/running I definetely like to do it alone.0
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I like to work out alone too. Let's me focus and relax. (If those two things can be done at the same time.) You've gotten some good advice here. You're not off base.
That being said. If you don't enjoy your workout, maybe it's time to look around for something new? It's a whole lot easier to stick to it when it is something you look forward to rather than something you dread. :flowerforyou:
I don't dread it, I consider it a part of life...I don't really like to floss or do laundry either, but I do those too. I have done all sorts of activities. This walking/running routine just happens to be what I'm doing at the moment. I'm trying to build up to being able to jog for 30 minutes...we'll see how that goes. I wish I could find an activity that I just fall in love with and lose track of time while doing it, but there is nothing in the world that I have found that works for me (even activities outside of working out). Thanks for the advice though, you are right - it is a whole lot easier to stick with something you enjoy.0 -
Perhaps he's just lonely? Everyone wants to do their own thing, (including me) that is completely understandable. If it were me I might make time for my family by perhaps offering to meet once or twice a week for a "social" walk and making up for exercise at another time.
He may be lonely (some of that is his problem, as he won't do anything but complain about being retired and having nothing to do). I did find out he HAS a walking buddy from his neighborhood. I don't know where the guy was that morning, but he normally walks with him.0 -
He was either implying he wanted to walk with you OR he was making a point of telling you that so you change your time because he's like you and doesn't want to be bothered when he's there LOL.
Yeah - that last part...that's what I'm hoping for....LOL
After I told him, in that same phone call, that I typically walk/run later. He was like "you need to run earlier, when it's cooler." I was like "dang, when did you have time to get your physiology degree." See around here, it is cooler, but I swear it is sooo much more humid - and I can't stand that...air so thick you can't breathe.0 -
I like exercising alone also. It's my only me time!0
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The only person I like working out with is my husband. He's super supportive and a good spotter if I lift heavier weights. If he's not there, I prefer to exercise by myself. I've worked out with friends, but I discovered I don't enjoy it. I much prefer hanging out with them outside of the gym. When it comes to working out, I'm more of a solo exerciser. I'm not into group classes. I like to work out alone. I find it more relaxing and I can get into my exercise zone.0
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I walk and ride in our neighborhood...we all kinda know one another. When I get stopped, I simply and kindly let them know I will speak with them later. Never a problem and often I will go back for a chat.
I do go to a gym occasionally and pretty much stick to myself. However, when my wife and I workout together, it rocks as she is so supportive and we push one another in a healthy manner. Working out wherever is my time for me as well as an introvert, so I use that time to defrag and de-stress.
However, I really have never found a reason to be rude to anyone.
@Booksandbeaches...yes, indeed.0 -
I walk and ride in our neighborhood...we all kinda know one another. When I get stopped, I simply and kindly let them know I will speak with them later. Never a problem and often I will go back for a chat.
I do go to a gym occasionally and pretty much stick to myself. However, when my wife and I workout together, it rocks as she is so supportive and we push one another in a healthy manner. Working out wherever is my time for me as well as an introvert, so I use that time to defrag and de-stress.
However, I really have never found a reason to be rude to anyone.
@Booksandbeaches...yes, indeed.
Kudos to you and your wife working out together - that's awesome!! I did stop and speak to him - I didn't think I was being rude. I just was kinda surprised at the phone call later on about telling me he was at the park everyday at such and such a time...0 -
The only person I like working out with is my husband. He's super supportive and a good spotter if I lift heavier weights. If he's not there, I prefer to exercise by myself. I've worked out with friends, but I discovered I don't enjoy it. I much prefer hanging out with them outside of the gym. When it comes to working out, I'm more of a solo exerciser. I'm not into group classes. I like to work out alone. I find it more relaxing and I can get into my exercise zone.
Just wanted to say I think it's awesome your husband spots for you!!! It's awesome you guys can work out together!0
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