Green with Envy

ysaidpie
ysaidpie Posts: 83
edited September 21 in Motivation and Support
I am so bummed. I was a chubby kid and obese teenager. I got up to 220 lbs (last weigh in at the doctors office- I never got on the scale at home). At 5 ft 2 in, this is a lot of weight- I am small framed. So after a few years of living on my own, I changed my eating habits and began to exercise. It took me a little over a year, but I got down to 155 at the age of 23. I continued to eat healthier & by 24 I was down to 135. A year later I slowly got to 129. Then I had my daughter. Gained pregnancy weight, but lost all of it within a year of giving birth. I still didn't feel comfortable with myself. So I lived on a constant diet. Now I have been doing MFP, eating healthier and exercising. I lost weight and have increased stamina & endurance. But I am still discouraged. My belly is flabby, my arms flap, and my thighs have cellulite. My friend recently lost 40 pounds, and is wearing belly shirts and bikinis. I wear a one peice and shorts to cover my thighs. I weigh less than her, but look heavier. My sister weighs more than me, but again looks better. This I the whole reason why I continue to try to lose fat- because I hope that at a certain weight, all the evidence of my past life as an overweight person will disappear. But I get closer to my goal of 110, and it's still there. Then what? Change my goal to 105? I get angry over it. I blame my mom for making me fat- for feeding me fast food and processed crap when I was a kid. I can't afford cosmetic surgery. It makes me so depressed and envious that I can't even stand to look at the thin girls with their tight clothes and stomach exposed. I just hope my body can someday be "normal" so that I can do these things that I feel every girl should be able to do atleast once in their life- wear a bikini (or atleast a bathing suit with no cover-up!). Anyone have success returning their body to "normal" after losing a great amount of weight, without surgery??

Replies

  • kcdrake
    kcdrake Posts: 512
    Have you been doing muscle toning exercise? You might end up gaining some weight from it, but it'd be in lean muscle and your body fat % (which is really the issue) will continue to go down. A lot of people complain about being "thin-fat" which is basically when you're thin but still "flabby" which seems to be what you're describing. Start lifting weights or doing an exercise that will tone your muscles and you'll probably be thrilled with the improvement!

    And may I offer a HUGE congratulations on losing so much weight! That is AMAZING!
  • alexialawson
    alexialawson Posts: 5
    I just want to start out with saying congratulations on losing that much weight. It takes a lot of strength and determination to do what you have done thus far, so an applause to you!
    Secondly, I understand where you are coming from. After I moved back in with my parents at 19 years old, I struggled with the way I looked and felt in a bikini, shorts, or whatever. I had gained so much weight, my thighs made a V shape and I got stretch marks everywhere a young girl shouldn't (I've never had children, and I had received stretch marks on my thighs, stomach, and hips). Living in Arizona, it's particularly hard to be comfortable with stretch marks when it's bathing suit season 8 months out of the year. That being said, 2 things saved my self confidence; bio oil & a positive out look. I realized that with so many shapes, sizes, skin tones, freckles, short torso, long legs; the female body in particular is beautiful as long as you recognize what is normal and what is not.
    I don't have any miracle words for you; I'm not in the same position as you are. But I just want you to remember how strong you were to lose all that weight in the first place, and all of that is what makes you who you are. You're family and friends will love you no matter what your exterior looks like. And if they don't, well then you didn't need them anyway! :smile:
  • Beebee78
    Beebee78 Posts: 703
    I don't have any amazing words of wisdom for you, but I just wanted to say that you should be so proud of yourself for losing all that weight xxx
  • BigGail
    BigGail Posts: 465 Member
    Are you exercising hun? Muscle burns fat! I bet you don't look half as bad as you think you know. I am beginning to sound like a broken record here, but have you tried massage? Even if it doesn't do anything else, it'll make your skin nice and soft and help flush those toxins. Bio oil is very good.
    Chin up - and don't worry about anyone else - I bet you have things about you that they're envious of too! Like your lovely daughter maybe?
  • cbirdso
    cbirdso Posts: 465 Member
    CONGRATULATIONS on your weight loss! You should be so proud. I'll bet 80% of MFP'ers ENVY YOU! To your point, however, now is the time to concentrate on BUILDING muscle mass rather than losing weight. All the dedication you showed in the past can be redirected to strength training. There are a lot of good (and cheap) ways to do this. Buy some weights and look to your MFP family for specific exercises. I have seen lots of stories of people on MFP who have been successful in reducing the flab left over from weight loss in this way. Also, to eliminate stretch marks, buy liquid Vitamin E and rub that on your skin. This worked for me.
  • iDoc
    iDoc Posts: 8
    Hi! I want to second the congratulations on the weight loss. I popped over to your profile. Your current weight for your age is VERY healthy by BMI standards and your weight overall is probably around the 20th percentile for women your age. My point is that your weight - the numbers - don't seem to be a problem. I agree with others that you seem to want to build muscle mass or become leaner. It is possible to be normal or even underweight and "overfat." You could go for a body fat analysis to check. If you do build muscle, you will have to perhaps tolerate some weight gain though from the increase in muscle mass. It takes months though to gain a few pounds of muscle.

    If you have excess SKIN after so much lost weight , then you might want to consult with a plastic surgeon. Even if he doesn't recommend surgery or you can't afford it, he could provide you with feedback on what is going on (if it's skin, excess fat, how much muscle tone you have) and what you can do about it (non-surgically as well).
  • ysaidpie
    ysaidpie Posts: 83
    Hi there- thanks to everyone for all the positive support :)
    IDoc, I went to a plastic surgeon last year for a consult. Paid $100 for the visit, and he told me that I have extra skin from the weight loss and am a "prime candidate for surgery." He said there is nothing I can do to get rid of the extra skin besides surgical intervention. Then gave me the price of $14,000 for everything I would need done (which didn't include my arms because he said the size of the scar wouldn't be worth it). So many people I talk to (co-workers, not experts) say that I can fix my problem without surgery, though. I just don't know if the plastic surgeon was after money- I hate to think that the only thing that can fix me is something I can't afford to do. So i just keep trying to lose weight. I do cardio and have seen some improvement in my legs and arms from running inclines with the jogging stroller. I just started lifting 5 lbs weights two days ago. I will start doing crunches now too, because it seems the general consensus is I need weight training. I will see how it goes- I have nothing to lose :)
  • iDoc
    iDoc Posts: 8
    Honestly, then, if you have a lot of skin, it does sound like you might eventually need surgery for the extra skin. Skin is skin. It can't turn into fat or muscle, just like fat can't turn into muscle and muscle can't turn into fat. I think you're brave to be dealing with that issue and I wish you all the best! Oh and for the strength training, I recommend Jillian Michael's No More Trouble Zones.
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