Forget exercising, forget diet!

BathtubBadger
BathtubBadger Posts: 217 Member
in Fitness and Exercise
You think by eating in a deficit you'll get thin?
You think by exercising you'll gain muscle mass?

PFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTT I TELL YOU
Because now, us FAT GIRLS have this amazing fantasticalicious product that will keep our sorry fat *kitten* from invading the gym while all the hotties are hanging out. We don't need to do crunches. We don't need to eat lean.

We need this:

75bd3cb2daf1ff945300db89613fef08.png
Brand name hidden because mystery is where it's at.

Because this cream, babies, will make a six pack BURST from within your flabs. It's like magic. It has these little massage-like balls that will melt all the lard and make you ripped. Instantly.

BUT WAIT
You don't want a six pack because EWWWW bulky! It's so mannish! I don't want to be bulky :sad:

Well!
There's also this option, from the same MIRACULOUS brand (that remains secret):

3GJIb.jpg

It says it all in the tube: "LIQUID WORKOUT FOR LAZY ABDOMINALS"

Because I'm a fat girl and OBVIOUSLY lazy by default. And hot cocoa is liquid. Soda is liquid. Molten butter is liquid. My work outs should be liquid as well!

And then, there's this:

3GJR9.jpg

Let's just SHUT DOWN MFP. Who needs MFP now? With these products, that are like... 150 dollars or more, we will get all the results us FAT GIRLS need.
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Replies

  • MartinGibbs
    MartinGibbs Posts: 9 Member
    lol, if any -- *any* of this stuff actually worked there would be very few obese people; just take a pill, cream, tonic, etc., and it melts away. I feel really sad for those who fall for this, and very angry at the hucksters who sell this crap.
  • BathtubBadger
    BathtubBadger Posts: 217 Member
    The sad thing is that this is actually a popular brand that doesn't make it cheap. It's a bunch of bollocks sold with terrible names, the ingredients list includes nothing scientifically proven to work against obesity...


    It looks like a big fat joke [pardon for the bad pun], but it's serious.
  • BathtubBadger
    BathtubBadger Posts: 217 Member
    :explode: angry bump.
  • meredith1123
    meredith1123 Posts: 843 Member
    IN... for S & G's.....


    hehe :laugh:
  • EvilFeevil
    EvilFeevil Posts: 95 Member
    I had no idea what this product was so I Googled it by the phrase "LIQUID WORKOUT FOR LAZY ABDOMINALS" and when I saw the product name I LAUGHED. Laughing burns calories, right? So at least it did something for me and my health. :laugh:
  • delaniecastillo
    delaniecastillo Posts: 284
    Fatgirlslim is cleverly named. Gets me all thinking about Fatboyslim and Christopher Walken dancing. Then I started dancing in my chair and OMG FATGIRLSLIM IS WORKING ALREADY AND I HAVEN'T BOUGHT IT YET.
  • BathtubBadger
    BathtubBadger Posts: 217 Member
    I'm more interested on the six pack. C'MON. IT HAS BALLS MASSAGE STUFF.

    MUST WORK.
  • munchkin0518
    munchkin0518 Posts: 32
    Oh yes. How blissful would that be?
  • SlinkySpencer
    SlinkySpencer Posts: 139 Member
    Fatgirlslim is cleverly named. Gets me all thinking about Fatboyslim and Christopher Walken dancing. Then I started dancing in my chair and OMG FATGIRLSLIM IS WORKING ALREADY AND I HAVEN'T BOUGHT IT YET.

    ^^ DingDing--WINNER! :D

    christopherwalken4.gif
  • jadethief
    jadethief Posts: 266 Member
    From the product description:

    What it is:
    A waist-targeting cooling gel packed with caffeine and energizing amino acids.

    What it does:
    Wage war on your waist with energizing, extended-release caffeine, and a cool burst of mint oil.

    What else you need to know:
    This is not a weight- or fat-loss product
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,992 Member
    I love the OP. Keep it coming girl!!!!

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • BathtubBadger
    BathtubBadger Posts: 217 Member
    From the product description:

    What it is:
    A waist-targeting cooling gel packed with caffeine and energizing amino acids.

    What it does:
    Wage war on your waist with energizing, extended-release caffeine, and a cool burst of mint oil.

    What else you need to know:
    This is not a weight- or fat-loss product


    So you're saying I've been wrong? Nooooooooooooooo :sad:
  • leannerae40
    leannerae40 Posts: 200 Member
    Oh, I've got to get my credit card. I must buy it. Maybe I better not...

    My personal trainer would probably make me eat it.
  • BathtubBadger
    BathtubBadger Posts: 217 Member
    Oh, I've got to get my credit card. I must buy it. Maybe I better not...

    My personal trainer would probably make me eat it.

    Well, it says there that it has caffeine. I might want to eat it.
  • BathtubBadger
    BathtubBadger Posts: 217 Member
    Oh yes. How blissful would that be?

    I see what you did there.
  • ami5000psu
    ami5000psu Posts: 391 Member
    You're telling me that all I have to do to get a six pack is rub some balls on my stomach? Wait that came out wrong.
  • BathtubBadger
    BathtubBadger Posts: 217 Member
    You're telling me that all I have to do to get a six pack is rub some balls on my stomach? Wait that came out wrong.

    Your face is too cute. You're too cute. Wait. Where were we? Oh. Yeah. Balls.
  • Gizziemoto
    Gizziemoto Posts: 430 Member
    You're telling me that all I have to do to get a six pack is rub some balls on my stomach? Wait that came out wrong.


    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    Better hurry it is selling out!!!
  • KANGOOJUMPS
    KANGOOJUMPS Posts: 6,474 Member
    you got that right, lets drink.
  • Janice2Shakira
    Janice2Shakira Posts: 257
    Fatgirlslim is cleverly named. Gets me all thinking about Fatboyslim and Christopher Walken dancing. Then I started dancing in my chair and OMG FATGIRLSLIM IS WORKING ALREADY AND I HAVEN'T BOUGHT IT YET.

    ^^ DingDing--WINNER! :D

    christopherwalken4.gif


    This, all day.
  • hannahpistolas
    hannahpistolas Posts: 290 Member
    I always knew that balls would be the solution to all of life's problems.
  • mooookie
    mooookie Posts: 22
    Melon break up and then this.. wow
    You are the funniest woman alive.
  • NiSan12
    NiSan12 Posts: 374 Member
    I had no idea what this product was so I Googled it by the phrase "LIQUID WORKOUT FOR LAZY ABDOMINALS" and when I saw the product name I LAUGHED. Laughing burns calories, right? So at least it did something for me and my health. :laugh:

    LIKE
  • TeachTheGirl
    TeachTheGirl Posts: 2,091 Member
    Groupon keeps showering me with these amazing offers.

    Now how am I supposed to delete those emails? T_T
  • groundhawg
    groundhawg Posts: 121 Member
    ****, I like my abs, but I hope they come out with one for my *kitten* - I am all BA-DONK.

    Hopefully it will leave just enough cellulite to still have that "natural" look, that I so desperately want. I would love to not have to do squats other than to get down on the toilet!



    And finally, the fact that you cannot suck your *kitten* in is how you know God is a man. If it was a woman, you could suck in your gut and *kitten* to inflate those ta-ta's. Oh well. Next round of evolution I suppose.
  • Tobi1013
    Tobi1013 Posts: 732 Member
    Oh yes. How blissful would that be?

    I see what you did there.

    I had to google this to find out the brand (cause I was hoping it wasn't them) and now I'm kinda pissed off. I REALLY like some of their products and now I feel icky for helping to line their pockets while they are putting this kind of **** out on the market.
  • Mr_Bad_Example
    Mr_Bad_Example Posts: 2,403 Member
    No such products for men? I am going to sue. Totally.
  • sati18
    sati18 Posts: 153 Member
    You're telling me that all I have to do to get a six pack is rub some balls on my stomach? Wait that came out wrong.

    EPIC response! i lolled so hard i spilt my wine
  • sakuragreenlily
    sakuragreenlily Posts: 334 Member
    You realize that, because of this post, someone is purchasing these products now, right?

    Keep up the good work. :drinker:
  • bettysueANDboe
    bettysueANDboe Posts: 9
    I have the Love Handler and I really, truly enjoy it! It has helped to tighten up the skin around my pooch (FUPA!!) and I really notice a difference when I'm feeling bloated and it relaxes the area and depuffs it.

    AND I"M NOT KIDDING! Lol. If it's available, I purchase products like this at Sephora because they have 100% return policy -no problem- I've returned barely used to almost completely used products if they really didn't work for me.

    Anyway, I've heard this product seems to work well for people who have a "saggier" abdominal section from quick weight loss and/or babies.

    Again, every person is different. And products react differently to different bodies. Ex: I can't use Proactive or similar skin lines because 1) my skin because immune to it, and 2) is now so sensitive to it BREAKS OUT like crazy. Some of my other friends have used it for 10 years and refuse/don't need to use anything else.

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