where?are you invisible too?

Having been a woman who has been thin..i notice what I call "becoming invisible." When ever I gain weight, I notice that I fall off the radar of my fellow man.

This is a funny example... but, .when I gained the 20 or so pounds I am losing .. I noticed that when I walked into Sephora cosmetics store, i no longer was bombarded with clerks there asking me for help. I told my husband.. when I walk into the store and get asked for help.. I know I'm getting somewhere.

Well, yesterday I went in...and five clerks hounded me..."may I help you?..."may I help you?" ..... I was like? "who me?" lol

Have any of you had the same kind of thing happen.

Strange isn't it, I have had the same when I was heavier, getting disregarded and ignored.

I never was thin so... I never was visible. Fat seems to have invisibility powers. :laugh:

People ignore me. It's like being seen with a fat person makes them look as bad as it can. For men it's worse... and I'm not talking about the romantic scene. Colleagues and coworkers along the years have ignored me over the years in proffesional related things. Ok, you may be attracted by me... but at least treat me like a human being, not a chair. I know looks matter, but I still have to live on this planet.
Clerks ignore me (I am happy when they ignore because sometimes they act like I am in the store for stealing). Clerks look at me funny if I buy beauty products, especially when I buy expensive stuff.

It's a perpetual fairy tale syndrome. Only the slim and the good looking must be nice. I am fat... surely must be the bad ugly sister, who does not know how to have fun and must be broken.

Well... this has a good side. I really appreciate the people in my life that really see me. That love me and don't act like being fat is the most disgusting thing.
And I know that the attention I slowly gain by slowly losing it's just fake and superficial.

I think its worse when people you 'know' come out of the woodworks. People from highschool or college or that friend of a friend who never gave you a second glance.

Ohhhh you wanna comment on my facebook all the time?
Ohhhh you wanna invite me to a get together now?
Ohhhh you wanna obviously just be interested in me now that I have a 'hot body'


NO! You ignored me at my worst, you do not get to shower me with affection at my best.

I've noticed that in clothing stores, now that I look like they obviously have my size.

I never was thin so... I never was visible. Fat seems to have invisibility powers. :laugh:

People ignore me. It's like being seen with a fat person makes them look as bad as it can. For men it's worse... and I'm not talking about the romantic scene. Colleagues and coworkers along the years have ignored me over the years in proffesional related things. Ok, you may be attracted by me... but at least treat me like a human being, not a chair. I know looks matter, but I still have to live on this planet.
Clerks ignore me (I am happy when they ignore because sometimes they act like I am in the store for stealing). Clerks look at me funny if I buy beauty products, especially when I buy expensive stuff.

It's a perpetual fairy tale syndrome. Only the slim and the good looking must be nice. I am fat... surely must be the bad ugly sister, who does not know how to have fun and must be broken.

Well... this has a good side. I really appreciate the people in my life that really see me. That love me and don't act like being fat is the most disgusting thing.
And I know that the attention I slowly gain by slowly losing it's just fake and superficial.

Hey I just wanna say that people are shallow a**holes. Not everybody is like them and the jokes on them on life in general. I am not great with words but I just want to put it out there that there are good people too. Sorry you are having such a rough time with it.

And to contribute to the topic as well: as a man I feel the same. I am getting more and more fit lately and can really feel people starting to look. I tend to not look back although sometimes I catch a glimpse. Drove my bike a couple days ago and saw girl that I know is at my school but never had any contact with. Normally she wouldn't even see me but I was in gym attire and lost about 10 kg (22 lbs) and I could really see the shock on her face as I tried to figure out how I knew her. Pretty awesome feeling.

nope.. I haven't ´been much bigger ever, but when I was chubbier, I also had more boobs (like c+). I never got much attention to my boobs normally, but when they were bigger people stared at them a lot. it was very disturbing. some men even did the 'talking to your boobs' thing O.o that was very creepy for me, so happy they're not that size anymore :P invisible boobs!

This is an excellent observation and I completely relate. When I was slender, store clerks were so helpful and now that I have gained weight, I have been ignored in some stores (not all by any means) and given subtle insults as well. It is a sad comment on our society, but at least we are not alone and we know enough not to do it to others.

I remember walking into Abercrombie one time when I was in high school, cause they just put one into the mall where i did my school shopping and it sounded like something awesome was going on in there (much to my disappointment I've come to realize they are anti lights and pro ****ty music). The people behind the counter just kind of looked at me horrified. Makes you feel bad.

I won't even buy their stuff used anymore after I found out about their attitude towards anyone over a size 10.

Maybe it's a self confidence thing. I know when I feel better about myself, I tend to be a more open and receptive person generally, and it seems that strangers (store staff, folks on the street, etc.) respond positively to that even before I've spoken to them. When I don't feel good about myself, I've been told I exude a distinct "leave me alone" vibe, non-verbally, and people tend to leave me alone. It may not even be a conscious thing on your part or on the part of those around you. We humans are very attuned to body language and the vibes the people around us produce, even if we don't think about it.

I get this at work.

I work in education across 27 different schools and have noticed teachers and admin staff much nicer and friendlier to me than last year.

It's kinda sickening, I'm the same person dammit!

Yes!
After gaining a bit of weight last summer I no longer get the attention I was used to.haha

Yeah, when I was thinner I used to be the one getting hit on out of all my friends. At bars and social events guys would always come up to me. After I gained weight all of that stopped. It could have been a combo of my promise ring and the weight gain but I didn't get hit on nearly as much.

bump

I notice this too. It may be part confidence though. I have to wear a suit to work and if I go somewhere after work I get treated differently then if I am in my regular clothes. Of course I think I am being judge on how I look. I refuse to purchase items at stores where I am not acknowledged and just leave and take my money with me.

I don't notice it in stores so much (maybe because I only shop at Costco? LOL) but I do notice men noticing me again.