Why do some people try to make me feel bad..
Absonthebrain
Posts: 587 Member
Why do some people try to make me feel bad for working out?
So today was my sis in laws baby shower and it was great, I actually helped host it which did make me a bit nervous but I pretended that it didn't(I'm a quiet person). Any-who some of my hubby's family had some looks and comments about me... One made me frustrated, his cousin says oh "you work out", and I was like yeah. The she says "well you don't wanna get buns of steel men don't like that, trust me he'll leave. Men like alot of jelly"-mind you she has plenty but that's neither here nor there. I said under my breathe they don't like it super sloppy either. Mean-yes I know but she didn't even hear me, and I have never tried to make her or anyone feel bad for not being what they want to be. I'm always there to answer their questions about fitness but I don't judge them cause they are not in shape. Then I was told by another cousin my vein was popping out, I shouldn't work out no more. Only one cousin who recently started working out was nice, but it was hard for me to trust what she was saying cause those other people had already made me feel weird. I mean I love working out and I love the changes in my body. My butt is lifted and I still have a lot of jiggle. My arms have always been kind of muscly and they couldn't see my abs but can put them away when I'm ready, lol.. I'm not always flexing or wearing a 2 piece! Sometimes I just wanna quit everything so I wont have to worry about being judged but other times like when I'm dying to be active I think who cares what they think. I wish I could have a positive attitude all the time but I'm human. I did recently slow down on my working out because I was scared my hubby wouldn't want me to get all big and I don't wanna get all big. I don't feel big but I know I'm not like I used to be.
How do you deal with situations like this?
So today was my sis in laws baby shower and it was great, I actually helped host it which did make me a bit nervous but I pretended that it didn't(I'm a quiet person). Any-who some of my hubby's family had some looks and comments about me... One made me frustrated, his cousin says oh "you work out", and I was like yeah. The she says "well you don't wanna get buns of steel men don't like that, trust me he'll leave. Men like alot of jelly"-mind you she has plenty but that's neither here nor there. I said under my breathe they don't like it super sloppy either. Mean-yes I know but she didn't even hear me, and I have never tried to make her or anyone feel bad for not being what they want to be. I'm always there to answer their questions about fitness but I don't judge them cause they are not in shape. Then I was told by another cousin my vein was popping out, I shouldn't work out no more. Only one cousin who recently started working out was nice, but it was hard for me to trust what she was saying cause those other people had already made me feel weird. I mean I love working out and I love the changes in my body. My butt is lifted and I still have a lot of jiggle. My arms have always been kind of muscly and they couldn't see my abs but can put them away when I'm ready, lol.. I'm not always flexing or wearing a 2 piece! Sometimes I just wanna quit everything so I wont have to worry about being judged but other times like when I'm dying to be active I think who cares what they think. I wish I could have a positive attitude all the time but I'm human. I did recently slow down on my working out because I was scared my hubby wouldn't want me to get all big and I don't wanna get all big. I don't feel big but I know I'm not like I used to be.
How do you deal with situations like this?
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Replies
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Women don't get big. We don't have the chemistry. If you're worried about how your husband will feel about the new you, ride him for a few hours. He won't care if you're more toned.0
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They sound jealous. Don't let them tear you down, you look fantastic!0
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You think so Mjrkearney! I should try that, I wonder what exercises will make me be able to go that long, lmao!0
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Thanks AlongCame_Mol! Im really trying hard but lately it seems like it coming at me from all angles. Do people ever make you feel like that?0
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I would simply say, "I'm not working out to get muscles, I'm working out to be healthy and happy." and leave it at that.0
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I like to say, "I'm sorry I'm not working out so that your prejudices will be attracted to me."0
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Girl you look good, they are just super intimidated. I think if this is really becoming a concern the only person you should address is your husband. Honestly you do not have to answer all fitness questions. I'm not advanced or anything but when people want to know my workout (since I lost a significant amount of weight) I just say " I do not disclose my workout."0
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Haters.... what ever... Do You0
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I'm sorry, but that was just straight up jealousy. I would have flat out laughed (or at the very least smirked) at anyone who said such a ridiculous thing to me. (No one ever has, though, probably because I have a confident vibe.) I wouldn't even feel bad laughing in their face. Anyone who comes with such stupid crap as that probably needs a good mocking. It's absurd, so don't even worry about it. :flowerforyou:
P.S. It was more an insult to your husband than it was to you, in my opinion. Bullies are always sniffing around for sensitive people. She sensed weakness and she went for it. Work on toughening up your mind as well as your body. :drinker:0 -
Girl you look good, they are just super intimidated. I think if this is really becoming a concern the only person you should address is your husband. Honestly you do not have to answer all fitness questions.
I'm not advanced or anything but when people want to know my workout (since I lost a significant amount of weight) I just say " I do not disclose my workout."
You do and they don't give you attitude?0 -
Don't slow down unless you're burned out, and I know you're not. Your man knows you're hot. He ain't going NO where. People prob see you and know they'd never be able to achieve what you have because they're lazy. Shame on them for trying to make you feel how they feel: miserable. I'm getting hints of vascularity... hints! And if they pop out I will jump for joy! Keep kickin' *kitten*, keep the abs, veins, arms, butt! It's all good!0
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You look great. Flat out don't listen to them.
People are always going to say stuff.. people are always going to have opinions. But you have no reason to let those opinions affect the way you think.0 -
@Jenilaa
P.S. It was more an insult to your husband than it was to you, in my opinion. Bullies are always sniffing around for sensitive people. She sensed weakness and she went for it. Work on toughening up your mind as well as your body. :drinker:
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You are right on the money!!! That's exaclty how I felt the whole time like they were looking at me and then looking at himn and thinking dude your wifes too skinny and has muscles not good...
uhhh so irritating, i gotta find my confidence because this in a few weeks there gonna be a family reunion with the same in laws and I better be ready!0 -
Don't slow down unless you're burned out, and I know you're not. Your man knows you're hot. He ain't going NO where. People prob see you and know they'd never be able to achieve what you have because they're lazy. Shame on them for trying to make you feel how they feel: miserable. I'm getting hints of vascularity... hints! And if they pop out I will jump for joy! Keep kickin' *kitten*, keep the abs, veins, arms, butt! It's all good!
Thanks Mayra! I hear you and nope im not burned out, lol...its so hard explaining that I can't sit still for too long, lmao!! Im going to have to get tougher so I can deal with these types of situations better.0 -
Haters.... what ever... Do You
You soo right!! F' em, they all suck anyway!! :drinker:0 -
I would simply say, "I'm not working out to get muscles, I'm working out to be healthy and happy." and leave it at that.0
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Just nod your head and smile0
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Sounds like jealousy to me.0
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Oh girl, don't give another thought to what those people think about you! They obviously are not worth your time much less your thoughts! Why do you work out? You love it, and you love how you feel and look. That's all you need!
People can be mean sometimes, I know all about it. It's not easy to not care what anyone else thinks, but when someone talks to you like the way they talked to you, they are not interested in your well being. They are trying to make themselves feel better at your expense.
You are incredible. Own it.
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I come to find out that when others have not been through your struggles and hard work they are quick to make selfish, rude and unnecessary comments as if they know best. Sometimes they are just plain jealous.
You have to remember why (the love) you are doing what you are doing. That self reward reached at the end of every goal. I call it the light.
In college I had family members tell me i'm studying to hard or telling me I have to much on my plate. I knew why I was doing what I was doing and in the end, I came out with my degrees and career waiting on me.
In fitness, co workers tell me "you look great, no need for you to doing anything else", but they don't know my struggle or goals so I keep pressing forward. My fitness, is a life style change and I know the confidence and joy it brings. As long as your hubby and kids support you and you love the joy it brings, keep pushing forward.0 -
It's all jealousy. Some people don't have the will to do what your doing and they'll do anything to bring you down so you don't look better then they do. It's sad but true. It's the type of world we live in. Congrats on what you have done so far and keep it up!0
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I'd bet anything that those nasty comments came out of a mixture of insecurity and jealousy. You look fantastic and if anybody is turned off by a fit and healthy body, then that's their own issue, not yours. You've worked hard for your awesome physique -- so flaunt it and be proud of yourself!0
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It's been my experience that when people, unprovoked, say things that are cruel or insensitive, they are speaking volumes about themselves and their character and less about who they are putting down. It could be jealousy or they could just be the type of people who want to make themselves feel superior to everyone around them. I rarely have people say things like that to me because I will put someone in their place in a heartbeat and everyone I know is well aware of that. If you started standing up for yourself when they chose to make such remarks I bet you would find them no longer making those remarks.0
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Sounds like someone spiked the punch with a gallon of "Haterade!"
Whateva....as long as ur happy and healthy and hubby aint complaining....ur straight girl!
Send me their address, I'll egg their house! Hehe!!
Do you boo! They secretly takin notes, trust!
Shan, atlanta0 -
They are propbably insecure and jealousy. On some psychological level, they recognize that you are standing up for yourself and they feel left behind or bested. They also probable recognize what you're doing is what they SHOULD be doing but has been putting off because of some lacking characteristic, and they are frustrated and scared because of that. You are everything they want to be.
Ignore the negativity and keep doing what is best for you! It's hard, but it the only way!0 -
I come to find out that when others have not been through your struggles and hard work they are quick to make selfish, rude and unnecessary comments as if they know best. Sometimes they are just plain jealous.
You have to remember why (the love) you are doing what you are doing. That self reward reached at the end of every goal. I call it the light.
In college I had family members tell me i'm studying to hard or telling me I have to much on my plate. I knew why I was doing what I was doing and in the end, I came out with my degrees and career waiting on me.
In fitness, co workers tell me "you look great, no need for you to doing anything else", but they don't know my struggle or goals so I keep pressing forward. My fitness, is a life style change and I know the confidence and joy it brings. As long as your hubby and kids support you and you love the joy it brings, keep pushing forward.
Thanks Coach! I cant believe they told you that you were studying too much!:noway: That's silly..but yeah you are right they have no clue the struggles. I have fixed alot of little pains in me because of this lifestyle change. I AM going to keep pressing forward.0 -
Yep, they are JEALOUS!! Probly caught their husband or significant other lookin at ya :-) Don't let them tear you down like that. If your husband ain't complaining don't worry bout what anyone else says. You look FABULOUS!! And I bet they all can't fit on one side of a picnic bench either LOL. Keep your head up, stay strong, and enjoy yourself. You are a role model for all of us trying to be healthier and happier.0
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They are propbably insecure and jealousy. On some psychological level, they recognize that you are standing up for yourself and they feel left behind or bested. They also probable recognize what you're doing is what they SHOULD be doing but has been putting off because of some lacking characteristic, and they are frustrated and scared because of that. You are everything they want to be.
Ignore the negativity and keep doing what is best for you! It's hard, but it the only way!
I mean that girl was soo serious when she said my buns were made of steel and she involved the lady in front of us by saying see now her buns are good.0 -
Yep, they are JEALOUS!! Probly caught their husband or significant other lookin at ya :-) Don't let them tear you down like that. If your husband ain't complaining don't worry bout what anyone else says. You look FABULOUS!! And I bet they all can't fit on one side of a picnic bench either LOL. Keep your head up, stay strong, and enjoy yourself. You are a role model for all of us trying to be healthier and happier.
BAHAHAHa!!! :laugh:0 -
Sounds like someone spiked the punch with a gallon of "Haterade!"
Whateva....as long as ur happy and healthy and hubby aint complaining....ur straight girl!
Send me their address, I'll egg their house! Hehe!!
Do you boo! They secretly takin notes, trust!
Shan, atlanta
and everone had a cup of it too!!! LMAO!0
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