still feeling bad....

Kkangel21
Kkangel21 Posts: 46 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
Only this time it's because I know I haven't done well, but it doesn't help that my fiancé is taking a picture of my stomach, while I am sitting here, bc he apparently doesn't think I know I am fat.

I am trying, it's hard, and I don't need him making me feel worse. I haven't done as well as I would have hoped, but for him to stoop that low hurts. really really hurts.

Replies

  • PepperWorm
    PepperWorm Posts: 1,206
    I'm confused. He took a picture of you and you think it's because he's trying to document how large you are?

    I think you're projecting.
  • MB_Positif
    MB_Positif Posts: 8,897 Member
    Is he being a jerk or just trying to be funny? Either way it sucks, but is he really trying to make you feel badly? He asked you to marry him right?
  • Rilzy
    Rilzy Posts: 59 Member
    Did he tell you that he was taking a photo of you so that you could see how fat you are?
  • bakingforlife
    bakingforlife Posts: 132 Member
    Heres one for you ,he told me to suck my gut in .why ?......sounds silly but have no idea why he would come sit down by me and then say that!!!!
  • PepperWorm
    PepperWorm Posts: 1,206
    Soooo why are you choosing to marry him again?

    If he's being verbally abusive toward you about your weight, methinks it's time to drop him.
  • kherrons
    kherrons Posts: 99 Member
    Soooo why are you choosing to marry him again?

    If he's being verbally abusive toward you about your weight, methinks it's time to drop him.

    ^^ this. Never settle just because you don't thinks you'll ever do better. I would have smacked that ***hole in the throat.
  • greatwestescape
    greatwestescape Posts: 49
    You need to tell him outright that it really hurts your self esteem when he does things like that. Confront him and stand your ground. Sometimes people don't realize they are being jerks because to them, something like weight has never been an issue or concern. If he cares about you, he will apologize and make you feel better. If you brood about it, and talk about it to everyone else except him, you can't expect anything to change!
  • Rilzy
    Rilzy Posts: 59 Member
    Soooo why are you choosing to marry him again?

    If he's being verbally abusive toward you about your weight, methinks it's time to drop him.

    ^^ this. Never settle just because you don't thinks you'll ever do better. I would have smacked that ***hole in the throat.

    This is why I asked the OP to tell us if he specifically said he was doing this. There's also the chance that she is projecting.
  • greatwestescape
    greatwestescape Posts: 49
    +1

    This is why I asked the OP to tell us if he specifically said he was doing this. There's also the chance that she is projecting.
  • splutschak
    splutschak Posts: 17
    you need a man who will love you no matter what!!! through thick and thin! you deserve SO much better!
  • PepperWorm
    PepperWorm Posts: 1,206
    Redacted!

    I need to learn how to read names.
  • kherrons
    kherrons Posts: 99 Member
    My response was to the sucking in the gut part. To me that doesn't sound acceptable for any reason. I completely believe some women have a lot of things going on that are "only in their heads."
  • kherrons
    kherrons Posts: 99 Member

    She just described how he tells her to suck in her gut. Thus why I waited to say anything drastic. :flowerforyou:

    +1
  • PepperWorm
    PepperWorm Posts: 1,206
    Herrons, we got the wrong chick!

    :laugh:
  • kherrons
    kherrons Posts: 99 Member
    Herrons, we got the wrong chick!

    :laugh:

    I take back all I said and now I'm going to get my *** off these boards cause clearly I can't read and have a bad case of foot in mouth :laugh: but for the girl who said the gut thing, seriously, smack him in the throat
  • Kkangel21
    Kkangel21 Posts: 46 Member
    he took the pic bc he thought i was gaining again. He wanted to help me see for myself i was looking large again. So frustrated. But it apparently wasn't malcious.
  • nomeejerome
    nomeejerome Posts: 2,616 Member
    :huh:
  • HerpDerp745
    HerpDerp745 Posts: 223 Member
    It sounds like he's really worried about you. How much have you let yourself go?
  • adorable_aly
    adorable_aly Posts: 398 Member
    Men sometimes have weird ways of showing that they are concerned. Sometimes they are not the most sensitive, but most of the time well intentioned. Maybe that's what is happening here?

    And well some of them are just idiots.
  • Kkangel21
    Kkangel21 Posts: 46 Member
    we have been together 13 yrs, i have had 3 kids with him. I went from 125 when we met / 22
    to 60 lbs heavier.

    It is his way of being concerned i guess.
  • Kkangel21
    Kkangel21 Posts: 46 Member
    we have been together 13 yrs, i have had 3 kids with him. I went from 125 when we met / 22
    to 60 lbs heavier.

    It is his way of being concerned i guess.
  • 4everlearning
    4everlearning Posts: 4 Member
    Well, no two relationships are the same, and every couple has different ways they relate to each other. So if you asked him to help you out with this, and this is his odd way of helping, I guess I would just try to talk to him about what types of things might be more helpful.

    Now - when I have been in relationships and trying to lose weight at the same time I am always like "this is a me thing, but out of it." And if my partner felt the need to have some kind of tummy-picture-taking-intervention - I would not respond well!
  • jwdieter
    jwdieter Posts: 2,582 Member
    Would love to hear his side of this story.
  • Mishinmite
    Mishinmite Posts: 43 Member
    I had three children with my ex husband. I gained weight. He was a jerk and treated me horribly. I divorced his sorry behind and raised my kids alone for six years, during which time I gained even more weight. Then I reconnected with a guy I dated in high school on Facebook. I was terrified to meet him because of the way my ex treated me and I felt so ugly and unlovable. I finally worked up the courage to do a face to face and six months later, we're engaged. He tells me I'm beautiful everyday. Why are you sitting there letting Mr. Wrong hurt your feelings, when Mr. Right is out there wondering where you are? Trust me, honey, life is too short for this. If you're not happy, you'll have a heck of a time meeting your goals. I wish you all the luck in the world and am sending you a huge hug. :)
  • navyrigger46
    navyrigger46 Posts: 1,301 Member
    Men sometimes have weird ways of showing that they are concerned. Sometimes they are not the most sensitive, but most of the time well intentioned. Maybe that's what is happening here?

    And well some of them are just idiots.

    True statement, and another one after that too. Men like myself don't always consider women's feelings before we act, it's not intentional, we just don't think about it because our feelings rarely come in to play. On the other hand, he could also be an idiot. At 30 years old I wouldn't do such a thing to my wife, but in my younger days, I may have been that stupid, you'd have to ask her.

    Rigger
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    we have been together 13 yrs, i have had 3 kids with him. I went from 125 when we met / 22
    to 60 lbs heavier.

    It is his way of being concerned i guess.

    I have told my husband to tell me if I ever got so fat I was unattractive to him

    If your boyfriend knows you were supposedly trying to lose weight, maybe it's his misguided attempt at motivation?
  • lark99007
    lark99007 Posts: 4
    Been married 27 years to a guy that acted the same way. Take my advice. Tell him how he makes you feel and tell him you will not tolerate it anymore. Be prepared to fight. Guys who display that kind of selfish behavior can't stand to be called on the mat. But until you do, you'll never be happy together. And don't promise yourself smooth sailing. Relationships are hard. Period. But you have to stand up for yourself. If he does it to you, he'll do it to your kids.

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