Double Standard?

adamgottlob
adamgottlob Posts: 36 Member
in Chit-Chat
It always annoys me when I hear someone say to a guy "Wow, how did *you* get her?" It seems to be some sort of backhanded compliment...but is essentially insulting to both people by saying one is "better" than the other. But I've never heard someone say anything like that to a girl. Or maybe girls say that to each other when I'm not around?
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Replies

  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
    I totally loathe the type of small minded shallow people who say things like that.


    That said, some men/women even say that about themselves.

    "I don't know how I got him/her" "he/she is too good for me" "I outkicked my coverage"

    I hate all of it. All of it.
  • SirBonerFart
    SirBonerFart Posts: 1,185 Member
    I think you both are over sensitive
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    I think you both are over sensitive

    I agree.
    By saying, "how did *you* get her?" he is basically saying "your girl is awesome, wish I could get a girl like her". Sure that sounds better, but men are lazy and that's far too many words.
  • iplayoutside19
    iplayoutside19 Posts: 2,304 Member
    All men I've talked to that have been married for any amount of time know they're out kicking their coverage.
  • TK266
    TK266 Posts: 3,638 Member
    I just lick my eyebrow when anyone asks me that question.
  • BeachIron
    BeachIron Posts: 6,490 Member
    I think you both are over sensitive

    I agree.
    By saying, "how did *you* get her?" he is basically saying "your girl is awesome, wish I could get a girl like her". Sure that sounds better, but men are lazy and that's far too many words.

    Yep. It's one of the ways guys give each other compliments. We insult each other while complimenting each others' wives.
  • funforsports
    funforsports Posts: 2,656 Member
    Its a compliment. It means you must have done something right to get such a great girl.

    Now take it like a compliment.
  • JustAboutDelicious_wechanged
    JustAboutDelicious_wechanged Posts: 2,486 Member
    I just lick my eyebrow when anyone asks me that question.
    And I just put my legs behind my head....

    What a pair.
  • FutureHarley
    FutureHarley Posts: 54
    I don't agree with others saying it to people if they don't mean it as a complement but if someone says it about themselves it shouldn't upset you, it's just they are amazed at who they have.
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
    I think you both are over sensitive

    I agree.
    By saying, "how did *you* get her?" he is basically saying "your girl is awesome, wish I could get a girl like her". Sure that sounds better, but men are lazy and that's far too many words.

    You. You are smart.
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
    I think you both are over sensitive
    I already knew this!
  • TK266
    TK266 Posts: 3,638 Member
    I just lick my eyebrow when anyone asks me that question.
    And I just put my legs behind my head....

    What a pair.

    :love:
  • Randyamc
    Randyamc Posts: 365 Member
    I just lick my eyebrow when anyone asks me that question.
    And I just put my legs behind my head....

    What a pair.

    OMG, thanks for the laugh this morning!! haha
  • onedayatatime12
    onedayatatime12 Posts: 577 Member
    I think you both are over sensitive

    I agree.
    By saying, "how did *you* get her?" he is basically saying "your girl is awesome, wish I could get a girl like her". Sure that sounds better, but men are lazy and that's far too many words.

    You. You are smart.

    Haha agreed.
  • lithezebra
    lithezebra Posts: 3,670 Member
    It's a compliment. It doesn't really mean that you aren't as good as your partner. It means that, because your partner is awesome, you too are awesome. It's one reason that I like to make my husband look good, even in the rare instances that I'm annoyed with him in public, because when he looks good, I look good.
  • boredlimodriver
    boredlimodriver Posts: 264 Member
    I just lick my eyebrow when anyone asks me that question.
    And I just put my legs behind my head....

    What a pair.

    what?
  • stefjc
    stefjc Posts: 484 Member
    Well, there is a branch of psychology that looks at this and there seem to be 2 rules of thumb:

    1) people tend to gravitate to someone who is of a similar level of attractiveness
    2) people tend to gravitate to someone who is quite different in levels of attractiveness

    Based on loads of studies over about 40 years that suggest 'attractiveness' is pretty universally judged, regardless of race, ethnicity, age, gender, etc.

    The difference between people who choose 1 or 2 is a more a matter of how we anticipate the other person will provide for offspring - financially and genetically.

    It is a lovely topic to teach at college, students get all riled up/protective of their viewpoint - which is what drives us to pick our partners in the first place :)
  • dirty_dirty_eater
    dirty_dirty_eater Posts: 574 Member
    I think you both are over sensitive

    It would be a violation of the guy code to say "Wow, your wife is beautiful, and no wonder, since you're all hot and stuff too."

    Much better to say "Hey, how's your hot wife and my kids?"
  • tehboxingkitteh
    tehboxingkitteh Posts: 1,574 Member
    I've been asked that before :flowerforyou:

    And then I show them my, um, skills, and it all makes sense.
  • mestacy010
    mestacy010 Posts: 577 Member
    I did have one of my ex bf's buddies.... Say " dude that's your gf? No way, she's too good for you"
  • temu22
    temu22 Posts: 3
    I think it is a put down... totally. But then again, some people are morons... be happy you are in a relationship you enjoy... and forget the people who are lame.
  • LarryDUk
    LarryDUk Posts: 279 Member
    I think you both are over sensitive

    X 1000 I take it as a compliment that they think my other half is hot!
  • adamgottlob
    adamgottlob Posts: 36 Member
    It's a very superficial comment. Several times I heard this they were referring to my girlfriend's appearance, while inside I was wincing. There was so much I was having issues with in the relationship, that I was moments away from leaving this girl who was supposedly "better" than I.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,972 Member
    When I'm asked my answer is "I dunno. Probably has something to do with cooking".:laugh:
    Wait why am I laughing? It's probably true.:laugh: :laugh:

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • mooookie
    mooookie Posts: 22
    I think its because guys including me always insult other guys. Its what we do.
  • schakiiiii
    schakiiiii Posts: 39 Member
    It goes both ways really! My husband brushes it off and jokes back and says " you mean how did she end up with me" and that is the end of that!! A joke with a joke and you walk away with the hottie anyways .. They can hate on you all they want. =]
  • schakiiiii
    schakiiiii Posts: 39 Member
    I think its because guys including me always insult other guys. Its what we do.

    I also agree with this. Omgsh its constant lol...Its entertaining tho.
  • JustAboutDelicious_wechanged
    JustAboutDelicious_wechanged Posts: 2,486 Member
    It's a very superficial comment. Several times I heard this they were referring to my girlfriend's appearance, while inside I was wincing. There was so much I was having issues with in the relationship, that I was moments away from leaving this girl who was supposedly "better" than I.
    In all seriousness, don't let comments like that make you make a decision to leave someone because of what someone else thinks. That makes you just as superficial as the person making the comment if that would be your breaking point to leave. She can't help how she looks.

    If there are other issues leading to possibly leaving that is different, but her appearance being "too good" based on someone else's opinion shouldn't be the only reason. It is an insensitive comment, but guys aren't the most sensitive creatures sometimes...I think it is truly meant to be a compliment to you. Just let it roll off your back.
  • KY2022runner
    KY2022runner Posts: 72 Member
    It's just a dude being a dude. I would be more weirded-out if my friend said to me…

    "Wow, you both certainly are an excellent pair, both of you so attractive, especially you dude."

    Not words i ever want to hear. I think you might be a tad bit over-sensitive.
  • ken_hogan
    ken_hogan Posts: 854 Member
    I think you both are over sensitive

    I agree.
    By saying, "how did *you* get her?" he is basically saying "your girl is awesome, wish I could get a girl like her". Sure that sounds better, but men are lazy and that's far too many words.

    This

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