Dealing with "Helpful" Family/Friends

I think you should make the decision that makes you happy and tell the people who are trying to discourage you to stick it.

I think you should make the decision that makes you happy and tell the people who are trying to discourage you to stick it.

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Personally, I think that might be too thin for your height and age, however, that's just my personal view. I don't think your goal is by any stretch of the imagination unreasonable.

Be confident that you know your own body and you're doing what is best for you, what other people think and feel, given a perfectly reasonable goal, is unimportant. In the end, your body is going to tell you what weight is where it's comfortable, by how hard it will be for you to maintain.

I wonder if sometimes they get use to seeing us heavier so when we lose they aren't use to seeing us like that so they think that we are smaller than we are?? No one knows your body better than you so go for it!

They might be trying to be encouraging and helpful, but obviously, trying to tell YOU what to do isn't either one. You have to set the goals that "fit" you. And your goal weight seems about right for your height....there is a reason there is a suggested healthy RANGE and not just one number. I"m 5'10 and my healthy range is supposed to be like 135-175ish.....I was about 155 many many years ago and felt great!

As far as responding to "helpful" family/friends, I tend to use joking and sarcasm a lot to deal. It's my style....when I would get comments like that, maybe say "Well, my true goal is get on the cover of the tabloids so I have to look a whole lot sicker than I do now!" Or "Oh, I"m not dieting, I just started snorting a lot of cocaine...weight just drops off!" Etc. Or, "well, I've become suspicious that I wasn't born with the right number of ribs so I need to get totally emaciated so I can properly count them."

Or you could just apply the smile and nod method.

Personally, I think that might be too thin for your height and age

What does age have to do with anything??? I'm 40. Am I supposed to add 10 pounds over the next 10 years just to be "age-appropriate" for a 50 year old? Then, how much do I have to gain when I turn 60???

A healthy weight has nothing to do with age.

Start lifting. Then when they say "you will get too bulky!" you can say "but you said I was too skinny!" :laugh:

(PS: the joke is on people's reactions to women lifting, not on lifting. Feel like I have to clarify that here, heh.)

I think you should do what you feel is right for you. One important thing here, is that you not let the comments get to you. You might say to them that you appreciate their concern, but you are about healthy eating and if that means losing more weight, that is what you will do. You may need a thick skin to ignore their comments completely, but do it. The only person who will know when you have reached your limit is you. Just eat healthy foods and smaller portions. Good luck on your journey and congratulations on your weight loss up to now.

This reminds me of my grandmother. She's the first in line to point out how fat I've gotten, and then when I get my weight down I'm too skinny and should stop trying to lose. I've decided it's all about control. People who rudely comment on your body -- larger or smaller as may be -- have their own issues a lot of the time. If they can control your perceptions of your own size, they feel better somehow. Never you mind them. You keep on rocking.

Now that I've lost 50 pounds, I have family members telling me to stop losing weight. They tell me I look fine now. "Don't lose anymore, you're too thin." "Don't lose anymore, your wrinkles make you look old." Don't lose anymore, you'll look like you're sick." These types of comments have really zapped my motivation. I know they mean well, but I'm far from being skinny. I'm 5'8" and currently 174 lbs. I'm aiming for between 150 and 160, which I think is a reasonable for my height and age (49). What do you think?

Sounds like a reasonable healthy goal. But you are unlikely to change your family.

I'm getting some of the same comments from my family. I think it's because I'm smaller than I ever have been, including high school, but I still feel like I have 15-20 pounds to lose. My response is, "I'm eating healthy and plentifully and exercising moderately and I believe my body will stop where it's supposed to." So far no one has had a comeback for that so it seems to be working.

I agree with this. Your body will stop where it's supposed and I don't think your goals are unreasonable. Listen to your body. If you're eating a healthy diet and exercising a healthy amount and continue to lose weight, then your body is not yet where it's supposed to be. Keep up the amazing work. 50 pounds is no small feat! Ignore those people who mean well but are subconsciously sabotaging you.

They are just jealous... rock on with your weight loss!!

This! And tell them you discussed with your physician who is in agreement with your goals.

"well, I've become suspicious that I wasn't born with the right number of ribs so I need to get totally emaciated so I can properly count them."

ROFLMAO!

I've had people tell me the same although I'm now in the goal weight zone for my height (5' even). Usually the people who tell me this are overweight themselves so I just shrug it off. I'm not trying to lose, just be healthy and not gain it all back.