still feeling bad....

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  • Kkangel21
    Kkangel21 Posts: 46 Member
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    we have been together 13 yrs, i have had 3 kids with him. I went from 125 when we met / 22
    to 60 lbs heavier.

    It is his way of being concerned i guess.
  • 4everlearning
    4everlearning Posts: 4 Member
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    Well, no two relationships are the same, and every couple has different ways they relate to each other. So if you asked him to help you out with this, and this is his odd way of helping, I guess I would just try to talk to him about what types of things might be more helpful.

    Now - when I have been in relationships and trying to lose weight at the same time I am always like "this is a me thing, but out of it." And if my partner felt the need to have some kind of tummy-picture-taking-intervention - I would not respond well!
  • jwdieter
    jwdieter Posts: 2,582 Member
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    Would love to hear his side of this story.
  • Mishinmite
    Mishinmite Posts: 43 Member
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    I had three children with my ex husband. I gained weight. He was a jerk and treated me horribly. I divorced his sorry behind and raised my kids alone for six years, during which time I gained even more weight. Then I reconnected with a guy I dated in high school on Facebook. I was terrified to meet him because of the way my ex treated me and I felt so ugly and unlovable. I finally worked up the courage to do a face to face and six months later, we're engaged. He tells me I'm beautiful everyday. Why are you sitting there letting Mr. Wrong hurt your feelings, when Mr. Right is out there wondering where you are? Trust me, honey, life is too short for this. If you're not happy, you'll have a heck of a time meeting your goals. I wish you all the luck in the world and am sending you a huge hug. :)
  • navyrigger46
    navyrigger46 Posts: 1,301 Member
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    Men sometimes have weird ways of showing that they are concerned. Sometimes they are not the most sensitive, but most of the time well intentioned. Maybe that's what is happening here?

    And well some of them are just idiots.

    True statement, and another one after that too. Men like myself don't always consider women's feelings before we act, it's not intentional, we just don't think about it because our feelings rarely come in to play. On the other hand, he could also be an idiot. At 30 years old I wouldn't do such a thing to my wife, but in my younger days, I may have been that stupid, you'd have to ask her.

    Rigger
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    we have been together 13 yrs, i have had 3 kids with him. I went from 125 when we met / 22
    to 60 lbs heavier.

    It is his way of being concerned i guess.

    I have told my husband to tell me if I ever got so fat I was unattractive to him

    If your boyfriend knows you were supposedly trying to lose weight, maybe it's his misguided attempt at motivation?
  • lark99007
    lark99007 Posts: 4
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    Been married 27 years to a guy that acted the same way. Take my advice. Tell him how he makes you feel and tell him you will not tolerate it anymore. Be prepared to fight. Guys who display that kind of selfish behavior can't stand to be called on the mat. But until you do, you'll never be happy together. And don't promise yourself smooth sailing. Relationships are hard. Period. But you have to stand up for yourself. If he does it to you, he'll do it to your kids.

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