Obese but still see yourself thin?

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Replies

  • lynnerack
    lynnerack Posts: 158 Member
    My daughter had anorexia in her twenties and now thankfully has recovered although still very slim. She looks in the mirror and sees a fat person - body dysmorphia I think is what they call it. Me, on the other hand, has reverse body dysmorphia. I really didn't see the fatter person that I'd become, not until I saw photos of myself.

    I am now enjoying seeing the return of my collar bones when I look in the mirror and also fitting into UK size 14 jeans for the first time in at least 16 years!
  • nwg74
    nwg74 Posts: 360 Member
    I was 373 pounds and I didn't look like it. It was a massive shock when I went on the scales for the first time in years. I basically put weight on slowly over 27 years from my early teens or so so I didn't notice. There was big signs all the time but I didn't see them.

    Even after losing 200 pounds, I still see myself big purely because I still have a stomach. It is slowly getting smaller but is taking a long time. It doesn't help that I have lost no weight in 4 months. I don't think I will be totally happy unless that goes. Excess skin doesn't help.
  • chelseascounter
    chelseascounter Posts: 1,283 Member
    I've always been skinny all my life then gained 20+ lbs. I still saw my skinny self in the mirror. When I took pictures I saw my heavier self but even then I was still a little in denial. That's how I kept on gaining weight: denial. Then one day I tried on a pair of shorts that were once too big/loose on me and now I couldn't even zip them up and was spilling out them! That was a wakeup call.
  • Sooze_1975
    Sooze_1975 Posts: 89 Member
    I have a very similar issue. I see myself as much more physically fit then my reflection shows. I've been going to the gym for about a year now. When I started, I literally couldn't do 5 minutes on the elliptical. Now, I can do 60 min no problem on level 19. Plus, I'm now deadlifting 165 lbs! Super proud of myself for the improvements in physical fitness, however, when I see myself in a picture or in the mirror, what I'm seeing doesn't match the level of physical fitness I feel like I have achieved. I feel like my body doesn't match how good I feel on the inside. I'm working on that tho and know that I'll get there there :-)
  • angash1966
    angash1966 Posts: 19 Member
    well i have been using fitnesspal since the end of may. i have lost 17lbs. so far. my exercise plan that i do everyday is the wii fit for thirty minutes and then a brisk thirty minute walk.i also drink 48 ounces of a detox water that consist of half a cucumber and a whole lemon sliced with mint leaves and put in the refrigerature in the morning before i begin my exercise then i drink it during the day.
  • Cheeky_0102
    Cheeky_0102 Posts: 408 Member
    the last time i was 160 lbs, i was brimming with confidence, this time i don't see myself as at my goal at all! I'm thinking of a tummy tuck and when i look at what wouldn't be fixed i think i need to get rid of more fat first!
    I don't have any naked pictures of myself from back then, so i have no idea whether my body image back then was distorted, or if it's distorted now.
  • Patriots96
    Patriots96 Posts: 96 Member
    I have lost about 25 so far (15 prior to joining mfp) and I have trouble seeing myself as smaller. I still look at plus size clothes and then remember that is not my size anymore. I have fought the weight battle my whole life, even became an anorexic in high school and even then did not see myself as thin. I was teased as a kid for being fat and I have not forgotten that. It is hard to see yourself as thin when most of your life you have not been thin. It is a mental challenge. As it took time to learn that behavior, it will take time to change it. But it all starts with a step in the right direction. I forgot who said it, but it is true that a journey of 1000 miles begins with a single step. Hang in there! And feel free to add me as a friend! :flowerforyou:
  • VincitQuiSeVincit
    VincitQuiSeVincit Posts: 285 Member
    Me! When I first started I didn't see myself as big as I was, until I saw a certain picture and didn't even recognize myself. Now that I have lost a lot of weight, I look at myself and see myself as a lot bigger than I am. Current pictures of me, don't match what I see in the mirror. It's a constant struggle. I guess my mind will catch up eventually.

    THIS.
    When I was HUGE (250 lb at 5'3") I didnt see it... I knew I was in plus sizes, but I didnt "get it"... When I got down to regular sizes, I thought I was a skinny minnie. Now that Ive maintained a size 12-14 for a few years (hovering around 200 lbs), I am starting to see the truth of the matter, and that's that it's still far too much for my frame. I NEED to see awful candid pics in order for it to click, otherwise I think I'm "fine"
  • mkcongrove1
    mkcongrove1 Posts: 81 Member
    Wow, I never realized there would be so many others like me! And I honestly think the best part is that there are so many of you who commented saying you've lost 50+lbs. It's inspiring! My old MFP picture use to be my before (when I was thin) and my after (now) and it wasn't until I put those pictures side by side that I realized I am NOT that skinny girl.
    68624_10151457459783348_1687878414_n.jpg
  • C12254
    C12254 Posts: 198
    I dont see myself as "skinny" but surely not as fat as i actually am. guess thats why i always avoid mirrors or any such thing that will show my reflection.
  • neskapolita1978
    neskapolita1978 Posts: 33 Member
    Oh definitely. Mirrors always surprise me unfavorably. I was 106 pounds at age 18. At 25, I had doubled it.
    I don't even remember getting fat. And I certainly don't feel it unless put into a situation in which I have to accept my spatial reality.
  • stealthq
    stealthq Posts: 4,298 Member
    Yeah, I did this, too. I was never technically overweight, but I was about 20 lbs over what I was seeing, mentally, and at 30+% body fat. I didn't realize how much I'd slipped until I was with a pound of being clinically overweight and had a staff picture taken at work. Oy.

    Now I'm having a bit of the reverse problem, probably because my belly doesn't want to give up any fat. But, I will prevail!
  • firefightingwoman2455
    firefightingwoman2455 Posts: 23
    Oh yeah, I still feel like the skinny me. Not the skinniest (?) me because I saw a pic of myself at about 120 lbs and didn't recognize myself. I still feel like I am about 130-140 and it breaks my heart when I try on clothes or look in the mirror because I want to dress the old me, not the me-me. I hit 20 pounds lost today and I personally don't see much of a difference but others do. The mind is a hard thing to adjust...
  • laurajaneneal67
    laurajaneneal67 Posts: 4
    I know what you mean! I see myself the way I feel, and that is how I used to look I guess. I have cried over pictures periodically, but only recently decided to do something about it. I had a breakdown in My Doctors office. He wanted me to do Medi-fast, but I know how to eat healthy. Depression after My Moms death has been hard on me, and food temporarily feels good. I am looking forward to this journey, with open eyes and realistic expectations. Thanks for your post!
  • sunlover89
    sunlover89 Posts: 436 Member
    YES YES YES YES YES!!! When I look in the mirror I look normal, good even, although I'm 190lbs! But when i see photos, that's when i see what i actually look like. It's so incredibly confusing.

    I also didn't notice I had gained weight until I found out I had actually gained 60lbs. Stretchy clothes :-/
  • ethompso0105
    ethompso0105 Posts: 418 Member
    My sister is obese. At my worst, I've been mildly overweight. I remember the day when she looked at me with tears in her eyes and said, 'I don't know what you see when you look in the mirror, but when I look in the mirror...I see you.'

    Now, we don't look alike. She's brunette, I have ashe "blonde" hair. She's shorter than I am. We don't look like sisters until you stand by us having a conversation...our mannerisms and way we speak are very similar.

    She was refering to the fact that she does not see an overweight woman when she looked in the mirror.

    We are about 20 years older now, but I remember that clear as day. She's even heavier now, and I always hope that she'll make lifestyle changes before her weight catches up with her. I know it's an emotional drain on her already.

    I completely empathize with your sister, I'm there right now--I had this conversation with my younger (skinnier) sister this past weekend. :-/
  • Shelley6591
    Shelley6591 Posts: 156 Member
    I have a HUGE problem with this, I use to be under weight at 102 pounds and 5'7 and I still see myself as somewhere around there which is crazy because I'm more than double that :(

    mkcongrove1- Our starting weight and current weight are identical ;):wink:
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
    It's amazing how the mind works. When I was really heavy, I knew it but was in total denial of just how big I was. If I lost some weight, I thought I must look fantastic! Not sure why I couldn't see it in the mirror or even notice it on the scale. Seeing myself in pictures didn't always do it either but ultimately that was a big part of what broke the camel's back, so to speak.

    I went to two big events in 2009 - one in the summer to see my college roommate and one long weekend with my 2 best friends in the fall. After seeing the pictures on FB from both of these events, it finally hit me that enough was enough.
  • lavaughan69
    lavaughan69 Posts: 459 Member
    My mind is always playing tricks on me. I didn't think I was gaining weight back after a significant loss a few years back and then all of a sudden I went to go on vacation in March and realized that none of my clothes fit! How the heck did that happen? I thought I wasn't looking that bad. As it turned out, I was wearing stretch more often than not and didn't noticed that I was getting bigger and bigger.

    The problem is once I finally clued in to the 30 lbs weight gain, it was like instantly I saw myself at the size I was and it was complete devastation. 3-1/2 months later and I'm down 27 lbs and I'm starting to see the thinner me now, but I also saw a recent picture of myself and thought I looked good. So maybe taking pictures is the key?? Clearly looking at ourselves in the mirror isn't working.

    I just hope I can stay motivated to reach my goal of 140 (15 lbs to go). I don't want to quit when I "think" I look good enough.
  • SergeantG
    SergeantG Posts: 92
    I totally see a 'not obese' person in the mirror....hell, when I stand in the mirror, I think "hey, I look pretty damned sexy!".....but then, I see a picture and then I say, "maybe not so sexy!" :laugh:

    I don't hate what I see in the mirror, and I don't necesarily hate what I see in pictures, although I know I'm overweight and unhealthy....I am not 'shocked' to see my reflection, perhaps I should be....I know that there is probably a disconnect in the way I veiw myself in front of the mirror compared to what others around me probably see....
  • ReneeReiser
    ReneeReiser Posts: 28 Member
    I still hate when someone else takes a picture of me. I always ask to see the picture first. I think I will always be my biggest critic even if everyone else tells me I look good in a picture. As for my mirror, I am truly loving my accomplishments. Being able to go in to a plus sized store and not even fitting into the smallest size was my happiest day! If I can't see myself "thin", then it would be hard to want to reach the finish line.
  • mkcongrove1
    mkcongrove1 Posts: 81 Member
    I still hate when someone else takes a picture of me. I always ask to see the picture first. I think I will always be my biggest critic even if everyone else tells me I look good in a picture. As for my mirror, I am truly loving my accomplishments. Being able to go in to a plus sized store and not even fitting into the smallest size was my happiest day! If I can't see myself "thin", then it would be hard to want to reach the finish line.

    I remember being on vacation with my husband and not being able to fit into the largest size jeans they had at PacSun and being upset for a second but then thinking that none of the sizes were realistic (even though I had a pair of size 5 jeans from them I use to wear in my "skinny" days). The mind is a powerful thing. Someone suggested a book earlier in the thread I think I am going to read.

    Also I am on EVERYDAY if you would like to friend me, I believe in supporting people no matter what! We all have our own stories but we all are working towards a common goal and to me, that is awesome! :)
  • Shelley6591
    Shelley6591 Posts: 156 Member
    I'm the same with pictures, I don't have any of myself and had to get professional ones for work and I had no notice so now they're on the website and if you put in my name, there it is :( My sister's wedding is in October and there are 5 girls in the party, I'm the only big one and most of them use to be models. I got super upset today looking on her wedding website and saw the picture she keeps using of me is the one where I was my lowest weight in years which was 4 years ago, well at least now I'm only 16 pounds from that weight again thanks to this site!:)

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