Goal weight 'too thin'????? Anyone else?

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  • roachhaley
    roachhaley Posts: 978 Member
    yeah, my boyfriend always says "youre going to be under weight soon". eermmm... i'd have to lose 15 pounds to be underweight. not exactly "soon".

    i just ignore it. most people dont know how to judge someone else's weight. my dad wholeheartedly thinks i weigh 100 pounds LOL. men...
  • diadojikohei
    diadojikohei Posts: 732 Member
    I'm 5'9" and I've gone from 220lbs to 148lbs and my goal is 126lbs. When I tell people I've got another 20lbs to lose they're always like "woah, you'll be nothing but skin and bones" - a lot of the friends I have now have only known me being larger. Before I started gaining weight, around 17/18, I weighed 8 stone (112lbs), yes I was slim but I definitely was overly skinny.

    I've got a small frame and I'm quite confident that I'm not going to look like I'm about to snap at 126lbs.

    At the end of the day it's your body and you know it best - so long as you're 100% happy that the goal you're setting isn't silly then go for it!!
    Prime example of how different people with different bodies and different body types can all look great but weigh very different amounts. I'm 5'5" If I weighted 126 I'd look anorexic. My goal is 149. I'd LOVE to hit 139 but for now 149 will do. I wouldn't want to go lower than that. I weighed 129 when I got married. I wore my sister's wedding dress. She's 5'7 and weighed 117. I was 5'5" and weighed 129 but I wore it in the original stitching (minus a bit of hemming). We had the same body shape and size despite her being 2 inches taller and 12 lbs lighter.

    I don't know you so I can't say if your ideal weight is too low. Maybe it is. Maybe they are seeing that you are the same height as them and THEY would be skin and bones at that weight. Maybe they are comparing you to how you looked before you lost the weight you did and they think you look gret now. Maybe they think women look better with a bit of meat on their bones.

    Completely agree and age does make a difference.
    I am 47 and I look at the photo's of me in my wedding dress at 23 and think ''was ever that skinny?'' Then I remember why I had to make my own dress!!
    I've had 4 children now and for many years swam 3 times a week and built a house! My hips are much wider as is my back. Last year I got down to 144 lbs and you could see my ribs and when I lay down on my back you could see right down my jeans!!

    The best thing is to take a photo of yourself because you can be more objective than looking in the mirror.
  • castadiva
    castadiva Posts: 2,016 Member
    I'm 5'7.5" and have lost just over three stone so far. I'm aiming to lose another 2 (roughly), which will still have me significantly heavier than most women of my height, but is appropriate for my very large, muscular build. When people ask about my weight loss and I say I still have a way to go, the general response is that I need to be careful I don't get "too thin".

    I carry my weight well - I looked OK 3 stone heavier - but I think the problem is perception, particularly from those who have never had a weight issue of any significance. Losing five stone would make most 'average' people too thin, and their concept of weight and size is directly related to their own physique - generally smaller-framed and less muscular than mine. The people who say this also tend to underestimate my clothing size by a size-and-a-half to two sizes. People are, in general, very poor at guesstimating weight, and take their cues from the immediate visual impression, rather than assessing body-composition, frame-size etc, so the number they hear us talking about losing may be being subtracted from a much lower imagined number than the reality, hence the reaction!
  • escadachic
    escadachic Posts: 395 Member
    I'm 5ft2 and currently weigh 58kgs. I look fine in the right clothes, but in some clothes, I don't look so ok.

    I find, if I mention that I'm not at my goal weight yet, people tell me, oh you look fine, you're slim, you don't need to lose anymore weight.

    I say, look, it's about how I dress. So the perception clothes on, is good and I am good at dressing to make myself look as good as possible. But you haven't seen me naked or in my underwear. That's a totally different story.

    And often people who are commenting are people who aren't happy with their weight. And also, they have seen me at my largest, so I think they compare me currently, to where I have come from weight wise. And they figure I should be happy.

    I'll be happy when I look good in all my clothes. Currently it's dresses that can be less then complimentary.

    I know what too small looks like on me and I wouldn't go there. Last time I got too small for my liking, I just ate more food and gained some weight. Easy fix. If only losing weight was as easy as gaining weight!

    For me, my BMI says anything between 47kgs-62kgs is 'healthy'. But on me, I know anything below 50kgs on me, looks unhealthy and anything over 60kgs also looks unhealthy on me.

    I think to taller people, when I mention my current weight, they think that's quite small. They forget, I have a small frame and less bones and skin and muscles then them, at this height.
  • gaiareeves
    gaiareeves Posts: 292 Member
    I would just not listen to other people.

    It's right that most people can't really visualize how much weight a stone or two actually is. As long as you're not aiming for an unhealthily low BMI, I wouldn't worry about it.

    I'm 5'3.5", started at 11st 11lbs, currently 9st 1lb, and I'm aiming for around 8st 7lbs. If I tell most people I'm aiming to lose more weight, I get the same lines of 'you look fine as you are, that'll be too thin, you don't need to lose any more weight, etc, etc.' Which is true; health wise, I do not NEED to lose any more weight. But it is about confidence as much as it is health, and at 8st 7lbs my BMI will still be 20.7, and therefore healthy, so it is most definitely not 'too thin'.

    You have to do what YOU want, screw everyone elses opinion. As long as you're not aiming for something sickly thin, then you're fine. Your goal sounds perfectly reasonable to me.
  • SheilaN1976
    SheilaN1976 Posts: 266 Member
    my ideal weight for my height is 125 lbs but i honestly think that would be too thin for me, i was 145 lbs at one time, 11 yrs ago,and i thought i looked really good so my goal is 145 lbs not the ideal weight, i believe i would look anorexic if i was to get to 125 lbs and that is not the look i am going for.
  • lilmisfit
    lilmisfit Posts: 860 Member
    I just ignore those people. Like someone else said, the ones who usually say things like that are those that want to lose weight themselves but can't be bothered with it and are jealous of your efforts.

    Congrats on your loss so far!
  • cardiokitten
    cardiokitten Posts: 401 Member
    Yup, all the time! My goal is not underweight, so I don't let it bother me, I just want to be where I want to be, which is still in the range for healthy, so I know I'm not hurting myself. I think the comments stem from jealousy tbh. Let YOU do what YOU want at the end of the day! :)
  • JenKillough
    JenKillough Posts: 474 Member
    Some people do think so, yes. But I think it's that we are so used to obesity. Carrying extra fat around seems the norm. I was 120lbs most of my adult life. I reached my goal a couple of months ago and I feel and look fantastic again, finally. My husband loves it too. My grandfather told me I need to eat :D But... he's always going to say that!

    I think that if you are at your ideal lean physique and it's somewhat easy to maintain, and you are getting adequate nutrition, calories and exercise... you're ok.
  • giveMEbeauty
    giveMEbeauty Posts: 192
    4ft 11
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
    I think a lot of times it's what they think is the polite thing to say. A way to say, "You look great now."

    How would you feel if you said, "I'd like to drop another 20 pounds," and they said, "Sure you don't want to aim for 40?"
  • stealthq
    stealthq Posts: 4,298 Member
    Geez, I sure hope 128 lbs isn't too thin at 5' 2". I'm 5' 3" and 126 lbs and need to lose some more fat. I'm probably around 26% body fat and I'd really like to get in the low 20's anyway. I'm thinking I'm going to end up somewhere between 115-120, but I'm waiting to hit my first goal before I decide what the next one will be.
  • Frelling_Tralk
    Frelling_Tralk Posts: 56 Member
    When it comes to weight, I have found people who tell you a weight is too thin for you generally come from two categories: 1) someone who has had to deal with a child who didn't like to eat and really was too thin and 2) someone who has a real concern about eating disorders.

    Being thin is just a by-product of getting and staying fit for me. I get the "be careful, you don't want to get too thin" thing from people close to me sometimes. People are people.

    Yeah I agree, I think a lot of people say that when you're dieting and plannig to lose more because they panic about you getting carried away and losing a little bit too much
  • I_Will_End_You
    I_Will_End_You Posts: 4,397 Member
    I'm 5'6, 121 and my original goal was 120. I still have fat to lose, though, so I'll lower it. I don't think I look too thin at all. I want the muscle to show, so the fat has got to go! A lot of people on here comment on people with low goal weights how they should "get help", "see a doctor" or "learn to love yourself" blah blah blah....but I think you should be the size you're happy with, not what people tell you that you should be. If you're healthy and doing it the right way, go for it, don't listen to what other people say.
  • Frelling_Tralk
    Frelling_Tralk Posts: 56 Member
    I say, look, it's about how I dress. So the perception clothes on, is good and I am good at dressing to make myself look as good as possible. But you haven't seen me naked or in my underwear. That's a totally different story.

    Yep same, I know how to dress to flatter myself, but that's a long way from being at my ideal weight
  • CoderGal
    CoderGal Posts: 6,800 Member
    I think many people get concerned when they see someone dropping weight trying to be significantly lighter then they are for mental health reasons, or if they see you eating far to little. I found people were more comfortable and changed their mind when they saw me eat sensible amounts etc and had a sense I was losing because of better choices and a healthy and active lifestyle. Particularly when they saw a change in my health for the better.
  • Matiara
    Matiara Posts: 377 Member
    I'm 5'11" and was 192 when I last weighed in April. I'm probably in the 180s now and my goal weight is around 150. That was my weight my entire adult life until I got lazy the past few years. Anyway, I've always been the skinny one in my family and even now, I'm still the thin one. I often got passive aggressive comments about my weight when I was thinner like, "Why do you exercise? Do you want to be anorexic?" Now that I'm overweight, they say things like, "You finally got a black girl booty" and seem pleased with my weight gain. My aunt insisted that I didn't weigh as much as I said and I had to get on the scale just to shut her up. Even then, she said I look fine and shouldn't worry about it. Yep, I shouldn't worry about my 33 inch waist with diabetes, hypertension, and cancer running in my family.

    Needless to say, I don't discuss my goals with them because I don't care to hear their comments. My mom and a cousin who I'm close to are the only ones I discuss losing weight with because the rest of my family doesn't see anything wrong with my having gained 40 pounds.

    My coworkers are much the same. I carry my excess weight primarily in my belly and butt and since I dress to camoflauge those areas, they don't see it and look askance whenever I mention that I'm trying to lose weight. However, if I mention that I have a skirt that I can't wear and it's my goal to fit into it again, they applaud that. Isn't it the same thing?

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