Extremely discouraged... overeating is killing me

Hi all,

I am feeling extremely discouraged today. I am finding it so hard to find balance in my life. I want to enjoy the foods I love which is mostly junk, but I need to lose the weight...

I have always been a yo-yo dieter. I will eat healthy, fell great about the weight I am losing and then all it takes is one slip up like eating a piece of candy and I am binge eating for the rest of the day. I feel that I am always craving junk even if I do allow myself to have a small handful of chips to curb the cravings. I just want more and more.

I never used to be like this. I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted - but since I didn't think about my weight I would never go on psychotic binges where I have to eat everything in sight - therefore I always maintained my weight. I hit my highest weight after losing 20 pounds on a pretty restrictive diet... I couldn't take it anymore and ended up binge eating for a month.

I don't know what to do. I sit here all day craving food. I am trying to eat 1500 calories per day instead of 1200 but the weight just isn't coming off...

I need some advice and support
«1

Replies

  • em1976
    em1976 Posts: 119 Member
    Bump(sorry dont have time to reply in full but hoping this may knock it to top again so you can nab some advice)
  • QueenOfDreamz
    QueenOfDreamz Posts: 2 Member
    BUMP - I keep losing 6 pounds, gaining 4 pounds back, losing, gaining. It's like my mind, as it sees the number on the scale (or the way my body looks) go down, it's like, "NOPE NOPE, time to start eating and not working out again!". I dunno what to do..
  • AmyZ46
    AmyZ46 Posts: 694 Member
    I notice when I eat carbs I crave more carbs and sugar . I have not had an overwhelming craving in quite a while and I think it's because of my protein increase.
    Make sure to eat healthy snacks with protein so you don't get too hungry .

    This works for me anyhow .

    Are you working out regularly? I work out even if I don't want to....


    good luck
  • danarandallreed
    danarandallreed Posts: 132 Member
    I understand your frustration. You have to forgive yourself for a slip up and then forget about the slip up...easy to say, of course.

    I have been on the same roller coaster you describe. This past Monday, I bought a candy bar and decided I would only eat half. That was futile. I ate the whole candy bar and spent the rest of the day snacking and eating things that are high carb. It was a trigger for me. I recognize it now. I usually pick a fight with food when I want to get my way; then, I can justify eating whatever I want for however long before I realize how miserable I am. This time, I found the courage to just let it go and do my best the next day. I made peace with the Milky Way. I went ahead and logged everything I ate and just accepted that I had consumed twice as many calories as I needed, just for that day.

    Making right choices is not the same as a restriction, it is a choice. Truth is, I really wanted the candy bar. I can want a candy bar and not pick a fight with it to get my way in eating everything else in my path.

    Using MFP is helping me be accountable and accept when I make a mistake. If I mess up another day, that is a single day, not a whole week, or whole month, or whole year. For me, acceptance is opening the door to peace.
  • 1234suroor
    1234suroor Posts: 41
    I am in the same situation. Thankfully you made a thread about this because I thought I was the only one! I see a loss of 2-3 lbs and its as if my body tells me: Ok this was easy, now this will be a linear trend!
    Hence the binges.. leading to weight regained and then some more!

    So what I am trying now is this, I am incorporating all my trigger foods into my caloric intake which is 1500-1600 (TDEE-20%) so that I am not restricting anything I love hence I never feel like I am on a diet or any sort of restrictive process.

    You say you used to be able to eat anything you wished without it being a psychological trigger to binge, I was exactly the same and at my lowest weight. But what I remember was that I used to have everything yes, even the most calorie dense most decadent desserts.. but in moderation. I would automatically restrict in the subsequent meal, knowing I had said calorie dense food previously. It was as if my brain was subconsciously counting calories for me! Our bodies our truly amazing. But now since we have established a distorted relationship with our food and we are always conscious of it.. we need to make an effort to do what we used to do instinctively back then. Fit everything into your goals. You would be surprised how many treats you can fit into your 1500 caloric intake goal! Then if you feel like having an additional brownie later at night, either have it and don't worry about it (100 calories never hurt anyone) or just do a bunch of aerobic exercises to ensure you can incorporate it into your goals for the day!

    For me, its not about losing weight now, its about creating a healthy relationship with food again because the healthiest relationships, the ones which are natural, are easy and instinctive.
  • 1234suroor
    1234suroor Posts: 41
    Btw now I have my biggest trigger foods: nutella and peanut butter, every day.. with about 200 cal gone, it leaves me less 1400 cal of food outside the realm of trigger foods, which is more than enough to hit all my macros!
  • callas444
    callas444 Posts: 261 Member
    Being at home thinking about food all day is a recipe for disaster. You must keep your mind and body busy in order to be successful. I'm not a doctor, but you sound like you might be depressed. Depression can definitely make it impossible to meet your goals. You might consider seeing your doctor to see if a mild prescription might bring your energy and moods up.
  • Akimajuktuq
    Akimajuktuq Posts: 3,037 Member
    So counting calories and willpower isn't working... hmmm.... yup, me too.

    WHAT you eat matters. Really. There are ways to eat that will eliminate cravings and the need to over-eat. Binge eating disorder is a disease of malnutrition; at least in my case. As soon as I started eating healthy food, eliminated foods that make me sick, increased fat and lowered carbs, and stopped eating lots of processed foods... BOOM, miracle-no more cravings, no more binging, insane good health (I was VERY sick), energy through the roof, effortless weight loss, etc etc.

    Some people can continue eating junk and lose weight. However, like me, you sound like you are not one of those people. Yes, over-eating low nutrient crap IS killing you. I hope that you choose to do something about it.
  • srankara2004
    srankara2004 Posts: 9 Member
    Are you working out? I looked through a couple days of your food diary and it looked pretty good calorie wise, but some of the reasons you aren't seeing the difference in the scale could be the sodium content of some of the foods you are consuming. I have those days too when sweets and carbs are really tempting but I only buy them in some packages or count them out and hide the box. You can't deprive yourself of what you love or you are going to binge. Drink lots of water, I drink water at home flavored with lemons and limes, it keeps the cravings down and make sure you eat lots of veggies. If I am having a bad night I go for another bowl of lettuce with a little bit of salad dressing, it sure beats the chip bag or cookie box. You can do this, you are worth it! Also, I weigh myself every morning and log it, it keeps me motivated and I know I can start to read my body better. It works for some but not for everyone. Good luck!
  • dnunny70
    dnunny70 Posts: 411 Member
    I tend to agree with this. It's like I need that protein! My breakfast needs to have protein in it and the only carbs need to come from the food, not added like bread/toast/cereal.

    I tend to have eggs for breakfast...just about every day. Sometimes I'll have a little ham or some cheese, sausage, turkey bacon. Also, I like to make scrambled eggs loaded with veggies.

    I know that not every day am I going to eat perfectly...I just won't allow myself to have day after day of horrible food choices. I need to pick myself back up and just get back on it. I usually only last a few weeks eating better/exercise. I'm on 40 days! have all days been great, no. Have I lost weight every week, no. I actually didn't weigh myself every week. I am now because I am in a few challenges...if I wasn't in the challenges, I would only weigh and record my weight every other week.


    ***EDIT: I meant to quote the poster that was talking about eating protein.****
  • Nanneden
    Nanneden Posts: 1
    Hi, it is a daily battle! I, too, am struggling to find a way to see reduction in weight . I have just started using Myfitness Pal a few days ago, haven't managed to stay under my calorie limit yet, but I'm getting closer. : ) I didn't arrive at this weight overnight, so I guess it's going to take some time, huh? Maybe I'll feel encouraged when I actually lose some weight. We can do it!
  • Akimajuktuq
    Akimajuktuq Posts: 3,037 Member
    Being at home thinking about food all day is a recipe for disaster. You must keep your mind and body busy in order to be successful. I'm not a doctor, but you sound like you might be depressed. Depression can definitely make it impossible to meet your goals. You might consider seeing your doctor to see if a mild prescription might bring your energy and moods up.

    Yes, sitting around doesn't help. NO to meds. Please don't hand out this advice!!! Depression, low energy, hopelessness, etc can be cured with diet. Yes it can! There are a whole bunch of us right here on MFP that have done just that, along with many other illnesses.
  • BrainyBurro
    BrainyBurro Posts: 6,129 Member
    Hi all,

    I am feeling extremely discouraged today. I am finding it so hard to find balance in my life. I want to enjoy the foods I love which is mostly junk, but I need to lose the weight...

    I have always been a yo-yo dieter. I will eat healthy, fell great about the weight I am losing and then all it takes is one slip up like eating a piece of candy and I am binge eating for the rest of the day. I feel that I am always craving junk even if I do allow myself to have a small handful of chips to curb the cravings. I just want more and more.

    I never used to be like this. I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted - but since I didn't think about my weight I would never go on psychotic binges where I have to eat everything in sight - therefore I always maintained my weight. I hit my highest weight after losing 20 pounds on a pretty restrictive diet... I couldn't take it anymore and ended up binge eating for a month.

    I don't know what to do. I sit here all day craving food. I am trying to eat 1500 calories per day instead of 1200 but the weight just isn't coming off...

    I need some advice and support

    - don't restrict foods from your diet.
    - don't buy into all that clean/primal/paleo/low car/low sugar/low fat/gluten-free/etc. nonsense that tells you that certain foods are good and other foods are bad. food is just fuel.
    - don't hold yourself to a standard that NOBODY can meet. we are not perfect.
    - learn about your macros and strive to meet those goals.
    - set a smaller deficit from your daily TDEE and strive to lose the weight over a longer period of time.
    - be patient.
    - allow yourself treats every day if that's what you need to do to avoid later binges.

    losing weight is not rocket science. so many people fail and yo-yo because they fall into an antiquated mindset about what they must or must not eat in order to be "healthy". it's all unnecessary. worry about your calories and macros and not what food choices you're making. if you are meeting your calorie and macro goals, the majority of your food choices will be good ones anyway, but you can still have pizza and ice cream and bread and hamburgers and all sorts of other things you love, as part of your diet.

    also, lots of people find that protein helps keep them full, longer. not keeping too many snack foods in the house can help combat mindless eating. switching to drinking mostly water can be a big calorie saver.
  • getting_fit86
    getting_fit86 Posts: 128 Member
    Thank you guys, this is so encouraging to know that others are with this as well. It is terrible and I am trying my best to overcome but its like food SWALLOWS me whole!
  • kyleekay10
    kyleekay10 Posts: 1,812 Member
    Hi all,

    I am feeling extremely discouraged today. I am finding it so hard to find balance in my life. I want to enjoy the foods I love which is mostly junk, but I need to lose the weight...

    I have always been a yo-yo dieter. I will eat healthy, fell great about the weight I am losing and then all it takes is one slip up like eating a piece of candy and I am binge eating for the rest of the day. I feel that I am always craving junk even if I do allow myself to have a small handful of chips to curb the cravings. I just want more and more.

    I never used to be like this. I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted - but since I didn't think about my weight I would never go on psychotic binges where I have to eat everything in sight - therefore I always maintained my weight. I hit my highest weight after losing 20 pounds on a pretty restrictive diet... I couldn't take it anymore and ended up binge eating for a month.

    I don't know what to do. I sit here all day craving food. I am trying to eat 1500 calories per day instead of 1200 but the weight just isn't coming off...

    I need some advice and support

    I used to be like this, but I am slowly changing my ways. It's important to account for a "treat" of some sort every day in your calories. If I'm feeling binge-y, I make sure I have room for a popsicle, skinny cow ice cream bar, etc at the end of the night. It allows me to feel like I'm not fully dieting, because I can still satisfy my sweet tooth.

    If you binge on normal non-treat food, then you should start looking for healthier alternatives to those meals. For me, I love mexican food (and tacos!). So instead of going to Taco Bell, I make my own Ground Turkey tacos with black beans, a bit of salsa and a whole-wheat tortilla.

    And if you're like me and sometimes just want to eat all day no matter what it is.... get something like celery to snack on. You can eat that all day long without any bad effects, and it keeps your mouth busy.

    Stick to it, get creative, and you'll get there! :)
  • Jdiaz72
    Jdiaz72 Posts: 29 Member
    I can relate to this! I am just about 10 - 15 pounds from my goal. Have been for years. Thanks for the tips. I think it is just pure discipline and deprivation. ;( Hard but necessary.

    Then a lot of working out to not gain back and more deprivation.
  • corgicake
    corgicake Posts: 846 Member
    Keep yourself busy doing things that matter to you as a way to help reset your lifestyle in general. For example, would children in low income families fall under one of the groups you would like to see doing better? If so, find out if there is a tutoring program looking for volunteers or some other activity that helps them. Also, learn to make versions of things you crave that are kinder to your body. Do you crave Chinese take-out food? A lot of it looks and sounds intimidating to cook, but it can be done. A dish I want to pull off soon is lower-calorie sweet and sour chicken. I'll probably drop the calories in my version by battering thinner strips of chicken and cooking them with a thin layer of fat on the pan similar to pancakes.
  • clarkeje1
    clarkeje1 Posts: 1,641 Member
    I have the same problem. Some things that have helped me:

    eating at tdee-20% per scooby's calculator. he gives me a lot more calories than mfp does and still accounts for losing 1 lb per week

    planning meals and snacks. if i have a plan i'm more likely to stick to it than just thinking "I'm hungry, what sounds good right now?"

    prepping snacks ahead of time. putting a bunch of ziplock bags with 1 serving size (weighed out) of chips or whatever into the box so when i go to grab a snack i only allow myself 1 serving and it is already figured out for me

    have friends/family/significant other help you. even if it pisses me off to hear "You shouldn't eat that", it does make me think twice
  • abetterluke
    abetterluke Posts: 625 Member
    Reading your post actually made me question whether or not I had actually written it and was going crazy. I'm seriously in the exact same boat. Sounds like a few others are as well. I'm really at a loss for what to do. The worst part is that I can get super motivated and lose 30 lbs...and then all of the sudden my mind starts working against me and it makes me hate every second of my life without junk food. And then I end up binge eating on crap food until the weight all comes back and then being depressed about letting myself go...again.

    I need help.
  • abetterluke
    abetterluke Posts: 625 Member
    Being at home thinking about food all day is a recipe for disaster. You must keep your mind and body busy in order to be successful. I'm not a doctor, but you sound like you might be depressed. Depression can definitely make it impossible to meet your goals. You might consider seeing your doctor to see if a mild prescription might bring your energy and moods up.

    I don't think binge eating automatically qualifies someone as depressed. I binge eat like crazy and can put away 3000-5000 calories in a day without any real problem and I don't feel depressed at all. I definitely feel upset and somewhat depressed AFTER a binge but the next day I usually feel alright. Overall I enjoy my life pretty well and am in the exact same boat as the OP.
  • astartig
    astartig Posts: 549 Member
    I am in the same situation. Thankfully you made a thread about this because I thought I was the only one! I see a loss of 2-3 lbs and its as if my body tells me: Ok this was easy, now this will be a linear trend!
    Hence the binges.. leading to weight regained and then some more!

    So what I am trying now is this, I am incorporating all my trigger foods into my caloric intake which is 1500-1600 (TDEE-20%) so that I am not restricting anything I love hence I never feel like I am on a diet or any sort of restrictive process.

    You say you used to be able to eat anything you wished without it being a psychological trigger to binge, I was exactly the same and at my lowest weight. But what I remember was that I used to have everything yes, even the most calorie dense most decadent desserts.. but in moderation. I would automatically restrict in the subsequent meal, knowing I had said calorie dense food previously. It was as if my brain was subconsciously counting calories for me! Our bodies our truly amazing. But now since we have established a distorted relationship with our food and we are always conscious of it.. we need to make an effort to do what we used to do instinctively back then. Fit everything into your goals. You would be surprised how many treats you can fit into your 1500 caloric intake goal! Then if you feel like having an additional brownie later at night, either have it and don't worry about it (100 calories never hurt anyone) or just do a bunch of aerobic exercises to ensure you can incorporate it into your goals for the day!

    For me, its not about losing weight now, its about creating a healthy relationship with food again because the healthiest relationships, the ones which are natural, are easy and instinctive.

    See this is why I ditched the scales. If I don't know the numbers, I can't use it as an excuse. I can't freak out about it. there is just nothing healthy about knowing the numbers for me. if the pants get lighter things are going well, but I don't rationalize it at all. if hte pants get tighter something is going wrong and you have to rethink your strategy.
  • mssierra2u
    mssierra2u Posts: 86 Member
    You don't mention working out, which you may find really helpful. I recently read an article that stated that one of the benefits of exercise is that it helps to re-balance our brain chemistry. The whole binge eating cycle thing may be a need for the rush of chemicals that our bodies release when we eat our "magic" foods. Protein helps. Give your self permission to start again, if you fail momentarily. This journey is not easy, but the benefits will be there for you to reap along the way.
  • RCottonRPh
    RCottonRPh Posts: 148
    I don't think it's really about the food, calories, or carbs. You are sabotaging yourself and unless you tackle and deal with the reasons behind it, you will continue to do so.
  • Akimajuktuq
    Akimajuktuq Posts: 3,037 Member
    Hi all,

    I am feeling extremely discouraged today. I am finding it so hard to find balance in my life. I want to enjoy the foods I love which is mostly junk, but I need to lose the weight...

    I have always been a yo-yo dieter. I will eat healthy, fell great about the weight I am losing and then all it takes is one slip up like eating a piece of candy and I am binge eating for the rest of the day. I feel that I am always craving junk even if I do allow myself to have a small handful of chips to curb the cravings. I just want more and more.

    I never used to be like this. I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted - but since I didn't think about my weight I would never go on psychotic binges where I have to eat everything in sight - therefore I always maintained my weight. I hit my highest weight after losing 20 pounds on a pretty restrictive diet... I couldn't take it anymore and ended up binge eating for a month.

    I don't know what to do. I sit here all day craving food. I am trying to eat 1500 calories per day instead of 1200 but the weight just isn't coming off...

    I need some advice and support

    - don't restrict foods from your diet.
    - don't buy into all that clean/primal/paleo/low car/low sugar/low fat/gluten-free/etc. nonsense that tells you that certain foods are good and other foods are bad. food is just fuel.
    - don't hold yourself to a standard that NOBODY can meet. we are not perfect.
    - learn about your macros and strive to meet those goals.
    - set a smaller deficit from your daily TDEE and strive to lose the weight over a longer period of time.
    - be patient.
    - allow yourself treats every day if that's what you need to do to avoid later binges.

    losing weight is not rocket science. so many people fail and yo-yo because they fall into an antiquated mindset about what they must or must not eat in order to be "healthy". it's all unnecessary. worry about your calories and macros and not what food choices you're making. if you are meeting your calorie and macro goals, the majority of your food choices will be good ones anyway, but you can still have pizza and ice cream and bread and hamburgers and all sorts of other things you love, as part of your diet.

    also, lots of people find that protein helps keep them full, longer. not keeping too many snack foods in the house can help combat mindless eating. switching to drinking mostly water can be a big calorie saver.

    Why are you trying to sabotage someone who is struggling with craving/bingeing with the above advice? "Treats" often trigger binges. Yes, sometimes the only way to overcome cravings/bingeing IS to eliminate certain foods (sometimes temporarily, sometimes permanently), most of with are low in nutrients and not healthy anyway. It would help if you understood how certain foods affect hormones in the body-hormones that regulate appetite and fat storage. Just because you don't have experience with uncontrollable craving/bingeing that can't be resolved with willpower and a "balanced" diet doesn't mean that other people aren't experiencing just that. Thanks for playing your part in helping keep someone in the dark and away from trying a possible solution. If I had kept eating a "balanced" diet I probably would have been dead before 60. I might as well have been dead at 39 because that's how bad my quality of life was because i was so sick and fat.

    But yeah, I'm soooo deprived by eating steaks and salads. It's so terrible. Feeling AWESOME is soooo not worth giving up a few foods. Instead, I should have never eliminated any foods or changed anything until I had full blown diabetes, etc. Whatever.
  • callas444
    callas444 Posts: 261 Member
    Being at home thinking about food all day is a recipe for disaster. You must keep your mind and body busy in order to be successful. I'm not a doctor, but you sound like you might be depressed. Depression can definitely make it impossible to meet your goals. You might consider seeing your doctor to see if a mild prescription might bring your energy and moods up.

    Yes, sitting around doesn't help. NO to meds. Please don't hand out this advice!!! Depression, low energy, hopelessness, etc can be cured with diet. Yes it can! There are a whole bunch of us right here on MFP that have done just that, along with many other illnesses.
    It is not for us to say whether someone needs medicine or not. I simply suggested seeing a doctor. Depression is a very complex condition and should be evaluated on a case by case basis. Saying that someone should not take meds for an illness and that it can be cured by diet is a disservice to all who read this. Depression is real. True depression is not something you just snap out of. There is a stigma attached to taking medication for depression that makes people feel ashamed because they got help. WHY??

    Do not tell me what advice to hand out. It is not your place. It is not your place to judge those who reach out for help with their depression and are prescribed something that improves their life. Medication is not shameful. Looking down on those who take it is.
  • I'm in the same boat. Today was really bad. I went over my calories by 300 and I haven't done that in awhile. I don't have any advice just wanted to say I feel the same way!
  • BrainyBurro
    BrainyBurro Posts: 6,129 Member
    I'm in the same boat. Today was really bad. I went over my calories by 300 and I haven't done that in awhile. I don't have any advice just wanted to say I feel the same way!

    this is not bad.

    people need to stop trying to live up to these ridiculous standards. nobody is perfect, going over by 300 hardly makes the day "really bad". change your mindset.

    weight loss is a long term project. what matters is how most days are. everyone has occasional slip-ups and nobody should ever get discouraged by those. that's what leads to a bad relationship with food, binging, and other detrimental behaviors.

    just go an extra 150 under tomorrow and 150 the next day to balance out your 300 surplus today.
  • amtru2015
    amtru2015 Posts: 179 Member
    I have a tendency to over eat too because i LOVE food!! Not afraid to admit it--i eat because things taste good. So, what ive done is have one day a week as my cheat day---i can drool all week thinking about what im gonna eat on Friday night, but it will not happen until then. Other than that, its simply self will.
  • nebslp
    nebslp Posts: 1,669 Member
    Sounds like I've been in the proverbial boat with lots of other people. I was really struggling with staying within my calorie count (1600) until about 10 days ago. Then I decided to start to figure out this macro thing. My cholesterol was way up. The good kind (hdl) was super high, the bad, and total were also high so I decided to do an experiment. I cut my fat intake from 30+% that I was eating due to daily intake of good fats from nuts and olive oil to 20% and upped my carbs to 50%. I've been trying to get 30% protein and am finding protein foods take away my cravings. I don't know if the numbers are good or bad, but I'm simply amazed at how I look at food these past few days. I don't choose my food based on how many calories I have left, but I do make sure it works with my macro goals. It's like I have less desire to eat high fat food because I know it won't serve my purpose of getting my cholesterol numbers down. It means looking at food as fuel, not as something that will fill an inner need other than hunger. If I'm hungry, I eat. But I know I can't go rummaging through the frig or cupboards looking for something that I can't justify eating. For an evening snack I might have albacore tuna with pickle relish and multigrain crackers. It really works for me. I also love fat free lime or vanilla greek yogurt with a tablespoon of chocolate syrup (150 cals...no fat). I'm going back in 10 days for another blood profile and I'll see if this made a difference. Even if the numbers don't change, I'm going to continue watching my macros and trying to stay within them most days. I believe we can take control of our health but it's all about the choices we make and where our goals are on our priority list. Good luck to everybody.
  • onwarddownward
    onwarddownward Posts: 1,683 Member
    I was always starving, because I could not live on 1200 cals. Then I started swimming, which burns about three times the cals of most aerobics. Now I can eat and I'm not hungry,

    Yea!