Self Sabotage

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marilynx
marilynx Posts: 128 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
Ok, so I have a bit of a problem. I apologize in advance if this topic has already been posted or discussed. I just couldn't seem to find it.

So I'm kind of trapped In a vicious cycle. When I start of losing weight I do really good. I eat right, exercise, drink water and all that good stuff. My problem hits on I step on that scale. When I weigh myself and it's a loss for the week I slack. I begin to rationalize, "oh, I lost 2 pounds, I can afford to eat this pizza." Right now I'm doing this 30 day Tae Bo Challenge, and part of that challenge is not weighing myself for the entire 30 days. But on day 4 I was becoming so discouraged because I was tired. I decided to weigh myself anyway to see if there was any positive change. There was. I lost weight. But ever since I weighed myself that day I've been exercising like I'm supposed to, but I've been eating chips, pizza, just junk in general.

I'm trying to figure out what the psychology behind this could be. You'd think if I had a loss then I'd want to keep doing what I was doing to lose more, but that's not the case. I lose weight, then eat more all over again. I weighed myself and I went from 207 to 212 in a day. I didn't record it because I know it's because of bloat and not giving my body a chance to digest, but it's still hard to see that.

I guess my question is what psychologically could be going on that prevents me from continuing good habits, and what advice does anyone have to offer.
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Replies

  • MyaPapaya75
    MyaPapaya75 Posts: 3,143 Member
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    I think you need to give yourself rewards....lets say for every 15lbs have a reasonable dinner at a restaurant...it wont set you back far enough...you may just be indulging too frequent
  • marilynx
    marilynx Posts: 128 Member
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    I think you need to give yourself rewards....lets say for every 15lbs have a reasonable dinner at a restaurant...it wont set you back far enough...you may just be indulging too frequent

    You know, I like this idea. Instead of treating myself every week after I lose weight I can treat myself after I lose a certain amount of weight. That way I can get used to telling myself, "not yet."
  • healthygreek
    healthygreek Posts: 2,137 Member
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    First and foremost make sure you're eating enough and not trying to lose too fast.
    Next don't deprive yourself of your fav foods, just eat them within your calorie alotment.
    If you deprive yourself, you set yourself up for a binge or overeating.
  • fit4lifeUcan2
    fit4lifeUcan2 Posts: 1,458 Member
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    yes reward yourself but not with food. You're not a dog. I reward myself with new clothes, getting my hair or nails done, going to a movie etc. If you do go out to eat just make sure it fits in with your calorie goals. Don't splurge and go way over and then regret it later. To me splurging on a big meal was just defeating all of my hard work.

    I set small attainable goals for myself and then reward myself with something I'll enjoy that won't leave me feeling bad later.
  • adorable_aly
    adorable_aly Posts: 398 Member
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    You're not a dog, don't reward yourself with food.

    You need to find other ways to reward yourself/ comfort yourself other than food. It could be anything you find pleasurable, a bath with luxury salts and scented candles, a new item of clothing, getting your nails done etc.

    I won't pretend it will be easy, you'll have to work really hard, at getting in the habit of using something else as your emotional outlet, but it will get easier! You basically need to retrain the way your brain thinks about food, so repitition and habit forming is essential here.
  • hazelovesfood
    hazelovesfood Posts: 454 Member
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    Ive got to laugh .coz this is me all over. About 3 months ago i lost 5 llbs real quick which was due to stress really, anyway I kept those llbs off for about 3 weeks and it soon started coming back on again.
    I do the same as you, everytime i seem to drop a bit the temptation is out there to eat crap..
    The past week has not been the best of weeks and ive let myself go a bit, but not all together, cos if i do that i wil eat loads and i mean loads. If control goes the first thing i go for is the biscuits, i just get sick very easy of not having what i really want, but i try and control each day to a extent, coz if i didnt i would be 2 stone heavier than i am now.
  • scruffykaz
    scruffykaz Posts: 317 Member
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    I think you have to be ready to lose the weight (speaking from my own personal experience). I know you WANT to lose weight but are you ready for all that will entail? It really shocked me when I realised what I'd have to do to start shedding the lbs...

    I love junk food especially things like pizza but it is so calorific that I had to decide which I wanted more, the pizza or the weight loss. Just imagine how you will feel when you shed that weight. What other things to you enjoy? I think the thing for me was that I wanted more for my money...well calories.

    I get quite a few because I've got a lot of weight to lose but when I was eating lots of junk, I was getting less food than others on my friends list were. I could see this by looking at their diary.

    I've learnt to make healthy and tasty home cooked meals which are half the calories of some of that junk food. Also I've invested in an aero-frier which means nothing like chips are fried anymore.

    If I do want a bigger meal, I make sure I can either make up the calories over the week or I have them banked up.

    Another biggie for me has been finding healthier snacks. I do snack a lot and I don't eat as much fruit as I could/should do so I've had to find things that I can snack on while still staying within calorie limit.

    Finally, if you really want something, have it but make sure you have the calories for it or can earn them back.

    Remember, it's not all about what the scales say. Sometimes you can lose inches without it showing on the scales :-D
  • kathyrazz
    kathyrazz Posts: 52 Member
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    No advice to add but thanks for posting..I do the same thing! I exercise a lot..always have..but don't seem to be able to maintain my diet for more than a few days at a time, and definitely resort to self-sabotage if I see a loss on the scale.
  • retiree2006
    retiree2006 Posts: 951 Member
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    A lot of us have (or had) the same mentality..."I was so good that a little "bad" won't hurt". Yet that's the same thing that has led to yoyo dieting...I've accomplished my weight loss so now I can ease up. Now that you've identified your pattern, it's time to take control and break it. As mentioned, set a larger, yet reasonable, goal (whether it's lbs. or 3 months) and once you get there do a non-food related treat. If you've lost a larger amount of weight you might be more reluctant to ease up and put it back on.

    Once a problem is identified...go to the second step of working to avoid falling for it again. It will get easier over time and if you have a bad day, you'll probably be able to forgive and get on with it.
  • Laura8603
    Laura8603 Posts: 590 Member
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    The mental part is the toughest. I wore a ring that said "The journey of 1000 miles begins with a single step". It was my anchor. I twirled it when I was tempted to stray. It helped keep me on-track. Now that I'm maintaining, I make good choices 90% of the time, but do indulge sometimes. For me finding a balance was key.

    It is hard work to lose weight. You have to believe you are worth the effort. Good luck!!
  • nursekern
    nursekern Posts: 132 Member
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    I've been wondering the same thing. So many of my friends are working on losing weight too, and it seems like we ALL feel the need to reward the weight loss with food! I should probably only weigh in once a month or something, that would probably help. You've gotten some great suggestions here, just wanted to chime in and say, "Me too!"
  • elisa123gal
    elisa123gal Posts: 4,306 Member
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    I had this discussion a long while back on another fitness forum. We were wondering why we sabotaged ourselves close to goal. Not so much over a few pounds like you are doing.

    The conclusion of our discussion was; we realized that being on the diet became a way of life.. a reason to put off other goals for career, financial, personal relationships. That if we reached our goal weight we'd have to face the fact that maybe that wouldn't make us feel complete or make us feel successful. We realized that dieting could become a crutch to put off other issues in our lives that needed worked on as well.
  • marilynx
    marilynx Posts: 128 Member
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    Oh wow. Thanks everyone for your responses.

    I definitely am ready to lose weight, though I see where this person was coming from. It's just when I see the numbers fall, I don't consciously think of it but my mind does tend to think in a conditioned "reward myself" way.

    I never thought of rewarding myself in other ways besides food. Growing up food was typically the reward for doing good things, so that's what I've always gone too. This concept is mind blowing for me. I know it sounds funny but I feel like a mini epiphany went off in my head. Do you know the last time I was able to do something nice for myself that wasn't food? When I went shopping for maternity clothes when I was about 6 months pregnant. My son is now 6 months. That's a whole year about of not doing something nice for myself.

    God damn. That's pretty damn sad. I hope my mini come to hasn't made anyone uncomfortable. It's just mind blowing how much of a beast emotional eating is. It'll cause you to neglect yourself I the most basic of ways.

    Getting my toes done sure sounds like it'll be nice. Hair done even better. I'm sick of looking like a chia pet. Lol! I think it's time to revisit the budget.....
  • marilynx
    marilynx Posts: 128 Member
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    I had this discussion a long while back on another fitness forum. We were wondering why we sabotaged ourselves close to goal. Not so much over a few pounds like you are doing.

    The conclusion of our discussion was; we realized that being on the diet became a way of life.. a reason to put off other goals for career, financial, personal relationships. That if we reached our goal weight we'd have to face the fact that maybe that wouldn't make us feel complete or make us feel successful. We realized that dieting could become a crutch to put off other issues in our lives that needed worked on as well.

    Thank you for addressing the psychology portion of this. Without going too personal, I think this really applies to me. Very good incite.
  • bLui_bella
    bLui_bella Posts: 39 Member
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    If any of you watch "New Girl" this topic totally reminded me of the episode that Schmidt and Winston ruined Cece's wedding and they called it a "sabo" ... Sorry made me giggle!
  • nursekern
    nursekern Posts: 132 Member
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    I had this discussion a long while back on another fitness forum. We were wondering why we sabotaged ourselves close to goal. Not so much over a few pounds like you are doing.

    The conclusion of our discussion was; we realized that being on the diet became a way of life.. a reason to put off other goals for career, financial, personal relationships. That if we reached our goal weight we'd have to face the fact that maybe that wouldn't make us feel complete or make us feel successful. We realized that dieting could become a crutch to put off other issues in our lives that needed worked on as well.

    Thank you for addressing the psychology portion of this. Without going too personal, I think this really applies to me. Very good incite.

    This makes a ton of sense!
  • jennifir
    jennifir Posts: 197 Member
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    I couldn't have asked it better myself. I also find I sabotage myself if the scale goes up or doesn't move. I just give up. It's a mental thing and I don't know how to get past it. I think. I put my 100% in other aspects of my life, like my job. Why can't I put the same energy and love into myself? I am actually actively seeking a therapist to help me talk this through.
  • lilbearzmom
    lilbearzmom Posts: 600 Member
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    I think you should remove the trigger- the scale. Hide it or get rid of it. Just weigh once a month. That way, if you do end up eating junk after your monthly loss, it's not like you're going to put a whole month's loss back on. I also have trouble with the scale- I hide it because if it gets left out I must jump on it, and sometimes the number dictates my mood for that day. I refuse to let it. Good luck!
  • nursekern
    nursekern Posts: 132 Member
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    I think you should remove the trigger- the scale. Hide it or get rid of it. Just weigh once a month. That way, if you do end up eating junk after your monthly loss, it's not like you're going to put a whole month's loss back on. I also have trouble with the scale- I hide it because if it gets left out I must jump on it, and sometimes the number dictates my mood for that day. I refuse to let it. Good luck!

    My mood is dictated by my Thursday weigh-ins. You're on to something here, once a month is probably a much better plan! It's ridiculous to put myself and my family through a "bad day", or even a "bad hour" because of a stupid number. Thank you for posting.
  • hzliiz
    hzliiz Posts: 166 Member
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    Have you considered ditching the scale -- out of the house, give it someone to hang onto -- and use measurements to track instead? Psychologically I'm more stoked by seeing my waist and hips get smaller than by the scale. Caveat, don't measure too often, maybe twice a month b/c like with weight there will be fluctuations day to day that can drive one bonkers.

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