Unsupportive comments when eating with others...

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  • lithezebra
    lithezebra Posts: 3,670 Member
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    Take it as a compliment. People have noticed your healthy eating! If you want to be proactive, thank your mother for teaching you good habits and self discipline. That will be hard for her to respond negatively to.
  • UKMarjie
    UKMarjie Posts: 257 Member
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    Does anyone else feel uncomfortable sometimes eating with certain people? I had lunch with my mom yesterday and she kept referring to my "healthy" eating... yes, she used air quotes every time she said it. Plus I'm going to a family gathering with my boyfriend today and they always have yummy food, which I DO eat btw, its not like I completely refuse it! But it seems like people still make comments about me eating healthy... like its a bad thing! I always try to just laugh it off, but it really stresses me out. Just wondering what anyone else does in these situations!


    I do not have that problem because I DON'T CARE! MY HEALTH, MY RULES, when it comes to MY HEALTH I see ONLY ME! If you do not have this attitude then your life belongs to any strong wind that blows in, you are not Grounded.

    Even water - which doesn't seem stronger than rock - when it falls repeatedly on the rock's surface, will bore a hole through it.

    If you hear negative comments repeated constantly it will work on you. This is not a sign of weakness but an observation on the nature of things - just like seeing the hole in the rock. I agree that you have to be at the centre of your needs but it doesn't mean that you are completely alone and unaffected by the things happening around you. No one is living on an island of solitude - and even if they were, sometimes it would rain and it might get them down a bit... Having strength and being grounded is demonstrated by being able to recognize your frailties, and those of others, and forgive them in yourself and them and work to overcome them...
  • melissaw78
    melissaw78 Posts: 214 Member
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    I have had success using the line, " I would LOVE to eat what your having, but I can't seem to tolerate digesting that anymore." Even if it is a white lie sometimes, it still gives a legitimate reason for not eating what they think you should be having, unless they want to put with threatened flatulence.

    And they still get to feel superior.
  • Gee_24
    Gee_24 Posts: 359 Member
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    I'm fed up of hearing " You don't need to lose weight!!! Eat this!!! " I'm sorry, but with a starting weight of 9 stone and being 4ft 8, I really do need to go on one! My family give me that phrase most days.

    Every day at work, the hotel they serve staff a full fry up buffet. Most people it eat at least a little something, bar me. And people get upset thinking I don't eat at all! But I eat plenty of what I like, at home.

    Lunch is usually something hideous, too. Even if its something I love like say, Lasagne, the chefs still make a pretty rank version for staff, so I only eat Nutrigrain if I eat at all at work.

    My colleagues are amazing, I love them all to bits, but because they are concerned about me, I get a lot of stick for not eating at breakfast and lunch. Seeing the food in there puts me off food unless its a rice dish. I could eat rice all day. Mmmm.
  • goodnamegone
    goodnamegone Posts: 237
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    I don't know why people have to say stupid things but they will find anything to say stupid things about if they are that type of person. I have the opposite to your post, I feel self conscious eating ice cream even though the other 90% of what I ate today was super healthy. I guess the weigh issue with me is also tied up with self esteem issues/feeling vulnerable about some areas of self. So know you are not the only one who gets these feelings.
  • seabee78
    seabee78 Posts: 126 Member
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    One response my daughter told me that works pretty good is "Well, I'm diabetic and I have to watch what I eat". And everybody instantly nods and understands and drops the subject.

    One convo I had over dinner went like this...
    Friend: I see you're having salad. Eating healthier, huh? You know, that salad dressing is fattening though.
    Me: You know what? You're right. I should send this back and get the double cheeseburger platter which is what I really wanted to eat.
    Friend: *silence*
  • Antoine112
    Antoine112 Posts: 49 Member
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    People who are unsupportive are just jealous because THEY can't do it.


    This!
  • AHack3
    AHack3 Posts: 173 Member
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    Yes, and it does bother me. I just try to remember why I'm doing what I'm doing. I realised that most of the people that do comment are much heavier than I am, so I just tell myself I must be doing something right!
  • tmm_0127
    tmm_0127 Posts: 545 Member
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    I find that the people in my life who say those things around me eat worse than I do. My dad once commented on a salad I was eating. It was a big salad with lots of veggies and some tuna on it and he said "are you going to EAT all of THAT?" as he chowed down his meaty chipotle bowl. He makes comments like that all the time. "Are you sure you want to eat that?" I think in my dad's case it wasn't meant the way I took it, but for most people I think they say things like that because they want to put attention on your eating habits to take it away from their own.
  • TropicalFlowerz
    TropicalFlowerz Posts: 1,990 Member
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    Meh - time to brush up on your sarcasm. If its family or friends smile when you use it.

    ^^^^^^THIS!
  • RunningForeverMama
    RunningForeverMama Posts: 261 Member
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    I really have the urge to start telling people that it is rude to comment on what other people are eating! I hate it when people do that to me, usually it's my husband!
  • jamielynas
    jamielynas Posts: 366 Member
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    Going from anorexia to bulking has been hard, people are always saying "you eat so much!!" but then I remember that food is awesome and anyone who makes you feel ashamed or guilty for eating whatever you damn well please can go to hell IMO
  • FP4HSharon
    FP4HSharon Posts: 664 Member
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    "As a rule, there is no surer way to the dislike of men than to behave well where they have behaved badly."
    --General Lew Wallace (1827-1905, American Civil War General, Author of "Ben Hur")
  • shortmomma81
    shortmomma81 Posts: 62
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    lol:laugh:
  • TeachTheGirl
    TeachTheGirl Posts: 2,091 Member
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    My mother in law is the one who generally makes comments about it, but I try to be polite and eat what she makes in smaller portions. I think she's worried that because I'm losing weight, I'm not planning to give her more grandchildren. Which I'm not, but not because I'm losing weight, but because I don't want any more kids. XD
  • Michielynn222
    Michielynn222 Posts: 81 Member
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    Oh my gosh! I know this feeling for sure.
    Like when you eat a small ish sized plate and pass on desert, people look at you like you've grown 2 heads or something.
    I've had family ask me if i'm sick, or not feeling well when i don't eat what looks like a decent amount to them :|
  • willhope1212
    willhope1212 Posts: 6 Member
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    Thanks everyone for your comments, support, and stories! I will definitely try some of these suggestions the next time someone thinks they have a right to comment on what I eat. I'm sorry to everyone else who also deals with this, but I am happy that we have so much support here :)

    Thanks again, everyone!
  • ThatOperaGirl
    ThatOperaGirl Posts: 138 Member
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    I was recently travelling with some friends and one of them took it upon herself to comment on pretty much EVERYTHING that I put into my mouth. I had some snacks that I kept in our hotel room -- almonds, cottage cheese, bananas, apples, rice cakes -- which are all things that I genuinely LIKE to eat because I think they taste good, but well, they're not chocolate bars. I'd grab a banana, and this girl would go, "Oh, look at you with your little banana being all healthy!" Honestly, I just tried to ignore it because although it was annoying and weird, I don't think think she meant it maliciously.

    The kicker was when our group went out for Italian one night and I ordered a chilli prawn pasta because 1) I love chilli prawn pasta and 2) the menu description made it sound like it was just tossed in oil, garlic, and chilli rather than in a rich sauce. Turned out the menu was misleading, and it came out drenched in a thick, creamy garlic sauce. Oh, well, I had ordered a side salad as well, so I ate that first, and then had maybe about a third to half of the pasta. The girl shook her finger at me and goes, "Well, that's better! We needed to get some cream into you, you've been FAR too healthy this week!" and started laughing. I just stared at her in a sort of confused disbelief -- and it was kind of nice that the others at the table had exactly the same reaction as me. Later, one of them even took this girl aside and flat-out told her to stop talking about my food because it was none of her business.

    The next day, she apologised to me and said that watching me make healthier choices made her feel guilty for eating her favourite foods. I tried to assure her that I was honestly just eating in the way that made me feel best, and I wasn't making any judgements about what others preferred to eat, but I'm not sure whether she believed me or not. In any case, she finally shut up about my food!
  • JDHINAZ
    JDHINAZ Posts: 641 Member
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    I think some people don't know how to react when their friends are obviously changing they're habits, so they get snarky, thinking they're cute or funny. In that case, depending on what was said, I'd probably either
    A) respond by telling them about my success to date, and how I feel so much better, or
    B) inviting them to pound sand.

    Although I love the guys response that he should have ordered the cheeseburger instead of his salad. Funny, and got the point across.
  • mikaelakosich
    mikaelakosich Posts: 5 Member
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    Yep. Sometimes my family will go to local restaurants that I know don't have any remotely healthy options. So, I'll have a big snack before and cook myself up a healthy dinner after. My mother refers to me as her "anorexic daughter" whenever possible.

    Also, all of my friends are the "eat crap and don't exercise" thin type. So when I eat with them I look like the stereotypical fat girl with a salad from like a movie or something.

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