Any single mothers out here?

Lmns218
Lmns218 Posts: 155
in Motivation and Support
Are there any single mothers on MFP? Seems like all who participates is either married with children, or are engaged with no children. Well, a lot of the time it's just me and my son. I am frustrated because I burned 70 calories less doing the same workout I did a few days ago because I just kept getting interrupted!!! I mean, a lot of times, I cannot even go to clean my house good, or cook without him being my little shadow and wanting to do everything I do and it slows me down. I know he is at that age where he wants to help..and I really want to keep fostering that independence and helpful attitude, but sometimes, I wish I did have someone in my household where I can say "honey, can you get him for a minute please!!! I am trying to_______"?! I mean, even as I type all I am hearing is "mommy, mommy, mommy"!!!! I mean, don't get me wrong. I love my son, but it is hard doing it alone!!!! It just seems like a never ending struggle...I am over one hump, then here goes the next disaster!!! I hardly get any time where I can just breathe, or splurge on myself-and to make it so bad, I went to school and got a degree-and I have a really good paying job...but yet it still is a struggle. Every time I try to have something in my savings account, it is always some kind of disaster that occurs that happens to cost the exact amount that is in my savings-this time it was my car...and it cost all of my savings and then some to fix....I needed that money for something else...now I am back to square one-well, actually a deficit really! I know this is a weight loss site....but healthy, clean food costs a lot more money than the alternative and I cannot even think about how I am going to even pay for that this next month with all these "disasters" coming up that has caused me to fall behind!!! It's frustrating and I am trying to pull through. I am just wondering if there is anyone out there that can relate to my struggle.

Replies

  • whitebalance
    whitebalance Posts: 1,654 Member
    Yes, I can relate. I had that exact same problem. And then the following day, he turned 18, graduated from high school, and went out of state for college. And he was gone.
  • weightedfootsteps
    weightedfootsteps Posts: 4,349 Member
    I'm a single mom of two girl!!! I know how you feel. My kids are not at that helpful stage...its more of a lets make a mess and scream for hours when mommy tries to make us clean it up...and she ends up doing it herself kinda stage. Mine are 13 and 8, girls. Yes its hard...does it get easier...on good days, Yes! But you just gotta take the good with the bad and make it what you can. Take the little one for a walk with you...wear him out a little if you can...so you can get the hard workouts done. I will say that my daughters fight over the computers...so when I want a workout (or some quiet)..I set each one at a computer for an hour..and if I have a nephew over someone gets the t.v. I know...bad parenting..but I also take them swimming and walking with me often. And I try my best to get them outside playing.

    I'm sure there are several single moms on here...we all struggle with finding time...even the ones with husbands. Husbands aren't always that helpful I hear...LOL

    Good luck on your journey!!! You can add me as a friend if you like :)
  • MyJourney1960
    MyJourney1960 Posts: 1,133 Member
    I raised my son (who is now 27) almost entirely on my own - and i can very much relate to what you are writing. It's tough! and you are right - you don't have that *additional adult* who can give a hand.

    What worked for me:
    *understand that sometimes you have to come first. and while you "can't afford it" sometimes you will have to pay for a babysitter just to have a few free hours for yourself. (I used to leave my son with a baby sitter so i could go FOOD SHOPPING! i just needed 2 hours without hearing 'mommy mommy mommy')
    *do things *with* your son - take him to the park and run around with him, toss a ball, throw a frisbee, have a race... you get the picture.
    *reach out to others in your community, see if you can trade baby sitting with other parents.

    and lots of hugs. in a blink your son will be an adult.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
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  • whitebalance
    whitebalance Posts: 1,654 Member
    It really does get easier as they get older and develop lives of their own. You will be able to claim more time for yourself when he has more mobility and friends and interests outside the home... Even if you do spend half of that time worrying about where he is and whether he's ok. :embarassed: The suggestion to make active time equal play time is a great one. Wear that kid out! You'll get your workout, have fun, make him happy, and build a foundation for the rest of his life. Also, totally embrace that shadow thing while it lasts! Take a little time to teach him to do chores around the house so he can take a load off you now *and* not be a domestic train wreck when he moves out. Less idle time for him means less "mommy, mommy" for you.

    As to money... Yeah, it's just scarcer in single-parent households. Fresh food isn't really more expensive than processed stuff, but it's less convenient. But if you prep it ahead on Saturday or Sunday for the whole week (have him help you!), it's more manageable.

    God bless you for raising a child on your own. It's a huge sacrifice, pretty much putting your own life on hold. It isn't easy. It isn't always fun. But it is an amazing curriculum in selflessness and probably the most rewarding thing any of us will ever do... And it is "over" before you know it.
  • thenewsam88
    thenewsam88 Posts: 5 Member
    I'm a single mommy, my little boy is two...=) it is hard...that I have to live with my parents..
  • MyJourney1960
    MyJourney1960 Posts: 1,133 Member
    oh yes, get him started on "helping" really early on. I had my son sorting laundry, setting the table, wiping cabinets (water in a spray bottle and a rag could keep him happy for hours), sweeping etc when he was really little.
  • loopylin32
    loopylin32 Posts: 63
    single mum of 4 here.... boys 18, 15 and 5 and my daughter is almost 3. Add me if u like :)
  • Fuzz_bomb
    Fuzz_bomb Posts: 10 Member
    I no that feeling! Add me if you like :)
  • AmyLaura19
    AmyLaura19 Posts: 13
    I'm a single mum of a little girl, she is two.

    I can relate to this.
  • fancynance77
    fancynance77 Posts: 20 Member
    Single mom of a four year old last here. It's tough. But on the up side I can totally dictate our diet. I don't have to suit another adult.
  • fancynance77
    fancynance77 Posts: 20 Member
    Meant to say lady not last!!
    Feel free to friend me anybody. We all know how lonely the evenings can be so MFP can be a life saver
  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
    It's really hard and incredibly frustrating but it can be done. Many of the women on my FL are single mom's and have made incredible transformations. Hell, a few of them have done so well that they are now competing in physique shows.

    Always keep in mind that losing weight is about diet, nor exercise. Missing 70 calories of a workout is the equivalent to skipping a few sips of OJ or the last few bites of a sandwich. And like the poster above mentioned, as the only adult in the household you get to direct all the food decisions at home. A quick perusal of this forum will show you what an advantage it is not to have a non dieting person to cook for.
  • Tattx
    Tattx Posts: 11 Member
    I am a single mom to an 8yr old little girl. She is my light, my love,and my reason for Ms Clariol.....

    Just a few suggestions take it as you will.... I have found that couponing is a healthy grocery bill life saver. Also if you have a farmer's market or farm that sells their produce to the public, they tend to be cheaper than the grocery store. During strawberry season, the farm near me allows us to pick our own. So we got to pick strawberries and later she helps me make strawberry smoothies.

    Keep an eye out for promotions from gyms. I was able to get on with a gym during a "new year new you" promotion.The gym has child care, women's room, free weights, weight machines, cardio machines, all you can do classes, a swimming pool, and rock climbing wall. There are trainers there but they cost extra. I pay less a month than 3 visits to McDonalds. The gym care is a sanity saver and baby girl has a blast playing with other kids.

    This is a great time to teach your child how to be healthy. My daughter learned my bad habits and she is overweight. However since June 17, she has lost 4 lbs. The child who would never drink water now request it even when we are visiting friends. (by the way the looks on my friends' faces.. priceless) Together we are getting healthy. My only regret is I didn't do it sooner.
  • Lmns218
    Lmns218 Posts: 155
    I thank a lot of you for the input and suggestions!!!! I do try to incorporate a lot of those things...and yes I do count my blessings-it's just really hard sometimes and yesterday was such a hard day for me!!!! I decided to take it easy today....tomorrow is a new day....but I am certainly not giving up!!!! :) Thanks for taking the time to read!!!!

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