Binge eater (not bulimic or exercising)

Hi everyone
if there were an icon here for an ashamed face, I would stamp a dozen of them here...I really wish I had one of you here with me now (its 1:00 in the morning) to tell me its all okay...I binged This happens a lot. It was massive this time though....I'm 32 year old female, not overweight, but "soft" and a lot of gut (constipation!!!) + hormonal issues and my metabolism is shot...I also deal immensely with chronic fatigue and some joint/muscle issues that make exercise near impossible. I basically only walk VERY slowly per day, but most days want to hide under the bed The constipation is the WORSE>....

I just lost it and I WISH I hadn't cause now it will make tomorrow even harder (how to eat the next day, etc)....
after a full day of eats (and remember : I do not throw up or exercise and I am constipated...so)....anyway
at 11 pm I had: 3 cups of frozen grapes + 2 cups of watermelon, 300 grams of yogurt, 40 gram dark chocolate bar....then I went back and just took the yogurt tub and peanut butter jar out of the fridge and stood at the counter...and ...gone....LOST it....the entire jar of peanut butter + the rest of the yogurt tub....so in total at 11 pm at night:
- 5 cups of high sugar fruit
- 40 grams of dark chocolate
- 500 gram tub of yogurt
- 400 gram jar of real peanut butter

so ashamed
the peanut butter is the worse too cause that will make the constipation worse (been constipated all day)
I've never ever taken laxatives either except I took senokot once and I debate now whether I ought to take one or two before I (try) to sleep...but worried senokot will only make it worse? I don't know how to recover...
- what to eat the next day? how to recover and stuff when all the crap is in me? I feel SO bad guys...this continues and I feel I need a cleanse....like my tummy an binging and constipation is that bad...but colonics scare me and I cant do the juice cleanse thing....please I feel so lost and sad and scared.....I could even deal with everything I had except for that damn peanut butter jar...my ONLY consolation is that I won't dream of it tonight (sometimes i'd go to bed in past and dream of just eating the entire freaking jar of it...at least its ...done...but still...if I ate what I REALLY wanted if I were gonna binge i'd have eaten a pint of ice cream or ordered a pizza or something.....so ashamed of myself....am I ruined forever? is it ever too late? no matter how old I am, and how LONG I've binged and can't exercise? and how to recover when I can't poop (sorry) it out and would never ever even consider throwing up and can't exercise (don't even talk about it,,,breaks my heart)..please help....SO ashamed so ashamed